♥║ fourteen ║♥

Taehyung knocks on Jungkook's door three times, then takes a step back to patiently wait. There isn't a car in the driveway, but he presumes Jungkook is home alone since his mother is probably working. He wishes he knew what window Jungkook's room was. It would be much easier to get his attention that way.

After about five minutes, he starts knocking again, this time saying just loudly enough for anyone on the other side to hear, "Jungkook-ah, please open the door."

Still no answer.

He sighs in defeat and pulls out his phone, texting the number that Yoongi gave him for Jimin.

taehyung: hey, it's taehyung. did you give me the right address?

jimin: yeesss

is he not answering the door?

taehyung: no. think it's on purpose?

jimin: most likely

oH WAIT

he's at the valentine's dance

taehyung: wait what? why would he be there?

jimin: yearbook club. he's forced to go to every school event for pics

Taehyung stares at the text in disbelief. Why hadn't Jungkook told Taehyung he'd already be at the dance?

taehyung: well would he skip it??

jimin: not a chance. he's the school's go-to photographer.

if he missed it, he would fail.

Taehyung rubs his forehead in exasperation, then jogs back to his car. Well, his father's car that he let Taehyung borrow. Taehyung has his license, but getting a job is difficult and his parents can't afford to get him his own vehicle. He's not a fan of driving, anyways, though. He likes walking and taking public transportation. Namjoon calls him weird for the latter.

At least he had dressed nicely to school, so he's in a fairly decent outfit; a white button-down and black jeans. He doesn't particularly care about walking into the dance without proper attire.

When he parks in the school parking lot, he gets his phone and goes to Snapchat. He should have tried earlier and—

He's blocked there too.

He groans in frustration, slapping his hand on the steering wheel. It's killing him to know what happened. He's so petrified that it's his fault.

He gets out of the car, walking towards the gymnasium. He can hear the music from the parking lot. He tosses his keys in his hands a bit nervously before forcing them into his pocket. Why is he feeling so anxious?

He knows Jungkook isn't comfortable being face-to-face. He knows what he promised. However, Taehyung can't care less about that promise at this moment. Jungkook has driven him crazy the past twenty-four hours. He'd like to think he deserves to know why, or maybe that's him asking for too much.

He pulls open one of the gym doors, glad that no one can tell it's been opened because of the crowd. His eyes scan the endless sea of faces, his ears aching with how loud the music is. He starts looking on the outskirts of the crowd, knowing that's most likely where Jungkook will be. Far enough to not be smothered, but close enough for good pictures.

He spots the student government leader, Yuri, at the snack table. He slides his way through the mass of people to her, then taps her shoulder.

She turns to him, a smile breaking out onto her pretty face. "Oh, hi, Tae! I'm so glad to see you came after all."

"Actually, I'm looking for someone." He leans down so she can hear him properly. "Have you seen Jungkook?"

"Uh, I don't really know," she answers. "He was around here earlier, but then he wandered off somewhere. Hey, wanna dance?" She grabs his hand, swaying their arms in a silly manner.

He smiles kindly. "Sorry, it's sort of important. Maybe another time, yeah?"

She pouts playfully, then bursts into a fit of giggles, waving him off.

No, she isn't drunk. That's just how Yuri is.

He murmurs polite "excuse me"s as he shoves his way through the crowd, but the students could care less about his pushing. Most of them think he's trying to dance, and he has to pry himself away from some.

He's looking desperately when finally, he spots Jungkook in a corner near the mini stage that had been set up, his camera raised.

He's worried how Jungkook will react, but he needs to know what happened. If he did something wrong. Just seeing him soothes his nerves a bit, knowing that he's physically okay.

He pauses, admiring the boy from afar. The way he tilts his head this way and that for a decent angle. The way he looks at a picture after he takes it, scrunching his nose if he doesn't like it and smiling just the slightest when he does. Taehyung eventually forces himself to move. He would definitely be labeled a creepy if someone caught him.

He gently taps Jungkook on the shoulder, but the boy jumps anyways, spinning around with wide eyes. They get impossibly wider when they lock with Taehyung's.

Taehyung tries to smile, but it doesn't feel right. "Jungkook," he says just loud enough for the younger to hear. "I think we should talk."

༺༒༻

Jungkook can't stop fiddling with his hands, his eyes blinking rapidly as if that will somehow calm the storm brewing inside him. He doesn't dare glance over at Taehyung. He can't believe the boy spent so much time looking for him.

