BAM!

"What was that?"

Inside his bunker, Ryuzu sat up in his bed immediately as he heard an explosion from the distance.

An alarm was set off, blaring throughout the metallic corridors, flashing a bright red light that submerged the CFA Moonbase in a state of terror and emergency.

Clones of Rem started running around in a panic, bumping into each other and crashing into the walls as a giant hole had been ripped through the top of the base, exposing their buff naked bodies to the cold vacuum of space.

"Master Ryuzu, we have some visitors! They breached the shields!"

The original Rem kicked open Ryuzu's bedroom door and tossed him a space gun. Catching it, Ryuzu got out of bed and suited up.

"Do we know who it is?"

Rem took a shot of vodka and smashed the shot glass on the floor.

"It is damn British. Queen and her comrades."

"What?! But they don't have the technology to break through the barrier! She designed that shield to reflect the particles used in the Requiem Jack Cannon! There's no way they could've broken through!"

The roof over Ryuzu and Rem's head had been ripped off, revealing to the pair the extensive damage dealt to their base, and by extension, the moon itself.

Towering above them was a giant mecha that looked like the British Flag personified, with the Requiem Jack Cannon attached to it's right arm and Jack the Ripper's Hook in it's left hand. Bits of rock and chunks of metal floated around it, casting a shadow over the golden cockpit.

As the debris floated away, the natural starlight illuminated the shadowy cockpit, revealing who was piloting the mecha. Inside the cockpit was the Queen of England, Queen Lizzybits.

"Ello Gov'nor."

Lizzybits' thick British accent, wrinkled smile, and psychotic eyes pierced into Ryuzu's soul as the Bloody Union Jack pointed it's Requiem Jack Cannon straight at him.

"Tell me where is the developer of Cardfight!! Area is right now."

"Don't harm him! I am right here!"

Rem stepped forward, pointing his gun back at the Bloody Union Jack.

"Not you minger. I mean the real developer of Cardfight!! Area. Do you take me for a numpty? You absolute pillock. For trying to make a mockery out of the Queen, go suck your mum, you twat wanker!"

Lizzybits pointed the cannon at Rem and fired a huge stream of scorching hot tea at him. Ryuzu leapt, tackling Rem out of the way.

"Master Ryuzu!"

Rem stretched out his hand, but it was too late. Once the beam of tea had cleared, Ryuzu was the one hit by it. He writhed on the floor, soaked and burned by the devastating tea beam.

"Vladislav... go... go save her... before she... she gets to her..."

Weakly, Ryuzu's last breaths before collapsing urged Rem to run.

"MASTER RYUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

"You weren't my intended target... bollocks. Fine then, twat wanker, do you know where the real developer is?"

"In Mother Russia..."

"You're taking the piss right?"

"...TEA DRINKS YOU!"

Rem fired his gun at the Bloody Union Jack.

"Excuse me? I'll have you know, I am—"

Firing from his gun a huge stream of scorching hot tea, the exact same attack Queen Lizzybits used to knock Ryuzu out. Rem's weapon had the power to mimic an attack and fire it back at the origin, like a mirror.

Using that as his distraction, Rem escaped down the corridor, went down the central elevator, entered the pin for access, crawled down the hatch, and ended up in the deepest and most inner parts of the CFA Moonbase where one Russian girl, with long white hair that covered one of her diamond blue eyes, was sleeping peacefully in her chair while surrounded by the flickering blue lights of her computer monitors.

Hearing Rem's heavy footsteps, the girl yawned, opening her eyes.

"Vladislav...?"

"Shh, just go back to sleep comrade."

"Mm... is it time to release the update yet...?"

"No. It is time to, as Americans would say... "get the fuck out of here"."

Rem plugged in a car key in one of the slots in the computer and twisted it. The room started to transform, shedding the layers that made it attached to the Moonbase and compacting itself into a triple layered pod.

Blasting out of the bottom of the moon, the pod fell down to Earth like a Shooting Star.

(Opening here)

One year had passed.

"This is the place, huh?"

Ryuusei was standing in front of a rusty gate with a titanium lock pad on it. He grabbed the lock and snapped it off.

"That was disappointing."

He tossed the lock away into the puddle of sewer water that trickled down from the ceiling. Pulling the gate back, Ryuusei entered inside.

"This place still looks like a shit hole."

Wafting the thick smoke away, Ryuusei walked past underground cardfighters who were either fighting or hanging around. Being a newcomer, he got looks and stares, but his bleach white hair, blood red eyes, and charming smile scared them off.

Wandering around the underground for a bit, he finally navigated his way to the bar. Sitting down by the counter, he sighed. The bartender, Yama Matsusada, approached him while cleaning some shot glasses.

"What can I get you?"

"You guys serve whiskey?"

"Course we do. You name it, we have it."

"Hit me with that shit."

Yama nodded. He put down the glass he was cleaning and poured a shot for him. Sliding it over, Ryuusei took it, smelled it, and smashed it against Yama's head. The jazz music stopped and everyone in the bar was staring at them.

"The fuck is your problem? I asked for whiskey, not bourbon. Don't pour me the wrong shit on purpose, jackass."

Yama laughed, picking out the shards of glass stuck in the side of his head, before wiping the blood that trickled down his face with a towel. Pouring a bottle of cheap alcohol on the cuts, Yama smiled through the burning pain.

"You're not a regular, are you?"

"Huh, I wonder what that gave it away Sherlock. Now, give me some fucking whiskey."

"Not with that attitude. Nobody waltzes into the underground on a whim without learning the rules first."

"Fuck off, I know what the rules are. First rule of the underground, you don't talk about the underground. Second rule of the underground, winner takes all. Third rule of the underground..."

Ryuusei's blood red eyes flashed dangerously as a creepy smile emerged on his face.

"There are no rules."

His index finger pierced Yama's eye, gouging out the eyeball effortlessly. Yama screamed as he lost all sight in his left eye. Ryuusei slowly plucked his finger out, coated in blood and dripping in a goopy pink membrane. As he did, Yama immediately covered his eye that was bleeding like a waterfall.

