(guys, omg, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in turdy seven years. it was my birthday—may 30th—and then it was my mom's birthday and it's summer so my cousin's have been over and gosh, I've been a busy lady. hope this update makes up for it, though <3)

SONG(s) FOR CHAPTER: 

♬ Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis ♬

♬ Strangely Beautiful by Shealeigh ♬

CHAPTER 23

❀ GRACE WALKER ❀

THE WHITE CORRIDOR was practically blinding as Jacob and I sauntered down it once more. I tossed the deck of cards back and forth between my hands, humming to myself as Jacob shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet, nearly tripping himself in the process.

"He's been here for a few days, and this place still makes me queasy," he muttered, scrunching his nose in distaste.

"I think it's just the concept of the place's purpose, you know? The hospital still puts me on edge and I've been an intern for a couple of months now."

He shrugged. "I guess. I just... never expected Harry, of all people, to end up at a place like this. I wish he would've talked to me when he was starting to get bad..."

I nodded because there were no words to reply with. You can't force a person to open their mind to you, just as you can't force a person to trust you. I had no doubts that Harry trusted Jacob just as much as I, but it's more difficult for some than others. No one ever fully trusts someone else, even when they try to argue otherwise.

The elder therapist was just stepping out of Harry's room when we approached. He smiled at us, and I expected him to continue on his way, but instead he held up his palm to halt us.

"Is everything okay?" I instantly asked, worry coursing through me.

"Everything is fine, I assure you," he said gently. "I was just curious about a few things. Harry is a UFC fighter, yes?"

Jacob and I both nodded.

The therapist—Max, I believe—pursed his lips. "Now, I know the episodes have just recently gotten worse again, but I have a theory."

"Are we allowed to know this theory?" Jacob inquired, a bit annoyed with the man's hesitance. I set a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him a bit.

Max chuckled. "I suppose so. He seems to care about you both quite a lot." He tucked his clipboard under his arm and inched a bit closer. "From what he's told me, violence really triggers the memories, which is an obvious trigger. But I think his fighting might be worsening it."

I frowned a little. "So... he should quit?"

Max scratched his chin. "If he can learn to differentiate the memories from present. If he can control that, I think it'd be fine for him to continue. Also if he took his prescriptions, which he doesn't seem very fond of."

Jacob looked almost frightened. "He loves the conference, though. He's got a fan base and everything, I mean... I don't think he'd throw that away."

Max smiled a little more and nodded once. "I understand, and I certainly can't force him to quit. But perhaps you should speak to him about it. Get him taking his medication, keeping him in control of his thoughts—that sort of thing."

"Easier said than done," I breathed, running a hand through my hair.

"Precisely," he agreed. "However, I thought my input might be of use."

With that, he dipped his head and disappeared around the corner.

I glanced to Jacob who gave me a sad smile and then knocked on the door. Jacob didn't bother waiting to be let in, and Harry was sitting his bed like he had been the past few days. My heart broke every time I saw it. The poor guy was stuck in this plain room without the smallest thing to keep him sane. Which is where Jacob and I came in.

Harry saw the deck of cards, raised an eyebrow, and smirked. "Ready to get beat in Go Fish again, Jacob?"

Jacob narrowed his eyes playfully at him. "You cheated, you rotten nugget. I've got Grace now to monitor your bad behavior."

And that's what we did: Go Fish for almost an entire hour, until Jacob finally groaned.

"I'm tried of losing."

"So you admit it?"

"Shut up, Harold."

Harry laughed which made me smile which made Jacob cave into a fit of giggles. Suddenly we were all laughing at nothing and everything, being both happy and sad, confused and enlightened. An abundance of jumbled emotions swirled around us like a tornado, eventually yanking part of us with it. No one knew how to cope in such a place—no one knew what to feel. It felt wrong to be happy in such a dreadful institution.

When the unnecessary yet uplifting laughter died down, we were left dwindling our fingers and exchanging quick glances as if to configure what we were supposed to do next. Speak of the forebodings or leave them buried as long as possible or bring up a lighter subject only for the storm cloud to wash it away later?

I decided to go with the latter.

"I talked to my mom this morning," I said, catching their attention. "She's a few months long now and wants me to come down to help redecorate the guestroom for the baby."

Harry smiled, but it wasn't entirely genuine. "That's nice. When are you going?"

"Well, I was thinking. You're about to be on break, right? When you get out of here, I mean..."

He nodded, furrowing his brows.

"Would you maybe want to come with me? You know, for a bit of relaxation. It could be nice and I know Noah has been wanting to see you and so has Mom," I rambled.

His lips twitched back into a smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I think that'd be fun."

I smiled.

Jacob cleared his throat. "I have an announcement."

All eyes turned to him.

His cheeks flushed, and God, it was such a rare occasion to see Jacob Holmes caught in headlights. "I kind of have this guy I like and... well..." He let out a frustrated breath. "We're going to this really fancy restaurant and I don't want to screw it up, so I was hoping you two cupcakes could, you know... come with me. To keep me in line, or some shit. I don't know." He dropped his head into his hands.

I looked to Harry, who looked to me, and we both grew teasing grins. "Aw, Jacob!" I pushed him lightly. "You really like this guy."

"Can't believe Jacob can't actually tolerate someone that isn't us," Harry added.

