(I'm so so sorry i haven't updated in 67 years!! i took a little holiday break, but i'm back now :D i hope everyone had a good holiday season and a happy new year! here's to new beginnings x

also, this chapter has been written over the course of a week or two since i don't have much time to sit and write all at once, so pardon the (probably) abundant mistakes!)

  ♥║ thirty-five ║♥  

Jungkook climbs into his bed, shoving his face in the pillow. He hadn't wanted to leave in the first place. Then, after coming inside, he was immediately met with his mother's worried figure, twiddling her thumbs as she anticipated a response. He managed a smile and he hugged her (which he's pretty sure made her cry, but she hurried to her room after), and now he feels drained. He's barely done anything, but his body hurts as if he ran a marathon.

Abruptly, Taehyung's face is in front of his own, the elder squeezing onto the small area of free space. Their noses are almost touching. Jungkook scoots over so he has more room, but Taehyung doesn't move, simply staring at him.

Jungkook hesitates, then he turns onto his side, slinging an arm over Taehyung's waist to tug the hyung closer. Instantly, Taehyung curls into a ball against Jungkook's torso, resting his cheek on the younger's chest. He wraps his arms around Jungkook's waist, hugging him tight. It's amazing how much pressure Jungkook feels completely evaporate. Like a ton of bricks being lifted off his chest.

"Can you stay with me?" Jungkook whispers, glad Taehyung can't see his face in their position. He rests his chin on Taehyung's head.

Taehyung hums in content, but murmurs, "Won't your mom get upset?"

"The door is open," Jungkook remarks. "And I just... I just want to cuddle with you."

"All right, Jeon Jungkook," Taehyung says with a chuckle. "You've got a deal."

Jungkook finds a bit of courage, running his fingers through Taehyung's soft brown hair. "Hyung..."

"Hmm?"

Jungkook gulps, the courage already dissipating. "N-nevermind."

Taehyung lifts his head, frowning. "Jungkook," he says quietly, their eyes locking. "You can always tell me anything, you know that, right?"

Jungkook nods. "I-I know. But n-not now, okay?"

Somewhat confused but respectful, Taehyung smiles before laying back down.

They fall asleep that way, Taehyung snuggled against Jungkook's chest, their arms wrapped around each other, their legs tangled as if they're used to sharing such a small space. Jungkook can admit that he's never quite felt so comfortable before, the feeling of Taehyung in his arms one of the most natural he's ever felt. As if Taehyung next to him was all he needed for a good night sleep.

However, around two or so in the morning, Jungkook hears the familiar pads of small feet scurrying to his room. He sighs, not opening his eyes, his cheek rested on top of Taehyung's hair. He doesn't want to move, but he can't ignore Mina, either.

She's instantly beside him, tapping his shoulder. "Kookie, wake up."

"I'm awake," he murmurs groggily, stretching a bit as he rolls over onto his back. Taehyung doesn't move.

Per routine, tears are streaking her cheeks.

There isn't exactly any room, but Jungkook is far too comfortable and willing to indulge in laziness right now. "You have to squeeze in," he tells her.

She blinks, too frightened to question Taehyung's presence as she nods quickly, shimmying her way onto the mattress in front of him. He turns so her back is against his front, which means Taehyung is the big spoon now. As if he can tell the shift in his sleep, Taehyung throws an arm over Jungkook's waist, his head nuzzled into the younger's shoulder.

"Don't let me go, okay?" Mina whispers, clutching Jungkook's hand that's around her tiny torso to prevent him from moving.

He kisses her hair, closing his eyes again. "You're safe, Mina. I promise."

"I saw him, Kookie," she says, voice cracking. "He was in my room."

"He's not there, Mina," he assures her. "It was just a dream, baby girl."

"B-but—"

"Mina," he says softly, using his other hand to stroke her hair. "He can't hurt you anymore, okay?"

"You won't let him?" she asks, still partially asleep and not comprehending that he's gone.

Jungkook plays along. "Never," he swears.

She scoots back, impossibly close to him, but he lets her do it and continues to hold her tight. He ends up humming to get her to settle down and quit squirming, and soon she's out, her breathing even and her grip on Jungkook's hand loosening.

He even hummed himself back to sleep.

***

The next day at school is...

Odd.

Slightly alarming.

Not only has the focus on Taehyung multiplied, but now everyone's heads turn towards Jungkook, too. Not out of curiosity. Everyone knows what happened to Choi yesterday. Everyone knows Jungkook did it. No one knew Jungkook could ever do such a thing. They all know him as the shy photography kid dedicated to yearbook club. Some don't even know him as that.

