Steve:

Hey Y/N, wanna hear a joke?

Not really, but I think you're going to send it to me anyway.

What does Batman get in his drinks??

Sigh. I don't know, honey.

JUST...ICE

Oh.

Do you get it? Justice—just ice. Get it?

Yes.

I've got another one, too.

I'm at work, Steve. Can this wait?

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Apparently it can't wait.

Any guesses?

You've stumped me yet again, darling.

Ground beef lol.

Honey, I love you, but these jokes are shit.

Wow that's rude.

They're just not that funny.

The lady at the bank said I was funny.

The lady at the bank was flirting with you, Steve.

WHAT? You're kidding.

No, Steve, I was there. She was practically begging you for your number.

Huh. That's weird, I didn't even notice.

It was pretty obvious. You kept coming up with shit jokes and she'd fake-laugh so hard and then touch your goddamn arm.

Jealous much, doll? ;)

No, just confused as to why you didn't notice it.

I wasn't paying her any attention. I had my eye on some other pretty lady.

Aww well that's sweet.

Yeah, the waitress at the café before really caught my eye.

OMFG Steve

JK LOL! See, I told you I was funny.

Still not funny.

Not even a little??

... Okay, maybe a little.

Bucky:

Bucky! Omg did you see that thing on the news??

No?? What thing? What was it about?

About the guy that got the whole left side of his body cut off!?

Jesus Christ, no I didn't see that.

Well, don't worry about it, because he's... ALL... RIGHT... now.

...

Get it?!

Y/N are you kidding me right now.

It was a joke!

Yeah, I understand.

Lol Sam told it to me.

Kind of insensitive since I'm missing an arm, ya know.

Yeah that's what makes it funnier lol.

You really suck sometimes.

OH PLEASE I know you thought it was funny. You're just bitter because I'm hanging out with Wilson rn and you're not.

What? Bullshit. I could care less about hanging out with that dumbass.

Don't lie to me, Buck. I know you secretly have a man crush on him. It's okay—I already share you with Steve, I won't mind another.

I don't have a "man crush" on Wilson or Steve or anyone else you come up with.

Deny, deny, deny.

If either of us has a crush on someone else it's you, babe.

ON WHO?!

You know who.

Umm actually I don't or I wouldn't be asking??

Stark.

STARK WTF LOLOLOL

WTF BUCKY ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

No, I'm not.

You flirt with him all the time. It's actually really upsetting if I'm being honest here.

WAIT you really think that??

Bucky where are you?

Bucky no I don't flirt with him.

I just can't shove him away when he flirts with me because umm hello he's my boss.

Bucky??

I can punch him in the face if you want me to though.

I've considered it before, but now I want to do it twice as much because you really thought I liked him.

I feel so bad Bucky no please come back baby.

Baby please.

Lol I'm right here. I was just kidding I know you don't like Stark.

Seriously Bucky?! You almost gave me a heart attack. I thought you were seriously mad at me or something.

Nah babe.

It's was just a joke.

Get it?? :)

Oh go fuck yourself.

Nah babe, I'd rather wait till you get home to do it for me.

Sicko.

...

But go ahead and hold that thought. I'll be home soon.

Oh I know you will, doll.