Chapter - Five of Swords

Four of Cups reversed, Five of Swords, Queen of Pentacles

~~~

One week after Tiana was hospitalized...

Tim didn't sleep. He knew Lloyd was meeting with Tonia and Tiana tonight to discuss what happened. He and his cousin's rivalry was put aside for Tim's daughter and because Lloyd loved her like a daughter. Tim slept fitfully for only a few hours then suffered a nightmare.

He was outside the house he paid the mortgage on for a decade. Inside he could hear Tiana screaming.

"Daddy! Daddy, help me."

Tim beat on the front door until his fists were bloody and kicked it until he thought his feet were broken. Desperately, he tried to lift up the garage door, but he wasn't strong enough. He checked the windows until he came to the office. Tonia was sitting at the desk, drinking from a bottle of expensive wine with stacks of money around the computer. She was online shopping.

"Tonia! Tonia, help her!" Tim shouted as he left scarlet handprints beating on the window. "Tonia!"

When Tiana's screams stopped suddenly, Tim shoved the grill over to the garage and climbed desperately onto the roof. He rushed to Tiana's window. He could only see the man leaving her room as he was closing the door. Tiana lay on her bed, stare toward him with dead eyes.

Tim sat up so suddenly, he almost tumbled out of the rack bed where he slept. Laying back, he panted to calm himself. Telling himself over and over, it was just a dream, Tiana was alive and safe, staying with the Wallace Family on the Ridgeline Ranch. 

When he turned over for the seventh time in five minutes, Seung punched or kicked the bunk above him, threatening Tim in Japanese, "Be still or I will pitch you over the rail."

Tim groaned and got off the upper bunk apologizing to the large Korean. "I'm sorry."

Raising up on one elbow, Seung shook his head. "If you can't rest, then you will make a mistake and hurt someone or yourself. Would your daughter want you to be hurt because she was harmed?"

Everyone on the rig learned a small amount of what happened after Tim had a shouting match with Chan's replacement. They would let him have leave for four or five days at a time, but only on this continent. "No, but it is hard when she needs me, and I can't go." He stalked out of the sleeping dorm and up the stairs, trying not to stomp on the metal stairs. Seung had no children therefore he could not understand, Tim decided as he went outside.

Standing on the walkway, he stared out at the sunrise. Lalatos came up beside him and offered him a mug of coffee. "You haven't slept more than an hour or three in a week."

Taking the mug in his shaking hands, Tim admitted, "I keep dreaming that her rapist murders her while my ex-wife sat at her computer shopping and drinking wine. I keep trying to break into the house but I am too late every time." His fear verbalized made him choke and cough.

"No mother would standby and do nothing as her daughter was assaulted," La insisted.

"My cousin and I are certain she let it happen." Admitting his worry, Tim gulped the steaming liquid. His voice turned raspy as he revealed, "You don't know her. She isn't like us or our families who care for each other. If she got something out of it, she would let it happen." He breathed in through his mouth and out through his nose, trying to calm himself but his helplessness burned in his eyes and squeezed his throat until it was almost too tight to breathe through. "All I can do is wait for Lloyd to call now and trust him to watch over her."

"You said he was like a brother to you once, that he loves her like his own, you know you can trust him." Her encouragement as heartfelt, but Tim had one more bad card in the hand life dealt him and he blamed himself for the bad luck of this draw.

"I know and I do, but I still feel like a failure. I'm her father... I should have fought harder for her. I should have taken her and run."

Lalatos laughed and scolded, "Don't be ridiculous, then you would be in jail for kidnapping." She shook her head as she looked up at the lightening sky. "You did everything you could to provide a home and good place for your daughter to live... Sometimes bad things happen, and we can do is move past it. Sometimes all we can do is hold on to the ones we love while we cope with the harm others caused." She gave him a hard look. "You should rest. I'll make certain you don't miss your call."

After she walked away, he watched until the sun completely cleared the horizon. He could feel its heat, but nothing could warm the cold sense of failure as a father that chilled him. He dumped his cooled coffee off the edge watching the wind carry it away from the rig until it splashed into the day sea. Brown into the black waters turning navy blue. He breathed in through his mouth and out through his nose. His palms itched with the need to strangle the woman he once lusted for enough to betray the boy he loved like a brother and the girl who loved him for who he was. Reaching up he touched his cheek, remembering.

He almost felt guilty as she walked around in the size 30 magenta chiffon dress taking pictures for the yearbook. She had picked her dress in the color he lied and said was his favorite on her. Tonia glanced at him from where she stood with Lloyd's arm around her waist. She nodded her head, so he asked Selene to dance.

"Hey, Selene. Put the camera down and dance with me." He grinned in his best imitation of his popular cousin.