"Y-you bastard... what the fuck was that for?! I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"Not if I do first, bitch."

Ryuusei laughed as he crushed the bloodshot whites of Yama's mutilated eyeball between his thumb and index finger.

"Hey, Yama, are you... o-okay?"

Kanata came running over the moment Ryuusei savagely attacked Yama. However when he saw Ryuusei, Kanata's face dropped.

"Kanata... get me a doctor... shit, fuck!" Yama cursed as the pain in his hollow eye socket reached the back of his head.

"Oi, Kanata. Do me a favour and pour me a glass of whiskey. This fucking idiot couldn't even do that right."

"Y-yes... King..."

Yama's other eye widened as he heard that.

"What the hell... what the fuck do you mean, King?! I'm gone for one day and this happens?! Kanata, didn't you tell me Kuro came back just yesterday?! Why is this lunatic King?!"

Yama screamed as the pain continued to spread throughout his entire skull. Kanata gulped, jumping over the counter and pouring a shot of whiskey for Ryuusei.

"No... Kuro came back to tell us what he's been doing for the past year. All the knights, except me and Shigaraki, followed him."

"H-he left...? K-Kuro... h-he abandoned us...?!"

"That's not all, Yama. Since Kuro had moved on from the underground, Hayato abandoned what he said about keeping the throne for Kuro and declared that the strongest fighter in the underground can take it. Theoretically, it should've been Shigaraki, but..."

"I beat him." Ryuusei smiled, drinking the shot of whiskey and spitting it at Kanata's face. He smashed the glass onto the floor.

Kanata whimpered, wiping away the whiskey mixed with spit concoction from his cheek.

"No one stood a chance against him... he beat everyone, me included. That's how he became the new King of the Underworld. The Zero Damage Killer, Ryuusei Kirukiru."

"Z-Zero Damage Killer...?" Yama muttered while shaking.

"I'll be glad to show you why they call me that first hand." Ryuusei took out his deck, tossing it up and down. Catching it, he squeezed hard with a smile.

"Fuck you... I'll fight you, beat you, claim the throne for myself, and then kick you the fuck out!" Yama exclaimed, shuffling his deck with his bloodstained hands. Kanata made a makeshift eyepatch out of his scarf and wrapped it over Yama's hollow eye.

"Idiots never learn. How fast do you think we can kill them this time, Glendios?"

Ryuusei's blood red eyes started glowing wildly as the ghastly silhouette of Glendios flashed behind him.

"Stand up, (the!) Vanguard!"

"Star-vader, Worldline Dragon!" Ryuusei exclaimed.

"Ancient Dragon, Pterakid!" Yama exclaimed.

Kanata watched with jittering eyes. Ryuusei rode to Cosmo Wreath and passed turn.

"I ride, Iguanogorg! With a boost, go get him!"

"No guard. My turn, I call Quark Shoebill and attack with Wreath."

"One to pass."

"Drive check!" Ryuusei pulled a draw trigger. "All effects to Shoebill."

"Huh? The attack won't hit that way, idiot."

"I know."

"So you're damage starving me? Fucking pussy."

"Yama, don't underestimate him..." Kanata warned.

"Nah, let him do what he wants. That way, it'll be funnier that way when he sees how he loses." Ryuusei grinned.

"Why should I be scared of him, huh? He's nothing more than a cheap punk who's too scared to deal damage!"

"I ripped out your fucking eye, dumbass."

"Come on then, rip out my other one!"

"Your death wish." Ryuusei lunged forward, nearly poking Yama's other eye out. He diverted his finger away at the last second.

"Fuck you, cunt!" Yama cocked his head to the side unnecessarily and responded with a left hook, which Ryuusei deflected with the back of his forearm.

"Not bad reflexes, for an old man." Ryuusei sniggered.

"You missed this time, little bitch." Yama snarled.

"You're thick as shit. Didn't you realise I missed on purpose?" Ryuusei blew the tip of his finger like it was a smoking gun.

"Stop fucking around with me and start playing seriously!" Yama slammed the table in anger seeing Ryuusei's cocky smile.

"I am playing seriously."

"No you're not! You didn't make the attack hit and you didn't ride to grade 2! You're pussying out on me to piss me off!"

Ryuusei laughed at his ridiculous claim. Kanata panicked, holding Yama back.

"H-he's not kidding! King is playing seriously!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Yama shoved Kanata away. "I ride, Ancient Dragon, Tyrannobite and call Triplasma! Attack!"

"No guard, come and crit me."

"Gladly will!" In one suave motion, Yama put his hand on the top of his deck, slipped a card from inside his jacket sleeve on top, grabbed the card, and flipped it over. "Dinodile, critical trigger! Trisplama, another one!"

"Sure thing." Ryuusei now had four damage.

"It's only turn 2 but you're in killing range! Even if you damage deny me so I can't activate Limit Break, I have this!" Yama laughed, revealing Tyrannoblaze, the Tachikaze Limit Break 4 enabler.

Kanata started to sweat as he saw Yama get even cockier.

"Bite your tongue a little longer. Worldline's skill. Then, Strike Star-vader, Krypton, ride! Next I call two Star-vader, Cold Death Dragon! Both of their skills activate, I counterblast to make you lock the top card of your deck, twice."

"I'll slap them in the back row."

"Good. Krypton, attack Triplasma!"

"No guard!"

"Turn end."

Ryuusei had a sizeable amount of hand, but Yama got to ride to grade 3 first.

"Like a whirring machine cog, the buzzsaws of death furiously spin forward and crash into the enemy! Devout yourself to hurling and murder, my avatar! I ride, Ancient Dragon, Spinodriver! I call, Tyrannoblaze, Beamankylo, and Hypnohang! Beamankylo first! His skill, +3k!"

"No guard." Ryuusei was pushed to five damage.

