a/n: no smut this chapter, don't sue me pls

it's been about a week since the last time josh hung out with tyler normally, no sex involved. as much as he loves their new dynamic, he's missing the times when they'd hang out just because they missed each other, not because they wanted to have sex. he needs that right now. he misses tyler more than he ever really has before, which is why he's invited him over to eat lunch and play video games.

tyler offered to pick up taco bell, and josh is never one to turn down nachos bellgrande and a baja blast. he feels inclined to pick up a little more than usual, although he can't really explain why. tyler's never complained on the days when his house is a bit messier, so he probably wouldn't now, but still. there's a first time for everything, and he'd rather that not be today.

should he light a candle or something, maybe? would that be weird? it's probably weird. why would he light a candle? he's never lit a candle just because tyler's coming over. it's just a candle, though. it smells good. so what if he lights a candle?

josh watches the small flame erupt from the wick, setting the lighter down beside the candle. he blinks silently, debating just blowing it out and forgetting about the whole thing. is tyler going to laugh at him because he lit a candle?

"fuck," he mutters to himself, turning his back on the candle to retrieve the nintendo switch controllers. who gives a shit about a stupid candle anyways? it's not that big of a deal. he's overthinking like always.

sitting on the couch, he rests his feet on the coffee table beside the flickering candle. he stares at it, letting himself reconsider blowing it out for only a moment before he draws his attention to the tv. he turns on the office, knowing tyler will want to watch something while they eat.

he's only a few minutes into the episode when he hears a car door shut outside, followed by some shuffling and tyler yelling his name from the other side of the door. josh is quick to scurry over and open it for him, breaking out in a large smile at the sight of his friend.

he has a bag of taco bell in one hand, a large baja blast in the other, and another drink sandwiched between his forearm and his chest. a backwards hat rests on his head, concealing the messy brown locks josh loves twisting his fingers in. basketball shorts fall just above his knee, and his shirt... josh has been missing that shirt for weeks!

"why are you wearing my shirt?" josh wonders aloud, stepping aside to let him in. "i wondered where that went."

"you don't remember letting me borrow it?" tyler asks, toeing off his vans and leaving them beside the door.

"nope," josh admits, shamelessly letting his eyes roam over tyler's body as he leads them into the living room. he looks better in that shirt than josh ever has. josh feels almost... prideful? proud that it's his shirt tyler is wearing? something like that. weird.

"last time i was over, i was in the middle of drinking a milkshake and you made me laugh so hard i coughed it up all over myself," tyler explains, grinning as he retells the story.

"ohhh, right. i do remember that. i guess i forgot i told you to go grab one of my shirts. it looks good on you." he immediately regrets that last part, but tyler doesn't even acknowledge it.

he shrugs, setting the food and drinks on the coffee table. "smells good in here."

"candle," josh replies, pointing at it. his stomach gets a strange fluttery feeling. that had been why he wanted to light it, wasn't it? to please tyler? why else would he feel so happy with himself right now?

the younger hums in response, taking a seat on his spot of the couch while josh joins on the other side of him. tyler divvies the food from the bag, his nose scrunching at the sight of josh's nachos.

"gross," he comments, unwrapping his chalupa. "it should be a crime to eat tomatoes. anybody who grows or consumes them gets life in prison."

"it would be like prohibition but with tomatoes," josh says. he picks up a chip and holds it in front of tyler's face, laughing at the way he pretends to gag before stuffing it in his mouth. "there'd be speakeasies but for food with tomatoes and bootleggers sneaking them into the country or secretly growing them in their basements."

tyler scoffs. "i think you're severely overestimating how much people like tomatoes. there's a big different between tomatoes and alcohol. tomato-holics are not a thing."

"what do you mean? you're talking to one right now."

tyler laughs, so josh does too. this feels right, this is good. it's their normal banter, even if josh is really fighting the urge to grab tyler's face and kiss his lips raw. kissing him might be even better than fucking him. the only thing that puts sex ahead of kissing is that josh can watch all the little faces he makes when he pleasures him. that's better than the sex itself, and it's honestly what josh cares about most—making tyler feel good and seeing the way his body responds. tyler can act as nonchalant and indifferent as he wants, but his body can't lie.

"stop looking at me," tyler teases. the corner of his lips raise in a smug smirk before he grabs his cup from the table, taking the plastic straw between his teeth.

josh didn't even realize he was staring. he blinks a few times, watching those full, pink lips curl around the straw before finally tearing his gaze away. he pretends to be interested in the show, but really he's trying to get his heart rate to slow down. why is his heart beating so fast, anyway? why does he love and hate that he can feel tyler's eyes on him? why does he feel so weird?

"you're looking at me now," he points out, not daring to look in tyler's direction as he picks at his nachos.

tyler is quiet for a moment. "you're just weird," he responds eventually, bringing his legs in to sit criss-cross, his bare knee resting against the outside of josh's thigh. the contact makes josh's skin burn and his pulse pound loudly in his ears. he doesn't understand why his body is reacting as if he has some sort of fucking crush on tyler or something, because he doesn't. it has to just be because his body is expecting them to fuck. that has to be it. he thinks about kissing tyler and fucking him so much that it's just messing with his head and affecting his ability to function normally.

"you're weird," josh counters, forcing a smile through the anxiety burning his throat. he sets his half-eaten nachos aside, no longer hungry.

with josh's lap no longer occupied, tyler shifts to rest his calves over the older's thighs. josh tenses slightly, swallowing thickly as his eyes lower to his bare legs. hesitantly, he lowers his sweaty palms to tyler's legs, squeezing them gently. it's not unusual for them to sit like this, touching in some way or another, but it just feels different now. at least, it's different for josh now. does tyler feel different about it too? is he just doing it to make it seem like things are normal between them? are things normal between them?

