"Erwin..." Levi said as he wrapped his arms in a friendly manner around the back of the man. "Feel free to cry. I promise that I would not dare laugh at you for crying. I also promise you that no one will know about this." He stated. He knew that knights were so protective of their pride but Erwin's statement between his sobs changed that.

"Then tell them..." Erwin hiccuped, "Tell them that I am a man for crying. Tell them that I am a strong man for shedding tears as I long for my wife. Tell them that I am the noblest of all the knights for showing such weakness as they would call it. I could care less and I would not care more about my pride." He sniffed and gave Levi's arm a pat. "For caring about that is superficial."

Levi also felt his eyes drop tears and felt his lip quiver. Surely, Erwin did sound too poetic but it was the truth. People only cared about what other people would say to the point where humans are nothing but a bunch of lies they made up to fit in in this society.

Under the moonlight, the pine trees gleamed a little of green. The pine trees staring at them outside were to be trusted. They will not say a thing about what they saw. The moon looked down sadly on the two lonely humans he is seeing. The clouds passed by in melancholy and the wolves howled their nocturne. The owls hooted their salutations to the noble Erwin Smith, the knight who admitted that he was weak. The dead leaves and the wind rustled their applause for the man. All the things in the universe admired Erwin but no one admired Erwin more than Levi.

The moment was too captivating that the black haired boy wished upon the jewel-like stars so that the moment will stay and linger forever.

"Erwin." Levi said in a less monotone voice compared to what he usually had. "You really are one hell of a man! And do not worry, I am sure that any woman you woe will never reject you." He said in all honesty although he knows that deep down, he does not want any woman to be with Erwin. He wants to be with Erwin.

Erwin is beautiful and Levi would never be afraid to digress that even Aphrodite and Freyja would not argue with him. Helen of Troy would look nothing but grotesque in the presence of Erwin.

"Gratitude, Levi." He stated and Levi could hear formality in Erwin's voice. To him, it seemed like Erwin acted unfamiliar with him when Erwin speaks in formality and this saddens him but he did not let himself drown in the concept. He has no time for it at the moment so he ignored it.

But it hurt. When he hears Erwin talk formally to him, his heart is stuck in a wrenching pain and squeezed by an invisible and strong hand.

He likes Erwin. He loves Erwin and he would do everything to make the man happy and he will never stop loving Erwin but thing is, there are boundaries in this world that prevents him to do so. He's trapped in a glass wall and he can see Erwin on the other side but he could not reach out to him and this causes his permanent grief.

He let go of the man and crossed his arms and leaned onto the bedroom wall. He gazed outside Erwin's windows and saw the pine trees gleaming tenderly under the moonlight. It was a beautiful sight but nothing is more beautiful than the lavenders that he took for granted.

"Something seems to be bothering you, Levi." Erwin spoke in his deep voice as he wiped the tears off his eyes. "Is there something wrong?"

"Yes, I mean, no." Levi stuttered in confusion. He was mad at himself for embarrassing himself in front of Erwin.

Erwin stood and put both of his hands on his shoulders. "Come on, tell me the truth."

Levi turned slightly red on the face but he turned so that Erwin would not notice.

What is wrong with me? Levi asked himself. Everything. Everything.

"I just miss the manor and the lavenders that I could gaze upon from my window." Levi spilled half of the truth. He had small droplets of tears escape from his eyes and slide down his cheeks but Erwin did not see, at least Levi hoped but Erwin did notice.

He brought one finger to Levi's cheek and wiped any visible tear from Levi's moonlight pale skin. He used his thumb to tilt Levi's face so that he can see his face.

"Levi, why are you crying?" Erwin asked softly, his soft blue eyes showed concern.

Levi tried his best to avoid Erwin's gaze. The action just made him shed tears more. His tears piled up until there was nothing he could see but watery blurs of monochromatic colors. He blinked, letting the tears travel from his cheeks down to the floor. He clenched his fists, gritted his teeth and then laughed.

He was pathetic, laughing at a situation like this. He was sure that Erwin would see him to be insane but as he looked at Erwin's face again, Erwin looked serious. His laugh ceased and he maintained eye contact with the taller man.

"Can you not see that I am hurting?" Levi asked Erwin as he scratched his neck. "And do you not see me as insane after laughing when I shed sad tears?"

Erwin's brows knitted together as his eyes stared into Levi's dark ones. "I do not see you as insane. I see you as human."

Human...The word rang in Levi's head. He does not know why but he felt glad that Erwin sees him like this. Everybody else only saw him as a squire, a soldier, a slave, a disgusting and filthy homosexual but this man sees him as human and that validated him as someone who is capable to err and could barely stay away from sin and indulgence.

He sniffed happily although he does not know if that was scientifically and hypothetically possible but he did.

"But Levi," Erwin continued and lifted his hand off Levi's shoulders, "Why and where are you hurting? Can I help you with dealing it?"

"Aye and nay." Levi replied as he sat on Erwin's bed. "Aye, I am hurting because I miss everything from the past and nay, you cannot help me in dealing with it. I will find a way so don't worry. I am a strong young man." He said reassuringly and he enforced a smile to make his statement believable.

"What a beautiful smile." Erwin said as if in a trance. "And I do believe too that you are a strong young man." He smiled back to Levi. "Also, you should keep smiling. You will look better than Helen of Troy."

Levi gazed on the floor, flustered in what he heard. "Aye, thank you. Same goes for you as well." He stood and walked to the door. "I have to go now, it's late in the night." He turned to Erwin, "You should get some rest as well."

Erwin just raised a hand while smiling. "I will be fine. I knew that I would not be sleeping tonight so I decided to burn the midnight oil and write poems to my late wife." He said a little sadly. "But see you tomorrow, Levi."

Levi nodded but he cherished the moment when Erwin said his name.

He opened the door and closed it quietly. He walked back to his bedroom as quiet as a mouse. No one will never know what words they exchanged with Erwin and it will be forever important to Levi.

Forever.

•••

Erwin turned off the alcohol lamp that gave light to his room. The light that burned flickered to its end.

He sighed as he sat on bed and fluffed up his pillow that was somehow still not dry from the tears he shed earlier that night.

He misses Hanji so much but it seems like his love for her began to fade away and drop like the dead petals of beautiful flowers. He never felt so guilty in his life but yes, he does feel bad for not loving Hanji the way he used to.

He laid down on his side and felt the pillow on his head. He thought about his encounter with Levi and his memories occupied his mind as he thought about it again and again.

And then he noticed something. Levi is quite handsome and Erwin is convinced that Levi does not know that fact of himself.

He has beautifully curled yet short lashes. His lips are tinted light pink like the cherry blossoms that gives pride to the East. His eyes may look like frozen tar created by the Snow Queen but once you stare deeply into it, you see a dark fireplace where the goddess Hestia keeps the warmth of his soul. His skin is as white as the snowflakes that tumble with the wind every time Old Man Winter visits. His hair is as black as ebony and as silky as smooth cream. His nose was carved daintily to fit his handsome features. His personality is somewhat hard to decipher but Erwin was certain that he was someone capable of providing unconditional love.

Erwin was sure that no woman would reject Levi.

Hi guys. I'm sorry if the update took so long and don't worry. I'm still here. Just floating around.

Thank you all for your support.