She yawned, lifting up the window over her bed. She didn't need to reach far to lift the window of the neighbor's bedroom window. It wasn't even an arm's length away, their houses were practically stacked on top of each other.

The sun hadn't risen up, but that was fine. She flicked on her nightstand lamplight, that was all that she needed. She climbed across into his room, not making a sound as to not disturb his older sister that slept in the room across his.

She wouldn't get in trouble for coming over, but it would be rude to needlessly wake her up.

"Ru," she murmured tiredly, rubbing at her eyes.

"Mmmn."

"Ru," she said again, walking across his room to his bed and gently shaking him. "C'mon. Time to get up."

"Mmn." He opened his eyes slowly, his almond gaze looking up at hers. He smiled tiredly. "Hime, g'mornin'. Time to get up?"

"Time to get up," Himeko said with a gentle smile.

He sat up, stretching his arms up over his head. "Ahh. Thanks, Hime. Waking up to you is way better than a stupid alarm clock." He leaned over to her, bumping his forehead against hers. Her face grew hot, and she was suddenly grateful the only light was from her bedroom outside. "I'll make sure I do well today, yeah?"

"Mm," was all she could say as her heart thumped and thumped and thumped.

.

.

.

Himeko blearily opened her eyes.

Figures, she thought. First night in a new place and I dream about an old memory of him.

Himeko rubbed at her eyes, hating how warm her face felt from the memory. She could still faintly feel the pressure of his forehead against hers.

He was always so physically affectionate with her.

It was conflicting.

Because he did those things to her, yet he also—

No, no, no.

We're not thinking about him. We're thinking about us. I mean me. I mean—I'm thinking about me. Not we and us. Ugh.

Himeko buried her face in her pillow.

Who am I outside of him?

Himeko didn't really know.

Most of her memories were of the boy, or of school.

What did she like?

What did she want to do?

What was she supposed to do without him?

Things she hadn't thought of before, hadn't considered she even needed to think about them—

What did she like? Him.

What did she want to do? Spend time with him.

What was she supposed to do without him? Nothing.

Those answers could not suffice anymore.

She reached for her glasses as she sat in her new room. Her aunt and uncle had been very gracious to her. Her cousins had gone off to college out of the city. One was even studying abroad in Germany—it was her room that Himeko had taken over.

It was bigger than Himeko's old room. It had hardwood flooring instead of carpet, and there was room for a study table as well as a desk. It was a good room.

A clean room.

He had never been inside that room before.

The first weekend into summer break, Himeko stayed the night. Her family wanted to make sure she would be comfortable staying there before her dad left for America. Himeko thought that was unnecessary. Even if she wasn't comfortable in her cousin's old room, she would still choose it over her old bedroom.

She needed this.

For this year she had a major goal; a single, daunting question to solve.

Himeko stretched up a hand to the ceiling.

Who am I?

დ

Her uncle and aunt were one of those old couples who constantly doted on one another. Himeko remembered her cousins complained about them a lot, but Himeko always thought they were sweet.

"Himeko," she heard her aunt call for downstairs. "Breakfast is ready, and your dad's here."

"Coming," said Himeko, hurrying down.

Tetsuya met his daughter at the base of the stairs.

"Hi Dad," said Himeko.

"Room okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "Nina said I could decorate it however I want."

Nina was her cousin studying in Germany. She won a scholarship and took off without much thought. Nina had always been the adventurous type, longing to live anywhere but Japan. Himeko had asked Nina's permission to use her room, and her cousin graciously said, "Hell yeah, do whatever."

Nina wasn't the materialistic kind of person in the first place. Everything she held of value she could fit inside a backpack which she brought over to Germany. Whatever was left behind was donated, tossed, or offered to Himeko as a hand-me-down.

Nina's room was clean and empty. Himeko was reluctant to bring her own stuff over.

She wanted as fresh of a start as possible. She had some allowance saved up that she planned on using for new school supplies.

Stuff that T—

Stuff that he never messed with.

It was silly, wasn't it? To distance herself over items because of a boy. Useful items.

What a waste, right?

She felt so stupid.

Himeko clutched at the hem of her sweater, her gaze lowering. She brushed past her father and into the dining room.

Her aunt, Tamiko, beamed. "Come sit down, Hime. Did you sleep okay?"

"Oh, um, yes," said Himeko, obediently sitting at the table. "Breakfast looks good. Thank you for making it."

