Nothing in life is more sacred than a man's ensuite bathroom. A throne for just him, and a small box of a room to enjoy 20 minutes of peace and quiet.

"Maman!" The yell of their oldest female offspring killed his '20 minutes' and ended his absorption into the latest Ladynoir fanfic he was reading. "Maman!" she shouted again.

"She's not here!" Adrien shouted through the doorway.

"Geez, pops! How long have you been in there?"

Not that she needed to know, but the seat was at a wonderful temperature right now.

"What do you want?"

"Can you tell my brothers to put the toilet seat down! It's disgusting!"

Adrien laughed, such a minor issue which she really needed to get over. She was at university now. She was rarely here. "It's not a big deal, just put the seat down yourself! It takes two seconds."

He trained his focus back onto his phone. Where was he? Oh, yes! Ladybug had just fallen off the rooftop and twisted her ankle, Chat Noir swooping in to save the day. He loved the ones when he was her hero, because everyone knew it wasn't her that fell off the rooftops—it was him.

"Papa! Come on! Just tell the boys to put the seat down once they're finished!"

Adrien sighed, he'd lost his place again! "You tell them! They're your brothers!"

"They're your sons!" she huffed back. If he thought the younger teen years were bad, he was sorely mistaken. The young adult (I-can-everything-on-my-own-but-you-need-to-tell-my-brothers-to-put-the-toilet-seat-down) years were far worse. He rubbed a hand over his face. He just wanted some peace.

"Em, can we wait to discuss this when I'm out of the bathroom, please?"

He heard her huff on the other side of the door, knowing full well she was currently in the midst of an eye roll her mother would be proud of.

"If this was Aria, then you'd be straight out there telling them to stop!"

Believe him, with what he needed to do, even Marinette in his Miraculous wouldn't get him out at the moment. Damn that spicy burrito!

"I would not!"

"You would too!" His oldest daughter stropped. "We all know she's your favourite! Your little Princess!"

"That's rich coming from my big Princess."

Knowing full well his time was ruined, Adrien stood up, taking his trousers with him. He fixed the fastener and flushed the chain before heading to the sink and washing his hands — only for an abnormal gurgle to proceed out of the porcelain throne.

He could hear Emma continuing her ramble about how their 4-year-old menace of a sister was the new Princess in the family. He couldn't be certain, but something told him she was a little jealous of the younger Agreste, kind of how Louis acted when they had Hugo. The only difference being Emma and Louis no longer lived in the house...except for during holidays.

Leaning over the toilet, he noticed the water beginning to rise. Higher and higher, almost to level off at the top. Oh no!

Grabbing the towel from the nearest handrail (one of Marinette's fancy embroidered ones) he shoved it down the toilet and began pressing the button over and over again.

Well, this was a bit of a pickle!!

The water continued to rise, reaching the top before spilling out onto the floor, he grabbed a few more towels and threw them down, pressing the flush time and time again in hopes to stop it. Instead he was just making it progressively worse!

"Oh, shit!!" (And right at the moment he was glad he didn't!)

"Papa! What are you?"

The door swung open just as he heard the front door unlock, Emma's laughter vibrating around the room. "Oh, wow!" He watched her turn and face the doorway. Maman! Come up here!"

"Your Maman doesn't need to come up!"

"Oh, she does!" laughed Emma, the sound of pounding feet making their way up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"Emma, what's..."

The adults all stood still as Aria launched herself onto the bed and began to bounce on her knees. She was the spitting image of her mother, with the personality of her father.

"Pops, guess what Grandmere gave me!"

"Not now, sweetheart!" Adrien said, turning to Marinette with a grimace on her face. "Hey, Lovebug! So how are you parents?"

As Aria continued bouncing, calling for her father's attention, Emma stood smugly beside her mother in the exact same position — neither looking impressed, as the gurgling of the toilet turned into a groan. The basin had become a Niagara Falls, the speed and intensity of water flowing without care out of the toilet and down onto the floor.

"Adrien." Oh, his Lady was mad! Her voice had gone into don't mess with me mode, and he would do well now to follow orders. "Call Ivan."

That most certainly wasn't a request — it was a demand!

He reached around his back, hoping to grab the phone from his pocket, only to find it empty. He patted around the back of his trousers, only to come up empty handed. His eyes turned to the toilet as it let out a splutter of water, an obvious explanation to where his device had gone.

"Don't suppose I could borrow your phone, M'Lady?"

*****

Adrien's interruption had cost them quite the pretty penny. Not only was he paying for new piping in the ensuite, but also new tiles, new paint, new fancy embroidered towels and a new phone.

He gave Marinette a small smile before climbing into bed beside her. His body in flight mode, knowing full well she would be in fight mode.

"So, how was your day?"

Marinette looked at him as though he'd just asked her what the square root of infinity was, before shaking her head and bursting out laughing. "What gets me," she started, "is how everyone sees me as the clumsy one, yet we've had more renovations to this house thanks to you than anything else."

She reached over and cupped his face, moving herself towards him and pressing a soft, gentle kiss to his lips. He sighed in happiness, glad she wasn't going to throw him out of the house.

"I'm sorry."

She giggled at him before moving down onto her pillow and turning out the light. "You should have that tattooed on your forehead. Goodnight, Kitty. I love you!"

"I love you too." Turning off the lights, Adrien snuggled down for a nights sleep

Five hours later, Adrien's dream of being stuck in a shopping mall with all the toilets out of order, suddenly felt ridiculously real. His eyes opened, and he let out a groan. God he hated middle age. The unwanted need to use the toilet multiple times a night was excruciating.

Swinging his legs out of his warm, woman infested bed, he slipped his feet into his slippers and headed in the direction of their ensuite, only to remember it was out of action until Ivan had the parts to fix it.

Cursing under his breath, Adrien headed in the direction of the family bathroom and the toilet, eyes slightly closed and the need to be quick to get back into bed...and hopefully to nicer (less agonising) dreams.

And then it happened.

The moment he sent out a heartfelt apology to every woman he'd come across in his past and present, and those yet to grace his future...especially Emma.

He folded like a lawn chair as he attempted to sit on the toilet, his knees hitting his chest and hand stretching to grasp a hold of something as he went down the hole and into Wonderland. The landing was cold...so cold...and wet!

As his hand collided with the sink, he knocked everything off causing a loud clatter to echo around the bathroom and probably wake everyone up in the house. The kerplunk of the items, one by one spinning around the bowl, was thrust into the spotlight as the bathroom brightened and the shout of an expletive sounded from behind the door.

"Maman, transform! We're being burgled!"

Adrien attempted to right himself from the depths of the underworld, finally straightening himself up just as Louis threw open the door.

Standing outside the bathroom was the biggest let down of superheroes he'd ever seen. Louis stood with a telescope. Hugo a dictionary, Emma her hair straighteners and Marinette a baseball bat (where she got that from was anyone's guess!)

Luckily, the commotion didn't wake up the one diva in the house who certainly wouldn't go back to sleep. They all gaped at him, Emma looking with the smug expression of someone dying to say 'I told you so!'

Straightening himself up, Adrien headed to the sink, and removed everything from a toothbrush to Louis 'eau de smelly teen'. He progressed to washing his hands and drying them, as if he hadn't just woken up the entire household.

He stepped towards the door, his eyes burning into both boys as he turned off the light.

"Leave the seat up again, and you'll be cleaning the toilet for the next month with your toilet brush. Do I make myself clear?"

Without another word, he moved forward to their bedroom in search of a towel and clean pyjamas. He'd have to make sure he made a hefty apology to Emma in the morning—complete with pancakes and croissants.