tyler is completely in josh's arms when his eyes flutter open in the morning, as if he'd had a bad dream and mistook tyler for a teddy bear. both his scent and warmth overwhelm josh's senses, his brain still groggy with sleep but easily registering the feeling of their bodies pressed together.

tyler's face is buried in his chest, the top of his head tucked beneath his chin, fingers relaxed over the wrinkled fabric of josh's shirt. josh's one arm is flat on the bed, positioned beneath tyler's head, and the other drapes over his waist. he tilts his head down to meet tyler's hair. soft, tousled strands tickle the tip of his nose as he inhales deeply.

there's a certain stillness to the air, a bittersweet stagnant weight that envelopes both of them.

josh sighs heavily, the hand draped over tyler's waist absentmindedly trailing to the hem of his shirt, slowly pushing the fabric up to expose a patch of his smooth skin. he runs the tips of his fingers across tyler's bare side, his touch slow and comforting. it's borderline affectionate.

he wishes he could freeze this moment and live in it forever. him and tyler laid up beneath the same sheets, no obligation to put on a performance for either of them. with tyler asleep against him, josh doesn't have to worry about doing or saying the wrong thing. he doesn't have to pretend like the depth of his feelings don't go beyond carnal.

with tyler's guard completely down, unconsciously curled up against his friend, his usual apprehension is nowhere to be found. he's far off in dreamland, unbeknownst to the way one of his legs is hiked up over josh's thigh, effectively trapping him there.

josh could settle for this—some unspoken thing that neither of them addresses—if it meant he could hold tyler like this whenever he wanted. he'd be happy with any crumb he could get, but tyler's blatant indifference towards him and his feelings is disheartening. the highs josh experiences with him are so high, but the lows he experiences at even the whisper of rejection are so low. he's constantly in a state of whiplash.

if his feelings had been so obvious to chris, how does tyler have no idea? josh had thought he was much more reserved around chris than when he's with tyler alone. is tyler really that oblivious? of course, maybe he's just choosing not to see what he doesn't want to see.

wouldn't that be worse, though, if tyler knew about josh's feelings yet acted ignorant and continued sleeping with him? josh doesn't really know. at this point, he's so deep into it, he would take tyler in whatever way he gives himself.

josh exhales slowly, his fingertips raising further beneath tyler's shirt, ghosting over his ribs as he slowly trails circles over his warm skin. his lips twitch at the way tyler's fists tighten around his shirt for a brief moment, listening to the content sigh he breathes and the consequent low hum that follows.

"josh."

the man in question holds his breath as tyler shifts against him, nuzzling himself further into josh's arms. his hips buck forward to meet josh's, drawn to him like a magnet of opposite polarity. warmth spreads throughout josh's body, his hand lowers from tyler's side down to grip the thigh that's strewn across him.

he'd already been half-hard from morning wood, but all it takes is feeling tyler's stiff erection against his own before josh is ready to cave.

"tyler," he murmurs, squeezing the soft flesh of his thigh, not really sure if he's even fully conscious.

the heat radiating from both of them remains trapped beneath josh's thick comforter, his skin already dampening with perspiration. tyler mutters a muffled response from where his face is hidden in josh's shirt.

"can't hear you," josh informs, his tone low but gentle. his hand lowers to the hem of tyler's borrowed shorts, slipping beneath them and gently kneading the outside of his thigh.

tyler huffs, retreating from the safety of josh's embrace just enough to look up at him.

his eyelids droop, heavy with sleep, but josh can make out his pupils—twice the size as usual. his hair is unruly, one side sticking up while the other side is completely flat against his head. josh's heart warms at the sight, his cheeks quickly flushing to match the soft shade pink of tyler's. their gaze meets as tyler mumbles, "'m so horny."

"i can tell," josh chuckles, pressing his hips back against tyler's as if to say i can feel how hard you are.

he notices the way tyler's breath catches in his throat, and he loses his own breath when tyler bucks against him again. this time it's followed by the faintest, smallest whimper. "josh..."

"have a good dream or something?" josh asks curiously, his hand sliding from tyler's thigh up to his hip.

tyler's grip tightens around his shirt, throat bobbing as he swallows. his gaze remains fixed on him. "not about you," he responds, his voice still hoarse from sleep. it sounds like he's trying to assure himself more than josh.

"mhm." josh smirks at that, carefully brushing a few stray strands off tyler's forehead. he gently eases his fingers through his messy hair, letting his hand come to a stop at the back of his head. "i didn't say anything about me. good to know i'm on your mind, though."

