Slow & Steady

The question leaves your lips before you can stop it. You have heard the rumours of what happened, but you've never heard Yoongi ever clarifying what you've heard about his history with his ex.

A rueful smile shows up on his face. "If only I could just say that things simply didn't work out between us," he says with a bitter chuckle. Before you could ask him to explain, Yoongi continues to spill the details.

"I thought that we had some kind of a mutual understanding. What I had with Bora—it all started from an arrangement we had at the beginning of our relationship," he says, and when he sees you raising your eyebrows in a silent question, he quickly adds, "No, it wasn't anything like our arrangement. It was more similar to what I had with my previous dates; we had something to offer for each other, a mutual benefit to share by dating publicly. Dating me helped boost her career in film and modelling, and having her by my side helped form a good image for me to represent in public. The only difference was that the relationship I had with Bora, despite it being some kind of a front like the others, continued behind closed doors, as we promised to exclusively share our bed during the term of our relationship."

Yes, it was quite similar to the arrangement you have with Yoongi. Similar, but not exactly the same. It was more like friends with benefits, or an exclusive fling with a formal label to put on as she could openly claim to be Yoongi's girlfriend.

"But she wanted more," you muse softly, to which Yoongi concurs with a nod.

"She wanted everything. Our arrangement had a time limit, and she wanted forever. It was something that I couldn't promise her at the time, as marriage was something that was never part of my plan when I was focusing on proving myself as I slowly started getting involved in the family business." Shaking his head, Yoongi lets out a bitter chuckle as he recalls how everything came to a head. "When she realised I was never going to give her what she wanted, she went ahead to publicly claim that I was planning to marry her, thinking that I would actually do it just to save face."

You remember hearing the news at the time, but you barely paid any attention to the rumours then. By that time, you were away from the big city, dedicating your life to building your own wine business empire, and you had lost contact with Yoongi for years already that everything you ever heard about him only came to you through the media.

As you listen to his story, the sudden urge to give him comfort overcomes you, that you find yourself leaning in to hold him close. Thankfully, Yoongi simply smiles and tightens his hold around your waist as he continues his story.

"Once she found out that her tactic didn't work, and that I broke our arrangement and ended our relationship instead, she immediately turned to my brother," Yoongi chuckles bitterly. "I have no idea how that came to be because I wasn't talking to my brother when she suddenly started showing up as his partner. The only thing I came to realise was that her true goal was never simply about marrying me, but it was more about gaining my family's fortune through me, so I immediately distanced myself from them."

You can feel the heat of resentment coming out of his body as Yoongi clenches his jaw, a sense of bitterness seems to fill his mind as he thinks about the fallen relationship. Biting your lip, you try to swallow the questions lingering in your head right now. Yoongi has frequently claimed that there was nothing special about his past relationship, nothing for you to worry about, and that he has moved on long ago. He may have hinted that whatever he had with Bora was never anything special, even before he revealed the truth about their relationship, and he has every right to still feel anger for the betrayal he experienced back then from his former lover and his older brother.

But seeing his reaction now only makes you wonder. "Did you—" You stop yourself before you could ask him the question now lingering in your mind.

You've promised that his past relationship wouldn't matter. You've told yourself time and time again that you wouldn't care. And you shouldn't be so curious to dig deeper. It's not like you have any right to insert yourself in any part of his history with that woman.

You shouldn't.

But, still—

"Did you love her?"

Yoongi's eyes grow wide for a brief moment when he hears your question, and they immediately soften when he smiles. "No," he answers you with ease, "There wasn't anything like that. I felt nothing more than physical attraction, only enough to keep me paying attention to her and not have my eyes wander."

He lets out a chuckle when he sees you rolling your eyes. "I think, there were moments that I thought I felt something deeper. But it's hard to tell when I had nothing to compare it with, because I never fell for anyone before," he says, shrugging lightly. "Except for the silly crush I once had for someone when I was a child."

"You had a crush on someone when you were a kid?" you playfully ask him with a smile. "Was it a first crush, then? I wonder who the lucky girl was."