"Okay, shitheads, fine. Make fun of me, but will you please come?" Jacob poked his bottom lip out. "Yes, I really like this guy."

I laughed. "Duh, I'll come, you idiot."

Harry raised his hand. "I second that."

Jacob placed his palm on his forehead in relief. "Thank God. You're allowed to cover for me if something embarrassing happens, but you're not allowed to further said embarrassment, got it?"

"Got it," said Harry and I simultaneously.

"Good." His phone buzzed in his pocket, and by the way his face lit up, it didn't take a genius to know who it was. He tried to hide his smile by biting his lip, scratching the back of his neck as he looked up at us. "Do you guys, um... mind if I head out a bit early?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Go see your lover."

"You've got yours right here, so it's all good," Jacob replied, already at the door. "Love you, children."

The door clicked shut and Harry scooted over so I could lay next to him. The hardest part was making him happy only to break that happiness when departing. We both knew I'd come back, but somehow certainty wasn't enough reassurance.

He grabbed my hand, playing with my fingers like he always did. Out of the blue, and catching me off guard, he asked, "Do you think you'd marry me one day, Grace?"

I turned to look at him, not bothering to fight the red in my cheeks. "That's a really... abrupt question."

His own cheeks reddened and he shrugged a little, not meeting my gaze. "It's stupid, I know. I've just been... I don't know. Thinking about the future and stuff. And I really want you in that future."

I smiled, using my index finger to pull his chin in my direction and our eyes met very briefly before I pressed his lips to mine. He smiled into the kiss, which made me grin, which made him grin, and then we were both laughing again like earlier. I laid my head on his shoulder and watched his fingers lace with mine.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

He kissed my forehead in response.

"Please take your medicine," I said quietly, afraid I might upset him.

I angled my face to look up at him just as his jaw tightened. "Grace..." He squeezed his eyes shut, as if he were afraid. "I don't like what it does to me. It makes things... not right."

"What do you mean?"

"Things go quiet, and I don't like the silence."

I laughed a little. "Harry, that's a good thing. It means it's working."

His eyes met mine. "Sometimes the silence is scarier than my thoughts," he whispered.

"What if Max—that's his name, right?—gave you a different prescription? Would you at least try it? For me, if nothing else," I urged, hoping he'd at least agree to give it a shot.

He stared at me for a long moment, his eyes glossy and expression unreadable. He broke the stillness with his lips on mine again, his forehead staying pressed against my own when he pulled away.

"For you," he breathed. "For you, I'll try."

★ ☆ ★ ☆

Max signed Harry's discharge papers that Saturday, saying he seemed to be quite stable again and was impressed that Harry hadn't argued against taking a new medication. In fact, Harry had even slipped up and told Max he was feeling much better with the prescription.

Jacob's fancy dinner was tonight, so when I picked Harry up, we went to the mall. I had hardly anything decent to wear and Harry definitely didn't have anything dressy. He argued at first, saying since he was a guy, wearing jeans and a button-down would be totally fine. I agreed until Jacob texted me:

this place is a FIVE STAR eatery, so if any of you hobos show up in anything less than dress pants, you'll forever shame me. no pressure, love you lots x

I knew Jacob only wanted to impress his friend, which was what finally convinced Harry to dress up. We both wanted Jacob to succeed in his love life. He didn't come by people he genuinely liked very often.

My mom called me while I was skimming the racks for a dress. "Hello?"

"Grace! You're still coming this week, right?"

"Sure am. Already got it cleared with my supervisor."

"Is Harry coming?"

I glanced over my shoulder at him, seeing as he was already watching me. He pulled out a black dress from the rack with a laced back and subtly glittery skirt. I smiled a little at it, hooking it onto my wrist to try on. "You're still coming home with me this week, right?"

"'Course I am."

"Aw, his voice has gotten deeper," interrupted Mom, which Harry actually heard and laughed.

"That's what happens when men get older, Mom," I said with a chuckle.

"Speaking of, you should hear Noah. My gosh, he sounds like a completely different person."

"I bet."

We continued chatting a bit longer before I hung up to go try on five dressed, three of which Harry picked out. I didn't want to overdress, but I didn't want to under dress, either. So I grabbed three of them that seemed a little too casual or a little too fancy and put them off to the side. It came down to the black one Harry picked and the other one he picked with small jewels dotting it. Both were beautiful.

I ended up going with the jewel one when Harry and I both agreed that it was quite casual and quite tasteful all the same. Then we went and got Harry fitted for a suit, which I was more than excited to see him in—men don't get many occasions to wear a suit, and prom was the only time I've ever seen Harry in one.

We sent our outfits to Jacob for approval. His reply said enough.

getting fancy doesn't mean you get more attractive than me. that's just being mean. please get ugly, love you lots x

"That's Jacob's way of giving a compliment," noted Harry.

I laughed. "Yeah, I think it is."

(okay, short chapter & again, I'm so sorry for the late af update, but the next chapter is going to be a bit crazy which is why I'm cutting this one off here. I promise I'll update within three days... maybe even tomorrow because I feel bad for making you guys wait. pulling a Jacob—love you lots xx

p.s. sorry for mistakes—I was in a hurry to get this up for you guys, even though it's not my best, lol)