Chapter 26 Seven of Pentacles

Page of Cups, Seven of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles

Almost a year later, February...

Cassandra yawed and stretched after a long night of recording the latest book in her favorite Amish Romance series. It was almost 9AM and she was ready for a hot shower and a soft bed. Her voice recording career kept her as busy as any singer on tour. She glanced through her new emails and scowled. Mayibe Chained's representative was emailing her again. Cassandra shuddered. She wanted nothing to do with the author or with any of the other erotic authors emailing her. After her rape and Shivonne's murder, she had no interest in the genre or doing anything but clean romances. Shaking her head, she turned off all her equipment and went to make herself a cup of Valarian root and chamomile tea.

The weather had been unseasonably warm, but she didn't mind. Sitting outside in February without a coat was a perk of Colorado sometimes but it always meant snow would show up later. Her breath made frosted clouds but her thick wooley sweater and fingerless gloves kept her warm. She wondered how Fern McConnell was doing. She missed the elderly lady rancher, but her cancer had spread to her brain it was only a matter of time. Time with her family that Cassie didn't want to intrude on, even if she was terrified of being around the extended family of the McConnell-Ballard clan. She couldn't even imagine having a family that numbered in the hundreds. Fern had outlived all of her children, many of her grandchildren and few of her great-grandchildren. She wondered if she could make herself go tomorrow.

A cow's pained bellow broke the morning air as it bayed its distress. Cassie stood quickly and rushed to the back of her house. Ruby had wandered up with Audie several days earlier. He went back to the ranch on his own, but she remained in Cassie's winter-dry meadow. Cassie tried to get her to sleep in the garage, but the cow wouldn't do it.

"Ruby! Ruby Rose!" Cassie shouted as she searched frantically.

The echoes of the cow's pained wails echoed around the little valley and the stone walls making it impossible to locate her. Cassie rushed down the path into the small grove of trees. She wasn't there. Hurrying back and forth, Cassie searched the trees then decided she was on the wrong side of the box canyon and headed toward the entrance. She found her in the small cluster of cedars near the gate, but something was very wrong. Ruby was laying on her side kicking her legs and flailing. She knocked Cassie away as she strained to push out her calf. Crying, Cassie stood and clutched her arm. She looked at the cow and realized there were three baby hooves sticking out.

"Hold on, Ruby," Cassie shouted over the bellows of agony, then she staggered back to the house and called Fern.

A man answered and she recognized that it was Tim. "Tim, you have to bring Fern and Doc! Hurry! Ruby's in trouble."

"Who? Cassandra?" Tim was confused and barely understanding the sobbing frantic woman. "What's wrong with my aunt?"

"Who is it?" Fern asked weakly. She had lost all her hair and could barely stand because of her chemotherapy.

"It's Cassandra, Grandma. She says Ruby's in trouble," Tim revealed then said, "I'll call the station... hey."

Giving him an annoyed look, Fern took the phone from him. "Cassandra, sweetie, slow down. What's wrong with Ruby Rose?"

"I think the baby is stuck. She is wailing and kicked me. There are three hooves sticking out her butt. She can't get up." Cassie sobbed as she explained then she said, "I have to get back to her! She's close to the gate. Please, please come."

They could hear a door slam and then the desperate pained moo's of a cow as Cassandra ran back out to the distressed animal. She sobbed between panted breaths.

"Sweetie, we're on the way. Are you hurt?" Fern's voice was firm but gentle.

"My arm hurts but it's fine. Just come quickly. I don't know what to..."

"Tim, get the truck," Fern ordered. "We need to get there before that girl gets herself hurt."

"Grandma, you can't," he started to refuse but she gave him a look that said she would go alone if he didn't obey.

Tim grabbed the keys from the hook and ran to get the truck. He parked in front of the house, then rushed to help her down the steps. He was shocked that she had a pistol strapped to her hip.

"What is that for?" He demanded as he drove to the little box canyon like a mad man.

"I had to put Ruby Rose's mother down after she did the same thing. I only managed to save one of the two calves that time." Fern's withered lips pressed together in determination and for a moment, Tim felt the stabbing pain of his grandmother's mortality. He stopped and jumped out to open the gate. He could hear Cassandra begging the cow to lay still. They were close. Suddenly, everything became quiet.

He cursed then shouted, "Cassandra?"

"Here, Tim! We're over here." Her sobs jumbled her words.

He opened the door and picked his frail grandmother up then rushed toward Cassandra's sobs. They found her sitting and holding the cow's head in her lap. She looked up at them in horrified grief.

"She died. Ruby died because I didn't know what to do."

"Set me down, Tim," Fern demanded then she began touching the cow's abdomen. "Tim, you need to turn and pull this one out, the other one is still alive."

Tim immediately pulled his long-sleeved shirt off and reached into the cow's birth canal, pushing the front leg back in and straightening the body. He pulled it out with all his strength and dropped it on the ground before he reached back in and felt for the other one. It had started thrashing weakly. He couldn't feel the head, just the rump through the amniotic sack.

