josh is in the middle of eating dinner when his phone vibrates. he tells himself that it's not like he's been purposely ignoring tyler ever since they kissed, but part of him knows deep down that it's fully intentional. trying to create space between them. trying to push tyler away. trying to hit a nerve just right so that tyler is the one to break things off, and josh can feel absolved of all responsibility and just go back to harboring his feelings.

besides, it's not like they haven't talked at all. it's just been a few days since they've seen each other. josh has been using work as an excuse for why he's been so busy, but tyler isn't stupid. he has his schedule memorized. he knows damn well josh is sitting at home right now doing nothing.

you home from work yet?

josh reads the text on his lock screen, debating just pretending like he didn't see it. he could be doing anything right now. tyler has no idea. it's not really lying if josh just ignores him, even though he feels like an addict going through aching withdrawal at how badly his body craves tyler's presence.

joshuaaaa pls

his chest physically hurts. he knows tyler doesn't deserve to be ignored, but he's sick of lying to him. he just doesn't know what to do anymore at this point.

i miss you

lucky for tyler, josh is weak. he gives in to temptation and, god, is tyler tempting.

hi ty

he's not quite sure what else to say. his palms are already sweating.

j!! hi!! i miss you

the soft blow that hits josh in the gut sends a shockwave of butterflies soaring behind his ribcage and into his heart. he smiles at the screen like an idiot, now completely disregarding his half-empty pasta bowl on the coffee table as he leans back on the couch.

i miss you too :) sorry i've been so busy

dw about it idc

i just want you to come over

fuck. why did he even answer? he should've known tyler was going to want to see him. what's he supposed to say now?

lol i just started making dinner

guilt gnaws at his stomach. he's lying again.

please josh

i need you

the breath gets knocked right out of his lungs, his eyes widening slightly as he rereads the message over and over again.

"i need you"

his sweatshorts tighten, slightly constricting his growing hard-on as his eyes glaze over the words. it's as if, suddenly, all of josh's anxiety is out the door and arousal has made itself at home.

he needs tyler too. bad.

what's the point in even hiding it anymore? all josh is accomplishing in ignoring tyler is making himself feel more crazy than he already does. he needs him more now than he ever has before.

need me?

josh plays dumb on the off chance he's getting the wrong impression.

mhm

so bad, j

please

okay, their minds are definitely in the same place.

josh runs a hand through his messy curls, exhaling a steady breath as his pulse drums in his ears. is he really about to do this? chris would probably tell him he's an idiot. he never has to find out, though.

how bad?

so fucking bad

i can't take it

neither can josh. it's been too long since they've had sex. he's all pent up. he feels like he could come just from reading a few fucking words on a screen.

tell me what you need

fuck i just need you j

need to feel your hands on me

need you to help me feel good

please come over i need you so bad

josh's half-eaten pasta is still sitting on his coffee table when he's rushing out the front door, shoes unlaced and all.

i'm on my way

do not touch yourself

it takes him three tries to get the key in the ignition because his fingers are trembling so much. he feels like a dumbass for letting his resolve crumble so easily, but his dick is doing all the thinking.

yes daddy

josh is fortunate to not have already started down the road because he would have swerved into oncoming traffic at that. without a doubt. it's pathetic how agonizingly hard he is already.

go to your room and set up the camera

wait for me on the bed

and you better not touch yourself

like every other time, josh doesn't really give a shit about the camera, but he'll be damned if he breaks another one of tyler's rules. and, admittedly, the last time they were together without a camera on them josh freaked the fuck out, so it's probably better this way.

he doesn't wait for another response before he's on his way. all he can think about the entire drive is how good it's going to feel when he can finally get his hands on tyler again. how badly he wants to sink his teeth into his skin. how he wants to reduce him to a babbling, whimpering mess.

by the time he gets there, josh is so hard he's resorted to palming himself through his shorts to try and get some sort of relief. it only helps a little. his hands are too calloused, too rough. it's tyler's delicate, soft touch that he needs.

for as eager as he is, josh creaks tyler's front door open slowly, letting the sound reverberate through the house. it shuts firmly behind him, signaling his arrival.

all he wants is to sprint upstairs and pin tyler beneath him, but no. he'll take his time. leave him waiting. it's the least of what he deserves for thinking he needed to go home with ian instead of josh the other night.

he takes his time when toeing off his unlaced shoes and checking his phone. funnily enough, the only text he has is from chris asking what he's up to. if he only knew.