"you okay?" tyler asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"what?" josh's eyes meet his briefly, before the tension between them forces his gaze back on the tv. "yeah. i- what? i'm fine."

tyler clicks his tongue. "you're being weird."

"no i'm not," josh argues, knowing damn well he's only being weird because tyler is making him feel weird.

"if you don't want me to-"

"i do," josh interrupts, tightening his grip on tyler's legs possessively, not wanting him to move. "just... shut up. you're talking too much. wanna play super smash bros?" he redirects, hoping tyler won't comment on his behavior any further.

josh can feel his eyes boring into the side of his skull. "okay," tyler agrees after an awkwardly long pause.

letting out the breath he didn't know he was holding, josh grabs the controllers from the table, grateful for the excuse to distract themselves. he hands one to tyler, the tips of their fingers brushing as he takes it. the brief contact is oddly comforting and sends warmth to josh's chest.

he couldn't care less about which character to play with or which stage to pick. in all honesty, all he wants is to lay with tyler, to hold him, to feel his smooth skin. it's all he can think about even as tyler's character is beating the shit out of his and tyler is laughing maniacally beside him. josh usually wins, they both know this, but he can't find it in him to care about anything other than the way tyler sounds when he curses under his breath.

"you suck," he taunts, sending josh's character flying off the screen for the second time.

josh's response is immediate. "you swallow."

"josh!" tyler gasps, one hand leaving the controller so he can shove josh's shoulder. "that is not funny."

"it's kinda funny." josh looks away from the screen only long enough to look at the expression on tyler's face, finding him blushing bright red and his lips pursed in concentration. he grins at that, admiring the rosy hue of his cheeks, similar to the color of his lips.

tyler shakes his head, muttering something to himself, button-mashing so hard josh would think he wouldn't know what he was doing if they hadn't played at least one hundred times before. he plays every fighting game like that. one time he told josh it was because fighting games require no skill, only button-mashing. josh didn't have the heart to point out that if that was true, he wouldn't lose as often as he did.

"you're just mad that i'm winning," tyler counters, sitting up straighter, twisting his upper body to face the television while his legs remain firm in josh's lap. "besides, you swallow too."

josh grins, resting his forearms across tyler's shins. "never said i didn't. and who said i'm not just letting you win?"

"letting me win?" tyler scoffs. "you never let me win. you can just admit that i'm kicking your ass."

tyler has only beat him a handful of times, and they were all times when josh genuinely felt bad and stopped trying so hard so he could win. he doesn't tell him that, though. "whatever. there's no world where you're kicking my ass."

"um, yeah. it's this world. right now. it's happening." as if on cue, josh's character gets sent off the screen for the third time. "see?"

"shut up," josh mutters, only growing more frustrated with each hit his character takes. he's not trying to lose this time, but his thoughts are too focused on tyler and not on the game.

"make me."

josh freezes mid-attack, casting tyler a side-eyed glance. tyler meets his stare, face red, lips parted slightly as they twitch into a lopsided smile, having no idea the effect those two simple words have on josh. he so desperately wants to make tyler shut up right now, to pin him down and kiss him, but he won't let himself. this is just supposed to be a normal hangout with his best friend. god, why is his heart racing right now? why does it feel like he can't catch his breath? how is he supposed to even respond to that?

before he can even try, tyler says, "hm, guess you can't."

"don't fuck with me, tyler," josh warns in a low voice.

"or else what, j?" he challenges, grinning smugly. "what're you gonna do about it?"

josh feels like he's failing whatever test tyler is trying to give him. does he want josh to kiss him just as badly right now? is that what he's trying to accomplish here? unfortunately, josh is not the best at picking up on signals, so he has no idea. he sets his jaw, refraining from saying what he really wants to do to him and settling for, "i'll kill you."

"kill me?" tyler repeats, mouth open in shock as he laughs. "that is not what i expected you to say. you would never kill me."

"what makes you think that? i might if you keep tormenting me," josh says, his eyes shifting to his lap as tyler's legs slide off of him.

he sits up straight beside josh, pressing their bare knees together and nudging his shoulder into josh's. "because you love me too much," he says casually, but it makes josh's heart stop beating for a moment. "torment you? i'm not tormenting you."

he has no idea. josh feels like he's going to explode any second now. he kinda wishes that he would just so he wouldn't have to deal with the strange feeling in his stomach. yeah, he loves tyler, but not like that. surely that's not what tyler was suggesting... right? no, they're just friends. best friends. the kind of best friends that have sex with each other sometimes, but still just best friends. of course he meant love in the best friend way. of course. josh's brain overcomplicates things too much.

"whatever," he dismisses, not really wanting to respond to either of those things. he groans as tyler's character knocks his off the stage for the final time, ending the game. "i actually can't stand you sometimes."

tyler snickers, lifting one leg over josh's and slotting it between his thighs. admittedly, tyler's being even more clingy than usual. josh is used to him always needing to be in contact with him in some way, but this is a lot. it's borderline intimate. does tyler think so, too? or is josh the only one viewing their relationship through a different lens now that they've had sex? should it feel as intimate as it does? is there something wrong with him?

"yeah, okay. i love you too, j."

josh's throat tightens inexplicably at the words, feeling as if he's just had the wind knocked out of him. he forces a chuckle, setting his controller aside so he can wipe his sweaty palms on his shirt. why is he so hot, anyway? why can't he stop thinking about kissing tyler? and why do those three words feel so different now?

we're just friends, he reminds himself.

just friends.