"sh-shut up," tyler grumbles, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of josh's hand raking over his head, gently scratching his scalp.

they stay like that for a moment, hips flush together, josh lazily rubbing his head. after a few beats of silence, tyler's eyes open again. their faces rest so close together, all josh has to do is lean in a few inches to kiss him. he refrains, however, focusing every ounce of his self-control into not closing the gap between them.

tyler's hand lowers between them, his palm settling over josh's erection as if he couldn't feel it against his own. "you're hard too," he comments, the corner of his lips curling upwards.

he's insufferable. the look on his face is torturous. josh wants to fuck the arrogance out of him.

"obviously," he mutters, failing miserably at coming up with a witty remark. his fingers tighten around tyler's hair as he begins lazily palming him through his clothes. his chest rises with a sharp inhale. "tyler..."

"fuck," tyler whispers, stopping to glance over his shoulder. "gotta get my phone."

all too suddenly, tyler is pulling away from him and tossing the blankets off them. josh groans in protest as the comforting warmth is replaced by a wave of cold. it shocks his system, waking him up fully. he sits up as tyler does, his dick still achingly hard as he watches tyler tap around on his phone.

the warm glow of the rising sun filters through the blinds, every inch of the room covered in a gentle white light. under the dim radiance of morning, tyler looks... heavenly. angelic. like he's too good for this earth, and especially like he's too good for josh.

he keeps this thought to himself as tyler turns towards him, offering his phone. he raises an eyebrow, hesitantly grabbing the device. the camera is already open but not recording. the screen reflects josh's flustered appearance. "what am i supposed to do with this?"

"don't have the tripod," tyler replies. he settles on the bed, sitting criss-cross beside josh. his tongue darts between his lips. "s'okay?"

it's not. it's kind of annoying that tyler expects him to hold the camera when he couldn't give less of a shit about it. he'd rather toss it aside and be able to focus both hands on him. what's he supposed to do, anyway, with one of his hands preoccupied?

"uh, sure." josh clears his throat, heart stalling in his chest as tyler gives him a sly grin. his hands rest on josh's knees.

"don't worry. can't expect you to do much with one hand. c'mere."

tyler slides off the bed, lowering to his knees and patting the edge. josh obliges, quickly scooting over to the edge of the bed. tyler perches between his legs, his hands resting in his lap as he looks up at josh, the faintest of smiles etched on his lips.

without giving it much thought, josh switches to the back camera and begins recording tyler between his legs. his other hand reaches around, index finger tucking beneath his chin as his thumb tugs at tyler's lower lip.

"pretty boy," he murmurs, gently pinching the plush flesh between his thumb and index finger. he chuckles at the bright red that tinges the tips of tyler's ears. "mhm. look at you. these pretty lips."

"wan' make you feel good," tyler purrs, his hands slowly trailing up josh's inner thighs, pushing his legs open further.

josh's breath hitches in his throat as tyler's fingers lightly brush against his clothed erection. he captures his jaw between his fingers, turning tyler's gaze up towards the camera, admiring how pretty he looks on screen. "gonna be a good boy for me first?"

"mhm," tyler nods, eyes all wide and innocent as if he's not the biggest sinner on this planet. he stares directly into the camera where josh watches, annoyed with himself for focusing so intently on the screen when the real thing is in front of him.

josh holds the camera out of his line of sight as he slowly pushes his index finger between tyler's lips, tyler's eyes now trained on him for real. it knocks all the breath out of his lungs as he watches his finger sink into tyler's mouth, feeling the warm, wet heat envelope him.

his other fingers firmly grip his jaw as josh also adds his middle finger, burying now both of the digits inside tyler's mouth. tyler takes them all the way down to the knuckle, only gagging around them when josh curls them down his throat.

"look at that," josh praises, his gaze flickering to the screen to make sure tyler's still on camera. "so good for me."

tyler hums around his fingers, his eyes briefly fluttering shut before he's back to looking at josh again. he looks borderline pornographic; his eyes half-lidded, drool dribbling down his chin as josh pumps his fingers in and out of his mouth. "takin' it so well, baby. just what you're made for, hm?"

tyler groans lowly in response, fighting against the urge to gag every time josh buries his fingers down his throat. josh thinks he looks perfect like this, all flushed and panting, eager to take whatever he gives him. he's better than anything he could ever ask for.

"y'can handle it, yeah?" josh asks, removing his fingers from between tyler's lips. a trail of spit connects the two, and josh reels at the sight.

"yes," tyler nods, not bothering to wipe the spit from his chin. "wanna taste you."

josh brings his fingers up to his own lips, inserting the same two that had just been inside tyler's mouth. he laps at them for a moment before pulling them out slowly, sucking the saliva from them, grinning at the way tyler's jaw drops at the sight.

