Shisui still didn't say anything, but next morning, he couldn't get out of bed. Itachi didn't have a choice but to go to work himself, calling in to Shisui's job to say he was ill. He planted a kiss on Shisui's forehead before he left.

"Get up and eat, okay? There are muffins from the weekend in the freezer, and we have toast with cream cheese."

"Mmm", Shisui murmured.

The day after was, luckily, a Saturday, so he didn't have to call in sick again for Shisui. But even if Itachi was glad Shisui got some rest, he couldn't help but start getting irritated. Itachi knew almost every corner of Shisui soul and knew something was up that Shisui wasn't telling him. He was incredibly hurt that Shisui did not invite him to this particular room in his soul. He felt, ridiculous as he thought it was, incredibly left-out.

"Why won't you talk to me?" he asked softly on the Saturday evening.

"I'm too tired, Itachi", he said.

Itachi then decided he'd had enough of Shisui's bullshit. His life was beginning to become covered up by a dark gloom, and Itachi wouldn't have it. He phoned Lauren, his best friend, Shisui's ex. She'd given birth to her and Chris's first child two months ago, and Itachi knew she was tired but also desperate to go out.

"Care to do me the honour of having your first night out as a mom with your gay best friend?" he asked her. Lauren was the only person with whom Itachi took on this teasing personality. He was honestly not very comfortable with it, but who had ever had any personal development by staying in their comfort zone?

"Itachi, my ride-or-die, my better half, the man who fucks my ex, the Godfather of my child, hell yes", she said.

Itachi put on an oversized grey T-shirt over a black-and-white striped long-sleeved T-shirt and baggy, pitch-black trousers and velvety plateaus. He put his hair up in a much higher ponytail than he usually did, took his autumn coat and left.

Shisui didn't even notice.

Itachi met his best friend up outside their favourite nightclub, which was a gay club welcoming everyone but straight, cis men. Itachi thought she looked amazing after having become a mother, her dark hair thick and lush, exaggerating her curves with a red dress over which she wore a leather jacket. She had a bright red lipstick to go with her red dress. Itachi wasn't at all attracted to women, but he could appreciate them in the same way he would appreciate... The Parthenon, for example.

"You look fucking stunning", she said.

"You swear so much since you've become a mother. Aren't you worried your child will take after you?"

She grimaced. "You sound like Chris."

Lauren bought a drink, Itachi bought a shot. Itachi had only begun dipping his toes into drinking a couple of years ago, on his own accord, being curious. He found he liked to get a little tipsy some nights, and tonight would definitely be one of those nights. Mostly, it was because he wanted to dance, and he didn't dare to dance unless he'd done a couple of shots. But after an hour or so, Lauren pulled him with her to the dance floor. Itachi had never been in this club without Shisui, and at first he was nervous about how he would be treated on the dance floor without Shisui's huge body protecting him, but every man who loved men in the club seemed to be such gentlemen. They did approach him, though, dancing closer, politely asking if he wanted to dance, standing at a respectful distance. It was Itachi who would grab their jeans shirts, pull them closer to dance with him. And he noticed a whole new need in him; attention. Itachi needed attention, and he'd been declined it for so long now, he was starving for it.

One of the men he danced with, a tall, slender one with blonde hair and glasses who looked incredibly nerdy, danced behind Itachi and breathed into his neck, our his hands softly on Itachi's hips. And when Itachi realised how much he liked it, how much he yearned for it, he immediately had to leave the dance floor.

He went to a table, sat down, hid his face in his hands. Shit, that was close, he thought. What the hell is happening to me? I love Shisui. He was suddenly very aware of his engagement ring that had rested comfortably on his left ring finger for almost four months now.

"What's up?"

Itachi looked up and saw Lauren. She was sweaty, her makeup smudged out, and Itachi knew she had been quite drunk, but Lauren had the ability to sober straight up if anyone needed her.

Itachi looked away shame-facedly.

"Nothing"he I said.

He expected her to chastise him for not wanting to talk. But instead, she sat down opposite her best friend, leaned forwards, tied her fingers together, looked at her best friend with a serious expression on her face.

"Itachi... I have noticed about Shisui." Itachi noted how she didn't say "you and Shisui"; she knew he had no intention to leave him. "I have noticed something is wrong. And by how broken you seem, I guess it's either something serious, or he doesn't talk to you about it."

"He doesn't talk to me about it", Itachi said. "So I don't know how serious it is. It's just so unusual of him. He always has his heart hanging from his sleeve."