Taehyung feels an itch up his spine from all the attention. He usually handles gossip and such quite well, but for some reason he wants to run and hide. He wants a time machine to be there for Jungkook yesterday when the younger needed him.

However, it isn't just the attention they're drawing that makes Taehyung feel so weird. It's the aura Jungkook is giving off. Typically, his expression is an easy and gentle one, always blushing, always trying to be out of the spotlight. Right now, though, there's an iciness to him that sets even Taehyung on edge, almost like a warning to keep a generous distance. Taehyung doesn't understand the personality shift. He could've never imagined Jungkook this way.

Jungkook must know the boys will say something, because when they get near the group, he says to Taehyung, "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

"I'll go with you," Taehyung says instinctively, his nerves taking over. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't incredibly concerned.

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, but doesn't reply.

As soon as the two boys are inside the empty bathroom, Taehyung locks the door, unbothered by the fact that he could get into serious trouble and stir even more rumors.

"Don't," Jungkook says before Taehyung can even speak.

The elder blinks. "What's gotten into you? I thought you were fine last night. And this morning you were acting normal."

Jungkook avoids eye contact, shaking his head. "I'm fine."

"No you're fucking not," Taehyung snaps, growing a bit frustrated. "We went over this yesterday. I'll be damned if I let you fall so far into this hole that you can't get out of it. Even if that means prying into your business."

Jungkook acts as if he heard none of that, going for the door.

Taehyung slides in front of it. "Uh-huh. Don't you get how alarming this... you're acting?"

"I said I'm fine," Jungkook grumbles, reaching for the lock under Taehyung's arm.

"Jungkook, stop!" Taehyung catches his wrists. "J-just listen, okay? I'm worried about you."

Jungkook meets Taehyung's stare, the utter coldness in the younger's making Taehyung's lips part slightly in shock. "Don't worry about me," Jungkook growls, repeating, "I said I'm fine."

"And I'm calling your bluff," Taehyung says, voice softer now. "I know you're miserable acting this way. Why won't you let me help?"

Jungkook clenches his jaw. "You can't help."

"You won't even let me try."

"You'd have to know everything to help."

"So tell me everything." Practically desperate, Taehyung grips Jungkook's hands tighter. "I want to understand. How else can I prove that I want to help you? To be there for you?"

Jungkook is shaking his head again, tugging his hands away from Taehyung. "Y-you can't."

"I can't what? Know everything? Help you?"

"Both." Jungkook casts a harsh stare to the floor. The bell rings. "I need to go to class."

"As if I'm going to let you leave like this," Taehyung says with a pointed stare.

Jungkook, growing frustrated, huffs out a breath, his nostrils flaring. He still won't look Taehyung in the eyes, though. "Move."

"Or what?" Taehyung challenges, hands on his hips. "You'll hit me? Push me out the way?"

"Of course not," Jungkook snarls, purely annoyed now. "Get out of the way."

Taehyung purses his lips, staring at the younger. He wants to be able to do something, not just lock the boy in the bathroom all day until he spills his deepest, darkest secrets. He doesn't want to be that way with him. He wants Jungkook to trust him that much, but apparently Jungkook still isn't completely convinced to trust Taehyung whole-heartedly. Maybe that's an unfair way of thinking, but he can't help it. Jungkook means too much to him for him to just let Jungkook walk away, stuck in a miserable abyss.

However, he can't make Jungkook talk if the boy doesn't want to.

His shoulders droop in defeat. He hesitates a moment before stepping to the side, his eyes on the floor in shame. He wishes there was more he could do.

Jungkook doesn't spare him a glance as he leaves.

Taehyung is left standing alone in the bathroom, his eyes pinched shut.

***

Jimin finds Taehyung at lunch. Jungkook didn't show up to the table, and Taehyung had gone searching for him, but in turn of both their absences this morning, the group was worried and Jimin dedicated himself to the hunt. His eyes widen when he sees the distress on Taehyung's face, somehow already knowing.

"What's wrong with him?" he asks. "What happened?"

Taehyung swallows the lump in his throat. "I don't know. He started acting like this after the fight yesterday. It's like it completely changed him." Taehyung gives Jimin a desperate look. "He isn't talking to me, Jimin. He hardly even looks at me. I don't know what to do for him."

"Well, last night when you texted me you said he was better!"

"He was. This morning he was too, but as soon as we got to school he switched."

"So do what you did last night."

"I took him to watch turtles race, Jimin."

Jimin blinks at him, then waves dismissively. "Yeah, scratch that. I don't know what to do either, because his last episode he didn't even tell me. We need to find him."