"Spinodriver attacks!" Yama put his hand on top of his deck immediately and slipped two cards from inside his jacket sleeve on top.

Ryuusei glanced at Yama's shifty hand and smirked.

"Cosmo Wreath, perfect guard."

Yama narrowed his eyes. Flipping the two cards over, they were both critical triggers.

"All on Hypnohang! Hypnohang attacks, 3 critical!"

"Magellanic Stream guards."

"Hypnohang's skill! I retire Beamankylo and restand him! Boosted by Tyrannoblaze, Hypnohang attacks again, 3 critical!"

"Cosmo Wreath, perfect guard."

"Lucky punk. Turn end."

"I'm the lucky one? You must be mistaken." Ryuusei picked up the top card of his deck. "People don't cheat unless they're feeling lucky."

"Aww, boohoo, I got found out. Who gives a shit? This is the underground. Get some thicker skin, bitch boy!"

"A story that never ends. A world that lives on repeat. A universe that goes on infinitely. Erase it all, my avatar! I ride, Star-vader, "Omega" Glendios!" Ryuusei exclaimed, the vanguard circle expanding void of colour. "Unleashing the Generation Zone! This is an ending that never ends. A story that continues forever. Repeat it on loop, the infinite omega! Generation Stride, Death Star-vader, "Omega Loop" Glendios!"

Ryuusei smiled insanely as the ghastly figure of "Omega Loop" Glendios emerged behind him, bound in black rings rimmed in red.

"I call, the Servant of Яeverse, Star-vader, "Яeverse" Cradle! With this evil weapon in my hands, I can now revive the "Яeverse" units who had fallen in the Great Vanguard War. Return to your master, the Harem of Glendios! I call! Cleanup Celestial, Ramiel "Яeverse"! Maiden of Venus Trap "Яeverse"! Silver Thorn Dragon Queen, Luquier "Яeverse"! Broken Heart Jewel Knight, Ashlei "Яeverse"! And with these five "Яeverse" units, I activate "Omega Loop" Glendios' skill! I counterblast two and G Persona Blast! You lock the top card of your deck face down equal to the number of "Яeverse" units I have!"

Yama gritted his teeth as his entire board was locked with five cards.

"And since I'm at five damage... OMEGA LOCK."

Glendios' hand reached out and crushed Yama's head. Yama flinched, falling onto one knee as the dizzying sensation of his brain being squeezed together infiltrated his pounding head.

The experience was so surreal and phantasmic, a scream refused to come from Yama's tight throat, but the rigid pain of his brain's membrane being squashed and played with tortured his melting mind.

"Do you understand, yet?"

Ryuusei towered over Yama. Tilting his chin up, Ryuusei laughed into Yama's sodden face. Yama quivered like a confused baby.

"Your soul belongs to me."

Glendios dragged his hand out of Yama' head. In his hand was the orb of Yama's soul, coloured brick red. Ryuusei picked it up and put it against his lips.

"Glendios' Ultimate Break! Since you have five locked rear-guards—!"

Ryuusei took a bite out of Yama's soul.

"I WIN THE GAME. SOUL END."

Yama shivered as he felt a core part of himself disappear in that moment. Falling to the floor lifelessly, Yama's soul had been fully devoured by Ryuusei. Licking his fingers, Ryuusei dusted his hands and smirked.

"That was a fine lunch. Thanks for the fresh meat. Oh, you can keep the money. Use it to pay your medical bills or something."

Ryuusei prodded the crack of Yama's butt with his foot. Kanata backed away slowly, not wanting to get involved anymore with Ryuusei and his sadistic tendencies. The other patrons of the bar had learnt a very significant lesson that day.

"Well, this is now boring. Mineta's not here to lick my boots clean either, huh? This shit house really needs more bitches. What a fucking sausage party. Make me a mental note to get some strippers or something down here will you, Kanata?"

"Y-yes sir! I would be glad to!" Kanata groaned as he became Ryuusei's new lapdog as Mineta had run away.

"Good shit. I'm fucking off now, I have some business on the surface I need to take care of. Dumb fucking perverts ruining my day. See you nerds later, peace."

Ryuusei flicked the back of his hand at his underground subjects and left. Kanata breathed a sigh of relief.

"I don't get paid enough for winning..."

1

Queen Lizzybits sat regally in her golden throne inside Buckingham Palace, impatiently waiting for the results of Big Shacc's and Assknee's search for the escapee Rem.

The medieval double doors swung open, revealing Big Shacc in his signature black puffer jacket and his younger brother Assknee standing by his side. Making gun fingers with a straight face and crossing his arms, Shacc greeted Lizzybits bare casj.

"Wagwan my G, mans just came back from the search, you get me? Mans tried to link up with the Putindem but they weren't having it cos they drunk on the vodka tings. Anyways, the Chickenator 3000 broke down while mans was skrrting the ting, it don't take well to mad space pressure, ya done kno. It looks bare manky now, someone need to check the ting, see if is still fresh, cor."

"Blimey, I'll have someone fix the Chickenator in a second. Drive more safely will you, Shacc of the large variety?"

"Mans swear on the stu that I won't go Audi on the ting no more. Also babes, is Big Shacc yea, not Shacc of the large variety. Don't compare mans to chip sizes blud, does mans look like food to you?"

"Haven't you heard the rumours that I might be a cannibal? Bloody hell. Anyways, my sincere apologies, Big Shacc. It's just, on your CV, it says your name is Shacc of the large variety."

Big Shacc flipped the cap off Assknee's head when he heard that.

"Assknee you wasteman bruv, I told you to not put my full name down!"

"Yo chill fam, mans sorry, I thought you said to put the full ting down, so mans typed it all out raw innit."

"Fam, get that Ramsey shit outta here you dickhead. This is bare peak bruv, now the Queen of England knows mans name is Shacc Variety innit, that's not raaaaaaah bruv."

"Oh, I see now. Ofthelarge is your middle name."

"Correct bruv. Is an African ting innit, bap bap."

