Dear Diary,

             We made our way back to California while hitting music venues on the way there, and by the end of the week, we rolled into Las Vegas. Everyone wanted to hit the casinos, so as one big chaotic group, we explored the strip. Bright neon signs flickered, and despite it being late, the sidewalks were crowded with people frivolously consuming their sins. Salespeople in slick suits stood on every corner, tempting tourists to eat dinner at their hotels, buy tickets for extravagant shows, and gamble at their tables.

It was like a carnival on acid as showgirls walked past in sparkling leotards with headdresses crowning their flowing hair in white, fluffy feathers. They looked like angels on parade with their long, toned legs gliding across the pavement in glittery heels for whatever show they were late for.

But no matter how exciting it was, Rodrigo always had a way of ruining things. He was on a bender of drinking, smoking, and sniffing coke with Dave. I wanted to escape him, but the worst was yet to come as Melody, and I played the slot machines in Caesar Palace while the band sat at poker tables. Despite our differences, she was my only ally, so I ignored her betrayal as I smiled at her side and giggled over our amateur gambling abilities. 

"My sweet thing." Rodrigo looped his arm around me. "I got you a drink."

"I've already got one." I wiggled the soda in my hand and added quarters to the sparkly machine.

"This one has booze."

"I don't want any."

"Baby, this is Vegas. Have some fun."

"I am having fun."

"What's with you?" He eyed me, his combat boots shifting on the red swirls of the carpet, the flesh of his knees showing through the tears in his jeans. "You used to get wasted along with me, and now, it's like you look down your nose at it."

"Maybe because you do enough for the both of us," I muttered and cranked the machine.

"What did you say!" Rodrigo jerked my chin toward him.

"Hey, hey..." Melody shoved her arm between us, wedging us apart. "Take it easy."

"Fuck you, Melody. I'm talking to my wife."

"I'm aware." She ran her pink manicured nail down his chest and to his hand, plucking the drink from him. "Relax, baby. All you have to do is ask nicely. Right, Carmela?"

"Yeah, sure." I furrowed my brows as she passed it to me.

"Take a sip, baby doll."

"But I don't—"

"Shh..." She pressed her finger to my mouth. "Let's have a little fun. Now sip."

Rodrigo glared from over her shoulder. So I brought the plastic cup to my lips, but Melody pressed her fingers against the bottom, holding it in place and forcing me to keep drinking. When it was gone, she pulled the cup away and pecked my lips.

"Good girl. Now, are you satisfied, Rodrigo?" She turned to him.

"Yes."

"Great. Now go back to your poker playing with Leo and the guys."

"Don't let her out of your sight."

"Relax," Melody purred, grabbing him by the chin and nipping his lips. "I won't let anything bad happen to your sweet thing."

There was a flicker of hunger in his eyes as he stared at her, but then his gaze flashed to me. "Las Vegas can be a dangerous place, so stick by Melody's side. We should be done with our poker game in an hour, and then we'll head back to the hotel, ok?"

"Fine."

"I love you, baby." He cupped his hand around my head, and I tried not to recoil as he kissed me. "See you soon."

He seemed satisfied after I flashed a smile at him, so I returned to the slot machine and continued gambling. As I cranked the lever, my attention shifted to Ben's tall frame and a few roadies moving behind a row of slot machines. He was beginning to spend less time with the band as if he wanted to get away from Rodrigo. They had been friends for six years and created the band together, but now it was as if they performed with one another out of obligation.

Ben's green eyes landed on mine. It didn't matter how deep in a crowd I stood. He always found me as if our souls were magnets. There was the slightest lift at the corners of his mouth, causing a flutter in my stomach. The word, mine, popped into my thoughts. But as usual, he kept his distance while watchful eyes were present. So we'd steal glances now and then—and have a conversation through our gazes, in a language only we understood.

After a while, my forehead was sweaty, and I couldn't entirely focus on the screen of the bright slot machine. Colors melted down as if it was oozing rainbows. I rubbed my eyes between pulling the lever, blinking and blinking, my fingers tingling.

"Melody..." I swallowed. "Is it just me, or is it sweltering in here?"

"No, it's kind of cold. Why?" When she glanced at me, her eyes narrowed, and she pressed her palm to my forehead. "Oh, honey, you must be running a fever."

"Why are you yelling!" I batted her hand away.

"I'm not..."

The pulse in my neck drummed, and my eyes darted to the ceiling, which rippled to the beat of the music playing. "Why is it doing that?"

"Doing what, honey?"

"That!" I pointed as music notes shaped like shiny metallic bubbles began squeezing out of the overhead speakers. "Don't you see?"

"No, sweetheart. I don't."

"The music. You don't see it?" I searched the ceiling, my finger extending to pop the bubbles. Then, one by one, they burst and shattered into smaller music notes. "Make it stop!"

"Stop what?"

"Please!" I scrubbed my arms, ridding them of the music notes crawling on my arms like spiders. "Get them off! I don't like this song."

"Sweety... Did you take something?"

"What do you mean?" I blinked, but her pink hoop earrings vibrated with a whomp, whomp so loud I had to cover my ears. "Turn it off!"

"The drink." She furrowed her brows. "Rodrigo must have put something in it."

"What's wrong?" Ben approaches us.

The colors in the casino blended when I whirled around as if someone grabbed a brush and smeared the white marbled walls to mix with the neons of the slot machines—creating one fucked up Bob Ross painting. I closed my eyes, but it was too much and intensified the thumping in my chest. Ben cupped my face, and the sensation of his touch caused my eyes to pop open, but there was too much happening all around me. The fine fibers in the red carpet swayed against my ankles like cornstalks in a field, tickling me. Ben tried steadying my face, but my attention darted everywhere, taking in the colors and sounds.

