♥║ twenty-one ║♥

It's a strange feeling to hug Bogum after what feels like decades. There's a mixture of pride, relief, yet a tinge of dread as he holds his brother tight, bracing the semi-aggressive pats on his back. Bogum looks the same aside from the growth of his muscles and his shoulders have broadened. Other than that, he still maintains his baby-face look.

"Taehyung, I'm surprised with how tall you've gotten in only two years," Bogum gushes, ruffling the younger's hair. He leans in closer, nudging Tae with his elbow. "Girls love tall guys."

Tae forces a smile, thankful his mother intervenes by asking him to help set the table. She doesn't let Bogum help; he just returned home after all. His special treatment will probably last for the next week before she's snapping at him to do the dishes.

He feels his phone vibrate in his back pocket. It's undoubtedly Jungkook—he still hasn't had time to answer the poor kid back. His mother has kept him running around like a chicken without its head, as if Bogum really cares if the living room is dusted and vacuumed and the pictures on the walls are perfectly aligned.

He glances around, breathing a sigh of relief when his mother isn't near, then pulls out his phone to quickly answer the younger so he doesn't worry.

taehyung: sorry. the mother has me going crazy

i'll call you later, okay?

All he really wants to do is go lay in his bed and stare at the ceiling, listening to Jungkook talk until he's completely at peace and could fall asleep. It's always Jungkook that falls asleep first, though, since Tae still hasn't managed to control his rambling problem.

"Taehyung, off the phone! Your hyung is finally home. Don't be rude."

Well, there she is.

He sighs, tucking it back into his pocket as he murmurs an apology.

Bogum smirks. "It's all right, eomma. He seems to be preoccupied."

Of course, being the complete lady's man he is, Bogum would think such a way.

"Let's eat, shall we?" his dad speaks up, giving Tae a sympathetic look. He promised Tae he wouldn't tell Bogum, and his mom isn't a problem since she's in denial anyways. He just doesn't think his older brother is ready to know.

When dinner is finally over, and Tae is allowed to escape from Bogum's horrible military banter, he immediately goes to his room with his phone already in his hand. He changes quickly into pajama pants and a loose t-shirt. He waits a few moments to make sure everyone else has gone to bed as well before he dials Jungkook's number.

"Hello," Jungkook answers, dragging out the "o".

Tae smiles, the weight on his chest from his brother's return instantly lifting. "Hi. Sorry I was MIA most the day."

"That's okay."

"What did you do today?"

"I took two naps. My goal for next weekend is three."

Tae rolls his eyes, but he chuckles quietly. "You've been productive and you have big dreams. I'm so proud."

"Well, what have you done productive today? You seemed really busy."

Tae bites the inside of his cheek. He doesn't know why he doesn't want to tell Jungkook about Bogum. He's being ridiculous. "My, uh. My hyung came home tonight from his conscription."

"Really?" Jungkook gasps. "I didn't even know you had an older brother!"

"We aren't very close," Tae admits sadly, playing with the hem of his blanket.

"I'll still trade my sister for your brother. I've always wanted one."

"You wouldn't want Bogum."

"Why not?"

Tae frowns. "He's not very... accepting, I guess is the word. He's very strict with his beliefs. The first time I dyed my hair, he didn't talk to me until it washed out. That was months."

Jungkook is quiet for a long moment. "I'm sorry, Tae."

"It's okay. I don't want to talk about him, yeah? Instead, I'd like to point something out before I keep forgetting."

"And that is...?"

"At the bowling alley last night, you stopped stuttering for a while," Tae remarks with a proud smile.

"I-I did?"

"Don't start now!" he whisper-yells, laughing softly. "You think too much about it. That's why you stutter, I think, because you already convinced yourself that you're going to."

"Did that make sense?"

"Somewhere in there is a point, Kookie."

Jungkook laughs, falling quiet for a second or two after. "Did... did I really stop stuttering?"

Tae is grinning so widely. "Mhmm. For a good two hours, I'd say. I feel like a champion."

"You're so egotistical."

"Hey, if I'm in the need for compliments, I'll compliment myself shamelessly."

There's another silence. Right when Tae is about to ask if Jungkook is still there, the younger whispers, "Your smile is really beautiful."

Shocked, Tae's lips part. He blinks a few times before saying, "What?"

"Y-you said you w-were in the need for c-compliments."

And just like that, Tae is melting. "You really think so?"

"D-don't purposefully h-humiliate me, hyung."

"I'm not trying to. It's a genuine question, I promise. You actually like my smile?"

"I do. A-a lot."

"Since you're allowed to like my smile, then I'm allowed to like your laugh. And your face." Tae starts chuckling then. "Yoongi hyung would puke if he were listening to us right now."

"I don't know how he's dealing with Jimin, the softest person in the world," Jungkook replies with a small laugh of his own.

"He secretly loves it. He's just uncomfortable with it."

A knock on Tae's door makes his heart stop for a brief moment. He doesn't have time to tell Jungkook before his door clicks open softly, and Tae is shoving his phone under his pillow, closing his eyes. It helps he had already been laying down, so he doesn't have to move much, but he hopes it isn't Bogum or else the elder will see right through him.

"That's cute, Taehyung, but I know you aren't asleep."

Tae internally groans. Of course it's Bogum.

