SONG(s) FOR CHAPTER:

♬ I Choose You by Sara Bareilles ♬

♬ I Want You To Know by Zedd feat. Selena Gomez ♬

CHAPTER 14

❀ GRACE WALKER ❀

EVAN CAUGHT ME off guard the next day at the hospital. He had stormed into the room with his forehead creased, nose crinkled. It was odd to see someone usually so serene switch into someone so irate. I was almost a bit scared.

He hadn't answered me when I asked if he was okay. He hadn't even looked at me, merely waved me away. I refused to think I had done someone wrong, considering I hadn't done anything wrong. At least...not to my knowledge, I had.

The entire morning was spent with me watching Evan, waiting for him to confront me or confide in me. It was an excruciating three hours. Even the monotonous assignments of helping patients with the doctors weren't as interesting. I couldn't stop letting it bother me.

So when lunch swung around, it was I who confronted him.

"What's wrong?" I asked in a tone more demanding than I'd meant to, closing the lounge room door behind us.

Evan pursed his lips, sat down, and let his head fall to the table.

I sighed, taking a seat across from him. "I know I can't make you tell me, but can I make you feel guilty for not telling me?"

Not even a smile at my attempt of a joke.

Folding my arms on top of the table, I rested my chin where they overlapped and stared at the top of Evan's head. I reached one hand over, tapping his skull three times. When that didn't work, I tugged a few strands of hair. Still, nothing.

I frowned. I didn't like seeing him so...distant. "Hey," I murmured, letting my cheek rest on my arms so I was looking at him sideways. "You can talk to me."

After a few long moments, a little sigh fled his lips and he lifted his head to rest on his own arms. If someone were to walk in, they'd think we were both taking naps.

"It's nothing you should worry about," he said in a muffled voice. "I promise."

"Lucky for you, I like to worry." I poked his forehead. He gave me a pointed look. I pinched his cheek. His face finally broke into a small smile, though it was pained and forced.

He sat up a little but still kept his face leveled with mine. "Well," he said, "my mom has a douche of a boyfriend. I keep trying to talk her into kicking him out, but for some reason, she won't do it. I think it's because she doesn't want to be alone." He scowled, eyebrows pulling together.

"Anyways, he called me this morning. Apparently, they're going to his parents' house for his dad's birthday. He said he's making my sister go, so I have to go to. But all his dad ever does is put me down all the time. Literally, if looks could kill, I would've been dead the day I met him."

Evan looked so defeated in that moment, I felt the need to hug him, but the table stood firm between us and holding his stare was more important somehow. "I'm just tired of him calling me worthless, you know? And all Mom does is sit quiet and later tells me he's just joking. Fine, maybe he is, but it's not funny."

"Technically, you don't have to go, though," I said when I was sure he was finished. "You're twenty-one years old, Evan. He can't make you."

Evan ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I know. But I kind of go for my mom's sake, I guess. My little sister can only do so much for her. Mom doesn't like to get angry in front of her, so she vents to me instead. I don't know. I just feel obligated to go."

I offered him a gentle smile. "I understand. You're a really good person, Evan."

He snorted. "So I've been told."

"I mean it." I narrowed my eyes at him, making sure he knew just how much I did mean it. "You always suffer before you let someone else take the fall. That's a really amazing quality for someone to have."

He tried to smile again, picking at his fingers. "Thanks..." Then he groaned and let his head smack the table again. "God, I just don't know if I'll make it for an entire three days."

I laughed some. Three days didn't seem like a long time, but of course it was when you were miserable. Seconds could easily feel like hours in the midst of self-wallowing. I knew the feeling quite well. Everyone, no doubt, has experienced some kind of time period so dreading.

A little guilt coursed through me laced with understanding. I had already hurt Evan just by not returning his feelings like he wanted me to. How could I continue to let him wander alone in a clouded forest?

"Hey," I said quietly and he lifted his face to mine. I smiled again, though a little uncertain. "If your mom's boyfriend is okay with it—and if you're okay with it—I'll go. You know, for your sanity's sake."

His eyes widened some, and for a brief moment, he practically looked terrified. But he averted his gaze, fumbling with his hands more and doing that weird eye twitch some people do when they're nervous. "But...you know. Won't your...boyfriend disapprove of that?" His lips turned downwards in distaste at the word.

