Chapter 32 - Five of Cups (Stars over Pagosa crossover)

Reversed Seven of Wands, Reversed Page of Swords,  Five of Cups

Hours earlier...

Jay watched Audra Grean aka Dr. Nova Kuokme, sleeping in a drug induced slumber. He longed to touch her high cheekbones and full lips or gather the silky dark hair spread out across her pillow. He wondered if her lost lover, the US Marshal John Wolfe, had watched her like this. Her flannel sleep shirt gaped, showing the curve of her breasts. She shivered as she dreamed, and he wondered why; the room wasn't too cold in spite of the frigid air outside. He tugged the afghan over her shoulder. Succumbing to temptation, he brushed his fingertips over her lips, they parted, and she inhaled slowly. He leaned over her and let her exhale brush over his cool lips. Her breath felt warm and welcoming like a gentle caress, inviting him to kiss her. Risking discovery, he laid down behind her and spooned her petite curves. Smelling her hair, he sighed against her shoulder as he trailed chaste kisses toward her ear.

"Oh Nova, you're not like the others, are you? Named for a star in the sky... And just like a star overhead, you're just too good for the world, too caring, too kind... but I know it's just a façade... You've killed too. Your alias means noble strength... And you are strong...Strong enough to slay those who were sent to kill you... Strong enough to protect our little girl." He thought about his mother, how she never protected them, so he had been the only one to survive. 

His hand lightly traced the dip from her hip to her waist then up to the mounds on her breasts over her flannel and under the afghan. His mind shifted to what he had discovered about Dr. Nova Kuokme and her survival.

He worried that another assassin might come while he was away or when she went to testify at the apelet court trial, they would kill her and leave Autumn alone in the world. "Why do you want to go back into that risk? Would you leave Autumn all alone? Don't you love her like I do you both?"

"Yes." Audra moaned in her sleep and turned further away from him.

The gap between them filled with cool air. Suddenly aware of his erection, he got up stealthily. He could kill her now and fulfill his needs, but he wouldn't because her daughter was in the next room also in an induced deep sleep with Nero on the foot of her bed. The poor girl had been traumatized enough by adult men... Like his late little sister. Despite his temptation laying helpless, he didn't indulge, because she was different, special. They could be so much more than just a single night.

Instead, he left a lace wrapped box on her nightstand. She had figured out what he really was, but he still wanted her to know what he wanted to be to her. He didn't want to be her killer, he wanted to be her liberator. The new book would tell her everything they could be together. He left her house like a ghost, using Autumn's code and a copy of a key, he locked the door and armed the security system. It would look like Autumn had let Nero out then back in as she did every night. Timing was everything.

Dawn was still a few hours away, plenty of time to remove another thing that stood between him and her. Jay walked down the path to his former residence. Overhead the stars didn't even sparkle in the still air. It would be a beautiful Christmas morning however he was grateful for his thermal layers. A small house had been installed next to the charred ruins of his former house. He smirked and glanced in the window. In the glow of the yard light, he could see Deputy Matthias Abernathy was unconscious on the floor with a broken whiskey glass nearby. Not-Jay let himself in and knelt over the retired FBI agent turned Sheriff's Deputy.

"You think you're so smart, so capable. I read your real file. They called you the Harbinger, but you're not, are you? Not like me... You..." He coughed as a fist, jabbed him in the solar plexus, sending him flying backwards.

"You have no idea what I really am." Matthias rose up, advancing slowly through the shadows of the small house.

Not-Jay coughed, sliding himself up the wall. "You shouldn't be awake; you can't be."

"I have been laying there half the night waiting for you... You were smart to wear soft armor, but I am still going to kill you after you tell me what I want," Matthias announced his intention then he moved faster than Jay could have imagined. One blow was all it took.

Jay woke up slowing with the pounding headache of a concussion. He couldn't move more than a fraction of an inch. Shifting he realized he was wearing a diaper, and something else uncomfortable was attached to his male genitals. He blinked and raised his head to look around. He knew instantly where he was.

