Chapter - The Two of Cups Reversed

The Queen of Wands, The Sun, The Two of Cups Reversed

min sangfugl is dutch for my songbird

~~~~

Trying not to scratch at her strawberry blonde wig, Cassie shifted in her costume dress. Grateful for the cool day, she watched Hjalm walking around checking the cameras and microphones set up in the meadow.

"We are almost ready, min sangfugl," Hjalm insisted, "Give me a tone."

Looking over at where Fern McConnell sat next to Elizabeth Robinson of The Wild Anemone, Cassie smiled as she inhaled deeply. Nick carried out a tray of iced teas then sat next to Erin. She looked back to Hjalm and let a pure E flow. As her friend raised his hand up and then down like a conductor, her voice rose and fell in the key of the song she would sing. He made the gesture to cut her off.

"Perfect. The acoustics in your little valley are amazing. Remember the light above the camera will glow when I want you to turn. Do it slowly and just keep singing."

While Hjalm finished prepping Cassie to record her performance, Fern reached over and squeezed Nick's hand. "I know this isn't your kind of music, but we are in for such a treat. She has my cow so spoiled."

"I know Grandma. Erin has shown me all the videos of her performances from school. It was enough to make even me like opera a little bit." Nick grinned roguishly and squeezed her hand back gently. He tried not to think about how thin and boney it was and was grateful that her grip was still strong despite her age.

Elizabeth chuckled, revealing, "When she stayed at the Anemone, my ghosts and I loved listening to her." Leaning forward she ran her withered, century old fingers through baby Emily's strawberry blond curls. "I wish I could get her to sing there again now that Milli has opened her bakery. I do miss sneaking into Carnegie Hall when I was a child." She sat back and waved her hand at Cassie and Hjalm. "Someday he will be a famous director and she will be a famous singer and we can say we enjoyed a private concert."

~~~

Hjalm revealed to Cassie, "You will be able to hear the recording of Duncan's part as Siegfried in your ear then I will mix them and cut the videos for the contest." Hjalm smiled at her reassuringly, "let's begin."

As Cassie sang the parts of Brunhilde from Das Rheingold, she felt like the powerful Valkyrie. Her heart and voice carried the bloom of love and betrayal of her lover forgetting her, then the joy of Siegfried remembering, followed by telling him she was with child. As she sang through the second time, Emily crawled out to her through the sunflowers wildflowers. Fern started to rise to retrieve the baby but Hjalm waved them back so Cassie picked up the beautiful strawberry blonde girl and held her as she sang. swaying Cassie let her voice rise and fall until she finished. Hjalm walk toward her.

"I want to try something else." Hjalm began removing the armor parts of the costume until Cassie was left in a simple white shift. he blotted off her deep red lipstick and adjusted the wig's braid to the shoulder opposite the one Emily was dozing on. Stepping back, he looked at her and Emily then nodded.

"Cassandra, I want you to sing the Nocturne and then Sleep Song by Secret Garden," Hjalm insisted.

"But the licensing..."

"Do not worry, I will get it," Hjalm promised. He touched her cheek after he adjusted her braid again. "Sing for me, min sangfugl, sing for the child." His eyes were trying to tell her something, and it made her both hopeful and uncomfortable.

Looking down at Emily's sleepy expression, Cassie waited for his signal to begin singing the song as she closed her eyes. She could imagine singing to a child she had never known she wanted until that moment. She turned and swayed, as she sang through the songs twice. She didn't need the music playing in her earpiece.

When she ended the Sleep Song, he exclaimed, "That was perfect. Once I make the light look like moonlight, I can enter these as well."

Emotionally joyful, Erin almost wept as he clapped with Fern and Elizabeth while Nick whistled.

"Shush," Cassie scolded as Emily whined, "Shh, don't cry sweetheart I'll sing you another." Cassie hummed and sang as the adults quieted listening to her singing May It Be in soft throaty tones.

Hjalm murmured to them, "I am certain she will win or get an honorable mention in at least two categories."

"Will she have to leave here to accept the prizes?" Erin asked worriedly, watching his sister sing and dance among the wildflowers with Ms. Elizabeth's great, great-grandniece.

"No, the contest is completely virtual," Hjalm explained, "Winning will greatly help her voice career and mean she will be able to refuse any project."

"Is that sick woman still bothering her?" Fern asked, trying not to scowl.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow in question, so Fern explained, "The writer of one of those sex books the youngins call romance now is bothering Cassandra to voice them. she does not want to and she is certain the author is in contact with the man who attacked her and killed her roommate."

