Chapter 1 Betrayals - Reversed Queen of Pentacles


Chapter 1 Betrayals - Reversed Queen of pentacles, five of wands, six of swords

Summer After High School...

Tim grinned as Tonia stripped for him with a nervous smile.

"Do you still think I'm beautiful?" Tonia asked then added, "That I am not fat?"

Kneeling in front of her, Tim placed his cheek against her abdomen over their baby. "You're pregnant, how could I think you were anything other than the most beautiful girl in the world."

He kissed her navel, between her breasts, her neck and then her nose as he stood up. His shoulders were finally starting to broaden into the stockier build of his family. She ran her hands over them and the lean muscles of his chest before curling them in his silky blond hair and pulling his head down to kiss her, then she pushed him backward onto the bed.

"I love you, Antonia, marry me," he murmured huskily as she crawled on top of him.

"But when?"

"Why wait?" he said as he palmed her breasts. "Next week before we move to college. If we are married, they can't make us live in the dorms."

"Yes." She laughed as she answered. "Mrs. Tim Ballard sounds amazing?"

He gave her a pouty look, teasing, "But I wanted to be Mr. Tonia Mosconi."

Giggling, she leaned forward to kiss him, "You're such an idiot, Tweedle Dim."

As they made love, Tim hesitated for a moment. It sounded like a door closed downstairs.

"What's wrong?" Tonia asked, angry that he stopped.

"I thought I heard..."

Rolling her eyes, she moved making him groan as she insisted, "No one is home. This isn't like it was in school. We won't get caught and Lloyd is gone. It's just you and me."

"You're so beautiful," he praised her, then started to say, "I can't believe we're..."

"Fuck!" the single breathed out exclamation sounded like a rifle shot as Tim rolled Tonia off of him. His cousin was standing in the door of the room wearing jeans and an olive-green Camp LeJune Marine Corps teeshirt.

"Lloyd!" Tim pulled the blanket across he and Tonia. "Lloyd, I'm sorry."

Tonia whimpered hiding behind Tim's shoulder, "I'm sorry. You left me, and Tim... I love him."

Lloyd leapt toward him punching Tim in the jaw as Tim shoved Tonia off the bed and to safety as he and his cousin rolled onto the floor. Streams of betrayed profanities burst from the cousins as they wrestled and struck each other, but Lloyd quickly pinned Tim to the floor. He punched him over and over and Tim only managed to block part of the blows. He was certain his arms would be broken by the force of Lloyd's punches as he cried out in pain through the blood leaking from his nose and lips.

"Lloyd, stop! Stop!" Tonia screamed, pulling on Lloyd's arm. "Leave him alone!" She clawed at Lloyd's neck trying to pull him off Tim, then she grabbed Lloyd's face, "Stop it, Lloyd McConnell! I love Tim and I'm pregnant."

Lloyd's arm froze in the air. Panting, he stood up and staggered away from his naked cousin and mostly naked girlfriend. He wiped the blood from his lip with the back of his hand. "What did you say?"

Tonia pulled Tim to his feet; she was wearing Tim's teeshirt now as they hugged. Tonia didn't speak as Tim tried to explain, holding a random towel from the hamper to his face.

"I love her. I'm sorry, it just happened, we didn't mean it. We were going to tell you, please, Lloyd, forgive me." Tim tightened his arms around her, as he repeated, "It just happened...And we found out today, we're going to have a baby. I'm going to marry her. We are getting married next week before we move to Boulder for college."

Lloyd looked pale under his dark tan, he gasped like he couldn't get a deep breath in. Shaking, he stared at them in betrayal. His cousin, the one who was raised as his brother, the one he trusted with his life and would have died to protect had stolen his girlfriend while he was at bootcamp and got her pregnant. "Do you have a ring yet?" The question seemed to strangle him as the words crawled out of his throat.

"No," answering, Tim couldn't shake his head, he felt dizzy like he was going to pass out or throw up or both.

Lloyd stuck his hand deep in his pocket and pulled out something gold. Tonia gasped as he tossed it on the floor with a clink at Tim's feet. "Now you do. Congratulations, you deserve each other." Lloyd turned and stormed out, stomping down the stairs like he was trying to break them.

Tim took a step forward then collapsed to his knees. "Lloyd, wait!" His head was spinning, as he fell on his side.

Tonia knelt next to him, grabbing his bicep, "Tim?"

"I think I have a concussion, call Grandpa Cordell at the clinic. Hurry," Tim whispered the last as he passed out.

Putting on her shorts, Tonia slipped on her tennis shoes and then dressed Tim in his favorite basketball shorts before running downstairs to call the McConnell Veterinarian Clinic. As Tim and Lloyd's grandmother answered, Tonia blurted out, "Granma Fern, it's Tonia. Lloyd came home early and beat up Tim when he saw us kissing. Tim is bleeding everywhere and he passed out... Lloyd left. I don't know what to do."

"Hold on, Tonia. We're coming. Keep Tim on his side until we get there," Fern ordered calmly.