"Is not African bruv, our mum just can't spell Othello innit."

"Aye, hold tight my fantasies yea, is not mans fault mum dunno to write proper bruv. You mans better put some respeck on her name, she gave birth to us dickhead."

"Mans not dissing mum, she makes mad jollof, I'm just saying she can't spell bruv."

"Oh shut up! Mans cant either, just shut up fam. Stop acting all smart cos you got a D in your GCSEs bruv!"

"That D was in English too, fuck you bruv! Without me, you mans wouldn't be able to get a job! You can't even type on a computer with your chubby fingers you bastard!"

"Mans never types, mans too good to do the hard labour innit. You mans taking the piss, while you sit behind the screen, shivering and shaking and all that, mans out here on my grind for the Queen! Fucking wasteman."

"Ahem. Will you two muppets shut up? I called you here to listen to your report on locating Rem, not your childish bickering."

Shacc and Assknee turned to the pissed Queen.

"My bad babes. Mans won't let it happen it again, swear down."

"You better, or else I'm firing the two of you."

"Allow it fam! Anyways, that wasteman Rem still hiding bruv, we couldn't find the ting anywhere in space. Mans not on the moon either, Assknee checked that."

"This search was a stinker bruv. We found no clues. I think Rem's landed somm'ere on Earth, like Russia or some ting. Mans doesn't know tho, mans failed geography."

"Get fucked bruv, mans got an E in that subject! Suck my dick bruv!"

"Allow it fam, we're brothers, I'm not on the homo ting, you get me!"

"I see, thank you for your intel report. It seems that it's become necessary to use more forceful measures. I'll have to bring in the Knights of the Diamond Table."

"Diamond Table? Mans thought it was Round Table, swear down."

"If this war is going down in the history books, I want my troops to have it's own distinct name instead of rehashing an old name people love and then butchering it, like Disney."

"So you remix the ting, fair nuff bruv. Who these wankers then?"

"Introduce yourself, the King of the Knights of the Diamond Table."

The medieval double doors swung open again. Shacc and Assknee stepped back as Kuro, in a regal guard uniform, walked down the royal red carpet leading to the base of the Queen's elevated golden throne.

"Bruv, is this mans who I think it is?" Assknee whispered.

"Yea bruv, is the tosser who got beaten by bossman himself!" Shacc whispered back.

Kuro stopped midway, and glanced at Shacc and Assknee.

"Permission to fire at the simpletons, Her Majesty?"

"Permission granted."

Kuro turned around, pointing his right arm at Shacc and Assknee. Rolling up the sleeve of his suit to reveal a bio-mechanical arm that had been surgically attached, he transformed it into a mini-pulse cannon, similar to the Requiem Jack.

His left eye energised, glowing bright purple. It too had been mechanically replaced. Using the crosshairs downloaded into his brain, Kuro fired a round of plasma balls at Shacc and Assknee, who barely dodged it by jumping out of the way.

"You fucking wasteman bruv, you wanna fookin scrap yea? Oi, Shacc, this chink's down in mans ends and thinks he can beat us cos he has some fancy shmancy metal arm bruv, mans laughing bare hard right now innit, raaaah. Nah, fuck this terminator pussy ass looking rip off fam, this wasteman's gonna get shanked up bruv, I swear down!"

Assknee pulled out a plastic spoon from inside his pocket and pointed it at Kuro. Shacc laughed, pointing gun fingers at Kuro with a straight face.

"You chose the wrong day to fuck with us blud. Mans hadn't had his fried chicken yet, and mans was gon go to the shop and cop an extra wing from the bossman cos I paid all my taxes recently like a good Bri'ish citizen bruv. You come and try to step to me in my own city? Listen here blud. I don't think you have the facilities for that. Pussyhole!"

"That was a warning shot. Don't you dare mention that humiliating loss to Kidani around me ever again, unless you want me to actually aim at your head." Kuro threatened.

"Cease fire, Kuro. Big Shacc, Assknee, from today onwards, Kuro is to be your superior. You will listen to him and you will stand down to him."

"What?! That's ridiculous bruv, mans only just met him and he's already firing tings at my fresh crepes! Mans only got these Nikey Air Max 90s like yesterday bruv! These designer tings cost a madness, ya done kno!"

"You must be aware of how sensitive Kuro is when it comes to that subject. Respect his boundaries, and he will respect yours. I didn't choose him to be head of this operation for any old reason, you know."

"Raaaaaah fam, allow it. Fine then, mans will only respeck the Churro cos the Queen told me to, skrrrrah."

"It's Kuro."

"Asian names are bare difficult to pronounce bruv, mans not tryna disrepeck your culture innit. Mans just saying it with the African accent, is like Churro bruv."

Kuro sighed, ignoring them as he continued to the Queen. At the base of her throne, he knelt before her. Queen Lizzybits drew her sword and tapped each of his shoulders with it as a blessed greeting. Once she was done, Kuro stood to his feet saluting.

"Her Majesty, abiding to your humble request, I have gathered support from my home country of Japan, handpicking the most elite knights that have devoted loyalty to me, and by extension, with this hand, to you as well!"

Entering through the double doors were the remnants of the underground's Knights of the Round Table: Hayato, Saaya, Kurumi, Akiyo, Toshinori, Nin, Shinzo, Daiki, and Yahame, all wearing the same guard uniform as Kuro.

The collective nine Knights of the Diamond Table bowed deeply before the Queen, taking the knee.

"We swear and pledge loyalty to you, and you exclusively, o fair and righteous noble lord. Bound by an oath of dedication, we will carry out any mission we humbly receive from you, Her Majesty." They all said at the same time.

"That, is what I like to hear." The Queen knighted them all with her sword.

"Her Majesty, may you please so graciously explain to the uninitiated what this long and arduous battle ahead of us will entail?" Kuro asked.

