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♬  Carousel by Melanie Martinez ♬

♬  Medicine by The 1975 ♬ 

CHAPTER 6

♕ HARRY STYLES ♕

        IT WAS MY third day in the hospital when I was informed I could finally leave the following day. I wanted out and I wanted out fast, but I had already tried to push the limits many times, all failing quite miserably. 

        The doctor came in early that morning, looking satisfied that I appeared well enough. He did the routine doctors do, then sat in the chair beside my bed. He waved away the nurse, causing her to frown and me to become confused.

        "Now, I don't want you to think I was snooping through your files," started Miles, "but a patient's records is the most important thing to me. Especially a case where it looks as if they've starved themselves." He leveled his eyes at me, almost accusingly.

        "I didn't try to starve myself," I muttered under my breath. 

        "Whether you tried or not, you did. And that's extremely dangerous." He flipped a page on his clipboard. "I had a trustworthy friend see if there was anything to be worried about from your previous cases and such."

        I wanted to curl into a ball and die right then. Of course he would have checked my records. I purposely tried to avoid hospitals specifically for that reason. I didn't want people to know what I was then, didn't want them to know I was close to being as crazy as they get. I didn't want to be told I needed medication, didn't want to be told it was dangerous for me to be by myself.

        I sighed, running my IV-stuck hand through my hair. "Look, Doctor Miles, that stuff was a long time ago..."

        He gave me a kind smile. "Sixteen isn't far off twenty-one, Harry. No matter how long ago it feels, it's a close gap. I don't want to make you feel bad or anything, but you can't get rid of that kind of stuff so quickly. More so when you haven't had any treatment for it."

         "I've had medication for it all before. It made me feel weird."

        Miles smirked this time. "That's what they all say. And truthfully, it means it's working."

        "I don't think so," I said quite seriously, shaking my head. "One of them gave me the shakes and the other made me really nauseous."

          "Well, then it's a good thing I have a record of which ones those were so I can give you different ones."

        "I'm really okay."

        "Denial is the first sign of a problem."

        I glared at him.

        He laughed. "Your vital signs and CK levels and all look much better. I'll sign your discharge papers tomorrow and you're free to go. With a lot of prescriptions, of course."

        I wanted to feel embarrassed at how weak I was being portrayed, but the genuine smile he gave me made it hard to do so. I knew a lot of people suffered with similar things, but I didn't want to be one of them. I couldn't be one of them. I had a busy life. I didn't have time for mental crap to slow me down.

        The nurse, Daisy, came in after him when he asked her to take my lunch request. I didn't want to think about food, but I knew they wouldn't let me go until I ate solids and didn't rely on the IV. Not to mention the hospital food was utter garbage, but hey, at least the jello is good.

        "Are you sure that's all I can get you?" she asked in a low tone, her hand on my knee.

        I scrunched my nose, scooting away from her touch. "Positive. Thanks."

        She puffed air from her cheeks before closing the door behind her, almost angrily as if she weren't used to rejection.

        Daisy brought my lunch back a while later when I was flipping through channels on the television. I thanked her, but the news channel stopped her from leaving the room and me from taking a bite of jello. Of course, they were talking about me - I flipped the channel quickly.

        "There's tons of reporters outside," said Daisy, folding her arms across her chest. "A hospital, of all places."

        I yanked open the jello, stabbing my spoon in it. "Yeah, well. Not every day someone collapses in the ring after winning the fight."

        She smiled some. "But at least you still won. Then they don't have to talk about what happened and a loss."

        "Fair point."

        I really just wanted her to leave. I wanted Grace to come in instead and we could talk things out more. I'm not sure what I would say, but I'd say something. That I hadn't meant whatever I said, that I missed her more than anything, or whatever else she needed to hear, I would say it. Funny how I would allow her to portray me as weak and not my mental health.

        Daisy turned to look at me, eyebrows furrowed. "I have a question, if you'll let me ask."

        I shrugged.

        "There's an intern here. Grace. Is there any particular reason she keeps checking up on you so frequently?" Jealousy laced her tone and I almost wanted to laugh.

        But I didn't want some raging, jealous psycho to go after Grace (more likely than it seemed), so I did laugh. "Beats me. Maybe the same reason you haven't left yet."

        She appeared embarrassed at first, but then looked near smug. "And what would that be?"

        I chewed the inside of my cheek, giving her a look. She knew exactly why she continued to try and hang around me. She found me attractive, for some odd damn reason, and she was very obvious about it. Of course she wasn't hideous or anything, but I've got eyes for only one person and that person is rightfully upset with me right now.

        There was a knock on the door before I was forced to speak, and it was Jacob who poked his head in. "Oh, thank God you aren't dead. There's a load of dishes back in the hotel."

        "It's lovely to see you still breathing as well," I said, earning a laugh before a brief hug.

        He looked to Daisy, who was trying to hard to flash the cleavage she didn't have. Jacob tilted his head in amusement. "We're a gay couple. But nice try, darling."