Hurrying back upstairs, Tonia rolled Tim onto his side and put the towel over her lap so he wouldn't bleed on her favorite shorts. A glint of gold caught her attention. Tonia picked up the ring and put it on her finger, looking at it with a frown before she pulled it off. She hadn't expected Lloyd to come home with a ring for her because she didn't believe him when he said he would. She thought he was gone but she still had Tim. With the edge of the towel, she wiped more blood off Tim's face as she heard the McConnell grandparents arriving home.

Fat tears leaked down her cheeks as she called out, "We're up here. Help!"

"Oh gracious!" Fern gasped as Cordell bent over Tim. "What happened? Why did Lloyd do this?"

Tonia sobbed out her words, "Tim and I started dating after Lloyd left. He came home early and caught us kissing, then he attacked Tim. He just wouldn't stop hitting him."

As Cordell waved an ammonia capsule under Tim's nose, he roused. "Antonia," he murmured.

"I'm here," she whimpered. "I'm so sorry, Tim. I didn't think he'd attack you."

"The baby... Are you and the baby okay," he muttered his worry first.

"Baby?" Fern turned to Tonia with a shocked look, then demanded sternly, "Tonia, are you pregnant?"

The eighteen-year-old blond nodded. "We... uhm, we... yes."

"With Tim's baby and not Lloyd's?" The matriarch of the McConnell-Ballard clan eyed her.

"Yes," Tonia admitted.

"Fern," Cordell interrupted calmly, "We'll get this sorted later, right now we need to get Tim to the hospital. He has a broken nose and concussion, minimum. I can't treat him at the clinic this time. Tonia, sweetheart, I need you to go call 9-1-1 and tell them to send an ambulance, but just tell them Tim hit his face, not that Lloyd attacked him, or Ray will have to arrest Lloyd and it will ruin his military career. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." She hurried downstairs.

Tim groaned and reached after her, but Fern caught his hand. "Tim, do you love that girl?"

"Yes, Granma," he answered through swollen lips.

"And you want to marry her, even though she was your cousin's girlfriend and he loved her for the last two years?"

Tim felt ashamed as he admitted, "I've loved her that long too."

Fern opened her mouth to say something then snapped it closed at Cordell's look. His grandfather patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Tim. We'll get this sorted. Lloyd will come back, he'll forgive you, you're not just his cousin, you're his brother. He loves you.

"I love him too, Grandpa, I'm sorry... I'm sorry I fell in love with Antonia." He groaned as his grandfather helped him into the bed. His grandmother huffed at his statement but said nothing more.

"Fern, get the boy some ice for his face and a wet cloth to wipe off the blood." Cordell patted his shoulder then lifted his arms to look at the bruises. "And an ice pack for each arm while we wait for the ambulance."

~~~~~

Tim looked at the alimony and child support papers as he sat at his father's table. His sister Molly set a plate of steak, baked macaroni, and green beans in front of their father first. The man they loved, the one who abandoned them when their mother died because of his broken heart. Thaddeus took three small bites of each thing then rolled away from the table.

"I am going to have a nap," Thaddeus rasped out, his liver cancer had spread to his lungs and kidneys, but he refused to go to a hospital or hospice. Stopping next to Tim's daughter, Tatiana, her grandfather kissed her on the head. "You look just like your grandmother. The fairest in the land, I love you, my little angel."

then went to his room. "I love you too, Grandpapa."

Molly looked after him, with tears running down her face, then wiped them away before turning to the table with a smile. "Tatiana, would you like a bowl of ice cream?"

"Yes, Aunt Molly." The girl grinned but then there was a car horn blast from outside.

"Tadpole, your mom is here," Tim said as calmly as he could. He hated that he didn't get visitation more than one weekend a month and two hours a weekend for the rest of the month. He fought for equal custody, but Tonia's uncle was the judge on the case.

"I don't want to go home. I wanna stay with you and Molly and Grandpapa," Tatiana whined.

"Eat your ice cream quickly. I'll go talk to your mom." Tim stood and walked out.

Tonia blasted the car horn again as he walked out. Tim straightened his back as his boots crunched across the gravel of the parking pad. Her sneering glare told him all he needed to know about the hatred she held for him. A feeling that had become mutual over the last several years. He put up with so much to keep his marriage together for the sake of his daughter.

"Tonia," his feelings laced his words like the wind-fanned flames of a wildfire.

"It's 4:01, where is my daughter?" She snapped through the open window.

"Our daughter is finishing a bowl of ice cream." He retorted in kind then he inhaled and exhaled. "Please let her stay the week with her grandfather, there isn't much time left."

"Not my problem, court orders are court orders. Send Tatiana out or I will call my uncle," Tonia responded then added, "Your child support was short."

"I had to make the house payment," Tim snarled then he pushed up his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose between his eyes. "Look, I will get you the money, but my father is dying. Please, please let him know Tatiana before he dies."

"Thaddeus will die, and I don't want Tatiana traumatized by watching it. She's a little girl, only seven, and she won't even remember him in a year." Tonia glanced at the house where Molly was standing at the door with Tatiana, hugging.

Tim looked too, then turned back to his exwife and begged again, "Please Tonia, please. My father is dying. I'll do anything you want, just... please."

Tatianna was crying as she came down the steps and climbed in the back of the car.

He held onto the doorframe of the open with a shaking grip. "Please."

His exwife put up the window to make him let go, then she rubbed her fingertips together in a gesture for money before backing out.

"I love you, Tadpole." He called after the car.

Molly came down the steps and hugged him. "What are you going to do?"

Tim swallowed as he wiped his tears. "Borrow the money from Grandpa Cordell then get on my knees in front of that bitch."

"Tim, don't." Molly squeezed him tighter.

"I have to do this for Dad."