She smiled at him so brightly as she set the camera on a table. "I thought you forgot."

Swaying to the music, Tim talked about how things should be for other people, namely Tonia, finishing with, "Sometimes people push others too far and get what they deserve."

"What are you talking about?" Selene looked up at him then Lloyd was beside them. Tim held one arm as Lloyd grabbed the other.

Lloyd said, "You deserved this and there was more coming if you didn't leave Tonia alone."

Tonia and Carol pulled down the two biggest posters. Taped up behind them were bigger than life-sized pictures of Selene standing naked in the lake with the moon and the Maroon Bells in the background.

Smiling evilly, Tonia announced to the whole school, "My fellow Pagosa Cliffs High students, this is the real inspiration of the Moon over the Mountains theme." Everyone started laughing.

Lloyd taunted, "You can put them on the fridge as motivation."

Selene punched him hard enough to knock him on the floor then turned to Tim. She looked heartbroken before she slapped him.

"I hoped no one ever loves you like I do!" She turned and ran out as Beau Wallace shouted after her.

"Selene, wait!" He looked at Tim like he hated him. "What the hell, Tim, Lloyd?!" Snarling at them, Beau and two other seniors tore the posters down and into pieces. Tim had never seen Beau so mad as he threatened, "Get your stuff out of Grandpa Ben's bunkhouse or I'll burn it."

They didn't talk for six months. Tim could still feel the bruises he got the next day.

Selene didn't show up to take pictures of the football game, so Tim did. He was already feeling guilty because he had forgotten it was the anniversary of her father's death, but he didn't know how to apologize. The pictures were supposed to be posterboard-sized and he thought Tonia had gone too far.

"Hey, Ballard." Someone called him, so he lowered the camera to look over his shoulder. Vern Rose Jr. punched him so hard his glasses flew off, then he just kept hitting him. Tim was almost unconscious when Lloyd tackled Vern, but Vern was a champion wrestler before his father died. He flipped Lloyd onto the ground and began beating him too.

"You bastards! You almost killed her because of that toxic slut. You both deserve to get whatever that whore gives you!"

Lloyd managed to hit Vern back a few times, but Vern continued to rant profanities as he beat them both. Until Uncle Ray and Coach Maynard Colmer broke it up and Ray arrested him, the whole time Vern yelled profanities at them as he was dragged away. Then that evening, his Uncle Ray came home and looked at Tim and Lloyd in a disappointed way Tim never wanted to see again before he told them Selene tried to kill herself.

The sick feeling Tim felt that day never fully went away, and he put everything into the anti-bullying program they were ordered to do to keep from being expelled, but Beau wouldn't accept an apology after Selene's attempted suicide. Like most of the Wallaces, Beau's eyes told Tim what a low-down dirty coyote he thought Tim was, every time he looked at him. It killed Tim inside because he and Beau were best friends until that night. For lust, he ruined his life and friendships. He had been cursed for his cruelty by Selene but it felt like his daughter was paying for his sins. Absently, he wondered how Selene Rose was, and how her life turned out at she went to private school then joined the Navy then Coast Guard as an officer. He knew she would still be flying as he trudged down the stairs to the dorm. Selene always found a way to fly through the worst storms. Falling asleep quickly, he dreamed about one of the many times, Selene took him flying until Seung shook him awake.

Tim rushed to the main control room and picked up the phone, speaking in Japanese, "Engineer Tim Ballard here, how can I help you?"

In English, Lloyd answered, "You need to get someplace alone before we talk."

"Lloyd? Give me a minute." Tim suddenly felt scared then swallowed loudly before he ordered everyone out. "It's about my daughter, I need the room." He demanded in Japanese.

Seung and the other two workers left before La locked the door and nodded.

He announced, "Okay, I'm alone except for the other engineer. Lalatos understands and knows what is going on. Just tell me, how much did my baby girl suffer?"

Lloyd spoke as he described what Tiana went through in precise details. Tim sobbed for his daughter as Lalatos murmured, trying to comfort him.

Lloyd ended with a promise, "I will find him. I will punish him, and if Tonia let it happen, I will punish her too."

"Lloyd, don't... You can't get yourself arrested or shot and killed... I need you to take care of Tiana. I need you to do that for me," Tim begged. "I know I was the worst cousin in the world to you. I'm sorry... I am so sorry for everything but please, she's..."

"Tim, what's done is done. Tonia took us both around the corral. Tiana is my only focus right now," Lloyd growled out in a deep voice. "Come home as soon as you can."

"I will. Bye." Tim's hand shook as he prepared to disconnect the call.

"Bye." Lloyd sounded so far away then he was gone.

Lalatos looked horrified as she asked, "What now?"

"I have no choice but to stay and finish my contract but if they catch her attacked, I will go back for the trial."

"You can't. They will sue you for everything you own," she reminded.

Tim rubbed his face and turned his chair to look at the map on the wall. "Then I need to get this done as soon as possible."