Tamiko affectionately patted the top of Himeko's head. "Hopefully it tastes as good as it looks, eh? I noticed you didn't bring a lot of stuff. Are you still packing?"

"N-No," Himeko admitted. "I was, um, going to buy some new school supplies."

"Ehh?" Tamiko glanced at Tetsuya who took a seat beside Himeko. "You haven't taken your daughter shopping yet for her school supplies?"

"N-No, I—I was going to use my own allowance," Himeko quickly said.

"Tetsuya," Tamiko growled. "Take your daughter shopping. Today."

"Okay," said Tetsuya.

"Dad—"

"Himeko," he said softly, "we'll leave after breakfast."

დ

Himeko nervously assessed the rows of notebooks. Now highly aware that her dad was paying for things, she constantly glanced at price tags.

Himeko hadn't gone shopping for herself in a long time. Almost all of her clothes were hand-me-downs or gifts from her cousin and aunt. When she had gone shopping for school supplies in the past, it had been with the neighbor boy and their friend. She didn't have to think about what to get because he always picked it out for her.

What do I get? Himeko thought, her eyes darted in between the notebooks. Why are there so many options?

She chewed on her lip.

Dad's waiting on me, too... this sucks.

Her dad quietly asked, "Okay?"

"I—I don't know what to get," she admitted.

Tetsuya looked over the notebooks. "Oh."

"D-Do you have any that you like?" she asked.

"Whatever works," he said. "I never paid attention to the covers." He picked up the most expensive notebook that Himeko had been avoiding. "Why not this one?"

"That's too expensive—"

Tetsuya stared at his daughter, causing her protests to die on her lips.

"Do you dislike it?" he asked.

"No."

"Would you use it?"

"Y-Yes."

"Then don't look at the tag. We're going to get you everything you need for this year," he said. "Change is good."

"Change is good," she quietly echoed.

Himeko still couldn't pick which covers she liked best, so she ended up going with a bunch of plain white.

She hoped that once she found something she liked she could replace the cover or take something over it.

Once they had the school supplies figured out, Himeko thought they were done for the day.

No.

Her father took her to a clothing store next.

"Five shirts, five bottoms, two formals," he said. "Not leaving without that set. I'll be over at that bench."

It was an extremely, extremely, stressful two hours for Himeko. She kept hemming and hawing over outfits. She finally gave up and Googled suggested outfits. She went down a brief rabbit hole where some blogger explained how to coordinate outfits depending on skin and hair. She went off those suggestions.

It wasn't that she found things she liked, so much as she found things that matched what was recommended via the internet.

Although she was very happy that the two dresses she got had pockets. She proudly showed off the pockets to her dad.

"Supplies, clothes," her dad mumbled, glancing at his phone. "Room decorations? Where do we get that?"

"What?"

"Your aunt sent me a list," he said. "I can't drop you off until we're done."

Himeko whimpered. "This is an exhausting day."

"Change can be tiring," he said. "But it can be good."

They had to stop for lunch before moving further down the list. Himeko really didn't know what she liked enough to pick out things for herself, so she was overwhelmed. Most of the clothes that were commended for her were pastels, so she went with that as a theme for her room. She did not like nor dislike pastels, she just wanted to get through the list.

As they continued to shop Himeko found herself getting better at making decisions. At least she didn't spend any longer than an hour in Ikea.

"The last item is... something you want to try," he said. "Mm... new hobby you want to pick up?"

Himeko hesitated.

There... had been something she wanted to try out. Something she purposefully avoided for a very long time.

She restricted herself because she wanted to separate herself from the other girls in his life.

But why?

So stupid. So crazy.

She focused on being helpful over what she wanted. She wanted to be unique, special, one-of-a-kind to him.

Not anymore.

She wanted to be Himeko—whoever Himeko was.

And Himeko wanted to try to be like the other girls. She wanted to try the things she saw online. She wanted to see if it was as fun as it looked. Could she make other girl friends at school? Could this be something they talked about?

She didn't know.

A few weeks ago, she wouldn't have had the courage to even ask her father for something so trivial, but now—

"There is something I want to try," she admitted shyly, quietly.

"Okay," he said.

And for the first time in her entire life, Himeko stepped foot in a makeup store. She (painstakingly) talked to a very pretty saleswoman who kindly spent over an hour helping Himeko pick out what she needed. The woman even suggested a blogger who had a beginners guide.