Matthias glared at the younger man restrained in front of him. "Your dark web skills are almost as impressive as your obsession with re-enacting the erotic scenes by Mayibe Chained is disturbing... Please tell my friend behind the glass when you met the author and how you killed her."

"I have rights, I demand a lawyer," he shouted, looking at the two-way mirror between this room and the walk-in closet shared with the other bedroom. They had brought him back to the rental house where he killed Jake Remington and Melody Neese. The one he renovated to fit the scene Melody claimed was her favorite from Carnal Carnival.

"You have to tell me your name, your real name before I will consider it," Matthias demanded coolly. "Jay Lancaster is dead and so are all of the other identities you left in your box to throw us off the trail. Didn't you know the old plaster walls wouldn't burn with a little bit of kerosene? That plaster is made of chalk and asbestos, it won't burn like the newer stuff."

Refusing to acknowledge him, Jay looked at the mirror. "You don't have any evidence that I killed anyone." He strained against the bonds holding him to something like a dental chair but he was only bruising himself. It was medical grade equipment and he realized Matthias had been planning to capture him.

"Actually, we do... We found your home movies, even if they don't show the murders, they show intent and opportunity. Plus, we have State Patrol Deputy Dean Markham's body in your house, with his skin frozen to the interior of your freezer and you attempted to assume his identity by taking a job in New Mexico. We have already confirmed with Carlsbad PD that you interviewed with them pretending to be Deputy Markham after his death." Matthias blinked, "You are going to prison for him until you die, even if Colorado no longer has the Death Penalty. The only way you avoid it is to tell us about your victims. We have tracked you through a dozen towns using identities that aren't you and are very close to proving you repeatedly faked your identity deaths in a very grandiose fashion to assume the next one. My companion says you qualify as criminally insane."

"I'm not insane." Refuting him, Jay gave up struggling against his restraints, knowing if they thought he was delusional they might drop their guard. He decided to act offended that he was being accused of anything because those he killed deserved death and he had enjoyed giving it to them to teach them their last lesson in life. His head was spinning and his ribs ached.

"Mayibe Chained... Who was she and why did you start emulating her erotica scenes for your murders?" Matthias demanded coldly. "Was it an accident when she died? Did your sex play go too far or did she decide you weren't enough of a man for her?"

"You know nothing about her!" Jay was furious that he dared mention her. "She loved me. She was my..." Stopping, he blinked furiously, realizing the drugs he must have been injected with were affecting his judgement because he almost revealed himself as not being Jay Lancaster. He demanded in a hateful tone, "What did you give me?"

"Just a little something to help you talk to us." Matthias tipped his head as if listening. Jay noticed the earpiece he was wearing. Matthias revealed no emotion as he stated, "They want me to ask if you have run out of her completed stories to re-write and indie publish? Is that why you published the short stories based on the romantic fantasies of her fan submission contest?" There was mocking judgement in his tone. Jay could hear it.

"I'm not saying anymore without a lawyer." Jay clenched his jaw and looked toward the mirror again, refusing to speak anymore.

"Who was she?" Matthias asked again.

They sat in silence for a long time then Matthias stood. "I have an appointment but after tomorrow, I have three vacation days to finish my interrogation. Consider carefully how long you want it to last." Then Matthias pulled a ball gag out of his pocket. "I believe this is your favorite piece of bondage gear. All of those we suspect were your victims were forced to wear one. All the ones in the videos... Have you ever worn one? No? They are quite uncomfortable... Let's see how you like it."

Resisting as much as he could, Jay squirmed and tried to headbutt the older man or overturn the chair, but Matthias was stronger and strapped the gag around his head after forcing his mouth open and the rubber ball in place.

"I'll kill you!" He snorted and muttered unintelligibly.

