Moving Forward

— Present day —

Time seems to move forward rather quickly right after the engagement ball.

After the whole incident involving your fiancé's ex-girlfriend's sudden appearance at the ball, you had expected to hear rumours spreading about it within the community.

At first, you had hopes that nobody would have caught on to what had happened, seeing that Yoongi's encounter with his ex happened outside of the venue and quite far away from the guests. That was until you learned that there was a small group of guests strolling not too far away as people were starting to filter out of the venue during that time, and Yoongi's shouting match may have reached them before you came to intervene.

The following days after the event, you spent a lot of time socialising with other colleagues and peers from the community, often hanging out with a few groups of socialites that you have become familiar with to spread the news of your upcoming wedding. You kept your eyes and ears open to listen to the gossip and the topics that people would bring up whether or not you were in the room with them, all while browsing through the internet to find anything that was said about your engagement ball.

Yet you heard nothing about the incident. Not a single speculation was made about your relationship with Yoongi after all the drama that came up that night.

In fact, other topics kept coming up each time anyone would talk about your engagement ball. Either those shared through the gossip mill or the social media posts made about your ball.

The final dance you had with Yoongi had been one of the things that people kept talking about, with people gushing about how romantic that moment was, and how Min Yoongi was showing a new side of him that most people had never seen before.

The other thing that people had been talking about was the kiss that you shared with Yoongi at the end of the dance.

Every time that moment was brought up, your cheeks would start burning hot. Yet it pleased you that Yoongi's action—as impulsive as it was—of kissing you on the dance floor had managed to quell any possible rumour that may have spread after the incident.

Even now, when you think about it, that moment feels like a dream. You never expected that Yoongi would make such a move in public. You still have no idea whether he did it as a form of damage control, or if it had been instigated by your sudden move, when you had shown him some form of affection while he was troubled.

This continued for the rest of the week right after the engagement ball and then the next one, until the high from the lavish event began to wane and the gossip slowly died down, as it was quickly replaced by another juicy gossip which appeared within the community, and your eventful night was soon left—mostly—forgotten.

While everyone seems to be moving on with life, and with new gossip to talk about, you are left with no other choice but to move forward with your life. The weeks that follow have been filled with the long, busy process of preparing for your wedding day and officially registering your marriage. And the days simply blend together until the big day finally arrives.

And that day is today.

Your wedding day.

You have pictured your big day for a long time, with many different scenarios playing in your head each time. But never once had you ever imagined that it would involve changing partners and having a different man as your groom, nor to have so many people paying close attention to your nuptials.

From the moment you first accepted Yoongi's proposal, to the morning of your wedding day, it seems like you are simply going through the motions until everything is set in place. Everything still doesn't seem real, until the moment you find yourself standing right in front of the mirror, looking at yourself wearing your wedding dress. That is when reality finally begins to sink in.

Within a few hours, you are going to be married. It seems surreal to be in this moment, to know that your life is about to change soon.

"Deep breaths," you keep whispering to yourself as you keep looking at your reflection in the mirror, as if coaxing yourself to find some sense of calmness, while your hands keep clenching at your sides as you try your best to stop them from trembling.

"You'll be fine," your cousin, who is also one of your bridesmaids, Maya, reassures you as she carefully straightens the trains of your skirt. "Although, I'm not sure I can say the same about the groom," she adds with a giggle as she meets your gaze through the mirror, "He might get stunned once he sees you. Let's just hope he won't stutter when reciting his vows while admiring your looks."

You roll your eyes. "I doubt that Min Yoongi would ever stutter in any condition whatsoever."

She laughs. "Hey, you never know. Everyone saw how smitten he was during the engagement ball. He'll love what he sees, I guarantee you," she says, winking, completely confident with her words.

You have to admit that her comment helps lighten your mood a little. Laughing and smiling with her—while being the receiving end of her constant praises—helps put some of your edginess and your shoulders feel a bit lighter.

"Thanks for reassuring me," you whisper to her with a smile.

"Anytime. Now, let me get ready and make sure the others are too. I'll be back to fetch you when it's time to walk out." She leaves the room right after to check on the rest of the bridesmaids, letting you be alone with your thoughts for a moment.

Yet, your moment of peace and silence doesn't linger, as it is quickly taken away from you the moment your mother steps into the room.

Seeing her standing by the doorway, your shoulders grow tense. You weren't exactly ready to face her, not now, and not when you are alone, but you know that there is no avoiding this. Swallowing hard, you turn to her with a stiff smile.

"Mom."

Your mother shows little to no emotion as she walks deeper into the dressing room to get closer to you. She has her gaze locked on you, and for a moment, you can almost see a glimmer of tears in her eyes as she stands right beneath the light. Though you aren't too sure if the look she gives you is one that comes from her sadness and grief, or her silent joy.