josh trudges upstairs slowly, every other wooden step creaking beneath his feet. a sly grin makes its way to his face, taking pleasure in the knowledge that tyler is probably dying with anticipation, listening to josh grow closer.

he pauses outside the bedroom, lifting his hand to the knob and pressing his ear against the door. when all he's met with is silence, josh takes a deep breath and opens the door.

he nearly passes out at the sight of tyler at the edge of his bed, sitting on his thighs, wearing nothing but a pair of gray boxer briefs. his eyes wide with desperation, usually a soft shade of brown but now nearly black as his pupils grow at the sight of josh.

josh leans against the door as he closes it, his mouth watering at the sight of tyler's dick straining against his boxers, a wet spot darkening the fabric. his hands are sandwiched between his thighs as if he couldn't refrain from relieving himself otherwise.

"did you touch yourself?" josh has to ask. he's really not sure what he'll do if tyler's answer is yes, but he'll figure it out.

"mm-mm," tyler hums, shaking his head no, looking at josh as if he's expecting some sort of praise.

he's not going to get it.

josh approaches the bed, his eyes never leaving tyler's. he can't help but notice how his breathing grows quicker as they get closer. "i'm surprised."

tyler's head tilts to the side like a curious cat. "hm?"

"you're so desperate to get off all the time," josh sneers, the tone catching even him off guard. he'd cool it down a notch if it weren't for the way tyler tucks his lower lip between his teeth and inhales sharply like he's getting off on it. "i can't believe you could be patient enough to wait for me. surprised you didn't go running off to find someone else that'd fuck you like the whore you are."

"j..." tyler whispers, breathless, his cheeks flushed a shade of pink to match his lips.

"you don't get to call me that," josh tsks, slowly reaching out, curling his index finger beneath his chin and using his thumb to free tyler's bottom lip from his teeth. "only good boys do."

tyler responds with a weak, pathetic whine that makes josh's dick throb. he grins knowingly, feathering his thumb over the velvet skin of his lip. if tyler wants praise, he's going to have to earn it.

"daddy," he corrects himself, voice barely a murmur.

"mhm, that's better," josh approves. he glances over, finding the tripod tyler set up on the side of the bed. he's so good for doing what josh asked. instead of telling him this though, he just says, "so fucking desperate, aren't you? begging me to come over. needing me to touch you. come on, tell me. tell me what a needy little thing you are."

"yes," tyler squeaks as josh tightens the grip on his chin, babbling a bunch of nonsense to try and convince him to get things going. "wanted you here so bad. need you so bad. so bad. i- please. it hurts. need you to touch me, daddy. i can't, i- fuck. fuck. please. i'll do anything. just... please."

"anything?" josh repeats, swallowing thickly as he drags his thumb down tyler's lip, parting them slightly. he wants to kiss him so bad, it's taking every single ounce of self control to hold himself back. tyler nods slightly, his breath hitching as josh leans down and brushes the tips of their noses together. "guess you won't mind working for it then."

tyler whines, pulling his hands from between his thighs to tug on the hem of josh's shirt. he responds by grabbing the back of his collar and pulling it over his head, swiftly tossing it aside before cupping tyler's face again, studying him intently. everything about him reeks of desperation. "y'look so pretty like this, baby. all fucking worked up for me."

"need you," tyler insists. his hands find their way to josh's hips, squeezing gently as his thumbs rub over the waistband of his shorts. the sensation sends a shiver down his spine. it knocks the breath right out of his lungs. 

"god, you're gonna drive me crazy," he murmurs, tilting tyler's chin up towards him as he leans in again, watching the way tyler's tongue glides between his lips. "go on, ask me for it."

"kiss me."

josh's response is immediate, scooping him beneath the armpits and tossing him backwards on the bed. he crawls overtop of him, connecting their lips in a fraction of a second, urgency taking hold as they kiss fervently. 

the way josh's heart skips a beat is not lost on him, but he does his best to drown out the persistent anxiety by instead focusing on how amazing tyler's mouth feels, how he tastes, and how his skin burns where it's pressed against josh's. tyler lifts his hips to grind against him, the shuddering moan that escapes from his mouth into josh's making the latter feel dizzy. 

he's quick to lower a hand to tyler's hip, pinning it against the bed. he'll need to try harder than that if he wants to get off. 

tyler is the first to break the kiss, looking as if josh has offended him. "come on, already. i can't take it. it hurts," he whines, trying to lift his hips again but failing due to the tight grip josh has on him. "please. it's not fair."