"josh..."

they're far past the point of caring about using each other's names at this point. they've both already done it enough times to feel comfortable. maybe it's stupid, but josh's dick twitches at the way he practically moans his name.

"go on, ty," he urges, bucking his hips forward slightly.

tyler's fingers dip below the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers. josh leans back on one hand, watching on the screen as he lifts his hips off the bed, allowing tyler to peel them off. the second they're out of the way, tyler's hand closes around the base of his shaft.

josh hisses in response, watching the way tyler spits a glob of saliva over his tip and admires how it glistens as it slowly falls down his length. tyler catches it in his palm, slicking it over josh's dick, coating him in it.

he looks to josh then, all lashes and rosy cheeks, dipping down to take the tip in his mouth.

"fuck," josh exhales shakily, watching through the phone for a moment before his eyes flitter back to tyler. his free hand runs through his hair, settling at the back of his head.

tyler takes him further, his cherry lips gliding with ease over josh's flushed cock. he strokes whatever he can't fit down his throat in time with his mouth. his other hand settles on josh's inner thigh, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb against the skin.

josh doesn't really mean to grab a fistful of his hair and push tyler's mouth further down his cock, but the low moan that tyler hums around him certainly makes him do it again. and again. and again.

it's only a matter of moments until both of tyler's hands on either of josh's thighs, submitting himself completely, letting him use tyler's mouth however he so pleases.

his fist is tightened around the hair at the base of tyler's skull, using it as leverage to fuck his mouth over his cock. he tries to take it easy, not make him choke too much, but it's nearly impossible as that familiar wave of pleasure begins to burn like hot pricks deep in his stomach.

"oh my fucking god," josh gasps, fighting to keep his eyes on tyler rather than letting them roll back in his head. "so fucking good, baby. i- fuck."

his self-restraint crumbles. he pushes tyler's mouth to the base of his cock, completely buried in his throat. the tip of tyler's nose brushes against his pelvis, while the tip of josh's dick hits the back of his throat. tyler gags around him, his throat tightening around just josh perfectly before he lets tyler up for air.

he's barely even had time to take a breath before josh is lowering his mouth back on him again, desperately chasing the searing pleasure that washes over him.

"ty, i- oh, fuck. gonna- i'm gonna- oh my god."

this time, it's tyler's own doing as he takes the entirety of josh down his throat again, nails digging into his thighs. josh moans as tyler gags around him, once again feeling his throat tighten. he practically sees stars, the pleasure rushing straight to his head.

the fire in his abdomen is white-hot until, finally, he's cumming down tyler's throat without any further warning. his hips stutter, body shuddering softly as he releases, his hand sliding from tyler's hair to caress his face.

tyler keeps his lips wrapped around josh until he's sure he's finished. he swallows josh's cum, carelessly wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. he's almost as breathless as josh, both of their chests heaving as they gasp for air.

"fuck," tyler croaks, voice wrecked and raspy. he looks eagerly up at josh, and the latter can't help but chuckle at the sight of him. he knows exactly what he wants.

"did such a good job, baby," he croons, rubbing his thumb over tyler's cheekbone. their smiles match as tyler leans into his touch. "so proud of you. such a good boy. my good boy."

tyler whines at that, his grip on josh's thighs tightening. "j... 'm so hard. it hurts."

"aw," josh coos, feigning sympathy. "my poor baby. need me to make it better? want me to make you feel good?"

"mhm," tyler pouts, lowering his hand to palm himself through his layers. "please?"

josh caves instantly, not wanting to keep his hands off any longer. "okay. come up here."

tyler obliges, crawling back up onto the bed. josh directs him to sit against the headboard, pushing a pillow out of the way. "shorts off."

"both?" tyler checks, thumb hooking beneath both layers of clothing.

"mhm," josh nods, breath hitching as tyler wriggles out of them, his leaking cock springing out to rest against his stomach. "good boy."

he absolutely loses it at the way tyler blushes like a shy school girl, his lips curled into a timid half-smile. precum drips down the bright red head of his cock, inviting josh in for a taste. he inhales deeply, keeping the camera focused on tyler. "spread your legs."

tyler does such, watching curiously as josh sits between his legs facing him. he throws his legs over top of tyler's thighs, pinning them to the bed, hooking his feet around his back. he'd rather go down on him, but the idea of tyler holding a camera in his face makes him uneasy. it's not a big deal when the focus is on tyler or even both of them at once, but the thought of all attention being directed at him fills josh with anxiety.

he holds his hand to tyler's mouth. "spit."

again, tyler follows josh's orders, and again, josh praises him. "such a good boy."

"josh," he whines, hands gripping at the sheets below him. his hips buck off the bed, searching for relief. "please."