Before you can read her expression, she simply blinks it away and reaches forward. Her dainty fingers begin to brush over the invisible creases on your skirt, while she runs her gaze up and down your dress, from the neckline to the trim waist and down to the hemline, perusing your look with a subtle smile on her face. She looks up to examine your hair and makeup for a brief moment and nods, as if giving her approval for the work that has been done to you, before handing you the flower bouquet that your bridesmaids have prepared for you.

"You look beautiful," she says with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. It hurts to see the melancholy in her eyes which never fades even when she smiles, but something about it feels different this time. Aside from sadness, you see some longing in her gaze as she continues to look at you.

A moment passes between you. Then, "I've pictured this moment for so long. To see my daughter in her wedding dress, waiting for the moment her father walks her down the aisle to be handed to her groom," she says with a sigh, a warm smile on her face—the smile that you have loved to see ever since you were a little girl—while she reaches out to brush the trail of hair hanging down your cheek.

With gentle hands, she turns you back to face the full body mirror, and then reaches down to her purse to pull out a necklace. The moment your mother carefully drapes it on your skin, the white crystal pendant hanging on a white gold chain settling right between your collarbones, you immediately recognise it.

"You remember this, don't you?" your mother asks as she gently clasps the chain together with a smile. "You used to ask me about this when you were little, and I promised that one day, I would be the one to put it on you on your wedding day. Just like how my mother did it for me on mine, and how your great-grandmother did the same on your grandmother's wedding day. And now it's your turn to have it."

Tears fill your eyes, yet you blink them away before they can fall and ruin your makeup. Once your mother is done, she steps back, placing her hands on your upper arms as she looks at your reflection in the mirror one last time.

"Seeing you wearing it now makes it seem real, at least," she suddenly says, and the warmth that she has brought in you immediately gets sucked out of you.

"What do you mean?"

Your mother presses her lips. "This sham of a marriage isn't really what I had envisioned for you, but it is what it is, I suppose," she says with a bitter scoff, and you can feel that bitterness sinking in your chest.

"Mom, please—" You turn to face your mother to reason with her, yet her expression is closed off, and you know that whatever you say to her will never be able to change the way she looks at the arrangement you have made with Yoongi.

Ignoring your effort to speak, your mother moves closer, resting her palms on your arms as she leans in to press gentle kisses on both of your cheeks. "Don't disappoint me, _______," she whispers before pulling away, "I know you'll make us proud."

She wears her usual smile on her face when he finally steps away from you, leaving you no chance to say another word as she turns away and walks out the door.

Your mother's short visit only leaves you feeling even more anxious than before. Any reassurance that you have gained before turns into agitation. Your chest feels tight, and you start finding it hard to breathe. You feel as if the room is closing in on you, pressing against you without giving you a chance to escape.

Drifting away from the mirror, you drop yourself onto the settee near the window, still holding your flower bouquet in one hand and clenching the train of your skirt with the other. For the first time ever since the moment you dove straight into this entire arrangement with Yoongi, you begin to feel like you are no longer in control of everything.

You feel helpless. Clueless. Afraid.

You have never once envisioned having a fairy tale wedding or living in an unworldly type of marriage that you have read in those romance novels you enjoy so much. Not even then, when you were engaged to the man who you had once declared your love to, and mostly not now, when your admission of love comes in the form of signed contracts. But as you sit by the window, still feeling the shivers that your mother's remarks and disproval had caused you, the life ahead of you suddenly seems uncertain. It makes you feel as if you are about to walk into a long, dark tunnel, with no promise of a way out with lights welcoming you on the other end. And you are not sure if you are ready to deal with it.

To deal with a new life filled with secrecy and distrust.

Too much, you wonder to yourself as you try your best to breathe, unable to handle reality once it begins to sink in. This is all too much. I'm not strong enough for this.

A gentle knock on the door reels you back in from your swirling thoughts, right before you are drawn further down into darkness. Blinking away your unshed tears, you focus on breathing, gathering your composure before you can face whoever is standing on the other side of the door.

"Yes? Is it time?"

Expecting to have one of your cousins or bridesmaids coming back to help you get ready, you nearly jump in shock when a familiar deep voice speaks instead.

"It's me."

Your heart stutters at his voice. You breathe a sigh of relief, surprised to find how calming his voice feels. But your silence seems to worry him when he calmly speaks again, "Are you all right?"

A smile creeps its way to your face.

Does he really have to do this?

You have been wondering about this for a while now, always questioning his intentions each time he shows you this side of him. Each time he acts as if he truly cares about you.

"You do know that it's a bad omen for the bride and groom to meet right before the wedding ceremony, don't you?"