"Carmela, focus on me."

"Your hands." I smiled, stroking his fingers. "How do you do that? It's like I can feel your skin melting into mine."

"Carmela, what did you take?"

"It was Rodrigo," Melody said. "I think he put something in her drink."

"What?" I spun to face her.

 Melody's lips moved, but all I could hear were her loud hoop earrings, and with each breath I took, it was as if my lungs were expanding to the size of hot air balloons.

"It's too much," I clutched my chest.

"What's too much?" Melody asked.

"I can't breathe. It's too much to inhale."

"I'm gonna kill him..." Ben said, his eyes searching the casino floor. "Where the fuck is he!"

"Poker table."

Ben had never moved so fast as he weaved between the slot machines, shoving people aside and heading straight for Rodrigo. Band members looked up from their cards, their eyes curious as he approached, and when he slapped his hand onto the back of Rodrigo's shirt, they all stood as he hauled him from the table.

"Oh, shit," Melody said as Ben slammed Rodrigo onto the ground and began punching him in the face.

Every strike sent an echo towards me of knuckles colliding with thinly covered bone, so I covered my ears, but the blood oozing from Rodrigo's nose trickled like lava across the carpet towards my Converse. I wanted the nightmare acid trip to stop. Leo and Dave rushed over, but Ben thrashed against them before they successfully yanked him off. Rodrigo scrambled to his feet, and someone handed him a napkin, but he slapped it away, opting to use his shirt sleeve instead.

"What the fuck is your deal, Benny!"

"You drugged Carmela!"

"That's why you attacked me?" Rodrigo laughed and spat a glop of blood onto the carpet. "It's just a little peyote, so she loosens up. No big deal."

"Are you fucking insane?" Ben charged forward, but Leo and Dave locked him in place. "She's never done hallucinogens before!"

"Well, that's not your problem, is it, Benny? She's my wife. Mine." He pounded his chest, and the sound struck like a gong in my ears, so I curled into a ball and began rocking.

"Ben!" Melody shouted. "Let's get her out of here. She's freaking out."

"Ben?" Rodrigo swung our way. "I'm her husband. I'll handle her."

"Don't you fucking dare." Ben attempted to charge him again, but Dave and Leo held on. "You've done enough to her."

"Yeah, and I can do whatever I want because she is mine. Not yours! Do you think I don't see you always looking at her? Whispering to her in corners?"

"Guys..." Leo spoke up. "We're drawing attention. We don't want to get booted by security, so maybe we should have Melody take care of her until she comes down from the high, ok?"

"I said, I've got this!" Rodrigo snarled.

"Rod. Come on," Leo reasoned. "Look at her over there. Carmela doesn't look good. Just let Melody take care of her."

"Fine. But only Melody. I don't want that cuckolding fuck around my wife."

"That's fair." Leo nodded and called out to Melody, "Take her back to our room. Stay with her until she calms down and order room service or whatever you girls need. Ok?"

Our walk back to the hotel is still a complete blur to this day. Sometimes the dark hallway and flickering wall sconces come back to the forefront of my memories. Other times it's the rough feel of the textured wallpaper as I pressed my hands for traction while tucked under Melody's arm. Sometimes I remember her voice, but it comes and goes.

However, the plush bedspread is still so vivid in my mind.

I moved my arms and legs back and forth, making a snow angel giggling. Next to me was the clink of a water glass on the nightstand as Melody set it down.

"I want you to drink the entire glass. We need to flush the peyote out of your system. Ok?"

"What's peyote?" I wriggled back and forth, staring at the popcorn ceiling and trying to touch it with my fingers, which seemed to stretch magically. "Almost there..."

"Stop." Melody pushed my hand down. "I know it's hard to focus right now, but you must drink water. So here, take it."

"Fine." I sat up, and the bedspread whooshed like waves in the ocean. "Did you see that?"

"Carmela. Focus. Drink."

"Ok." I pressed the glass to my lips and began sipping, but the water shimmered like diamonds, so I began taking big gulps.

"Slow, slow, you don't want to choke!" 

"Have you ever tasted diamonds?" I gasped, wiping my mouth and belching. "Tastes like honey."

"Well, it smells like Doritos." Melody waved her hand.

"I'm hungry. What do you think the sun tastes like?"

"I don't know, but maybe nachos are the next best thing."

"Yes. Nachos with lots of cheese. Oh my god, Melody!" I got to my knees and scooted to the edge of the bed to clasp her hands. "You're a genius! The sun is made of nacho cheese."

"Right. Now how about some more water while I order room service? Think you can handle that?"

"Yes." I sat back and cupped the glass of water with both hands.

Moments later, a knock at the door had me springing to my feet and clapping as Melody headed over to answer. I glanced down at my growling belly and saw ripples moving across it, eager to be filled with cheesy nachos. When I patted my shirt, my fingers sunk into the material like soft sand.

"Whoa, Melody, you gotta try this!" I touched my stomach.

"It's not a good idea, Ben," I heard her say, and my attention flew towards the door. His tall frame took up most of the threshold, and as soon as our eyes met, he pushed into the room. "Hey, hey! Come on, man, this is bad."

"Melody, please?" He turned to her. "I just want to ensure she's ok, and then I'll leave."

"Who are we kidding," she sighed. "We both know you're not going anywhere."

He crossed the room and took a seat on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping with his weight as he pulled me into his arms.

I don't know how long we sat there, holding each other, but I didn't care. 

With Ben, I was safe.