"I noticed how you danced with blonde foureyes." Itachi swallowed. Was he in trouble? Was she judging him for it? Of course she didn't. "What happened?"

"I think I need to leave", Itachi said finally.

Lauren looked at him for a long, long time, asking herself if she should push it or not. Finally, she nodded, having decided to drop it for now.

"Okay. But don't behave like Shisui. I expect you to come for me when you need to."

"Where the fuck have you been?!"

Itachi stopped dead in the doorway, mouth slightly open in shock. Had his fiancé just sworn at him? That had never happened outside of bed before, and only when they were drunk and Shisui turned full-on fuck-machine saying things as "You fucking slut, Itachi" and "Down on your knees and suck my cock you filthy whore" and all sorts of things that made Itachi blush.

"Out?" Itachi said carefully. Even if he had much more poise now than when they first met, he was still terribly frightened of conflict.

"Out doing what?!"

Itachi saw Shisui had been crying. One of his nails was bleeding because he'd bitten it down so much. He was holding his phone so harshly, the tips of his fingers had turned white.

"Our dancing with Lauren."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Shisui screamed and his voice cracked.

Itachi tried fighting off the tears forming in his eyes but it was futile. He cried very rarely but also, Shisui screamed at him very rarely. Of course they had argued, but not like this.

"You were sleeping", he whispered, blinking the tears away.

"I woke up in the middle of the night and you're just not. There! I have been texting and calling you but you didn't answer or pick up!" Itachi realised he hadn't checked his phone since him and Lauren met up. "No note. None of our friends to call because they were all asleep with their phones off. No nothing!  And you were out dancing with my ex?!" Itachi suddenly felt a pang of something; anger and also fright. Shisui had never, ever displayed any form of jealousy before. He suddenly thought about the men he'd pulled closer, not in any way Shisui would be uncomfortable with, Itachi had thought, but seeing him like this... Maybe, he wouldn't have liked it. Itachi remembered the blonde nerd who's danced behind him with his hands on Itachi's hip bones. He shivered. "You didn't even ask me if I wanted to come!" Shisui looked incredibly hurt.

"Why is it a problem I'm out with your ex? You've never had a problem with that before. You know we're best friends and that has never bothered you." Itachi didn't even bother to point out he had no interest in women; he felt it was beneath him. "Also, I'm allowed to do things on my own, without you." Shisui looked like Itachi had taken a gun and put a bullet through his heart. It made Itachi's own heart clench, yet he was so angry with Shisui's jealousy he couldn't just say nothing. "And be reasonable, Shisui. You've been sleeping more than half of the days! There's no way you could go out dancing in the middle of the night!" The tears were becoming incredibly hard to fight off.

"But it's about politeness, Itachi!" Shisui screamed. "You ask even if you know I can't! Or if you need time alone you say that! You don't just leave, no note, no text, no anything! I've been worried sick! I thought..." Shisui was trembling "I thought you left."

It got to Itachi then that, even if he had every right to go out with his best friend, he'd done his love wrong by not leaving a note or at least be contactable throughout the night. He realised Shisui suffering didn't give Itachi the right to act carelessly regarding his emotions. Itachi would never, ever had gone out without saying anything had Shisui not fallen ill; it wasn't a matter of control but of safety, having someone always know where you were, and also a matter of partnership, your partner always knowing where you were so they had a picture of your life without them even if they respected your time alone or with friends.

And when Itachi realised this, he hid his face in his hands and cried.

"Oh God, Itachi..."

They stood silent for a while, Itachi shaking with silent tears, Shisui standing opposite him, uncertain of what to do. Then, Shisui made a decision, took two steps to the long-haired, frail man and took him in his arms. Itachi put his arms around Shisui's strong waist, so much smaller now that it usually was, and snivelled.

"Itachi, I'm sorry. Of course you have every right to your own private life. I was just worried sick, that's all. I trust Lauren but most of all, I trust you. God, I wasn't jealous, not truly. I just tried to dress my worry up."

"I'm sorry, too. For worrying you. I promise to leave a note next time."

"I miss you", Shisui murmured. "I miss food and Zumba and programming but most of all, I miss you."

"Let's go to the mountains, Shisui", Itachi said suddenly. He's been thinking about it but hadn't dared to voice it. "I don't care that you sleep all the time. But let's celebrate our first salary and rent a cottage in the mountains and just hang out."

Itachi's hig tightened around Itachi.

"I'd love that."

And all was slightly more right with the world.