"It would be a pleasure. For decades, I have been long irritated by the one thing that has swept all nations across the globe. This craze and fanaticism for something so vulgar and obscene has both perplexed and disgusted me to my very core. I have long hated how that, in this modern age of new-fangled technology and scientific discoveries, one traditional way of entertainment has still somehow survived and even thrived to become a global phenomenon, all because of one seemingly unsolved and unexplainable world-spread event that has captured the imagination of the masses. That, what I am referring to, would be the bloody Яeverse incident."

The Queen sighed exasperatedly as she recalled what had happened nearly four years ago.

"A vile, sickening, and evil disease. That is what the Яeverse is. I'll never forgive it as long as I draw breath. Just like a virus, the Яeverse spread itself by using the people of my kingdom, wreaking havoc and causing riots on the streets of London. Peace had been stolen from me. I'd even go so far as to say this was the second coming of the Black Plague; a modern equivalent. Those affected by the Яeverse went insane with warped delusions and twisted personalities. I had no choice but to hide in fear, forced to watch what was happening to my kingdom from afar. Bitterly and helplessly, I saw the world crumble like sand before my eyes. As I did, I finally realised it. The thing that I hated most of all was being used as a vehicle to spread the Яeverse. Cardfight!! Vanguard was the reason this country was going to shite."

"Are you sure it's not Brexit?" Yahame casually asked.

"Kuro. Send that cunt to the pit."

"Yes, Her Majesty."

Like a robot following his master's orders, Kuro got up and walked over to Yahame, handcuffing him.

"Hang on a second, that was a joke! Kuro, please, don't do this!"

"Shut up. You're a prisoner of the Queen now. Be thankful she didn't execute you on the spot for your snide comment, because I would've."

"Have fun." The Queen waved goodbye as Kuro dragged Yahame outside of the throne room and into the executioners room.

Once inside, Kuro threw Yahame into the pit, making him land on a bed of hay that was surrounded by pools of fresh blood and a pile of decomposing human bones. Laying across from Yahame was a giant feral lion sleeping in the corner, it's fangs stained red.

"N-no way..." Yahame shrunk, crawling away from the lion, hitting his back against the wall. "This is... the pit?"

"Have fun with Her Majesty's favourite feline. The Pussy."

"Kuro, don't do this to me! I'm one of your guys! You know I didn't mean it! Let me the fuck out, right now!" Yahame screamed in fear, trying to claw his way out.

"I'll release you from the pit later. If you're still alive, that is."

Kuro slammed the hatch on Yahame and returned to the throne room.

"Her Majesty, the traitor has been taken care of."

"Good. The rest of you, take what you have just witnessed as a lesson. I am not afraid to get rid of you at a moment's notice if you bare your fangs at me. You swore the oath of loyalty, and thus you shall abide by it."

"Yes, Her Majesty!" The remaining nine knights and the brothers exclaimed.

"I hate Vanguard with a burning passion. It has been a pain in this country's backside not once, but twice! After the Яeverse incident had been settled, another bloody one emerges! Do you all want to know why Big Ben stopped working? It was because a Vanguard card was stuck between it's gears! Thankfully, it works now, but having this country be humiliated again on live TV across the world as we shut down our great monument Big Ben was a complete mockery of my rule! The amount of memes I was tagged in was deplorable! We are Great Britannia! Not some third world peasant country! We had the world's largest empire! It is UNACCEPTABLE that our greatest downfall as a nation would be a fucking children's card game!"

The Queen hit her throne angrily. She coughed, her cheeks going pink from embarrassment.

"Excuse my foul use of language. Someone needs to take accountability for what has happened to us. If Bushiroad won't do it, then I'll have to make them do it myself. And what's the best way to do that? To completely destroy what makes their company so popular in the first place."

Taking out a Vanguard card from her purse, the Queen ripped it in half.

"The first step towards that goal is obliterating CFA! The last known Vanguard simulator in the world! By destroying it, we will make all the dirty free to play players quit this game! That's about 90% of their user base!"

Cocking her head back, the Queen squealed in a raw, ecstatic, elderly cackle. Spluttering from nearly choking on her own laughter, she looked back at her loyal subjects with a conceited smile.

"We will make Vanguard disappear from this world! For I am..."

The Queen went woke.

"The Anti-Vanguard."

2

Kidani and Hanafi stood across each other inside the TRUE STRONG MAN office in Bushiroad HQ.

"I looked forward in time, and I saw 14,000,605 futures." Hanafi said.

"In how many futures is doing the reboot a good idea?" Kidani asked.

"One."

"Then it is decided. Vanguard shall be rebooting."

"B-but Kidani, didn't you hear what I just said?! The reboot fails in 14,000,604 futures! Choosing to reboot Vanguard will result in one of them!"

"Hanafi, you're an underpaid intern handling our Twitter account. Your meme reason, while funny, won't sway me."

"Okay, but I'm not lying about being a multiverse traveller! I'm not joking! I've travelled to a world where Vanguard reboots, and...!"

"And?"

"If I tell you, then... I'll be messing with the fabric of space and time and possibly alter the future of this timeline! If I do that, the time police will get me... I already have a warrant for crossing the border to another universe, I'm skating on thin ice here!"

"All I heard is that you don't actually have an explanation. Now, please leave my office before I call security. After work hours is my precious idol time, and you're taking valuable milliseconds away from it."

Hanafi, pushed into a corner by Kidani, gritted his teeth and shook his head. Slamming his hands on the table, Hanafi got on his knees and pleaded by prostrating himself.

"If I tell you that Percival makes Gurguit tier 0 in the future, will you believe me?! Or that the Phantom Blaster Dragon superior ride in Luard made half the player base quit?! Or that, in the reboot, a literal turd dino breaks Tachikaze?! Is this enough proof for you?!"

"They all seem like amazing ideas that I'll be sure to add to the reboot."

"Kidani, please, no! Please keep G, with it's insane power-creep and dump loops! It's way better and more tame than anything the reboot makes in the future! After this reboot, you'll reboot again! Clans die for our sins! Nation fights is the new normal! Magallanica merges with Zoo! Do you want that, Kidani?!"

