Dirk sat down at the table waiting for Roxy. He had just sat down when someone plopped down across from him. He looked. It wasn't Roxy. It was just Jake. The boys stared at each other.

"Umm, hey, bro." Dirk said casually.

"Hello, chap." Jake mumbled awkwardly. He looked at his hands folded in front of him. "So. Fancy meeting you here."

"Yeah. I guess I'm surprised to see you, too. What are you doing here?" Jake looked up, about to speak.

The waiter came to the table. "What can I get you men?"

Jake opened his mouth to say something, but Dirk interuppted him. "Two beers." The waiter nodded and walked away. Dirk turned to Jake. "You drink beer, right?" Jake nodded. "Right, good. But, seriously, man, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I'm actually here on a date!" Jake smiled shyly and looked back at his hands.

"Oh, same. With who?" Dirk punched his arm playfully.

The waiter came back with two bottles of beer. He set them down in front of the boys and walked off. Dirk slid one over to Jake. Dirk uncapped his and started drinking.

Jake started to go red in the face. "Roxy." Dirk choked on his beer. He set it down and started coughing. Jake pat his back. "You okay, mate?" Dirk held his fist to his mouth. "What's the matter?"

"I'm here a date with Roxy, too." Dirk stared at him. He thought for a second. "Wait, who delivered the message?"

"Jade and John." Jake took a swig and chugged down half the bottle.

Dirk pounded his fist on the table. "Those little-"

Jake put the bottle down. "What?"

"Dave was hanging with them earlier. THEY PLANNED THIS!"

"What?"

"Roxy never asked either of us out." Dirk took a few more sips of beer, then the bottle was empty. "Those little dweebs set us up on a date themselves."

Jake looked at Dirk. "Well, we're here. Might as well have a drink or two."

"You're right." Dirk mumbled. A waitress walk past. "I'LL TAKE ANOTHER BEER, PLEASE."

*Eight beers each later*

"CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SO~ON." Dirk yelled.

Jake soon responded with "THERE'LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU'RE GONE."

They looked at each other. "LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST. DONCHU CRY NO MORE!"

"So. Have youou sen teh laterst episoode uf mah lottle piny?" Dirk asked.

Jake put down his ninth beer and nodded. "Wher the tinny aple one was all like 'YO. Dere's no aple on mah butt.'"

"Yeah. That one. Dem feelz. Moon piny was allll 'you cannit run ferm yoursilf.' and I was just all like 'Speak deem wors uh wissom moon piny.'"

Jake nodded in agreement. The waiter walked past. "Would you two like the check?"

Jake gave him double pistols and a wink. "We'll take it to go."

The waiter put the check in front of them. Jake reached for it, but Dirk put his whole hand over Jake's face and pushed him away. "Nah, bro. Bro get it. Bro get it." He pulled out his wallet.

"Nahp, man. Lemme get ir!"

Dirk payed and got up. "We should get home. Bufir, like, the apocalypse."

It was quiet between them. They looked at each other for a full second before running out the door screaming "THE END IS NEAR."