Cassie watched in shock as Tim leaned into the cow's arse, all the way up to his shoulder.

"I got it." He closed his fist around the calf's feet and dragged it out.

Fern pulled out a hunting knife and cut the sack, then Tim picked up the calf and swung it, head down.

"What are you doing?" Cassie demanded.

"He's getting the fluid out of its lungs... Cassie, I need you to bring me a couple of towels. Now!" Fern's quiet demand hit her with such strength that Cassie leapt to her feet to obey. She ran to the house then sprinted back. Panting and wheezing, she held out the towels to Fern and Tim.

Tim began rubbing the baby heifer roughly.

"Don't hurt it," Cassie demanded grabbing his arm with her unhurt hand.

"It has to be this way," his deep voice assured her. "We have to get it stimulated enough it will take a breath."

Suddenly the calf inhaled, coughed, then inhaled again and let out a high-pitched moo of complaint. Cassie started crying again in relief then she looked at the dead calf on the ground. She knelt next to it.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Fern hugged her. "You did the right thing calling. There was nothing you could have done to save it. See how its eyes are white? It has been dead for at least an hour and stuck inside its mama. You saved its sister by calling us." Fern stood and pulled at Cassie to stand with her. It was obvious the younger woman was going into shock. "Come with us. We need to feed the calf and have Cordell look at your arm."

Shaking, Cassie just nodded. Tim carried the calf back to the truck as Fern encouraged the crying Cassandra to come with them. It was a somber drive back to the ranch clinic. When they got there, Fern called her husband to come home from checking the cattle of the Bar UK. Cassie held the calf while Fern made a bottle.

"Tim, take the tractor and bring back Ruby Rose home. We'll send her up to the wolf sanctuary." When he looked about to protest, she insisted, "Do it now, I don't want Cassandra traumatized anymore than she already is. She's such a gentle soul."

He nodded, acquiescing, "Yes, ma'am."

He called Lloyd from the tact and tool room in the barn. "Hey, when are you off?"

"Not anytime soon, why?"

"414 threw a breech calf and died. Grandma wants us to take her and the calf that didn't make it up to the Wolf Sanctuary," Tim explained as he checked the fuel in the tractor and attached a canvas feed tote to the tines of the forklift attachment.

"Damn! Her mother died the same. You'll have to do. We are having too much right now for me to leave. There were three more break-ins." Lloyd complained. "Tank has the day off but Selene, I mean Miranda, shot an early riser that was after her dog this morning."

"Holey..." Tim shook his head, he knew the weather had been unseasonably warm but for the bears to be waking in February was a very bad sign. "Let him know, I'll pick up the carcass tomorrow if he needs me too."

"I'll have him call ya, see ya." Lloyd hung up as their Aunt Ruby called for him.

Tim shook his head and headed to remove the dead cow and calf from Cassandra's little canyon. He carried a few gallons of bleach with him when he got on the tractor. It wouldn't do for a bear to wander in there. Cassandra would probably get herself killed trying to feed it some fancy bear chow she bought online.

Tim arrived back at the ranch at the same time as his grandfather arrived at the clinic. A few minutes, later Fern came out with Cassie and the three of them drove away. Tim shook his head wondering if her arm had been broken when the distressed cow kicked her. His phone chimed. He headed to town to get his granddaughter so Tiana could go to her afternoon classed and diving practice. As he drove, he thought about the roller coaster the last year and a half of his life. Reaching the house he shared with his daughter, he was barely in the door when Tiana rushed downstairs. Sheridan was asleep in a bassinette.

"What happened to you?" She looked him up and down.

"414 threw breech, your grandma had me pull the first one out to get at the second. It lived," he explained as he looked at the blood and amniotic fluid dried on his clothes.

"Is Grandma upset? Ruby Rose was one of her favorites," Tiana asked as she poured coffee into a travel mug.

"She's not as upset as..." Tim stopped before he said Cassandra's name. "You're late."

"No, I'm not, I've got six minutes. Love you, Daddy." She started to hug him then stopped, holding out her arms and pretending to hug him. "Air hug. See you after diving practice."

"Bye, Mermaid."

"Oh, Call Sheriff Tank on his ranch line. Something about a bear." She slammed the door behind her.