~~~~~

Tim repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fists as Pastor Nabona talked about heaven, but he didn't hear the words above Tatiana's sniffling as he clutched her to his side. Tonia stood on the other side of their daughter, dabbing her eyes. His cousin Lloyd was back from the Marines and stood proudly in his uniform. His wordless, dark glare held Tim's tourmaline eyes with bitter triumph as the funeral ended. Tim saw the way Lloyd and Tonia kept glancing at each other and fear for the cousin he betrayed clenched his heart.

As soon as Tatiana was asleep, Tim tapped on Molly's door. She was bent over her desk, crying over the college term paper she was trying to finish.

"Can you watch Tatiana?"

"Sure," Molly answered then she followed him to the door. "Where are you going?"

"To talk to Lloyd. I... I have to stop him, I have to warn him about Tonia," Tim revealed.

"Tim," Molly started to say but he held up his hand to silence her.

"I have to do this," Tim announced, then he hugged her, whispering in her hair. "I have to save him."

Walking across the homestead of the Rocking M Ranch, Tim looked at the mountains. He ached because in two weeks, he would be halfway around the world, but his heart would be here, what was left of it. He climbed the steps of his grandparents' home. Lloyd opened the door before he could knock and stepped out.

"Boys, don't you fight, and don't you come back with any bruises," Fern scolded.

"Yes, Grandma," they both answered at the same time.

"Promise me."

"I promise." They each vowed under her stern look.

Lloyd climbed into Tim's truck, and they drove across the pasture to the place by the river where they always had a bonfire as teenagers. Tim pulled out a case of beer and set it in the cold water of the river as Lloyd lit the fire. They moved around each other in silence. Tim pulled out two of the chilling bottles and handed one to Lloyd.

His dark-eyed, dark-haired cousin muttered, "Thank you... Look, I..."

"Lloyd, please, just listen. I have a lot to tell you. I am so sorry about everything."

"Tim, I don't want to do this. What's done is done."

"No, it isn't. You need to listen to me, so just sit there and shut up," Tim snapped. He gulped half his beer then belched before repeating, "I have a lot to tell you so please, I am begging you, don't talk, don't interrupt. Just listen."

Lloyd glared at him but Tim held up his hand in truce. "I know you hate me, but you need to listen. I need to tell you the truth about me and Antonia." Tim looked at the fire. He wanted to throw himself into it to burn away his guilt. "Since high school, we both loved her so much and she played us. She played me because she knew I was jealous of how popular you were. You are more than my cousin; you're my brother and I love you. I... I can't let you make the mistakes I did. I can't let her do to you what she put me through." Tim walked to the river and pulled out the case of cold beer. Walking back, he set it between them. "Miranda knew what Antonia was going to do to us. She warned us, warned me and I didn't listen. It started when we were juniors... You went with the team to State Championship, and she came over. We... we got drunk; she was my first." Tim talked about everything, from sneaking around to them hooking up the night after Lloyd left for bootcamp, then he began to tell the truth about his marriage, and how she always wanted more money.

The bitterness-laced tone of Lloyd's retort told Tim he failed before Lloyd w. "You can tell me all the stories in the world and it won't change how I feel."

"Please, Lloyd, I am trying to save you. I love you like a brother."

"Save me? After you helped yourself to the only woman I ever loved, while I was off training to be a soldier." Lloyd ground his teeth together hard enough Tim could hear him, then he flung the bottle in the last of the fire's embers. "We're done here. I'm walking back, brother," Lloyd sneered the endearment then stomped off into the dark night to walk the mile back to the homestead.

Tim wept as he finished the last two beers. He used the bucket they always kept there to pour river water on the fire until it was out and cold, like his hope to save Lloyd from the hell he had gone through.

Two weeks later, Tim hugged Molly and Fern then he boarded a plane to Denver International Airport to catch his connecting flight out of the county. His new job was the only way to pay his alimony and child support without borrowing against his family's ranch every month until Tatiana turned eighteen. He tried to sleep but he never could sleep on a plane. Twenty hours later, he got off a helicopter onto an oil platform. He put his stuff away in a footlocker at the end of his bunk and passed out from exhaustion, only to have his bed kicked a few hours later.

"Hey, gringo, dinner is serving and we're going to play some cards. Boss said it would be a good way for you to get to know us all. You want to join?"

Sitting up, Tim rubbed his scalp making his naturally curly blond hair stickup like crazy. He yawned as he asked, "Thanks. What kind of cards?"

"Poker. Do you know how to play poker?"

He didn't let himself grin as he agreed, "Sure, I think I can remember how."

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