And so the long, tiring, yet somehow rewarding day was over.

Himeko spent the entire next day hibernating in her new room to recover.

დ

She had met Shōyō in February that year, and when school was let out in March, she devoted a fair portion of her summer break to helping him practice volleyball. It was not the same kind of devotion she had given to her neighbor boy—not the unhealthy obsession she had nurtured.

Helping Shōyō was fun, relaxing, and warm. He was all smiles and sunshine, sincerely eager to play with her.

He did not make her feel nervous like the neighbor boy did, nor did she feel any pressure to be with him.

It was as easy as breathing.

Once upon a time, it was like that with that boy.

But when someone becomes your whole world, easy is no longer allowed in your vocabulary.

(Especially if you weren't their whole world in return)

He had gotten better—a lot better—since when they first started to play together. Himeko's father came by and helped with their practice. He was short like Shōyō—not as short—and had played basketball in high school. He wasn't intimately familiar with volleyball, but he knew how to jump.

Oh, yes, her father thoroughly impressed Shōyō with how high he could jump. Shōyō was eager to replicate his techniques.

Of course, that wasn't the only thing they did. Shōyō was determined to make Himeko try something new every day they were together.

How long can you do a hand stand?

Have you ever climbed a tree before?

Let's race down a hill backwards on our bikes!

How many Baumkuchens can you fit in your mouth?

Obscene and sometimes dangerous. Whatever idea popped into Shōyō's head at the end of the day, Himeko gave it a shot. Sometimes she was too nervous to make the first step, but with Shōyō's enthusiastic encouragement, she found herself taking that leap of faith.

Every day she took a step out of her comfort box and consequently found the world felt a shade brighter than before.

Things were settling in. She was finding a routine—a happy routine.

Eventually, she even found enough courage to try out the makeup she bought.

She sat on the floor of her room in front of her low sitting table. She had her phone propped up on the left, a mirror on the right, and the makeup supplies she had purchased earlier in between. Her face was raw from being constantly scrubbed clean after each attempt.

Again and again, she practiced. Himeko was nothing if not a perfectionist. Keeping a steady hand was hard, and smoothing things out without undoing her work was trickier than expected.

She kept at it though. Well past her normal bedtime, she stayed up trying again and again until she received the results she wanted.

In the morning her face felt tender, but she went through the motions of applying it before she left the house that day.

She had thought to keep it simple—to try for a natural look, but who knew a natural look had so many hidden steps?

Himeko fiddled with her skort hem, wondering if it was too short or not. She felt over-exposed without her stockings, but she wanted to change things up.

She took the train out to her aunt's gym and met up with Shōyō who was waiting outside for her.

His eyes widened when he saw. "Huh? Himeko?"

Himeko stiffened. She nervously asked, "Yes?"

"You were cute before but now you're a different kind of cute," he blurted.

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

At once both of their faces did a convincing strawberry impression. Himeko reflexively looked away, trying to resist the urge to bury her face in her hands. She didn't want to smear her makeup but oh gosh she wanted to hide.

დ

On the last week of summer break, Himeko felt happier than she had been in a long time. Even though she had to say goodbye to her dad, there was a genuine sense of hope for the future. She was looking forward to her new school life. She was looking forward to playing with her friend.

Heck, she was looking forward to making new friends! Something she wouldn't have even considered the previous year.

She met up with Shōyō early in the morning to help him practice his serves—he really wanted to do jump serves after seeing Tetsuya do one. The two always met outside her aunt's gym. Sometimes they would go to the convenience store to get a drink, or sometimes they'd go for a walk if it was too nice of a day to be inside.

Shōyō even let Himeko ride his bike downhill!

"Good morning!" Himeko greeted as soon as she spotted Shōyō.

"Good morning!" he said cheerfully, rushing over to meet her. "Did you eat yet?"

"No, but I brought a granola," she said.

"Then want to grab breakfast first?" he asked. He grinned. "My mom gave me cash to get breakfast here—told me to try out one of the local shops."

"Oh that sounds great, let's do it." As Himeko pulled out her phone to Google what was nearby, she got a text message.

Her heart skipped a beat, her stomach dropped. She paled, adrenaline shooting through her as cold anxiety snatched her in its claws.