        My jaw dropped, as did Daisy's, her cheeks flushing in humiliation. She cleared her throat before scurrying out of the room, closing the door behind her. I turned to Jacob, jaw still agape, but all he did was shrug, smirk, and plop down in the chair next to the bed.

        "Was that necessary?" I asked.

        He gave me a look. "Harry, you know under all that straightness, there's a part of you that's madly in love with me."

        "Madly in love with severely harming you," I grumbled.

        He grinned. "I'll take that."

        "You're demented."

        "You know, I get that a lot. But I tend to think about how everyone is demented in an odd way, so it's quite satisfying for my demented qualities to be more out in the open. Makes me unique."

        I stared at him a long time, trying to decipher how one could be so confident. Perhaps it's all the crap he's been through with his parents, and yet, I've been through a lot of crap as well and I have more insecurities than I'd like to admit.  

        "Are you here to visit me or lecture me on expressing how screwed up I am?" I inquired, raising an eyebrow.

        He snorted. "Please. You? The only problems you have is not listening to people."

        I wished that were the only thing wrong with me. 

        Jacob clapped his hands, leaning forward on his knees. "Right. I'm here to break you out."

        I rose an eyebrow.

        He sighed. "Fine, I'm not. But it sounded good, right?"

        Narrowing my eyes some, I realized he was fidgeting his fingers. Something he does when he's being secretive or when he's nervous. That's the plus side of a roommate - you know when they're lying to you. You can see right through them.

        "You're hiding something," I told him. "What is it?"        

        "False accusations? Well, I thought we were better friends than that, Styles. Close to a gay couple, even."

        "Jacob."

        He leveled his stare with mine, crushed under the guilt. "Fine, but you aren't going to like it." I guessed as much. He twisted his fingers, trying to avoid my eyes. "Well, when I came in, there was a really adorable intern, okay? Like, a side smirk, chocolate eyes, the whole enchilada."

        Please don't say what I think you're going to say. 

        "But, uh, even he was too straight for me to conform," he muttered. "He may or may not have been looking at Grace. Like the kind of way you look at someone when you love them. And not like friend love, like-"

        "I get it, Jacob."

        "Just thought you should know."

        I ran a hand through my hair. "I've already met him. Didn't care too much to remember his name, but by all means, please feel free to conform him."

        Jacob smirked some. "Men can only stay so straight when they've got this-" he gestured to his body "-close by."

        "Are you always so cocky?"

        "Looks who's talking."

        "I'm not cocky."

        "Fine, you're arrogant."

        "That's the same thing."

        "Exactly."

        I rolled my eyes. "Don't make me kick you out."

        "Then I'll have to bail you out," he said, winking before standing. He stretched his limbs, faked a yawn. "It's been nice, but you're extremely boring when you're moody. And I know it's kind of my fault I made you moody."

        I cleared my throat. "Could you maybe... you know. Talk to Grace for me?" I scratched the back of my neck while Jacob grinned knowingly. "At least to where we aren't in rough waters anymore?"

        Jacob patted my head like I was a dog, so I slapped his hand away. He rubbed his wrist, slapping mine back. "Harry, you know I'm the biggest Hace fan there is."

        "Hace? That sounds like some kind of imported cheese."

        "It's the only Gouda ship name I could come up with, okay?"

        "Don't you dare start on cheese puns," I said firmly, pointing a finger at him for emphasis and yet he only smirked.

        "I've gotta go. Got some R and Brie to listen to."

        "Get out. Now."

      He held his hands up, laughing. "Fine, fine. But keep that attitude and you'll be forever provolone."

        I let my head fall back on the pillows, heaving a sigh. "God, help me." 

        Of course, Jacob laughed harder. "Just remember, behind every great cheese is a cheese grater."

        I slapped my hand to my forehead. "Maybe I should stay in the hospital to stay away from all your puns." Though I remembered the pun book Grace gave me, and I fought a smile - one of sadness and reminisce.             

        "Fine, stay here. See if I give Edam!"

        This made me look up, watch him for a long moment as he contained himself. And then I asked, "As annoying as they are, you've kept going for quite a while. It's almost genius."

        Jacob smiled. "It's just nacho day."

        I threw a pillow at him.

        "All right, I'm going! Don't forget to keep breathing! And remember, I'm always going to be the Incheddarable Hulk!" he called before closing the door behind him, leaving me to shake my head and laugh to myself.

          But my chuckles soon subsided as I thought about what would happen when I would be discharged tomorrow. Surely, I couldn't leave after I'd gotten so close to Grace again. I had to fix things, somehow. I was a mess at this kind of thing, a total failure. I had no faith that I could mend something I myself had broken.

         The only thing I was certain of was that I would damn well try.         

(I seriously had to stop myself with the puns... I could've kept going xD anyways, if you have any other ship names, please let me know! I'm rubbish *also wannabe British* at ship names, hence where Jacob's fail came into play. btw, edit of Jacob on the side *winks* thanks for reading! x)