Three years.

It's taken me three years to finish Z World.

Where do I even begin?

Hello, dear reader, and congratulations for making it to the end!

This time, I'm not joking. Z World is done, finished! #77 was actually the final chapter. Sorry for baiting you back in #49. Remember that? Haha... I'm really showing my age here.

I started this book in 2018, shortly after G had concluded. Now, I'm ending this book in 2021, shortly after both V had concluded and overDress was announced.

This book has lived through two formats... no, fifteen formats when you count everything else that technically exists. Yes, me and Shida did the maths for this.

It's been a long and arduous journey... and to finally reach the end... I am so happy.

I initially came into this Author's Note not knowing what to put down. I was staring a blank screen, continuously thinking to myself, what is there left to say?

When I thought about it, nothing came to mind. All I could conjure was a rambling monologue with no cohesive structure.

Then I thought... fuck it, that's what an Author's Note is supposed to be, right? Just a free flowing conversation... a message from me to you, my dear reader.

So play the song in the media for me one last time while reading. I think the lyrics perfectly encapsulates "me".

「I'm a mess such a wreck don't forget about it」

There were so many emotions bottled up inside of me from so long ago when I first made this that I'd love to share with you now, but when I look back and try to remember them, nothing really comes up.

Trying to dig up what I felt in the past is like trying to find a relic from the past. It doesn't really exist anymore... because the sands of time has swept it away and made it disappear. That, and I have bad memory.

It sounds stupid I know, but at the very least, the memories of working hard, working endlessly, working tirelessly, working late into the night, and agonising over finishing chapters weekly come back clearly.

I learnt to savour the pain that came from those struggles and forced myself to persevere even when my body was screaming at me to take a break. Even when my mind was manifested with stress and my eyes were tight because of sleep deprivation, I forced myself to continue writing.

It seems like a dumb idea now, and my writing probably suffered from it. But I had to do it. I had to... right?

My feelings now is different from back then. It'd be stupid if I pretended like I actually enjoyed all of this. Nah, writing books is a pain in the ass. It's way more hard than people think it is. I hate it sometimes.

It's a mental struggle. Unfortunately for me, my motivation and lazy personality are the complete antithesis of this.

That's half the battle. Trying to fight with yourself. Getting yourself to put the pen to paper.

How the fuck did I do it?

「I dragged myself through the dirt just to feel a little closer to the ground because I've always got my head up in the clouds」

No amount of words could ever describe how I truly feel. Not when I'm facing this gargantuan project that I've devoted so much time and love to. Not when even I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like a mixture of... iridescent blankness?

But I thought about it. For a long time. And I came to this conclusion.

Trying to sum up those feelings into "words" would be an insult to Z World.

That why I won't. I know what this empty, brimming, hollow, full, uncomfortable, nostalgic feeling in my chest is. I understand what this full-formed feeling is better than anyone else.

A part of me has died by finishing this book. The shitty teenager who started this tumultuous and overambitious journey is long gone, a ghost of the past, with the wind, and never ever coming back.

But at the same time, it's been filled with the relief of a mature me. The current me. A slightly more adult version of me. Someone who'll miss working on this project dearly, but ultimately, and rather crudely, wanted to get it done and over with.

It's far from a masterpiece, and it took an ugly fall like Cray's Collapse did, but I'm satisfied with the end result. Even if the edges aren't polished and the corners are worn and torn, I can say with certainty that I have no regrets doing this.

And the reason I have no regrets is because of you, the people reading and supporting me.

That's why I want to give a massive thanks to all my readers, both present, past, and ghost, for at least giving me a chance, throwing me a bone, and trying out my dumbass fan fiction from out of all the Vanguard stories out there.

Because, frankly...

「Does it feel like you're better without it? Because it looks like you're nothing without it.」

Without "Vanguard". Without "writing". Without "stories" to share with my friends...

I'm nothing. Before I realised it, writing was the thing that defined who I was. Without writing, where would I even be?

It's my passion. It's my hobby. It's my job. Throwing it away would be the same as killing myself.

Through Z World, through my writing, I got to show what makes me, me.

It's edgy. It's stupid. It's messy.

But at the same time...

It's convicted. It's crazy. It's survived longer than anything else.

Those are all positives too!

And they're all things I love about myself too.

I can't proudly show this story to strangers, but with my friends, of course I'm going to!—

Little_Cute_Cookie Thank you for always being by my side, Kicchan. You're the best partner anyone could ever ask for.

kaiishida Thank you for being my best friend, bro. Z World wouldn't be the same without your memes.

KRX350 Thank you for being my assistant, Assistant-kun. I'll try to stop overworking you so much.

And finally, to Z World itself. Thank you for teaching me how to become a better writer. I'll make sure to never repeat the same mistakes I did in here.

That includes the weekly schedule, the obscene amount of swearing, the poorly written plot points, the lack of screen time for the main characters, the crude random humour, the poorly written female characters, the lack of relevant characters fighting...

I think you get the point.

I'll close this chapter of my adolescence here, with this book.

Goodbye, Z World.

Thank you...

「The best advice I've found is don't look down!」

Onto the next...

Hello, Generations.