this bonus chapter focuses on what michaela was doing immediately before calling selina and explores what led to her giving her a call. how did she know about selina's existence, after all? was it just thanks to the part selina had in the PR scandal? or was there something else?

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INTERLUDE

MICHAELA

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          Michaela is not one to get nervous before an interview.

          She's been doing this for a long time now, and it's not one interview that should be making her want to dig a hole and hide in it, yet there she is, heart pounding in anticipation.

          The article isn't supposed to be her magnum opus; the think piece she wrote for The New York Times is. She was still working for Union Daily at the time, which shouldn't diminish its value in her eyes, but somehow it does, and she can't help but wish she could move on with her life without having that magazine associated with her name. Though it did launch her career—like, whatever, she's always been good, with or without it—there are far too many painful memories stitched to it, and it's best if she doesn't dwell too much on those. You know. For the sake of her mental health and all.

          That #MeToo article she wrote for them was the big catalyst that made her want to write this one, interviewing all those important women. When positions of power are constantly given to men, even if there are women far more deserving of it, who have worked fifty times harder, only to be ignored and condescendingly tossed aside, something must be done.

          Now. Michaela is well aware there's not much she can do on her own to change things. That would be wishful thinking and she'd much rather stay grounded and think of realistic solutions, thank you very much. So, after years and years of publicly saying she supports women, she has decided to put her money where her mouth is, and is deciding to share a platform with successful women, whose accomplishments are routinely eclipsed by those of less capable men.

          "Are you sure you want to do this?" her editor-in-chief, Astrid, asked her, when she pitched the idea. Michaela saw her eyes dart down to her protruding, pregnant belly, and she instinctively set a hand on it. Though Astrid had been extremely understanding regarding Michaela's pregnancy when she first hired her, the same old stigma always finds a way of coming back, and it's infuriating. "It's a demanding piece. You'll be working on these interviews for a long time, and you'll still have other things to work on. I don't want you to overwork yourself just because you feel like this is something you have to do. You don't owe anyone anything. You know that."

          Except she does. Whenever Michaela thinks about that conversation, her mind instantly travels all the way to California, to Winona Bernard, who was, undoubtedly, the scapegoat for hate comments during the whole Lincoln and Beverly Kean PR fiasco from a few months ago. Michaela holds grudges like no other, but it's not fair to get Winona involved in something she didn't even get a say in, and there's no way of excusing the disgusting comments that were left just so either Michaela or Beverly could be attacked or defended. They've mostly stopped now, but they come back sometimes, and it's infuriating to see, especially when Michaela knows she could have done more to help it stop than by doing just the bare minimum.

          "I've been in a position of power and have done next to nothing with it for far too long," Michaela argued. "What good is it for if I only use it to benefit myself?"

          Astrid's eyes softened then. "What happened wasn't your fault."

          "Not all of it. I think I might have enabled a part of the angry mob at some point, even if I didn't encourage or allow it. I want to make things right. I don't want this to keep happening."

          "Is all of this for Winona, then?"

          Michaela's shoulders stiffened. "No. She's a big reason why I want to do it, but it's not just . . . it's not just because of everything that went down. I know I could have used my platform for better things, and I know I can do it now. There are many women who can't afford to do that, who never get a chance to. I can't build a brand around supporting women without actually doing it on their terms. It's not my voice I'm interested in hearing like an echo chamber."

          Astrid leaned back on her chair, fingers laced over her desk. "Then make sure you're doing it for them, not to ease a guilty conscience you think you have. It's very disingenuous if you do it just to pat yourself on the back."

          Thus, Michaela has been agonizing ever since the pitch.

          Astrid has greenlighted the project and it's been going smoothly, but Winona has refused to be involved in it—accepting a heartfelt apology in the process, which eased Michaela's nerves ever so slightly—and things have reached a point where Michaela is second guessing everything she's been doing so far. What if everything has just been a ploy from her subconscious to try and make herself feel better? Is that how the article will be perceived?

          Ginny, Roya, and Kelsey do try to help her, though, to the best of their abilities, but both Ginny and Kelsey are working for a competitor magazine, so she has to thread carefully. She trusts the girls, obviously, but it wouldn't be the first time she ever got burned for trusting an external party with her ideas. Lennox, who has been more involved than ever, isn't a woman, but he's more than capable of giving wake-up calls whenever they're needed.

          "It's not my place to tell you what you should or shouldn't write about," he told her, just last week, a note of irritation tainting his voice as he struggled with getting a printer to work properly. "You know better than to let your personal life get in the way of your job. You co-wrote an interview about your ex-fiancé at the time and only risked ruining it, like, twice." She groaned, pinching her nose bridge. Whoever told her pregnancy got easier as time went by . . . "You can't control how other people will perceive your actions or your intentions. I know you're obsessed with controlling everything around you, but you need to give it a rest. If you know where your heart is, where your loyalties lie, and who and why you're writing this article for, it will be shown in the way you present that article. You're not doing this for yourself; you're doing it for the people whose voices you want to uplift. Don't look at things through your perspective; let them use their own words, tell their stories the way they want to. It's not your narrative that matters."