"Hanafi. I'm sure you're a nice young man with a lovely family and a passion for Vanguard. That's why you care so much."

Kidani put both his hands on Hanafi's slumped shoulders.

"However, you have crossed a line today. I'm sorry, but Bushiroad can't let a spy like you stay within our ranks."

Hanafi's eyes widened as Kidani pointed at the door.

"You're fired."

"H-huh......?"

A single tear ran down Hanafi's left cheek.

"I-I'm not a spy... n-no, please! Give me a second chance, I beg you! Being Intern-kun is my dream job!"

"The 4chan leaks have been getting out of hand. I can't take anymore chances, for the sake of the Vanguard's future. Even if you really are innocent, the fact that you have top secret information is more than enough reason to terminate you from our company. Your memory will be wiped and you'll live as if none of this ever happened. Sayonara, Hanafi Kagurai."

Two bodyguards entered the room immediately, grabbing one of Hanafi's skinny arms each, and pulling him out of Kidani's office by force.

"TAKAAKI KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU'LL REGRET THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"

Hanafi screamed as he was being dragged away and removed from Bushiroad HQ. Kidani didn't look back as he pulled out a crumpled, small, square shaped photo from his pocket. Opening it up, he stared at it with bleak and narrowed eyes.

It was a photo of an SP Revonn signed by Kidani pinned in the middle of a Satanic ritual circle drawn in blood. Small blue flames lighted each triangular shaped corner of the upside down pentagon shaped star.

"The anti-reboot cult inside Bushiroad finally made their move, huh...? To think they want to keep G and it's power-creep by seizing control of the company from me... who would've thought I'd have to deal with this in my career?"

Crumpling the photo in his hand, he stashed it inside his inner suit pocket. Taking out a cigarette, Kidani lit it, taking a long smoke.

"At the very least... I hope Rem-chan is having better luck than I am dealing with those bastards."

3

"Cheers!"

Inside a hot tub at the Mikazuchi Mansion, Yza and Ryuzaki clinked glasses of wine against each other.

"To the most famous ero author of our generation, who's also my best friend!" Ryuzaki exclaimed.

"To the richest man in the universe, who's coincidentally also my best friend!" Yza exclaimed.

The two chugged their glasses and threw them against the wall, smashing them as they made monkey noises together and unga bunga'd in the hot tub.

"THIS IS THE LIFE!"

"TWO BROS CHILLING IN A HOT TUB!"

"TWO FEET APART!"

"CUZ THEY'RE NOT GAY!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"I am so glad Payic is helping her old man at their restaurant today. If she was here, she'd kill me for the mess we're making."

"Who's gonna clean it up though? Maverick's on a date with his girlfriend tonight and Inu's visiting that maid cafe your sister works at."

"Fucking Iku, what a simp. I can't believe my sister is actually working at that place... I guess insulting people for a living works for her."

"I'm more surprised Maverick actually had a girlfriend. I thought that was a joke..."

"Same, he kept that shit hidden better than that time I put Ultima back inside Big Ben."

"Ah, London... I remember going there when my dad was still alive."

"Does it suck as much as it does in Fate? Can't be a card game protagonist without a bad dad."

"Damn straight. Oh God, what if my son is a card game protagonist in the future?"

"You're going to die a horrible and sudden death at the age of 25. Write your will now buddy."

"I can't die! I'm too young to die! I have a lifetime worth of porn to write ahead of me!"

"Well, it's either that or being a bad father."

"Oh God, please say it's not true..."

"Hi bad dad, my name is Ryuzaki, the solution to all your problems!"

"Not funny! Actually, wait, you're right."

"I am?"

"Bro, if my son hates me in the future, do me a favour and become his mentor."

"Aight, bet. I'll teach him the ways of loving huge breasts and MILFs. That motherfucker will learn to appreciate older woman."

"Right on brudda. We don't allow lolicons in this household."

Yza and Ryuzaki shared a fist bump.

"Pass me that cup ramen will you?"

"Shit, it is done cooking already?"

"Fuck if I know, I'm just hungry."

Yza handed Ryuzaki one of the cup ramen they prepared earlier to snack on. Slurping it up, Ryuzaki nodded with a thumbs up.

"Yep, cooked to perfection. Go eat it while it's still good bro."

"Ooh baby, time to dig in!"

"Huh, do you think your current diet of instant noodles is the reason you'll die at 25?"

"I think I'd rather be a bad dad than quit eating ramen."

"Simpler solution is to not have kids, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but Rukia wants some. She says she wants three children! Three! I love fucking her, but three children is way too much!"

"Get rekt nerd. I got the good wife, Payic only wants one kid. Her mom traumatised her when she was little about giving birth."

"Yikes, talk about bad parenting."

"Hey, at least you know one thing not to do then."

"Does it look like I have tits?"

"From this angle, sort of."

"Aye, fuck you."

"Hit the gym bro, I wanna scare people with Wideza. Who needs to hire security when I can get you to stand outside my mansion and make people scream in horror at a buff version of you?"

"Nah, fuck that. You could pay me like a million an hour and I'd still refuse. Standing outside your house sounds like the most boring thing imaginable. Jacking it off to NTR ugly bastard rape porn would be more fun!"

"I dunno about that one chief, but I can actually do a million an hour pay rate."

"You're too fucking rich."

"I know I am. Man, my kid's gonna grow up hella spoilt and it'll be my fault."

"Donate that shit to charity bro, make the world a better place."

"I could, but I save the money in the bank in case the writers need an excuse to fund a big dumb project."

"Fair. Hey, maybe you should invest in stadium infrastructure. Steel pipes crippled Maxios like... four years ago? Damn."

"Hey, that's offensive. God we're getting old..."

"I think we peaked during our youths. Nothing can beat saving the world twice and meeting Kidani in the flesh."

"Fucking same. I got to travel around the world, rub Ultima on my balls, and become friends with a Bri'ish serial killer. Today's a Chewsday, innit?"