A dark glint flickers through Yoongi's gaze when he softly laughs. "I'm afraid I might have to keep that little secret to myself for a little while longer," he teases with a low growl before he leans closer, "although you are making it hard for me to keep secrets when you keep looking at me with those sweet, distracting eyes of yours."

You roll your eyes at him and scoff, though you are also unable to hold back your smile when you feel the flutter in your chest rising because of his teasing.

But the moment you look away, the voice in your head starts to take over again. You start thinking about the recent happenings involving Bora, her words from that night echoing in your head while you repeat everything that Yoongi had just told you about his history with Bora.

"Do you think—" You bite your lips, feeling unsure to continue, but the need to find the answers to your question feels stronger, so you cannot resist asking him, "Do you think that maybe Bora loved you?"

Hearing this, Yoongi laughs. "Oh, no. I highly doubt it," he scoffs. "The only thing that woman loves besides herself is money."

You lift your face, expecting to see anger or hatred in his eyes as Yoongi speaks about his ex. But the moment you look into his eyes, the only thing you see is indifference. "That was all she wanted from me. The fact that she couldn't get what she wanted and that I broke things off with her had possibly hurt her pride, too. That's why she couldn't take it that I've moved on."

"But—" You shake your head to try to stop thinking about this—about Bora—but the sense of unease in your stomach is still weighing down on you.

You keep telling yourself that this has nothing to do with your personal feelings, but more because you want to make sure that nothing from his past will come back and get in your way of gaining what you need from this marriage arrangement. You keep denying that your curiosity comes from your personal need, and it gives you the reason to learn more about the deal with his ex.

"Had she ever done something similar to what she did on our engagement ball?" you finally ask him, "I'm talking about when you started dating around with those other women after your break-up. Did Bora ever come back and involve herself in your personal business back then, too?"

Once those questions leave your lips, you slowly realise just how ridiculous it sounds. It seems unfeasible for someone like Bora, who is known to have a huge pride about keeping her image in public, to be acting like the jilted ex-girlfriend and stalking Yoongi around after what happened. At least, even with the little information you had gotten about her, you never would've thought that she would ever try to chase Yoongi back after years had passed.

But her appearance at the ball has shown you otherwise, and you were terribly unprepared to handle it when it happened. You convince yourself that it was the reason why you need to learn more about what is going on between Yoongi and Bora—it's to make sure that you will be prepared the next time she ever tries to come into the picture once again.

After thinking about it for a moment, Yoongi slowly shakes his head. "No, not even once. After our breakup, and then the fallout surrounding my brother's case, she went quiet for a while. She was called in as a witness in brother's court hearing and then quietly stepped back from the spotlight for a couple of years before she finally got back in modelling again," he cautiously explains, "I kept an eye on her for a while after I started going back into the dating scene, expecting her to suddenly start some kind of drama to get her back in my favours, but she never did."

"Until she heard that you were getting married."

Yoongi nods, a heavy sigh slips out of his lips when he shakes his head again. "I thought for sure that she was never going to show up in my life again, so imagine my surprise when she suddenly appeared at the ball. You weren't there when it happened, and I tried to pull her away before she could make a scene and get her out of the property before anyone found out, but you still managed to catch me while I was still trying to handle things."

The uneasiness you felt starts to take root in your chest. Yoongi may have been right about Bora's true goal of getting into Yoongi's pockets, but there is still a nagging thought in your head telling you that there was something else. Something is going on behind the scenes which led her to act desperate the moment Yoongi publicly announced he was getting married to you.

"Maybe she finally realised the finality of your relationship truly ending the moment she heard you were tying the knots," you muse absentmindedly, trying to think of her reasons to do something so reckless. "She probably knew that whatever arrangement you had with your other exes, none of them would be permanent, since she was once in their shoes. But it was different once you were making things official, and you immediately let the whole world know about it."

Because that only meant that the game had changed. And she had lost the very last chance she ever had of getting the golden ticket that she spent years trying to secure.

"Maybe you're right," he scoffs. "But there's no need for either of us to worry about her. She's long gone, and she's once again gone quiet after we officially tied the knot, so I'm quite sure she'll know to stay away from us instead of trying to start trouble."