"Perfect fit... if they couldn't scream for help, I can't let you." Matthias pulled off his blood smeared shirt and changed into a dress shirt as he talked. "Just like poor Melody hanging helplessly from her swing from Carnal Carnival... or Holly whom you tortured as the geisha from The Samurai's Submissive and put in a lovely bubble bath... There was June who had a pelvis that was broken from internal water pressure from Fireman's Flame... And Reneé who didn't survive the Sweet Spot... That brings us to Lena, poor Lindsey who died so tragically from the fantasy in Madame Erotica's Magical Menagerie... How much drugs did you give her to convince her that stallion was a centaur?"

Shocked at how many they had found, Jay suddenly became very worried that he might not get the chance to escape as the ball gag forced his mouth open unnaturally far, making his jaw hurt.

Matthias tied his tie and then slipped on a tailored business casual jacket. He took Jay's jaw. "I will figure out who the others were and punish you for them too."

Matthias turned and walked out, shutting off the light. "Consider answering my questions, or I will start putting you through what you put them through. It's a lot of work, but I want you to understand the pain you caused. I do not for a moment believe your claim to Audra that you are only killing bad people to make the world a better place."

Jay blinked at the total darkness and hated the memories it stirred. Slowly, Jay began to test his restraints one at a time. He had learned as a teen how to escape being bound but these were not the ropes or sex-shop handcuffs his late father and late uncle had used. He didn't know how much time passed as he tried to figure out how to escape and not remember what happened after his uncle killed his parents and then his sister. They never protected them from him, not once. He closed his eyes and focused on finding a way to escape, a flaw in his incarceration.

~~~~

Early Christmas Morning...

Driving to the Rocking M Ranch, Tim's eyes glanced over the mountain vista he had known his entire life. He knew the rock layers and their history. He knew their erosion rate and the winds that blew over them. Understanding the stone and weather of the mountains was easy; the people who lived throughout the area, not so much. He knew what it was like to want to do harm in revenge or to hurt someone through a poor choice, but the things in the books he was reading were giving him nightmares. Pulling across the cattle guard, he saw the only place he truly called home. Red angus and white-faced, russet herefords dotted the snow-covered fields around the large round bale feeders. Seeing the homestead that had existed since before Colorado was a state, gave Tim a sense of belonging to something greater than himself.

Parking next to Tiana's yellow Jeep, Tim got out and took the large tote of Sheridan's new toys into the small three-bedroom house that served as a bunkhouse and family home since the 1930s. He put the tote beside the synthetic Christmas tree in the corner. Sheridan was already busy decorating it.

"Look, Granddad, I makes it pretty for you for Christmas."

"Thank you, tadpole."

Tiana came out of the kitchen holding a mug of coffee and a sippy cup that Tim knew contained cooled hot cocoa for Sheridan. She gave him a grumpy look. "You should have told me, Dad."

"We didn't want to worry you," he responded regretfully and quietly with a glance at Sheridan.

"Do you remember what I said when we were in the South Pacific? No more secrets, I meant it." Muttering, Tiana shuddered slightly, repeating, "I meant it. I don't want any more secrets and you can tell Uncle Lloyd that I am mad at him too."

Tim bowed his head, "I'm sorry, mermaid."

Drumming her fingertips on the warm mug, Tiana watched her daughter hanging all the Christmas ornaments on the bottom of the tree. "I want you to tell me everything."

"I can't right now, Darlin', but I promise, I will someday."

She looked ready to start fighting again but the phone rang so he answered it and talked to Lloyd for a moment.

"T, I have to go. Lloyd wants to bring Audra and Autumn to the ranch to keep them safe too. I have to go help move their goats. Don't tell Autumn, but we think the man impersonating Jay Lancaster is a serial killer, and he is using the Mayibe Chained novels to find his victims." Tim turned to walk out but Tiana crossed the room quickly and seized his arm.

"What else, Dad?" Tiana squared her shoulders. "Tell me now or stay with Uncle Lloyd. I won't live with a liar again."

"Fine." Scowling, Tim glanced over at Sheridan talking to the plush cat Cassandra had given her. "I need to talk to someone first to confirm my suspicion, but I think the serial killer and the author might be the same person. I need to go. Can you make a pot roast for dinner?" It was the least direct answer he could give her.

She rolled her eyes at his attempt to distract her. "Yeah, I'll make it, but I want the truth. Autumn and her mom are staying with me and you can stay in town or with Uncle Lloyd... You should have told me."

"I'm sorry." Tim tipped his new Stetson to her and promised, "I'll tell you, but I don't think you should tell Autumn everything. She is too young to know the things this murderer does to his victims. I'll stay at the house in case he comes back but I don't want you leaving the ranch unarmed."

Unexpectedly Tiana sat down her mug and hugged him. "Be careful, Daddy," she said like she always did when she was a child, and he was leaving to work overseas. Again, he felt the burn of regret for all the time he missed with her.