"stop being a fucking brat," josh mutters, lowering his mouth to the spot on tyler's neck just below his jaw. he drags his top teeth over the sensitive area, gently biting down to nibble and suck on the skin between his teeth. he relishes in tyler's soft gasps and quiet moans before pulling away with a pop, sitting up a bit to look at him. "i told you. you want it that bad, you'll work for it."

tyler only whines in protest as josh pulls him by the hands to sit upright, watching in bewilderment as josh moves to lay down in the center of the bed, grabbing a pillow and tucking it beneath his head. "c'mere," he urges, beckoning tyler with his middle and ring finger. 

he straddles josh at the waist, the few layers of clothing between them bunching up where their cocks press together. one of josh's hands finds his hip, the other grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down for another kiss. as their lips work together sloppily, josh trails his hand from tyler's hip to his ass and guides him to roll his hips, his own erection growing painful and needing some sort of relief. 

tyler takes that as the sign that he can finally start chasing his own pleasure, insistently rutting himself against josh as if he were an animal in heat. josh can't help but chuckle, making tyler pull back just enough to frown at him, their foreheads resting together. 

"nothing," josh dismisses the confused look he receives. "s'just pathetic, s'all."

"feels good," tyler murmurs, his eyes screwing shut as he grinds their clothed cocks together. he very obviously blushes at josh's comment, but is too concerned with getting off to say anything else about it. 

"it'd feel a whole lot better if you took our clothes off."  

josh can't resist pecking his lips a few more times before he releases his grip from the back of tyler's neck, smirking at the way he eagerly tears his boxers off. so funny of him to think that josh isn't going to make him wait longer. 

tyler kneels between his legs, hurriedly stripping josh of his remaining layers. his cock springs free, tip flushed and glistening where it rests flat against his stomach. tyler moves to straddle him again, but josh quickly intervenes.

"ah, ah," he says, shaking his head as he leans down to caress tyler's cheek, lightly trailing his thumb over the cheekbone. he's ethereal. beautifully angelic. too perfect to be human. "y'look so pretty down there. right where you belong. y'wanna be a good boy for me, don't you?"

"yes, daddy," tyler murmurs, eyes wide and completely blank. too concerned with doing whatever josh wants to worry about anything else. josh feels stupid at how his heart flutters just from the sight of him. 

he rests back, tucking his hands behind his head to prop it up for a better view. "go on, then. show me," he insists.

josh is really just being selfish. his dick is so hard it's throbbing, and he can't take it anymore. tyler can wait a little longer. he's far too desperate for praise to seem to care, anyway, giving into josh immediately. he wraps long, slender fingers around the base of josh's dick, settling on his stomach as he takes him into his mouth.

he swallows a moan as he sinks into tyler's wet heat, ecstasy spreading deep in his stomach, liquid fire coursing through his veins. his head rushes with euphoria at the feeling of tyler's plush lips wrapped around him, his velvet tongue gliding along the veins at the underside of his cock.

it takes all his willpower not to take control and thrust further down his throat, lowering a hand to brush tyler's hair out of his eyes and caress the side of his head. his eyes raise to meet josh's as he sucks him off, causing his breath to hitch in his throat.

tyler truly is beautiful, in a way that takes josh's breath away every time he looks at him. his big, fawning eyes are like rich pools of chocolate, so deep and inviting that josh always finds himself drowning in their warmth. his nose is perfectly sculpted, sloping just so that josh finds himself thinking about how it would feel pressed against his own, fitting together like two pieces of the same puzzle. even his voice is perfect. it's soft and melodic like sweet honey.

josh is completely infatuated with him.

the obscene sounds of tyler gagging and choking around him bring him back down from whatever astral realm he just lost himself to. a shaky moan escapes him, his grip tightening around tyler's hair and pulling him off as a familiar heat pricks at his stomach, begging to be let out.

tyler is breathless, a trail of spit still connecting his mouth to the tip of josh's dick. he looks at josh expectantly, eyes full of hope. josh melts at the sight, almost feeling bad for denying tyler what he so badly craves. almost.

his words slur together like he's drunk off tyler's touch. "y'can do better'n that," he says, as if he didn't literally just ascend into another dimension. he caresses his cheek, cooing at the frustrated whine tyler emits. "poor baby. so mean of me to make you prove yourself, hm?"

tyler only nods, words failing him as he leans into josh's palm. josh has never seen him this dazed, his chest burning with a deep fondness. 