But is that true? Will she really step back and give up now that Yoongi has clearly shown no sign of giving in and turning back to what they once had?

Biting your lips, you try to shake away the uneasiness still weighing heavily inside you. No matter how hard you keep telling yourself that it's none of your business, that you should leave things in Yoongi's hands—as long as that woman steers clear of your path—and that you shouldn't let something so insignificant bother you, your mind just won't shut up. You cannot help but wonder if there is something more happening, and Bora's desperate attempt to reel Yoongi back in meant that there was something else that she wanted to gain.

"Stop doing that," Yoongi's low growl snaps you out of your running thoughts.

"What?"

You look up, noticing how his gaze has turned darker as he looks down on your lips. Everything feels intense; his gaze, the gentle rumble coming out of his chest, his heavy breathing—they all steal away your words, and it's making you feel antsy and hyperaware to be under his scrutiny. Stifling back a moan, you absentmindedly catch your bottom lip under your teeth once again, which only draws Yoongi's attention further.

"This," he whispers with a strained voice. You feel the hand that he has on your waist tightening its grip, just as he releases your hand so he can tip your chin with his fingers. His gaze is locked on your lips as he gently grazes a thumb across them, releasing your swollen lip from its bind. "And I genuinely thought your eyes were the only things that could keep distracting me from thinking clearly tonight."

You lick your lips, and another low growl slips out of his lips. "You have no idea how much I've been holding back from kissing those lips," he admits with a low voice that almost sounds like a deep growl when he continues speaking, "The more you keep doing that, the harder it is for me to hold back from doing it."

Warmth flushes across your cheeks when you finally understand what he is trying to say, and the uneasiness you feel is quickly replaced by the soft flutters that you genuinely welcome back. "Why do you have to stop yourself from doing it?" you challenge him, and then you deliberately grab your bottom lip with your teeth once again, testing his patience.

Yoongi leans down slowly, his face inching closer to yours. Your breath catches in your throat, your heart pounding so loudly that you are beginning to worry that he might even be able to hear it. His warm breath fans across your lips, a faint scent of wine and whisky wafting across you, flirting with you to have a taste. Looking up at him from this close distance, you can distinguish the shade of his eyes that appear lighter when you look at them from this angle, and they seem to swirl with an intensity that makes your knees weak.

With his hold on your waist, Yoongi pulls you until you are pressed against his chest. You can feel the rapid thrum of his heartbeat as his lips descend on yours in urgent need, his passionate kiss filled with heat the moment he lets go of any bit of restraint he still has left.

Trailing your hands up his chest, you reach up to cup the back of his neck, and then your fingers find their way through his soft locks. You weave your delicate fingers through the soft strands of his hair to pull him even closer as you start kissing him back, your lips melting and moulding against his. The searing kiss burns hot, sending a wave of bliss down your body that you easily melt into his embrace, and you slowly let go of control, the same way he is finally giving himself in completely.

You moan into the kiss when you feel the heat rushing towards your center, and the kiss comes to an abrupt stop. Yoongi pulls away with a low groan, his chest vibrating with every deep, ragged breath he takes. You open your eyes, forcing yourself to look at him through the haze that has taken over you, only to notice how he is lost in his own daze. His gaze keeps flickering between your eyes, and then your lips. His mouth falls open, yet no words are spoken. There are only the magnetic sparks exploding all around you that make your head spin.

"Yoongi—"

"You need to stop me," he whispers breathlessly as he leans back in, his lips grazing gently against yours. "I won't be able to stop myself."

Gnawing at your lips, you muster the strength to look up and meet his gaze. "What if I don't want you to stop?"

Yoongi clenches his jaw and curses under his breath. With a low grunt, he unwraps his arm from around your waist and turns on his heels, but not before wrapping his hand around yours. With a steady hold on your more delicate hand, he rushes out of the gazebo. His long strides of footsteps are firm and steady as he steals you away from your romantic dinner, pulling you along with him as he marches his way back to the honeymoon cabin.