~~~~

Tim took the cattle trailer to the Singing Goat Dairy but when he parked and got out, he could hear Audra and Lloyd yelling at each other. Nero the dog was sitting in the door of the goat barn as if guarding it, so he walked over there. Autumn was sitting inside on a milking stand, petting one of the goats.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Hey, Mr. Ballard." She looked like she had been crying. "Why didn't y'all tell us?"

Sighing, he sat down next to her. "Autumn. As parents, the thing we want to do most is protect our children. When we figured out that Not-Jay was helping that woman, we realized planned to stop her from killing your mom to play the hero to your mom as part of his game... That he had kill two women and two of his fellow officers, we didn't want you and Tiana to be afraid all the time."

"But I am already afraid all the time," Autumn confessed, "I have been afraid since... that night, you know." She started to wipe her nose on her sleeve, but Tim stopped her and gave her a bandana. After blowing her nose, she asked, "Who were the officers?"

"Markham and Remington... They were part timers from the Highway Patrol," Tim revealed, then insisted, "Sweetie, you don't want to know the details." Standing up, he said, "Let's get the goats loaded. Tiana is already at the ranch and waiting for you. We'll keep you safe."

"Thank you, Mr. Ballard." Autumn went out past Nero, dropping and ear rub on the pitbull mix's head then went inside the house.

Tim noticed the dog had gained some much-needed weight under the teen's care as Lloyd came stomping out of Audra's house. "We're about to load the goats and cow," Tim announced.

"Good. Maybe you can talk some sense into that... that woman." Lloyd growled out through gritted teeth.

"What's going on?" Tim asked, watching Autumn go to her classic truck. He moved to guide her back to their small livestock trailer.

"She wants us to just take the herd and Autumn and leave her here in case Not-Jay comes back." Lloyd's dark look revealed he would murder the world to protect her. The vein in his neck was visibly pulsing. "She wants to be bait."

"I'll go talk to her." Tim squeezed Lloyd's shoulder then the two men lifted the tongue and hooked it to the hitch of Autumn's truck with practiced ease.

"Thanks. She won't listen to me."

They quickly got the goats and single cow in the trailers then Tim went in to find Audra packing for Autumn and Nero.

"Don't forget to pack for yourself, Darlin'."

"Tim..."

"Listen to me. I lost years of my daughter's life. Days I will never get back." He turned her to face him. "You don't know when or if they are coming for you. Would you take those days from Autumn if the worst does happen?"

She frowned, scrunching up her forehead and blinking like she was trying not to cry. "None of this should have ever happened to her at all... I... I just couldn't let them kill all those people."

"You did the right thing. You are continuing to do the right thing. Don't give up and stop living before you're dead. Your daughter will regret the days she loses with you," Tim assured her.

"Autumn is starting to hate me," Audra insisted as she squinted through her thick glasses around at Autumn's room.

"She doesn't hate you. She hates the situation and knows of no way to express it except to take it out on the person closest to her. Someday she will realize her anger is misplaced and she will be proud to have you as her mom." Tim prayed he was right as he said the words then he hugged her. "The goats and Bess are loaded. Let's get your things before Lloyd ruptures that vein in his neck."