"yeah, i know," he speaks softly, stroking tyler's cheek. 

"please," tyler whispers, barely managing to find his voice. he looks like a sad puppy, his eyes glistening with tears. josh's heart melts at the sight. maybe he's tormented him enough.

"c'mere, baby," he urges, patting the spot beside him. tyler clumsily crawls over to sit by him, acting like his limbs are failing him. josh rolls onto his side to face him, gently spreading his legs open. he wraps his arm around one and places it beneath his head, resting his cheek against tyler's thigh as if it were a pillow. "lay back. lemme get you ready for me."

tyler obliges, leaning back on his elbows and watching josh through hooded eyes. his cock is furiously red and sticky with precum. josh pays little attention to that, though. he's more concerned with coating his fingers in spit and watching the way tyler reacts as he swirls a finger around his hole. he grips the bedsheets below him, a stray tear rolling down his cheek, lips parting in a high-pitched moan as josh slowly pushes inside him. 

"so pretty," josh murmurs, his gaze trained on tyler's face as he slowly buries his finger to the knuckle, watching every little reaction. "needed this so bad, huh?"

"mhm," tyler responds, panting as josh slowly twists his finger. "s'good. so good."

josh huffs a soft chuckle, slowly pumping his finger in and out. "think y'can handle more? i can barely wait to be inside you."

"yes," tyler breathes, squeezing his eyes shut as josh adds another digit, gently stretching him. "fuck. oh fuck."

"taking it so well," josh praises, grinning at the needy whimper he gets in response. such a sweet sound. he'd do anything to hear more of them. "doing so good. been so patient."

"j- j-" tyler stammers, cutting himself off with a flustered whine. "fuck, i-"

josh presses a soft kiss to the inside of his thigh, scissoring his fingers to stretch him further. his lips brush delicately against tyler's skin as he says, "s'okay. you can say it."

tyler's reply is instant. "josh, i- fuck. please. i want you. i need it. please. pleasepleaseplease. i'm ready. i can take it. please."

"okay," josh whispers, planting another kiss on his thigh before removing his fingers. he rolls onto his back, watching tyler take a deep breath to collect himself. "get the lube."

tyler nods, reaching across to the bedside table and pulling out a bottle from the drawer. he pauses, holding it in one hand and looking at josh as if he needs to be told what to do. 

"come on," josh laughs softly, enjoying the sight of him looking like a lost doe. "i'm not doing it for you. still have to work for it."

tyler responds with a soft exhale, opening the cap and pouring the clear substance into his palm. he closes the bottle and discards it somewhere on the bed, closing his fist around josh's length and spreading the cool lube over him. josh hums at the sensation, hips involuntarily bucking into his hand.

once he's fully coated, tyler wipes the remaining lube off his hand onto his own thigh before straddling josh's hips. his grabs hold of josh's dick, hovering above as he lines himself up. he looks to josh, waiting for permission.

"go on, baby," he nods, his hands coming to rest on tyler's thighs. "show me what a good boy you are."

tyler breathes shakily, slowly lowering himself onto his cock. he whines the whole way, sinking down until their skin is flush, one hand pressed firmly against josh's chest. a gravely moan escapes from the back of josh's throat, his fingers squeezing the soft flesh of tyler's thighs. they both remain still, tyler letting himself adjust while josh watches him.

"ty," he says quietly, shamelessly smiling at the way his eyes lazily trail to josh and focus in on him. "you okay?"

tyler's lips curl into a sloppy grin. "m'okay. s'already so good. dunno if i'll last long."

"s'okay. me neither, probably," josh admits, his heart leaping at the way tyler chuckles. 

tyler holds himself up against josh, both hands now pressed firmly over his pecs. he lifts himself off slowly until he reaches josh's tip, and then he lowers back down. such a slow, small action yet it fills josh's stomach with molten lava. they moan in sync, josh's hands moving to grip tyler's wrists, squeezing firmly as he begins to rock himself back on his cock. 

"feel good?" josh asks, his brain rushing with endorphins as tyler chooses to hold onto his hands instead of his chest, lacing their fingers together tightly.

"fuck," he whines in response. his nails dig into the backs of josh's hands as he repositions himself from his knees to the balls of his feet, giving him more leverage.

"doin' so good, baby. look at you. such a good boy."

"josh," tyler whimpers, his chest heaving as he fucks himself on him. "say it again."

