6 March 2018

Seventeen Dorm

Although I had emptied the contents of the bottle into the wine goblet repeatedly, my heart had failed to stop beating like a hummingbird's. The spices of the malutang hotpot I had demolished had no soothing effect on my pulse either. My mind was being overloaded with sensory data: the blood of over 7 billion people called out to me.

When humans started leaving their primal lifestyles behind, certain senses were compromised so that the central nervous system had more power. I sat down on my bed, then sliding to the opposite end; I let my head touch the wooden floor, my legs splayed over the other end. Taking a deep breath, I decided to do some counting.

Of the global population, I decided to ignore Africa, the Americas, Europe, and Oceania. I felt the weight on my shoulders lower as I now focused on Asia. Discounting the population of India, I recited the unique attractions of each Chinese province, and the anvil beating against my brain stopped.

I thought about my tours in the rest of the continent before settling on the island I currently inhabited. Finally, I only had 30 million scents calling out to me. Passing over the major cities such as Daegu and Busan, I vocalised the addresses of the places I visited most in Seoul: the studios and Pledis.

Saying the names of the people I knew aloud lessened the target to a million but it was still not enough. I was a hazard to society and I wished for any of the myths about vampires to come true so I could become a pile of ashes, drifting on the wind to the oceans, where I was incapable of hurting anyone.

LOVE-ing by Mayday blared in my room, knocking off the cravings temporarily. The name on the screen confused me: surely, she should be having drinks with the freshmen of her college, not calling me. I picked up the phone and tried to sound as much as my usual self: "Hello". Xiyeon answered and asked me to come downstairs.

"I was studying but I felt this inferno rising in my room," I felt guilty that I had disturbed her, "but there was no physical fire. The heat was emanating from my deck and I asked my mum if this had ever happened before. She said no but told me to follow my instinct. I guess that it must be because you're supernatural."

"You have to return. Immediately," the acting student's blood appealed to me more than the rest, overwhelming them so that they vanished. A predator sought to isolate the prey from its herd and she had walked into my lair most willingly. My fangs had already protruded and were sensitive to my want for her.

"You can have my blood without hurting me," the young lady smiled benevolently, as if she were a saint, meting out a blessing upon me. The sound of paper crinkling directed my eyes to her hands and I finally noticed the bag in her hand. Grabbing her wrist, I pushed up the sleeves but didn't see any striations on the skin.

"If you did get your blood drawn, don't worry about the medical fees. I'll reimburse you," I hadn't seen the puncture mark of a needle but maybe that had faded away. Xiyeon's ability to predict the exact moment I would turn into a monster was amazing; her ability to devise a strategy was commendable.

"This is so embarrassing," I noted the scarlet blossoms on her cheeks. "Don't open it here," her voice was almost a shout so I closed the bag again. "Just know that this was the best compromise I could come up with." The student ran away but the aroma wafting from the paper bag had me back to normal. I stealthily returned to the dorm.

Seeing that one of the bathrooms was unoccupied, I locked the door behind me. "Vampire teabags," my forehead wrinkled in confusion at the note attached. I opened the bag and saw her used tampons. "Park Junghyun, you are a genius," I laughed under my breath before sticking one in my mouth, the string dangling like a bent lollipop stick.

The taste was savoury and spicy, fiery and wicked. While it had the metallic flavour I expected, there was something sweet. The brightness and buoyancy of the liquid told me that her diet had just the right amount of vegetal salinity. Offsetting the viscosity was just the right amount of zest. It was both piquant and earthy; the whole experience felt like a 7-course meal.

In a few minutes, the 125 millilitres of blood was in my system and I decided to finish the second one. At the moment, I didn't have a way of storing my new sustenance and resolved to buy a thermos flask tomorrow. I discarded the feminine hygiene products in my own bin, under layers of trash so the members wouldn't see the evidence.

Scrolling through the emojis I had saved, I decided to send her the one of a cat holding a "Thank you" sign. I didn't see a reason why she had to be disgusted with herself: I was the one who used the menstrual product in a way no human would ever think of. I replied that she was helping reduce the amount of waste in landfills, thus she was a heroine.

The young lady rightly pointed out that her new idea was a drop in the ocean. I enjoyed this new development in our relationship, debating ethics. I had judged her too harshly for her youth, something that was gradually changing and which wasn't her fault. I apologised; she accepted; we talked about our days.

"I see that she passed your taste test," Caishen gently nudged himself into my thoughts.

"You said you created me differently from the other vampires so why do I still crave blood, like a degenerate?" I wondered.

"When you were with me, your blood stopped flowing. Park Junghyun is like coffee, both personality-wise and in this respect. She has so much vitality and she will reinvigorate you, as well as become the sun that coaxes open the cherry blossom of your soul," He had observed me smiling while we texted.

"I am glad to see you cast off your stereotype of Xiyeonnie," the deity continued.

"Still, I have to continue keeping my distance so she lives her life to the fullest before becoming shackled to me," I shook my head.

"You still doubt me," He sighed. "She will choose to be with you- that's one of the conditions that has to be fulfilled before you can become fully human again. This is no different from any other relationship: to love, there are some things you have to give up, yes, but both parties should be on an equal level in order to exist harmoniously."

"I won't use the word 'shackle' in Your presence, ever again," I ended this fight.

"You know, I never congratulated you on such a great performance in Chao Yin Zhan Ji," Caishen mused. "Minghao and yourself truly shed off the title as 'members of Seventeen' and became powerful performers, of your own willpower and on your own terms. That will prove a pivotal moment in your history: I foresee nothing but greatness ahead."

"Which was your favourite, from all of my stages?" I blushed.

"Your cover, Reflection of Desire," He answered without a moment of hesitation.

"I still want to add Chinese elements into electronic and hip hop," Longfei gege popped up from my memories.

"The time to open that bookmark in your heart has not yet arrived." If He and I were in the same realm, I'm sure the deity would have patted my head in consolation. "Good night, Princeling."

"Good night," I greeted, even though I knew I would be up all night, trying to get off the first of many highs.