Shōyō noticed the change in demeanor immediately. With concern, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Oh um, one of my friends is trying to contact me," she whispered. Her head felt like it was filled with helium. "I don't know if I should respond."

"Why not?"

"He's... a mutual friend with someone I... I'm trying to not talk to right now."

"Ehh? Did you get into a fight?" Shōyō tilted his head. "I can't picture that at all, you're so nice."

"No, no," Himeko said quietly, struggling to find her voice. Her throat was too tight. "Not a fight, exactly, but... I'm kind of... running away from him?"

"Huh? Did he hurt you?"

Himiko pursed her lips, uncertain how to answer that. "Not... yes... but not... intentionally. I, um, used to—"

Still do. It can't just go away overnight.

"—really like this boy."

"Did you get rejected?" Shōyō frowned, scratching his cheek.

Himeko let out a soft, bitter laugh. "I'd have to be brave enough to confess in the first place. It w-wasn't like some grand confrontation where I was outright r-rejected. It was... the build-up of a lot of things over a long time."

She lowered her phone, losing her voice. It took her several painfully long seconds before her throat loosened up enough for her to continue.

"What finally br—what finally hur—"

She took a deep breath.

"I realized that he had a life without me, a really n-nice one at that. But I didn't have a life without him. I just..." she curled her lip back in a self-deprecating sneer. "Pitied myself. I was pathetic. I hated it. Hated how my whole world revolved around one person and that person didn't even feel the same."

She closed her eyes, shame prickling at her.

"Stupid right? Completely and totally stupid."

Shōyō placed a warm hand on her shoulder.

"I don't think so. You weren't happy about it, but you're trying to do something to fix it now, right? I don't think that's stupid." Shōyō smiled at her. He said encouragingly, "You'll have an even better life now!"

She smiled faintly at that. The words sounded nice, even if her heart didn't fully believe it.

He squeezed her shoulder. "So a friend of that boy is reaching out to you?"

"Yeah. I haven't told them I'm going to Karasuno, or that I've moved in with my aunt and uncle."

"You should," he said. "Ignoring them won't make you feel any better."

"Mm..." Himeko clutched at her phone. "I... I should... I just..."

Shōyō offered his hand, smiling at her. "If you're scared, you can hold my hand."

Himeko's eyes burned. A slight tremble passed through her. She slowly accepted his hand, feeling how warm it was.

It's okay, Himeko thought to herself. I have a friend right beside me.

With one hand squeezing Shōyō's, she used her other to open the messages.

[Hajime Iwaizumi]

Hajime: Hime

Hajime: u ok?

Hajime: I saw moving trucks at ur place omw to practice

Himeko: Hi.

Hajime: u ok?

Himeko: I'm not going to Aoba.

Hajime: did u flunk the exam? it's ok, we can get together and prep for the make up.

Himeko: No. To tell you the truth, I don't think I can go to Aoba.

Hajime: everything ok?

Himeko: Not yet. I'm sorry for taking so long to tell you this

Himeko: The truth is

Himeko: ...

Hajime: hime i think i know what this is about.

Hajime: i get it

Hajime: just don't go no contact again ok?

Hajime: we're still friends even if he's an ass.

Himeko: :)

Himeko: Yeah. I'm sorry, you're right.

Hajime: im here if u need me

Himeko: I'm really sorry

Hajime: :)

Hajime: it's ok.

Hajime: can we talk tonight?

Himeko: Yes. What time do you get off practice?

Hajime: can i call at 8?

Himeko: yes

Hajime: k

With a sigh of relief, Himeko put her phone away.

"All better?" Shōyō asked.

"Yeah," she said honestly, her legs weak with relief. "I—I—thank you. I hate—I hate disappointing—"

Shōyō squeezed her hand once. "He's your friend, right? Friends understand. Now come on, let's get some breakfast."

"I don't think I can eat just yet," she whispered.

"Hmm... then let's do something new!" Shōyō grinned. "Today—"

"Nothing gross!"

"Today let's see how fast you can chug ten cans of milk tea," Shōyō cheered.

"What?!"

"No thinking—just doing!" he laughed, tugging her along as he ran to the convenience store. "C'mon, I'll chug with you!"

დ

Shōyō and Hajime are good friends.

Answer: Dancing seems like fun.

Question: What's a hobby / activity you've wanted to try but haven't for whatever reason?

Reviews are love!