I gave him a look. I almost reminded him Harry wasn't my boyfriend anymore, but then I wasn't quite sure. Yesterday when he had kissed me, I let him. And God, how I missed it. It hadn't been an intense kiss, though, because Audrey had come home soon afterwards. 

But still... we hadn't said anything else about "officially" being back together. I'm sure if he brought it up, I would've agreed. I missed him. A lot. Yet the topic hadn't resurfaced.

I hadn't realized I was rubbing my temples until my nail scraped my head. I frowned, placing my hands under my thighs. "I don't think so. We're friends, Evan. Just because we may or may not be dating again doesn't mean he can control my friends."

Evan's shoulders slumped a bit, and I felt bad for friend-zoning him on the spot, but it was true. Harry couldn't manipulate the people I enjoyed being with, and Evan was one of those people. Besides, Harry should trust me enough by now to know I wouldn't be stupid enough to do anything like... that.

Officially taken or not, I wouldn't do that.

"I mean, I don't have to go if you're that worried about it," I added, feeling like I was just inviting myself. "I was only offering because you looked really bummed about the whole thing."

Evan gave me a weak smile. "Thanks, Grace. It would be cool if you'd go with me, I just... didn't want Harry to feel the need to punch my face in, you know?"

I laughed. "No, he's not really like that." I bit my bottom lip. He could be, maybe, but no... Harry wouldn't shove himself on Evan just because he's friends with me. 

He wasn't that stupid.

Or at least I hoped he wasn't.

Evan shrugged some. "Just in case, make sure you tell him I'm not that kind of person. I respect the both of you enough to not intervene."

I smiled. "See. You really are an amazing person."

He blushed; I laughed; the lunch break ended.

★ ☆ ★ ☆

"Estella wanted to come down so badly to see you," remarked Ivette, grunting as she hurried to push-up position.

"Aw, I would've loved to see her. How's she been?" I asked, sitting on the couch with my feet propped on the table, eating potato chips.

Ivette did ten push-ups before springing back onto her feet, the Pilates instructor's voice from the television informing her to quickly transfer into thirty jumping jacks before going back to push-ups.

"She's... been... good," she huffed throughout each jumping jack, trying to maintain her breathing. "Working on a... major fashion shoot... for an intern...ship."

I smiled, taking a sip from my soda. "That's nice."

Ivette stopped the video, placing her hands on her hips as sweat beaded across her forehead. She gave me a long look, nodding to my tank top and shorts, silently reminding me that I'm supposed to be doing this intense workout with her.

"What?" I asked innocently. "Today is my splurge day."

Ivette went to reply but then groaned, rubbing her calves. "Man, that dude wasn't kidding when he said you'd feel it in your legs."

I nodded, leaning over to tap my own calves. "Yeah, I know. This table is digging into my leg like nobody's business."

She gave me another look before we both burst into laughter.

"Fine, fine." I waved dismissively, closing the bag of chips up and hopping to my feet. "I'll do it with you until my skin starts crying. Deal?"

She fell into a harder laughing fit. "Skin...crying?"

I nodded again. "Yeah, believe it or not, my skin is quite sensitive to physical exercise."

She flapped her hand at me as if shooing a fly, a large grin on her face. "Wow, I didn't realize how much I actually missed you."

"I missed you, too, until you mentioned Pilates."

We both grinned and she pressed play once more. I couldn't help but feel gratitude swelling in the pit of my stomach. For Ivette, for Evan, for Harry—for all of my friends. It was hard to find decent people that would put up with you for so long, and Ivette and Jacob have been putting up with me since we were kids.

We all balanced it out by putting up with each other. Even during all those years, we've had a handful of fights, none of which lasted more than an hour before one of us remembered we had something important to share with the rest. The three of us trusted each other with far too many secrets to simply lose all contact.

This was—in technical terms—Harry's fourth year putting up with me, and it was he who wanted to continue pursuing such effort. Not that I minded. As much as he could drive me crazy, I loved putting up with him, too.

The hotel room door clicked open and Brady waltzed in with Harry and Jacob in check. Immediately, they all exchanged amused glances as Ivette and I gasped as if we'd ran four hundred miles, when really, we ran through four minutes of Pilates.