"you're such a good boy," josh complies, letting out a breathy moan as tyler gets more rough, the sound of their smacking skin resonating throughout the room. "doin' such a good job. look so pretty doin' it, too. my good boy."

"josh," he repeats, this time punctuated by a loud whine. "oh my god. i- oh, fuck. touch me. please, please touch me."

tyler releases his hands and leans back, now holding himself up on josh's thighs as he continues riding him. josh is in no position to argue, feeling his climax quickly creeping up on him. he pats around for the bottle of lube, squirting a small amount into his palm once he finds it. 

he wraps a firm hand around tyler's cock, hurriedly stroking his length as the small flicker of a flame in his abdomen begins to burn hotter, growing into an inferno. tyler is completely in his own world, head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut as he glides over josh's cock, endless moans and high-pitched whines pouring from him.

he comes without any warning, probably too afraid josh would make him hold it to say anything. he coats both josh's hand and his stomach as he spills out, his body shuddering. he begins to slow down, but josh is just nearly there too and there's no way he's about to let tyler edge him. 

josh grips his hips firmly, holding him in place as he quickly thrusts up into him, mindlessly chasing his own release. tyler collapses on top of him, their skin sticking together with sweat and semen as josh fucks him relentlessly. when he finally climaxes, josh is a moaning, breathless wreck, and tyler is a whimpering mess. 

they lay together, josh still buried inside him as tyler rests his face in the crook of his neck. they're both quiet aside from their heavy breaths, and josh can't help but wonder what tyler's thinking about. 

that is, if he's thinking about anything at all. he might be too stupefied at the moment. josh can barely form a coherent thought himself, other than just tyler. maybe he's feeling the same. after all, he's not immediately pulling away like he usually does. 

"fuck," tyler sighs after a few more quiet moments, chuckling against josh's skin. "that was so good."

"hm, really? couldn't tell," josh responds, laughing at how tyler mutters for him to shut up. they're both quiet for a moment before josh's mouth is moving too fast for his brain. "did ian even make you come?"

he immediately regrets asking, his face burning in embarrassment. tyler lifts up, both hands at either side of josh's face holding himself up. he studies josh, a slight grin tugging at the corner of his lips. "what do you think?"

"i think that even if he did, nobody makes you come like i do," josh says, that all-too-familiar anxiety creeping back in. why does he feel like a shy school girl? why is his heart still beating so fast right now? "but no, i don't think so."

"you're right," is all tyler says, not clarifying which part exactly he's referring to. he sits up fully, wincing as he slowly lifts himself off josh's dick. 

josh can feel his hot come leaking out of him as it drips below onto his skin. he cringes at the feeling. "so...?"

"so... what?" tyler frowns, tilting his head. 

josh hesitates, sitting up on his elbows as he watches tyler climb out of bed, stretching with a pained groan. so, what? what exactly is he supposed to do now? what should he say? is there even anything? 

"nothing," he dismisses, muttering a thank you as tyler tosses him a towel. he cleans himself up, his heart sinking at the way tyler nonchalantly shrugs, either just oblivious or completely uncaring that something is clearly plaguing josh. 

"okay. i'm gonna shower. you can use the other one if you want. wanna watch something after?" tyler asks casually, turning off the camera. his back is to josh as he rummages through his dresser for a set of clothes. 

josh deflates like a balloon. how stupid of him to think this is anything more to tyler than just sex. it isn't. it never will be.

"no, i'm good. i think i'm just gonna go home." he stands with a sigh, unable to shake the heavy weight that settles over his heart. 

"oh." tyler glances over his shoulder at him, frowning slightly. "okay. are you sure? you don't have to go."

it's josh's turn to shrug now, forcing a smile as he responds. "yeah, it's fine. i'm kinda tired. just gonna go home and go to bed."

"it's just barely past eight," tyler points out. 

"wore me out, i guess." it's a lame excuse. josh knows it. he knows he's being weird, but he can't find it in him to care anymore. he pulls his clothes back on, barely even casting tyler a glance as he says, "see you later."

he leaves with that, disappointed that tyler doesn't try to stop him even though he knew he wouldn't. as he heads back to his car, josh can't help but feel disgusted with himself. not for sleeping with tyler because, god, that was some of the best sex he's ever had, but for letting himself feel some type of way over it.

what was he expecting? that he could fuck tyler into having feelings for him? 

he feels empty, like every last ounce of self-respect he had has vanished now. 

this all means so much more to him than it ever will to tyler.