"what?" josh teases, "can't tell you what a good boy you are?"

tyler huffs in frustration, groaning at josh. "n-no, you can, i just- god, i need you to touch me so bad. so bad, j. please. 'm so hard for you." the words spill out of him without any thought, just a mindless babble.

"yeah?" josh urges, tucking his lower lip between his teeth and smiling around it. "so hard for me? is that right?"

"yes," tyler whines, only growing more desperate by the second, writhing beneath josh. "so fucking hard for you. only you. please. need it so bad."

josh can't hold out any longer. he needs to hear tyler's pretty sounds, needs to make him come undone.

"such a good boy. so pretty like this, all worked up for me," josh murmurs, finally lowering his spit-slicked palm to tyler's cock. he softly wraps his hand around his length, gaze flickering between the phone and tyler's face as his jaw drops.

"o-oh god," he gasps, his breath shuddering as josh slowly spreads the saliva over his cock. his hips instinctively buck upwards in response, josh's hand fisting over his length. "fuck. s'good. feels so good, j."

"you like that?" josh grins, eating up every soft noise and string of curse words tyler lets out.

he strokes his cock in time with tyler thrusting up into his palm, curling his wrist just enough to where tyler is completely blissed out. head back, eyes shut, jaw slack, stomach quivering with every whimper. "yes, love it. don't- fuck- don't stop. so good."

josh swears under his breath, his gaze focused intently on tyler, watching the way he falls apart a bit more with every passing moment. he continues his ministrations, still annoyed that one of his hands is occupied by tyler's phone.

he wants to wrap his fingers around his throat. wants to twist his nipple between his fingers. shit, he even just wants to caress his cheek and whisper sweet nothings to him.

"i can't- josh, i- fuck-" tyler pants heavily, leaning back on his palms as his thrusts grow more sloppy and staggered.

josh gets the hint, keeping a steady pace as he strokes tyler's dick. "yeah? you close, baby? feels so good, huh? gonna cum, aren't you?"

all tyler can manage is a high-pitched, "josh!", his eyes screwed shut. his hips stall completely, chest heaving as he tries his hardest to breathe through the electricity dancing through his stomach.

"that's it, ty. that's a good boy. doesn't it feel so good? you gonna cum for me? want you to cum, baby," josh coaxes, leaning forward to spit on tyler's dick again, slicking it further, allowing his hand to glide more easily.

"fuck!" tyler squeaks, his back arching towards josh. "i'm gonna-"

"let it out, baby," he urges, focused entirely on the way tyler's face contorts in pleasure as he spills over onto josh's hand and his own stomach. josh works him through his climax, only stopping once he's sure he's milked him completely dry.

tyler leans back against the headboard, totally overwhelmed and disoriented. he's panting heavily, his eyes half-open and unfocused as they rest on josh.

josh's heart melts at the sight of him, wanting nothing more than to wrap him back up in his arms and fall back asleep. he ends the video, setting tyler's phone aside so he can cup his jaw in both hands. "y'good?"

"mhm," he hums, a lazy grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. he blindly reaches for josh, his fingers tightening around his shirt. "so good. can't 'member the last time i came that hard. 'm tired now."

josh chuckles at that, fighting back against the urge to lean in and kiss the hell out of him right now. he stands instead, not trusting himself to not act on impulse. he retrieves a towel from the bathroom and runs it under warm water from the sink, bringing it back to carefully clean tyler up.

he tosses the towel in the laundry basket before handing his shorts back to tyler, watching with a small smile as he shuffles back into them commando style. josh decides to do the same, opting to go boxerless as he slides on his sweatpants. of course, he would have preferred to crawl back in bed completely naked with tyler and cuddle that way, but that surely crossed some stupid boundary.

as josh settles back into bed and pulls the blankets back overtop of then, he's relieved that tyler nestles himself beneath josh's arm and against his side. his head rests on josh's shoulder, one arm draped across his stomach. josh hums in response, pulling tyler tighter against him.

"josh?" he asks softly, yawning a second after.

"yeah?"

"only cuz 'm so tired. and you're so warm. s'aftercare."

josh feels bile raise in the back of his throat. he quickly swallows it down, inhaling deeply in a lame attempt to ease the suffocating pressure in his chest.

"yeah," he mutters. "it's just aftercare."

tyler hums in agreement. "goin' back to bed now. night."

"goodnight," josh whispers, soothing a hand through his hair.

it doesn't take long for tyler to relax against him and fully slip back into unconsciousness. but josh is awake now, couldn't fall back asleep even if he wanted to.

the sun is too bright.

the cars outside are too loud.

he's sick to his stomach.

and his heart hurts so much.