Erin turned his back toward his sister so she wouldn't see his face as he demanded in an angry whisper, "When did this happen?"

"During the winter." Fern's lips pressed together in a thin line as she raised her glass then she sipped the iced tea to hide her expression.

"Did she call that detective in Denver?" Nick demanded as he raised his iced tea glass to his lips too.

Fern's answer worried them all. "She tried, but the man died in an accident that Cassandra is certain was staged. She thinks he was murdered."

Elizabeth smiled but her murmured words were harsh. "Hjalm... you are to tell no one where she is."

"I would never, Miss Elizabeth. To everyone who wants to meet her in person, I lie and say she lives in a very remote part of my country because she prefers her privacy. There is no view of the mountains from her meadow so no one will know where the music was filmed. There are several places in Denmark and Norway that could pass for this valley."

"She's coming over," Nick muttered as he raised his tea glass again, after a sip, he lowered it to praise her in a louder voice. "Darlin' you sound like an angel. The recordings on Erin's phone don't do your voice justice."

"I told you my cows are spoiled. they get to listen to her all the time," Fern bragged. "Thank you for the performance, Cassandra, but I think it is time Elizabeth and I get Emily home so she can finish her nap before dinner."

Cassie walked Elizabeth and Fern to the vet clinic van. Emily whimpered slightly when Cassie put her into her car seat, so Cassie saying a few more bars of the Sleep Song. Elizabeth hugged her gratefully, then Fern drove them out of Cassandra's little canyon.

When she went through the house, she petted Miss Priss who was asleep in the sunroom, not wondering where Niko had wandered off to. The orphaned juvenile bobcat did not like strangers and only tolerated Cassie and Fern. Cassie changed quickly in two yoga pants and a loose T-shirt before she scrubbed the theater makeup off her face and put her hair up in a ponytail. She was surprised at how intently her brother was talking with Nick and Hjalm.

Erin turned to face her, his expression was angry. "Why didn't you tell me that murderer may have found you? Or that Detective Stonewall was dead?"

"You were in school, and I didn't want to bother you with my paranoia."

"That doesn't matter. If you need me, you need to call me," Erin argued.

"Call you about what? That I'm crazy paranoid, that I can't sleep at night without checking the doors a dozen times." She threw up her hands in frustration. "The newspaper said Detective Stonewall died in an accident using a propane turkey fryer but Detective Stonewall doesn't." She hesitated then continued, "Didn't eat poultry. he hated turkey and would not have tried to cook one. Whoever killed him didn't know that." Cassandra's face flushed with her rage. "Did Fern tell you about Mayibe Chained trying to get me to voice her books?"

"Why do you think the author is talking to the man who hurt you?" Nick asked calmly trying to defuse the argument.

"Because she knows things. Her new book about the opera singer rescued by the Navy SEAL... the details... I don't want to talk about it." Cassie turned and walked away towards the backside of her little canyon to the place where the spring seeped down the wall and the hummingbirds nested.

Hjalm looked worriedly at Nick and Erin. "Is she getting any kind of therapy?"

"No, not anymore. She quit therapy a few months ago and now I know why. She is so afraid then he will find her or hurt someone to get to her," Erin revealed. "I don't know what to do? I don't know how to help her."

A scowl marred Nick's handsome face as he suggested, "maybe one of us should take this summer or fall off to stay with her. Living alone in this little Canyon can't be good for her mental health."

"I am afraid she is going to end up back in the hospital," Erin confessed.

Hjalm who has been silent asked, "Perhaps, I could find a place for her to stay in Denmark, or with my family in Norway or Iceland. Perhaps if she is not in the United states, she will feel safer."

"I'm not comfortable sending her that far away," Erin admitted.