"I've been looking since lunch started fifteen minutes ago," Taehyung argues. "I don't know where he could be."

"Did you try the dark room?"

"The what?"

"He's into photography, you dunce. Sometimes he develops pictures just to distract himself."

"Right."

Taehyung starts to walk off to pursue the search when Jimin says, "Wait, he may be in the library too..."

Taehyung gives the elder a look.

"Fine! I'll go to the dark room, you check the library."

The two part ways, Taehyung's heart pounding in hopes that he'll see Jungkook's face squished against a table as he carelessly sleeps through the day. He wants to see peace on his face, his bad mood behind him, a sheepish smile as a greeting when he realizes he's missed lunch. That's what he wants to see.

But it isn't what he finds.

Jungkook is in the library, in the back of the room slouched in a chair, glaring down at his camera as he skims through the images. The way his jaw is clenched, you would think there's a rude ex in his camera roll he hadn't ever wanted to see again.

Taehyung walks in, then falters. He's... he's nervous to confront the younger again. This morning didn't go well at all. He doesn't want to keep being pushed away.

Timidly, he walks over, keeping his head down so he doesn't make eye contact. He shouldn't be this wary of the boy he loves, but he's scared. Scared he'll say the wrong thing and lose him forever. Scared he won't be able to help. Scared Jungkook won't want him to help.

He sits in the chair next to the younger, his eyes darting over to the small screen where his pictures flash by one by one. He isn't deleting any, like Taehyung once presumed, however, he's more so... reminiscing? There's a picture of Mina with cake on her nose from at least three years ago, the brightest smile on her face. The next is of his mother, unaware of the camera on her as she covers her hand to laugh at something someone off screen must've said.

Feeling intrusive, Taehyung clears his throat and sits back, making Jungkook jump out of his seat. Instead of being mad, though, the younger returns to his normal shy self, blinking rapidly as his cheeks flush.

Taehyung has never had a more confusing day in his entire life.

Jungkook surprises Taehyung by speaking first, "I-I'm sorry, hyung."

Taehyung isn't sure if he's apologizing for the scene in the bathroom earlier or for the entire day in general. Regardless, he replies honestly, "I'm not going to say it's okay because it's not. You're still hurting."

Jungkook averts his gaze.

Taehyung chews the inside of his cheek. He feels like if he says anything, he'll only be repeating himself from before. He doesn't know what else to do, or how else to get through to the boy. He takes the momentary pause to send Jimin a quick text, just to tell him that the kid is found and, mostly, okay.

"My..." Jungkook pauses, starts again. "My mom used to be so happy. When... when my dad was a alive."

Taehyung looks over at him, but can't catch the younger's gaze.

"They were that stupid couple that had been high school sweethearts," he continues with a humorless chuckle, picking at the hem of his shirt. "Everyone wanted a relationship like theirs."

Taehyung depicts a hint of aggravation in Jungkook's tone, but he decides to not bring it up, now that the younger is finally communicating.

Jungkook bites his lip. "My dad used to tell me I got in the way of their relationship. That I was the reason they couldn't spend time together anymore. My mom always thought he was just teasing me, but I could hear it in his voice." Jungkook cracks a bittersweet smile. "Having kids was my mom's idea, not his."

"Jungkook..." Well, damn. Taehyung wanted him to open up and now he doesn't know what the hell to say. The man is dead, after all.

"My dad was always miserable," Jungkook whispers, daring to glance over at Taehyung. "I don't want to be like that, hyung."

"You don't have to be," he replies, putting his hand on top of Jungkook's. "The only person who can turn you into him is you, Jungkook. You have a choice, you aren't trapped."

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak, then abruptly closes it and exhales heavily through his nose. Taehyung can't find the strength in him to ask; he knows Jungkook will avoid answering and it'll only mentally exhaust Taehyung further.

"Tonight," Jungkook whispers. "I... I'm going to tell you everything, okay? Because I'm not okay, hyung, and-and I don't want my mom to cry over me. You're the only person I think I can talk to... I'm not even sure if I could tell Jimin."

Taehyung, slightly nervous after hearing this, nods slowly. "Y-yeah, of course. I want you to trust me enough. I just want to help, Kookie."

"I know," Jungkook murmurs, forcing a smile that isn't at all convincing. "I-I realized I can't... I can't cope with it on my own anymore."

Okay, virtually terrified now, Taehyung manages another nod. "I'm here for you. Always." And he means it completely whole-heartedly.

However, the ideas that spur in his mind of just what could've hurt Jungkook so badly, make him question if he'll actually be able to help at all.