"This is a sight I thought I'd never see," teased Brady. "They're actually trying to maintain slim figures instead of just holding on to wishful thinking."

Ivette socked him in the shoulder, but he laughed and gave her a quick kiss. "It's not funny," she said, pointing an accusing finger at him. "I almost cried when I got on the scale this morning and saw I gained two pounds."

I raised my hand. "I second that. Except I mainly work on counteracting against the toxins I put in my body. Only when I eat something bad will I work to shed it off."

Ivette gave me a high-five. "See, that's how this works."

Jacob scoffed. "Until you obtain obesity, right? Then you're wallowing in self-pity."

All of us laughed. It was scary how true it actually was. But instead of thinking about my potential obese future, I thought of how incredible it was that all of us were standing here together. If Estella were here, it would've been absolutely perfect. For now, it would just simply be perfect, and I was okay with that, too.

Brady pointed to Harry. "If you're that desperate, maybe you should go train with him sometime."

Jacob let out a breath. "I tried once and I couldn't feel my arms for two weeks straight."

Harry smirked a little, but merely shrugged as if being modest. "You get used to that kind of training, though."

"If you're inhuman," muttered Jacob.

"Right." Ivette clapped her hands. "In this tiny hotel room, I still would like to invite all of you idiots for dinner. I've gotten pretty good at cooking, if I do say so myself."

Brady stood behind her, shaking his head and mouthing no but in a playful manner. Ivette saw and pushed him lightly, both of them laughing before Ivette proclaimed she planned to make us all lasagna for dinner. It was simple to me, but a huge step for her.

I turned off the television as Brady, Ivette, and Jacob (who offered to be the one yelling at Ivette that she was burning the food, if that were the case) disappeared into the kitchen. Harry sat beside me on the couch, a glint in his eyes I couldn't quite catch.

"Pilates, huh?" His smirk was growing again.

"Don't even start," I said firmly. "I only did five minutes of it and my legs are literally shaking."

"That should be a good hint that you're out of shape," he teased.

"That's already known knowledge, though. Besides, I'm pretty comfortable with my body and I'm not gonna stop eating what I enjoy just because 'society says so'," I muttered, using my fingers as air quotes.

Harry smiled. "That's a good attitude to have, Grace." He almost looked like he wanted to say something else but decided against it.

I turned so my back was in the corner of the couch and propped my legs on Harry. He groaned jokingly, throwing his head back for dramatization, to which I grinned widely at. But without me having to ask, he started to rub my calves which really helped the cramping to subside.

"I feel used," he quipped.

"I feel tired," I admitted, resting my head back on the arm of the couch. "If this is how I am in my young years, how bad will it be when I'm seventy?"

Harry laughed some. "It doesn't look too good, truthfully."

"You're supposed to be encouraging."

"Oops."

Our laughs tangled together until his hands stopped massaging and instead just rested there. I closed my eyes, feeling his on me. Heat involuntarily crept up my neck and cheeks. I placed my hands over my face, hearing a small chuckle from him in return.

"Grace?"

"If you're going to make fun of my blushing, I don't wanna hear it."

I expected a laugh, but none came. Frowning, I pulled my hands away to see a serious, distant look in his eyes. His stare met mine and I sat up some, pulling my legs to me and crossing them.

"What's wrong?"

He shrugged a little, looking sheepish. "Well, I kissed you yesterday and you didn't turn away. I was going to kiss you again just now, but... I'm not sure where exactly we stand, you know?"

I smiled a little. "Well, we're sitting right now so we can't stand anywhere." He gave me a look and I laughed before continuing. "No, really. I was wondering the same thing." Suddenly I was picking at my fingers again, staring down at them as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. "I know you have to travel a lot, and I know you have little faith in a long distance thing, but—"

Harry lifted my chin, our eyes meeting again and his were still just as striking as they'd always been, melting every worry inside me as if I never had one. "I've had time to reconsider a long distance relationship."

It was quiet for a brief moment before I said quietly, "I'm willing to try again if you are?" It was a statement yet spoken as a question.

In response, Harry closed the space between, just like he had so casually yesterday. His lips connecting with mine filled me with heat and sparks and excitement, and all those other foolish things people always claim they feel. But this was real. This was alive. This was beautiful.

He pulled away, just the slightest, his voice a whisper against my cheek. "I'd like that very much."