          Even though it pains her to admit that Lennox Lane is right, it doesn't change the fact that he is, so that's what she's been focusing on. By removing herself from the narrative and letting these women tell their stories through their own words, it's easier to not contaminate everything with her thoughts and opinions. The article isn't and has never been about her, after all.

          Halfway through the process, Michaela decided to expand the range of people she wanted to interview. Besides women, she's been reaching out to influential people, with a plethora of gender and sexual identities—basically everyone who isn't a cishet man—and Astrid's feedback has been positive and highly helpful. If she wants to showcase diversity and uplift diverse voices, she can't limit herself to a specific group of people.

          There are still a lot of people left. Some of them don't even bother replying, even after two follow-up emails, and there's only so much patience a pregnant woman can dedicate to such trivialities. Losing Winona has been a rough blow, she won't deny it, and she doesn't feel ready to reach out to Beverly Kean and bury the hatchet just yet; after all, some wounds take longer to close than others.

          "Here's your apple slices," Michaela's assistant, Jersey, tells her, setting a bowl of dried apple slices in front of her. With a sigh, Michaela closes the tab instead of refreshing her email inbox every two minutes, waiting for replies that aren't coming. "Are you okay? You seem down."

          "Yeah. It's just this stupid article. I've come too far to give up on it, but I also feel like it's given me way too much trouble. I know it's super important, but . . ." She brushes her hair back, away from her face. "I just don't want to look Astrid in the eye and have to hear her tell me 'I told you so' or have to admit I'm in way over my head. I'm not," she rushes to say, before she can look like a weakling in front of her own assistant. Hasn't she been fighting against that for years now? "It hasn't been easy. That's all. I didn't book a few key interviews, and time is running out. I need to have this article finished before the end of the year."

          "Oof. Sounds rough."

          "You think?"

          Jersey flashes her a nervous smile in return. "Is there anything else you can do in the meantime instead of torturing yourself in front of your inbox? If anything, you're just stressing yourself out over things you can't control. It's bad enough when you're obsessing over those you can control. Take a break."

          "I'll die before I decide to take a break."

          "I know. Anyway, I'll be at my desk if you need anything. Take it easy."

          She spins around on her heel and heads towards the door, with Michaela being left with her own thoughts and her dried apple slices, the one snack she can never let go of like she did with all the others. Though Jersey was only there as an intern at first, she ended up proving herself to be a valuable asset for Serotinal Magazine and, now that Michaela is so heavily pregnant, she knows she wouldn't have survived this far at work without Jersey's help.

          (She hates to admit she's been needing extra help lately, but it's true.)

          Jersey once mentioned having a sister with a radio talk show ("half-sister, technically," Jersey said. "We share a father."), and Michaela vaguely remembers trying to tune in to listen to it, but ultimately forgetting. Either their schedules don't match, or there's just too much going on in Michaela's life for her to have time for those things—a theory which is more and more likely to be true.

          "Jersey?" she calls.

          Jersey's head peeks out from the hallway. "Yeah?"

          "What's your sister's name?"

          "Selina. Do you need to talk to her? I can get you in touch with her. She's probably busy right now, but . . ."

          "It's okay. I found her. Can you give her assistant a call if she's at work? Tell her we need to have a quick chat, and that it's important."

          Jersey's face lights up. "I'm on it."

          She leaves again and there's nothing Michaela can do but wait, but even that is agonizing. She forces herself to tune out Jersey's voice, not wanting to set herself up for disappointment—and, worst of all, failure—by not being able to reach Selina, but there aren't many other things she can think about. For starters, Selina was somewhat involved in the PR drama, mostly stepping in to defend Winona and Beverly—particularly Winona, with their Instagram accounts showing off just how close they are—but she was always respectful and never attacked Michaela. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders and is someone people look up to, as evidenced by everything Michaela can find about her online, making her a good fit for the article.

          Good thing Michaela is good at improvising. When Jersey tells her she successfully got their call to be transferred directly to Selina—though she's somewhat disappointed for not being able to reach her sister herself—Michaela's chest is about to burst with pride, excitement, and that gnawing feeling of nervousness.

          Taking a deep breath, she picks up the phone.

          "Hello?" a friendly voice greets, from the other side of the line.

          "Selina?" Michaela tries her best to match her energy. "Hi. My name is Michaela Tate, and I'm an editor for Serotinal Magazine. Do you mind if we chat for a bit?"