"I don't know whether to laugh or be offended as a half English person."

"Huh, I don't know either. I wish something exciting would happen."

"Same. Something juicy to spice up our vanilla lives."

"Do you want me to bust out the Rod of Plot Development?"

"Last time you did that, Hanafi was spawned into the universe."

"Fuck, that's true. Can't argue against that logic."

"Maybe if we wait patiently, something will drop into our laps?"

A pod crashed into the Mikazuchi Mansion's backyard.

"I jinxed us."

"You fucking jinxed us."

The pod's door opened, releasing a large cloud of steam. Stepping out was Rem in all of his bald Russian glory.

"O Comrades, thank Babushka, I found you two!"

"Oh shit, it's Rem! The finale is us fighting him, just like in the prologue!" Ryuzaki exclaimed.

"That's cyclical structure! Holy shit, maybe Fox is a good writer after all!" Yza exclaimed.

"What's with the space gear? Dad hook you up on a space adventure?"

"Comrade Ryuzaki, there is many things that I need to tell you. Firstly though..."

Rem looked behind him and bowed deeply.

"Comrades. I am sorry. Me and Master Ryuzu have lie to you for sake of protecting real Rem."

Yza nearly choked on his ramen. Ryuzaki spat out his wine.

"REAL REM?!" They exclaimed.

"Yes. My name isn't Rem. It is Vladislav. I am real Rem's bodyguard. Person Comrade Ryuzaki kill was me. Not her. I was one that got cloned."

Vladislav stepped aside, letting the real Rem step forward. She yawned tiredly, hugging her plushie close to her large chest.

"Mm... are these the comrades Ryuzu said we should turn too...?"

Yza and Ryuzaki broke into unintelligible screaming and monkey noises. Their neurones had been activated.

"REM-CHAN, REM-CHAN, REM-CHAN!" They chanted together.

"SHE'S A CUTE ANIME GIRL!" Yza exclaimed.

"I SUDDENLY LOVE CFA'S SHUFFLER!" Ryuzaki exclaimed.

"Ryuzaki, look away, I'm about to do something no man should ever do!"

"Bro, I won't snitch if you won't snitch, if you simp, I simp!"

"Deal! It's a fucking deal! God, if you exist, let me motorboat her huge Russian tiddies!"

"I wish I was the plushie she's pushing against her boobs right now!"

"Is it socially acceptable to divorce your wife after being married to her for less than a year?"

"Fuck yes. I'll tell Rukia, you tell Payic. From today onwards, we're married to Rem-chan!"

"Hi Payic, Ryuzaki's divorcing you because a hot Russian MILF dropped by in his backyard. Literally."

"Hello Rukia? ZeKia is new canon, you never gave Yza the world ending succ. Btw, Rem-chan is new best girl, eat your heart out."

"I like how we agree that Rem-chan is our waifu. Sharing is caring."

"I serve the Soviet Union. I get her weekdays, you get her weekends."

"That doesn't seem very communist of you, cumrade."

"You're an author, you need those extra days to write, cumrade. Do you want to end up like Fox?"

"God, anything but that. Actually, this gives me an idea! A doujin that's about a threesome with a Russian MILF set in a hot tub!"

"Say no more. I'll take your entire stock."

"Vladislav, do you understand what they're saying? I can't..." Rem mumbled.

She could only speak Russian and English. She didn't know any Japanese.

"It's better if you don't know. For now, let's join them, we have lots to discuss."

"Okay..."

Vladislav unzipped his gopnik tracksuit and entered the hot tub casually. Rem put her plushie next to the tub and began stripping her dress. Yza's towel started to float in the hot tub.

"Something's rising and it's not the shield hero."

"Weak."

"Stfu, girls undressing is sexy."

Rem, completely naked, entered the hot tub carefully. Her breasts swayed as she dipped into the water, sending Ryuzaki's towel floating in the tub.

"Something other than my bank account got bigger."

"Bitch you did the same thing as me!"

"Stfu, her boobs are as big as Payic's."

"Comrades, stop popping boners, we must discuss serious matter." Vladislav said.

Rem sank into the hot tub quietly, cuddling her plushie as she let the bubbling water rub against her milky skin.

"Oh yeah, there's a plot to 77. What's up, big Slav?" Ryuzaki asked, passing him a shot of vodka.

"If the world is going to end again, I'm a very reliable choice." Yza said, passing him a cup of ramen.

"Thank you comrades." Vladislav shared the ramen and vodka between him and Rem. "Basically, CFA is in big danger. Moonbase go boom boom by Queen of England."

"Yza, this is your dad's fault."

"My dad's dead, asshole! He's not even related to the Queen!"

"Why did the Queen of England blow up the CFA Base? I remember dad mentioning something like this a year ago."

"Queen hates Vanguard. She is Anti-Vanguard. She gather underground fighters to destroy Vanguard. First she want to kill CFA. Get rid of F2P scrubs."

"Ryuzaki, this is your ballsack's fault."

"How was I supposed to know rubbing Ultima on my scrotum would make the Queen hate Vanguard?"

"Comrade did what?!" Vladislav exclaimed.

"Yeah, that happened. I stuck it between Big Ben's gears once I was done. Turns out Shouri had a hell of a time trying to get it out."

"Oh that's bad comrade. Master Ryuzu nearly die from Queen's tea cannon."

"Of course it's a fucking tea cannon!"

"Do you think he got third degree burns from it?"

"Anyway, if Queen find Rem, Rem and CFA die."

"In other words, we have to protect Rem-chan at all costs?"

"Yes, Comrade Yza."

"Seems easy enough. I know a voodoo blackmailer, an axe swinger, a special ops agent, a really good cook who's also my sister-in-law..."

"Stop listing all of our weird friends that are girls. Oh, I know a dude who can make shanks out of anything and a literal dragon. I can make him do anything by threatening to deport him back to his home planet."

"And you were saying?"

