we're having lunch when he
gives my thigh a squeeze

for several reasons this makes me panic
i know why i'm reacting like this
but i do not know why now
after all this time

i actually think
he gets more scared than
me

but you,
you think he is still hurting me

since
his friends just laugh at me

and
he is still in a state of shock

while
i am having an anxiety attack

you
furiously come over to our table
with your knuckles turning white