Dirk opened his fridge looking for breakfast. Smuppets flooded out.

Dave walked in the door,"Bro, you are pathetic."

"Yeah. I know that thank you very much."Dirk moaned. He stood up. Smuppets flew every where. Dirk pulled toaster waffles out of the fridge,"But why am I so pathetic?"

"You live with puppets."Dave mumbled.

"Yeah but-"

"You've never had a date."

"Well-"

"You're raising a kid on your own. In a house full of puppets."

"I should have given you to the orphanage when I had the chance."

Dirk put the last two waffles in the toaster. Maybe he was right. Dave was the reason he is a failure.

Dave opened the fridge and grabbed the butter. He put it in the microwave and started melting it.

"But you're gonna be alone forever."Dave added,"I have friends. Unlike you."

"I am not alone!"Dirk yelled.

Dave picked up a green smuppet,"Oh yeah. I forgot." He snickered and threw it back down.

The microwave went off. Dave pulled the butter out and put it on the counter.

Dirk leaned on the island and picked up a butter knife,"Well, what do you suggest I do?"

"GET OUT. GET. A. DATE. GET. RID. OF. THE. PUPPETS."Dave threw a smuppet at Dirk with each word.

The waffles popped up. Dave grabbed them and put them on his own plate.

"Well......how do I get a date?"Dirk asked.

Dave started buttering the pancakes,"Get out. Go to the mall or whatever. Plenty of girls there."

Dirk looked at him.

Dave finished his waffles. "Well, I have places to be."

He walked out the door.

******************************************

Jake ran down the stairs. There was one biscuit left. It looked like Jade was still sleeping on the way down. He skipped the last four steps and jumped down. He rounded the corner. The plate was empty.

Jade was sitting at the table eating the last biscuit.

"JA~ADE."Jake whined.

She finished chewing the last bite and swallowed,"Morning, Jake."

"The biscuit..."Jake whispered.

"Oh yeah."Jade smiled."I forgot."

She threw a bag at Jake and he caught it. He opened it. IT WAS FULL OF WARM, UNEATEN BISCUITS.

Jake grabbed one and shoved the entire thing in his mouth.

John sleepily walked down the stairs. "Morning."he moaned. He rubbed his eye.

Jake and Jade stared at him.

He slapped a hand on the empty biscuit plate, expecting one to still be there. He groped the plate and looked at it."Where'd the...-"

Jake tightened his grip on the bag. John seemingly didn't notice and looked at Jade. She looked at Jake.

"No." Jake said firmly.

"Jaaake."Jade raised her eyebrows.

"What?" John mumbled

"But my biscuits~"Jake whined.

"What?"John was a little more awake now, but he was still pretty ignorant as to what was going on.

"Fine."Jake whimpered. He threw a biscuit at John.

It bounced off his head. They both stared at him. He looked at it on the floor and hesitated.

Jake picked it up and handed it to him. John picked it out of his hand and sat down at the table next to Jade.

Jake signed,"I need a break from you two."

John perked up and jumped off his seat. He dropped his biscuit.

"Egbert. Calm."Jake said.

He pounded his hands on the table,"A DATE."

Jade looked at him,"A date?"

John nodded excitedly. Jade took a second to think. Her eyes lit up,"DO YOU THINK?"

John nodded again. Jade jumped up. They ran upstairs.

"Hey where do you two think you're goin'?"Jake yelled after them.

The door opened downstairs.

Jade and John ran downstairs to answer it.

"Will you two just wait for me!?"Jake screamed. He shoved another biscuit in his mouth and ran downstairs after them.

They were gone. They were probably downstairs. He ran down to see if they were. Nope. He ran back upstairs. Nope.

"JADE!!!"

"IM BUSY."She yelled back.

******************************************

Dave paced in front of Jade's bed. Jade was sitting on her bed. John was in the swivel chair with his knees to his chest and was using his breath powers to spin himself in circles.

"So."Dave started,"My brother needs a date. Who would be a good person?"

John stopped short and almost fell off his chair,"Say it."

"No."

"Say it."

Dave rolled his eyes,"Who we gonna call?"

John jumped up,"GHOSTBUSTERS!!!!!"

Jade's ears perked up,"We don't have to call anybody!"

John sat down, dissapointed.

Dave stared at her,"What are you planning, Harley?"

John and Dave walked over and sat down on either side of her.

"OK, so here's the plan: First, we tell Jake he's got a date with Jane. Next, we go to your place and tell Dirk the same thing. What they don't know, is we lied to both of them! Now, we gotta go find a nice guy bar where they can meet!"

They stared at her.

"Harley...."Dave mumbled. He looked at Jade.

"THATS THE BEST IDEA IVE EVER HEARD!!!!"John yelled. He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek(out of congratulations. They were genetic siblings, after all.) Jade jumped up out of excitement. John fell forward and his lips made contact with Dave's.

Dave quickly stood up,"I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM."

John fell forward again and hit the bed frame. He sat up and rubbed his forehead.

Dave ran across the hall to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. There was a click. He locked himself inside.

Jade and John stared after him.

"Start the gay bar hunt without him?"Jade asked.

John shook his head,"I'm sure he'll be out soon."

There was a loud fangirl like squeal from the bathroom. Dave quickly slipped out of the door. They looked at him. His face was as red as his god teir. He cleared his throat,"I was thinking about......Terezi. Now let's go gay bar hunting."