"List our bois, not the girls, you fucking simp."

"However, Anti-Vanguard not only group trying kill Rem."

Rem slurped her ramen quietly.

"Another is Bushiroad."

"Jesus, is CFA that illegal?"

"Ryuzaki can just pay Kidani the estimated money they lost, so this isn't even a threat."

"No, not Comrade Kidani Bushiroad. Rem and Kidani are comrades. I mean Bushiroad Cult. Underpaid employees in Bushiroad make big cult. Their leader is Intern-kun."

"Now that you mention it, the Vanguard Twitter account hasn't tweeted anything in ages. The last post is about Ange."

"Who's Intern-kun? I'll get C4 to expose them."

"I hear rumour it's man named Hanafi."

"...so that's why he was on the moon, that lying bitch!"

"You've met him before, Ryuzaki?"

"More than I'd like. He's that rip-off who uses mofo Breastflare Demiurge. He has a fucking cult? How??"

"Using Breastflare make you popular man methinks." Vladislav said.

"Okay, so what's up with this insider Bushi cult?"

"They don't want new Vanguard. They want G continue. They want control of Bushi to stop Comrade Kidani. So they take down CFA as proof to new Bushi owner why Intern-kun should be CEO and not Comrade Kidani."

"Intern-kun's capping again."

"I say we lynch him and beat the multiverse traveller out of him."

"That is basic idea. Anti-Vanguard and Bushi Cult want CFA gone, so they kill Rem. We must protect Rem from them and save Vanguard." Vladislav summarised.

(Play song in the media here)

"In other words..."

"It's a three way battle royal..."

"To save Vanguard..."

"And protect CFA..."

Yza and Ryuzaki looked at each other and fist bumped.

"Alright, this is easy! We'll definitely help you out against them, Rem-chan, Vladislav!" Yza exclaimed.

"We've done this rodeo a thousand times before. Rem-chan, big Slav, it's a pleasure to work with you." Ryuzaki grinned.

"Glad to have you on board comrades. Together, our will save Vanguard!"

Rem looked down as a towel floated towards her. Hitting her nipple, she picked it up and held it up by the corner.

"Who's towel is this?" She asked in English.

"Oh, that's mine!" Yza replied in English.

Standing up, Yza went over to collect it, but instead he made Rem's face turn Dragonic Overlord red as his Blaster Blade pointed straight at her.

"PERVERT! LECHER! HENTAI! I HATE YOU! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME TOUCH YOUR DICK BY ACCIDENT!"

Rem screamed, chucking the towel at Yza's crotch and attacking him with waves of water.

"THAT'S THE THING YOU'RE ANGRY ABOUT?! NOT SEEING MY RAGING BONER, BUT TOUCHING MY TOWEL BECAUSE IT TOUCHED MY DICK?!"

Yza fell down in the hot tub, splashing water everywhere, and getting Rem wet.

"Bruh, Yza's dick is highkey gonna ruin our relationship with the CFA team." Ryuzaki said.

"Don't worry comrade, I can convince her that you two is gentlemen later." Vladislav said.

"Yes! I won't ever forgive you unless you play Vanguard with me!" Rem exclaimed.

"Wait, Vanguard? Sure thing, I'd love to play Vanguard with you!" Yza exclaimed.

"R-really?! You want to play Vanguard with me?!"

"Yes, I do! And he does as well!" Yza pointed at Ryuzaki.

"Can confirm." Ryuzaki nodded with a thumbs up.

"Are we doing tag team comrades? If so, let me—" Vladislav reached out for his bag.

"Vladislav, you suck at Vanguard, stay out of this." Rem coldly cut him off.

"Wait for me to finish comrade. So impatient. No wonder new update so early but missing one card reveal. Tag team is for Comrade Ryuzaki and Comrade Yza. Card get wet in hot tub so we play on CFA. Laptop break in water, so I get this waterproof design for us."

Vladislav took out three laptops from his bag and handed them to Yza, Ryuzaki, and Rem.

"Oh these are sick, thanks!" Yza exclaimed.

"Superior Russian engineering." Vladislav boasted.

"Wow, these are waterproof." Ryuzaki dunked the laptop in water and nothing happened.

"Hurry up into Ice Palace, I'm waiting for you two! My username's Rem."

"Already there, my username's WattShida."

"Coming! My username's 8mefox."

Yza and Ryuzaki sent a challenge to Rem. Using her admin abilities, she accepted them both at once, merging the challenges into a two versus one cardfight.

In the end, Yza's Diablo and Ryuzaki's ZTB were thrashed by Rem's 16 crit Kumos grade 1 rush deck.

"Oh I am so playing Kumos when Kidani reboots, fuck whatever the current canon says."

"There's a reboot?"

(Ending here)

================================
ーEntering the Cardfight!! Vanguard: Area Eraー
「ＩＮＴＯ ＴＨＥ ＡＲＥＡ！」

================================

The area they were standing in was a bright green field, representing hope and light. The sun shone brighter here than anywhere else on Cray because of a sky so clear, all the pretty shades of blue imaginable could be visibly seen. The wind was the perfect breeze, not too harsh nor too gentle, carrying the wispy clouds away.

Standing tall and mighty, the Yggdrasil tree of V22 was planted firmly in the heart and centre of these beautiful and breathtaking surroundings. This hypnotic snapshot of Cray was a living contradiction. It was peace and tranquility surrounded by the chaos of warring nations. Everyone agreed this was a place to be unsullied, preserved, and loved.

Tainting this perfect masterpiece was unforgivable. Those lucky enough to stumble upon this paradise stayed here for eternity. Once you enter V22, you cannot leave V22.

"Good game, Yza."

"Re, Yozora?"

"One more! Then we're done."

On a glass fight table underneath the Yggdrasil tree, Yza and Yozora sat across from each other on glass chairs, smiling with their index and middle fingers placed on their face down starters. Flipping them over, they exclaimed—

"Stand up, the, Vanguard!"

The End.