The two sit on a bench in front of the school's parking lot, a strange silence between them. It isn't exactly awkward, but it's not pleasant to be stuck in the middle of it. Jungkook is sitting as far away from Taehyung as he can manage, his knees pushing together so hard one of his legs start to go numb.

After what feels like years, Taehyung speaks. "Why are you acting like I'm going to hurt you?" he asks softly. "Look, I'll even sit on my hands, okay?"

Jungkook doesn't look, but he doesn't doubt that Taehyung is really doing it.

The older boy sighs. "If you didn't gather it from my spam of texts, I've been worried sick about you. I just... I want to make sure it's not something I did to make you so upset with me."

Jungkook's trembling falters for a brief moment. He supposes it was misleading of him to not answer Taehyung's texts or calls, but Taehyung hasn't done anything wrong. Jungkook doesn't even know the exact reason of what's wrong with him. He just feels... eh.

"Y-you didn't," Jungkook manages to say, trying to steady his breathing but all he can think about is Taehyung being next to him and what if he humiliates himself? What if he says something wrong or makes the wrong gesture or sighs a little too heavily?

"Are you sure?"

Jungkook nods quickly. He wishes they were on the phone. It's so much easier for him.

"You know I feel really bad about breaking my promise, but I wouldn't have had to if you didn't block my number," Taehyung says with a hint of disappointment.

Jungkook purses his quivering lips. "I k-know. I'm sorry."

"I just want to know why, Jungkook. You don't have to say it out loud. You can text it if you'd rather, but... I just want a little explanation is all."

Jungkook can understand that. He doesn't want Taehyung to think he's playing games with him.

He contemplates pulling out his phone to type it, but Taehyung deserves more than words typed on a memo pad. He runs his sweaty hands down his thighs, telling himself that it's okay, this is Taehyung, he can talk to him. Taehyung won't judge him, won't hurt him.

"I..." He starts, having to pause for a breath of courage before beginning again. "I told my mom," he all but whispers.

Instantly, Taehyung leans forward to look at the boy's face. "Is that why you're upset? Did she not handle it well? Jungkook, why didn't you just tell me?"

"N-no," he says. "She took it f-fine, I just... I don't know. I-I can't explain it."

Taehyung is quiet for a moment. "You feel guilty, don't you? Like you ruined your mother's life."

Jungkook swallows, nodding curtly.

"Ahh, Jungkookie. It's okay to feel like that. I did too. Even after telling my dad who was completely okay with it. You're just overthinking it."

"How do I stop?" he whispers, hating how his voice cracks.

"You have to distract yourself, reassure yourself. You can't just wallow in these feelings or you'll always feel this way." Taehyung scoots a little closer, but gives Jungkook a polite amount of space. "Is that why you didn't want to talk to me anymore?"

Jungkook can actually feel his chest ache at how hurt Taehyung sounds. "You m-must think I'm the b-biggest jerk," he whispers, bottom lip quivering. He tucks it between his teeth to fight the urge to cry. He can't do it in front of Taehyung. He won't.

"I don't," Taehyung says quietly.

"I s-swear," Jungkook continues, worried now that Taehyung has the wrong idea about it. "I'm n-not trying to h-hurt you like I have. I t-thought it would be best f-for you be-because you deserve a f-friend better than m-me and—"

Taehyung cuts him off by laughing softly. "Who are you to say what I think I deserve? You're not a bad friend, Jungkook, or a bad person. Not in the slightest."

Jungkook inhales a deep breath, rubbing his face with his shaking hands. He hates his anxiety. His hates himself. He really fucking does.

He pauses with his hands over his face when he feels a gentle touch across his shoulders. Taehyung's arm. The older boy hesitates, uncertain. Jungkook shudders at first, scared at the sudden contact, but when he reminds himself who's next to him, it's almost an instinct of his to lean against Taehyung's side. The comfort makes it so much harder to hold in his tears.

Taehyung doesn't say anything. Jungkook is positive he's frightened the poor boy into silence. Nonetheless, the knowledge that someone is holding him puts him at ease. The only person to ever embrace him is his mother, with the rare hug Jimin will teasingly give him just to annoy the younger.

Maybe this moment means nothing to Taehyung. Maybe this is how he comforts everyone. That's fine. It really is. Because even if Taehyung isn't breathing in Jungkook's scent and memorizing how warm he is, Jungkook knows remembering these small things will help him sleep at night even with the darkest of nightmares.