He rolls over onto his back, blinking up at his older brother who had turned on the light, causing him to squint. "What are you doing awake, hyung?"

Bogum shrugs, taking it upon himself to sit on the edge of Tae's bed. "Can't sleep. Not used to be own bed, I guess."

Tae purses his lips, unsure of what to say.

Bogum glances over at him. "This is awkward, huh? Sorry. I just thought you and I could talk or something, since I haven't seen you in over two years and I know you love talking."

Tae sits up, leaning back against his headboard. "O-okay. What did you want to talk about?" He wants to tell Bogum he's tired simply so he can go back to talking with Jungkook, but a pain in his chest keeps him from doing so. He had missed his hyung, no matter how close-minded the older may be.

Bogum chuckles, shaking his head. "I don't know. Anything. Everything. My mind is just in a whirlwind."

"Why?"

"Leaving. Coming home. It's kind of a lot. I have to readjust to all of this again, and already I feel out of place. I nearly forgot I'm allowed to hold a conversation with my own father." Bogum laughs again. "I need to loosen up."

"Maybe you should contact your old friends," Tae suggests. "Hang out with them. That should help make you more comfortable."

Bogum gives Tae an almost sad look. "I don't know them anymore, Tae. It'd be weird to contact any of them just out of the blue. I've never had close friends like you do; I was just friends with everyone. You know, people to talk to at school to make the day go by. You have friends that you actually hang out with on the weekends. I didn't have that."

Tae frowns. "But you've always been popular, hyung, so I can't imagine—"

"Yeah, a word of advice: popularity doesn't exist in the real world. People don't give a shit about how popular you were in high school. And half the people I spoke to back then only spoke to me because I was 'popular.'"

Tae looks to his lap, fiddling with his thumbs. He doesn't know how to help Bogum. He always saw his older brother as the man with an endless string of friends, people he could call any time. He never could have imagined that his brother didn't actually associate with any of them outside of school. This was quite revolutionary news to Tae. 

In the midst of feeling pity for his returned brother, he stammers, "W-well, maybe this weekend you can come with me and my friends to do something. I-I don't know what yet, but we always do something on Saturdays." Except yesterday he had spent the entire day with Jungkook. He was hoping to have another Saturday like that.

Bogum chews the inside of his cheek. "I don't know, Tae. I don't think I'm really the type your friends would enjoy being around. You and I are total opposites, you know."

"I know, but... I'm just trying to help," he murmurs.

Bogum smiles widely. "Aw, don't feel bad for me, Tae." He punches Tae lightly in the shoulder. "I'm a grown man, I can handle some loneliness. Just thought you of all people could understand the feeling."

Tae's lips part. "Hey, I'm not lonely!"

Bogum laughs as Tae hits him back. "I know, I know. Calm down before you wake the family, you idiot."

Tae sticks his tongue out at Bogum, who rolls his eyes. "I see your mentality is still that of a six year old," he says.

"I see your hairline has started receding."

"Oh, that's it you little—"

Tae's eyes widen and he manages to cover his face with a pillow right when Bogum falls on top of him, playfully throwing punches into the cushion and against Tae's sides. The younger laughs, barely able to breathe under the pillow. He shoves Bogum off of him, accidentally making the elder fall onto the floor. Tae covers his mouth to stifle the loud laughter threatening to leave him.

Bogum looks to the door, waiting for their mother to appear, and when she doesn't he scrunches his nose and rubs his ass. "Way to go. You broke my tailbone."

"That should teach you to stop being abusive."

"You're my younger brother. It's in my right as a sibling to abuse you."

Tae rolls his eyes but smiles.

Bogum stands, an amused grin on his face. "All right, I'll let you get some sleep. Or go back to talking to your girlfriend." The elder winks. "Yeah, I could hear you giggling. You're definitely whipped on whoever she is."

Tae swallows, his cheeks flushing as he looks to his lap.

"Aw, Tae is shy," Bogum teases, pinching Tae's cheek. He chuckles when Tae slaps his hand away, then heads to the door. "Hey, Tae. Seriously, though. Thank you for the offer. I might take you up on it."

Tae gives his hyung a tight lip smile. "Sleep well, hyung."

Bogum gives a mocking salute before closing the younger's door.

Tae waits a moment before scrambling for his phone, expecting to see Jungkook had hung up but the younger is still on the line. "You should have hung up and gone to sleep," Tae tells him, but he's glad Jungkook hadn't.

Jungkook is quiet for a moment before whispering, "Then I would have missed your brother saying you're whipped over a girl."

Tae's stomach knots. "Jungkook—"

"Relax," the younger says with a chuckle. "I know he was talking about me. B-but I know h-he was only t-teasing."

Tae grins at how Jungkook began stuttering after realizing that Tae is, in fact, whipped for him.

"Tae," Jungkook says before Tae can reply. "Do... do you ever plan on telling him?"

Tae bites his bottom lip, thinking. "Honestly, I don't know."

"Would he take it that badly?"

"I think so."

"What happened to being optimistic?"

Tae deflates, his eyes suddenly watering. "It's hard to be optimistic over a loss cause, Kookie."

"He may not be a complete loss cause, though," Jungkook tries to assure. "Maybe he'd react better than you think."

Tae wipes a tear that falls down his cheek. He knows that's a lie. He knows he would be brotherless if Bogum ever found out.

"No," he whispers. "I don't think he would."