The sound of Yoongi's deep chuckle is muffled by the door, yet still sounds close enough to let you know that he is leaning against it. You close your eyes, briefly picturing him leaning back against the door as he speaks to you. "That's why I'm out here, standing on the other side of the door instead of stepping inside. Pretty sure they said not to meet directly face to face until it's time," he calmly says with a soft chuckle, adding, "I know it's true. I just googled it."

Yoongi's comment makes you laugh, lifting a bit more of the weight that you are carrying from your shoulders. "Why did you come to see me, then? I mean, why are you there, standing out the door to talk to me, when you're supposed to be getting ready?"

Silence falls for a brief moment. "I never planned to," you hear him answering with a sigh, followed by a light chuckle. "I got my shirt on, and decided to stroll around the halls before putting my suit on and start heading to the main hall. I might have gotten a bit lost. Then I found my way to this hallway and saw your mother."

Your breath hitches, but you say nothing. "She was walking out of the room and didn't notice me coming from the other end of the hall," he continues, "I don't know her too well, but there was something about the expression I saw on her face which made me feel like I should come over—no, I need to come and see how you are doing."

"I'm fine," your answer comes out before your mind can process it. A practised response to hide your troubled mind which has been ingrained in you for many years.

But you can tell that your voice has easily given you away, when there was not a hint of credence in it when you spoke.

And you can tell that Yoongi can sense the same thing when he falls silent. You hate not knowing what is going through his mind right now, and you hate feeling vulnerable and exposed, even if he cannot see you directly. Right as you try to speak to appease him, Yoongi speaks to you first,

"Do you remember back in 8th grade? Our class held a theatre performance during the school's annual talent show, and the teacher made us all act out The Prince and The Pauper." You can almost hear the smile in his voice when he carries on, "You were chosen to play as the Prince, while I—who couldn't memorise any line from the screenplay as much as my life depended on it—was made to play a talking tree."

Your gaze snaps towards the door. Your heartbeat starts picking up as he brings back a memory from the past. A time that you shared when you were kids.

How could he possibly remember?

"I remember."

You hear a soft hum coming from him before he continues, "They positioned me near the side of the stage, close to the wing entrance where the performers were supposed to come out from. It was the perfect spot for me to be, if you can tell. I could see everything clearly from where I was—the stage and the backstage area, and even the audience—without people seeing me buried under my costume."

He lets out a soft chuckle, drawing a smile to your face. "I remember looking over to the backstage area just right before your first scene came up, sitting not too far from me, hidden behind the costumes. You had your hands clasped together on your lap, but I could tell how nervous you were when I saw your hands trembling."

You bite your lip when you remember that moment. "Right. And you asked me if I was okay."

He hums. "You convinced me that you were doing all right. But I knew better."

The memory returns to you as clear as day. Tears begin to involuntarily fill your eyes as you recall what happened.

"You calmed me down." A deep sigh escapes you when the image of young Yoongi, hidden inside his tree costume, started whispering towards you until he managed to grab your attention.

"Pssst, ______. Look here," you remember him saying this then, and your heart flutters when his words from back then come back to you, "Everything's going to be okay, I promise. If you forget your lines or your cues, just look at me here. I have the script right here."

You cannot help but smile at the thought of that moment, when you saw Yoongi looking at you with a wide grin on his face as he slyly raised his hand, waving the script that he had hidden inside his costume. You can still remember looking at him during your scenes, only you were looking at him not with the purpose of asking him to secretly read the lines for you, but simply to look into his assuring eyes and get glimpses of his gummy smile which helped you gain more courage to perform on stage.

"The moment I saw your mother, the way she looked and how she briskly walked away from the room, I couldn't help but remember that moment," Yoongi adds with a gentle voice, "I cannot help but imagine you sitting in this room, all by yourself, with your hands clasped together on your lap as you try to keep it together."

You look down and realise with gasp that he is right. This is how you have been sitting after your mother stepped away; with your hands clasped together on your lap, the same way they did many years ago.

"Everything's going to be okay, _____," Yoongi gently says to you from the other side of the door, "I promise you that everything will be all right as we continue forward. You will be safe, ______. You know you can trust me."

Your throat feels tight as you listen to his words. Once again, your eyes are filled with tears. But you blink them away and swallow the tightness you feel rising from your chest as the heaviness you felt slowly wanes, replaced by a new feeling of hope, warmth, and courage. Everything that you need to go forward with this.

It is the same feeling that he helped you find when he reassured you during your performance on the stage that day, with him standing on the side, cheering you on and watching you closely until the final bow.

"Thank you, Yoongi."

In the silence that follows, all you can feel is a sense of calmness. Peace. And for some reason, you can tell that he can feel it too. The soft chuckle you hear from him gives you a mental image of the stoic man lowering his face to hide his smile, the same way he does whenever you compliment him.

"Anytime, ______," he says to you with a gentle voice, right before he steps away. "I'll wait for you at the altar."