~~~~

April...

Cassie watched the weather changing between winter and spring for months. She was ready for summer already. Her meadow was growing green already despite the frequent dustings of snow. She visited Grandma Fern when no one was at the ranch and did her best to be a tiny bit more brave. She was fine as long as she wasn't near people she didn't know. The bull came regularly and so did two cows which got fatter every time she saw them then she realized they were pregnant. Niko disappeared for two weeks; Cassie was frantic, but Miss Priss seemed not to care. She cleaned the bobcat like her own kitten when it returned while Cassie cried happily and brushed it.

The weather so warm and Cassie hurried to finish her recording session. She had more books lined up than she could record if she worked twenty hours a day instead of ten. She had been away since 2 AM recording with Hjalm. She wished him well but as soon as she opened the door to her recording room she knew something was different. The light in the house was gray and outside of the soundproof room she could hear the wind.

She swore and rushed out; the garage door was still open. The cold air and blowing snow bit at her skin. As she fought to get the snow out of the track of the garage door, she heard a moo.

"Audie! Ruby! Hurry up!"

The bull trotted out of the snow with the cow who followed him everywhere as soon as they were in, she slammed her hand on the button, but the door only came down halfway. Shivering in her wet, frozen clothes, she managed to get it closed. She stared out at the storm, then she clenched her teeth and ran for the house. She was so cold as she lunged through the knee-deep snow back to the house. Slamming the door behind her, she was shaking uncontrollably as she staggered into the house. Miss Priss pressed against her, mewling and licking the stuck to her sweater.

"It's okay, Priss. I just need to get warmed up." Cassie murmured. She put the cat on the bed then showered.

"Well, I guess we aren't going for a hike or planting flowers for the bees and butterflies." Cassie told the cat as she made herself a cup of hot tea.

She was shocked at how fast the snow was coming down but also grateful because now she had a good reason not to leave her little canyon. She checked the progress of the storm online and saw it would be two days before the storm passed and another week or two before it became warm enough for the snow to melt. No one would find her, no one could hurt her or would even know she was here. The snow buried the road and the road led past her gate and around the fence. She was hidden but she knew she needed to try to leave her sanctuary.

"I'll go after the snow melt. I'll start picking up my groceries and pet food," she told herself again. "I'll go when the weather warms up." She needed to try to be brave.