15 November 2021

The Park Residence

I had gotten home late from partying with my PD101 and former-Pristin friends, last night. A few minutes after my head had met a pillow, I was dreaming of Junhui. I snuggled further into the blankets as memories of him romancing me brought a smile to my face. These scenes were duller than reality; a new dream ended the loop I played every night.

Vermilion numbers dyed the black-and-white film, in a countdown, but I had no idea what would happen when it reached zero. Pressure was building up in the lower half of my body so I figured that it was one of the nightmares that had haunted me these past few months. I reluctantly shifted the warm blankets off of me before the sleep paralysis hit.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I noticed that the tension hadn't released yet. I walked to the bathroom, the ondol heating my bare feet as they made contact with the wooden floor. The toilet seat was unforgivably cold as I placed my bottom on it and the pajama pants shifted down to my knees. A red inkling dotted my panty liner so I reached for the cabinet.

The twins had started their period a few months ago so there was always a pack of pads inside. It reminded me of Nana, Roa, and Yuha eonnies showing me how to use a tampon. A wardrobe malfunction could easily reveal the wings temporarily glued to the outer part of underwear. Having put the pad on, I covered myself again and threw the wrapper in the bin before walking back.

There were female idols that were criticised online and in real life after a bra strap peeked out from the ridiculously tight crop tops meant to draw attention to cleavage. What people failed to realise is that the body tape strapping the bras to our chests and shoulders came apart when performing the choreography. I sat on the bed and thought back to concerts performed.

For each music stage, there was a different outfit. We'd be driven to the studio early in the morning for rehearsal, wearing that outfit for a few hours before going in front of the cameras. Sometimes, the errant strip of clothing was caught during the practice run and fixed; sometimes, it went undetected until the very last moment.

Were these wardrobe malfunctions the worst crime a singer could commit? There were celebrities who got drunk and knocked someone while driving, among other examples. "Oh no, now people know that I, an adult female, wear a bra," I laughed as I imagined Sungyeon eonnie responding to her hypothetically caught in that situation.

Just because I absolved female celebrities from blame, it didn't mean that I blamed the stylists either. They shared the same hours we did but received no glory other than career satisfaction. If something went wrong, it was the stylist who was shouted at. Their contracts were strict and I knew that if they were fired, it wouldn't be easy to be hired by another company.

I heard padded footsteps on the wooden tiles so I turned to the door I'd left ajar. "Come here, my baby," I whispered excitedly as Panther lithely hopped onto the dresser. In the months that had passed since she was gifted to me, snow-white fur had grown on her paws and chest. Had I known this, I probably would have named the cat Socks.

"We are going to spend a lot of time together this week," I held the paw she offered me, "so let's deepen our bond." As if she understood my words, Panther purred in reply. Considering that there were six people to spoil her, she really was affectionate, contrary to the widely-held opinion of domestic felines.

She soon left for her early morning zoomies but I knew she'd be back in 20 minutes, after tiring of the exercise. While I waited for the cat, I had some serious thinking to do. My phone revealed the time as 02:19 and I felt the flow of my period increase. I had to start taking my birth control pill today but at what time?

Waking up at 3 AM daily for the next six months wasn't appealing. Should I take it at breakfast time and get it over with so the rest of the day was free? I shook my head because I sometimes woke at early hours and skipped breakfast but I also liked sleeping in. My bedtime also changed frequently so I nixed that idea.

I finally ended up choosing noon and set an alarm. At a more decent time, I'd notify my manager. Panther returned and hopped onto the bed. "I'm going to sleep now," her eyes followed me as I lay down again. The cat rolled up a few centimetres away from me and the room soon filled with the sounds of sleepy breathing.