Tim looked around the house he bought to replace the one Tonia's criminal friends burned. Splitting his time between here and the Ranch was tiring him out, but he couldn't leave the burden of running the ranch on his grandfather with his grandmother as sick as she was. Yawning, he went to get a shower. Maybe he could catch a nap while Sheridan slept this afternoon.

~~~~

It was early in the morning when Tim Ballard pulled out of the drive to the Tanner Ranch from picking up what was left of a bear carcass. He was surprised to see Selene Miranda Rose waving at him to stop by the end of her drive.

"Hello, Selene."

She shifted nervously on her feet then held out a cooler. "Thank you for taking the rest of the bear to the wolf sanctuary. Here's ten pounds of its meat."

"Uh... uh, thank you and you're w-welcome," Tim stammered.

All the regret twisted his stomach into knots and he couldn't think of what to say to her first. There was so much. They stared at each other for a moment then she turned to walk away.

"Selene, wait... I... I really, really am sorry for what I did... For the pictures... For betraying your trust... for not loving you back the way you loved me." His helpless regret poured out, and he ached, as a tear ran down her cheek. "I spent years regretting it all and I'm sorry."

"You don't know how badly you hurt me. I never got over it. I don't think I can ever forgive you." She admitted, "But I am sorry for the things I've said, especially to Tiana. I don't want to be enemies anymore."

To not get out and fall on his knees in front of her, Tim nodded, trying to make a joke, "You always did have thorns, Rose."

She shrugged almost awkwardly then repeated, "Thanks for taking the bear carcass,"

He watched her walking up the hill toward her little homestead. "Selene... Would you like to have dinner sometime?"

He held this insane hope for a minute that maybe they could start again. The breeze seemed to make her hair float as she turned back to face him, with the dappled sunlight brought out her auburn highlights. She was beautiful, he always knew it and now that he could see it, his regret was like an itch he couldn't scratch. He hated himself a little more for what he did.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. I'm not the person I was, the girl who loved you turned into everything I hate in a person. I hate who I am but it's all I have left." She walked away. "See ya around town, Tim."

Tim had to take off his glasses and wipe his eyes before he drove off. He had made some foolish decisions in his life but the one he regretted most was Tonia. He knew before Tiana was born he'd made a mistake, but his pride had held on for eight long years. It had cost him almost everything of value and he had been lucky his daughter and granddaughter survived. He was home now; working, substitute teaching science classes at Pagosa High School, helping at the Rocking M, and making up for the time he lost with Tiana. She and Sheridan were his joy, but he was lonely. He wanted what his grandparents had, what Molly and Garret had, he wanted to be loved. As he drove, he thought about that night at the Moon over the Mountains Dance when Selene had cursed him to never be loved. He had to wonder if the goddess she was named after had heard her plea because no one had truly loved him since that night and the girl who had was now, by her own admission, a woman who could only hate.

Getting back to the ranch, he was just loading the cow and calf carcasses when he saw Cassandra come out of his grandparents' house. Grandma Fern walked with her, holding to the arm that wasn't in a cast.

"Tim, are you going to the wolf sanctuary today?" Grandma Fern's tone told him it was not a question.

"Yes, ma'am. Good morning, Cassandra." He tipped his head at her.

"Good morning. Your grandmother was telling me about it and... I was wondering... I want to go with you." She trembled in fear as she said it but then she begged, "May I go with you? I'm trying to get out more."

He was shocked. "Uhm, it's a long drive, I'll have to stop for gas at least once and I'll have Sheridan with me."

"Oh pish posh, you will leave my great-great grandbabe with me. There is no need to take her for a six-hour car ride. Go get Sheridan, while Cassandra gets ready. Take her and the box of books on the table to her house on your way." Fern left them there.

Tim sighed. "Excuse me, ma'am." He went after his grandmother leaving her standing there. Inside, he asked, "Grandma, do you think this is a good idea? I have to get the carcasses there before the weather moves in or it will go rancid. I can't turn around and come back if she had a fit or something."

Fern looked at him with all her will shining in her eyes. "Timothy, you will take her to see the wolves and you will leave Sheridan with me... please Tim, she's trying. Soon I will be gone from this world, and she won't have a soul left that's her friend except her sound producer in Denmark and Nick. I need you to be her friend after I'm gone."

An uncontrollable shudder of grief ran through his tall frame, and he hugged her suddenly. "I love you, Grandma."

"Oh Tim, I love you too. Perhaps if I had stood up against you marrying that harlot and fought to take Tiana from her we wouldn't have suffered so much this last decade." Fern looked up at him. Her eyes were the faded color his would be when he reached his late nineties. "Take care of her. Those books are for her to read so she can learn about cattle... I am going to have a small nap before you get back with Sheridan," Fern announced then walked back to her bedroom.

Tim wiped his eyes. He felt like all they did was leak lately, then he picked up the box and went to do the things his grandmother expected.

As he drove Cassandra up to her house he noticed her foot nudging the cooler.

"Have you ever cooked or eaten bear meat?"

She looked at him in shock. "Uhhh, no."

"Selene gave me ten pounds. It's probably in two pound packages and already been soaked in vinegar. If you want some, you put it in the crock pot with canned tomatoes, a cup of the vinegar of your choice, molasses, garlic cloves, and sliced onion."

She looked curious, as she asked, "What about spices?"

"I like paprika, sage, and chili flakes with mine, but my grandma uses tarragon, mint, and cumin with paprika." After he stopped in front of her house, he reached down and opened the cooler, pulling out a wrapped bundle.

She took it. "I could start it for dinner tonight after we get back."

Smiling his best, he handed her second package. "Much obliged, ma'am. I do like a good slow-cook bear roast... I'll be back in about forty-five minutes."

Cassandra watched him driving away, then rushed inside to start the crockpot. She was terrified but also excited. It was nice to have a new friend.