"Don't worry, Hjalm, my grandparents are just in the valley. Grandma Fern visits regularly and they can keep an eye on her." Nick looked in the direction Cassie walked. "Erin why don't you go talk to her and I'll start dinner while Hjalm packs away his gear. We'll figure it out, we'll figure out how to keep her safe."

~~~~

Erin followed the well-worn path and found Cassie sitting on the stone bench she built staring up add the hummingbirds flitting around the trumpet vines growing on either side of a small dripping waterfall. He stood and watched her for several minutes before he noticed she was petting a large tawny cat that looked a lot like Miss Priss. Its legs were longer and fur smoother. He realized this must be the bobcat kitten Cassie raised over the winter. He must have sighed because the bobcat turned and looked at him with a growl before jumping down and stalking silently away into the forest.

"Go away," Cassie muttered, "Go home and leave me alone with my crazy."

"You're not crazy," Erin insisted as he sat down beside her. he felt betrayed that she hadn't told him how much she was struggling. "You know I love you, right? If something is going on, if something is bothering you, I want you to tell me. I can't help you if you don't tell me."

"What am I supposed to tell you?" Cassie refuted him. "That I freak out every time I have to talk to a client. That I hide in my hole in the wall like a mouse. that I'm so crazy after what happened that I can't tell the difference between a cat and a bobcat. Hasn't Nick told you what I've been doing with his grandma's bull?"

"His grandma hasn't said anything about the cattle beyond the birth statistics." Erin looked at her in confusion.

"Nevermind. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm just not used to having people at my house."

"You know all of us, you trust all of us. we would never hurt you." Erin reminded with certainty as he squeezed her hand. "What's going on, sis?"

"Did you know that Nick's cousin is getting married in September? They are having a huge wedding on the Rocking M Ranch with hundreds of people," Cassie revealed with a tremor of fear in her voice.

"I know," Erin answered. "You'll be safe here, no one will come here."

"Someone will. I know they will." Cassie wept as she clung to him. "They'll find, they'll hurt me."

"Cassie, no one..."

"You don't know that." She became more hysterical and all he could do was hold her until she calmed down. Finally, he murmured, "I am going to take the summer off and stay with you. When the wedding comes, we'll rent a cabin some place remote, so you won't be here."

"What about you spending time with Nick's family?" She whimpered.

"I have to be here for the wedding, but I'll come straight back to you," Erin promised.

Sitting silently, Cassie decided it was unfair to ask her brother who had done so much for her to miss the event and meeting all the people who were patrons of the Vet clinic that was his future. "No, stay in my house during the weekend. I need someone to make sure there is kibble for Niko. And Miss Priss doesn't like to stay in strange places. And... and you deserve to have fun without worrying about me all the time." She hugged him tighter for a moment before letting go and standing.

"Don't drop out of school. Running the clinic with Nick is the dream you never knew you had, like having a." She stopped herself from saying her anguish over losing a dream she never knew she wanted to her fear. "I have to find Niko and she won't come to me if you are with me. Tell Nick, his grandma sent his favorite cut of steak, there's enough in the freezer for all of us." Then she walked away. All her fiery strength and joy from singing Brunhilde gone, leaving a lopsided void within.

Erin looked after her with an aching heart. He wished there was someway to convince her she didn't have to exist alone.

During dinner, Hjalm talked about all the places his family lived and invited Cassie to visit them with him. Nick talked about all the people he knew around Pagosa County with rental properties and voiced his concern that they may be booked for the holiday weekend already. Erin spoke very little as Cassie pretended to be the perfect hostess.

When they left to go back to the ranch, Hjalm kissed her gently on the lips. "I do love you, min sangfugl."

She stared down at him in shock with her fingers on her lips as she whispered, "But what about your wife?"

"We are no longer married. She wanted me to be a popular music producer, but my love is classical music... And she was always jealous of you." His lips brushed hers again. "She always knew... I will see you tomorrow."

Cassie stared after him as he got in Nick's truck. Erin hugged her and kissed her temple. "He loves you. He looks at you the way I look at Nick. Give him a chance. You don't have to be alone forever."

After they left, she sat on the deck and ate another piece of the amazing cake Miss Elizabeth brought from her grandniece's bakery at The Wild Anemone.

Passing her lips, the cake crumbled in velvety vanilla ecstasy as the syrupy rum-soaked berries released their tangy juices across her tongue with the smoothness of the whipped cream.​ She didn't know if it was the flavor or the alcohol, but she was getting lightheaded with the need for more. Suddenly, she wished Hjalm had stayed. She had the irrational urge to kiss him like she had always wanted to, but her fear whispered to her.

"He won't hurt me, he loves me." Cassie insisted, thinking about the way he looked at her this afternoon. She repeated, giggling, "He loves me." Then she shouted, "I love you, Hjalm." It felt so good to admit it.

Inside, she began to make a list of all the reasons, she should go with Hjalm, but for every hope, her fear had an answer.  By midnight, she was so emotionally exhausted from the war in her soul that she slept without dreaming.