props to me for including ap gov in here. yay. 

chapter nine | lemon bars

Apparently Eunice forgot about our feud, because she called me. “Oh my gosh, Flossy. Guess what just happened to me? It’s really the best thing ever.”

“What happened to you, Eunice?”

“Do you remember, Alfie? The boy that I met in Pinto?”

“I remember his name…”

“Okay, well, I’m dating him!”

“You’re not…”

“I am!”

“I don’t think he’s right for you, Eunice.”

I could just see her pouting right now. “I asked him out and he said yes. I actually wasn’t expecting him to. Our love is a miracle.”

“Oh, so now you’re in love?”

“Well, no, but I could totally see myself falling in love with him. He’s just so quirky, Flossy. I love that he’s not like every other guy. He doesn’t like me for my looks and he doesn’t want to get into my size gabillion pants. I think he’s good for me, Flossy. I really do.”

“Right, well, congratulations then.”

“I know you really don’t mean it, but thank you!”

She was right. I really didn’t mean it. Did that make me an awful friend? I knew that Alfie would be another name on her already long list. And unlike Santa, I hoped she wouldn’t check it twice.

“I want you to meet him, Flossy. Come down to Pinto next weekend.”

“I really can’t…”

“Come on. It’s a friend thing. He needs your approval. I need it.”

Eunice was kidding herself. She didn’t need my approval. It didn’t matter what I thought because she would always go her own way without giving one thought to my advice. She wasn’t too keen on considering other people’s ideas. That was one of her major flaws. The other was her lack of healthy motivation.

“Fine, whatever. You have to pick me up though.”

“I can do that. Thank you, Flossy!”

+++

I looked outside the passenger window. “This is Pinto? This is it?”

I was expecting something a bit more extravagant. Well, extravagant wasn’t the right word to use. Something more than nothing. I was expecting something. Pinto was literally the middle of nowhere. I saw a chapel, a dead downtown, a sad looking park, and a bunch of houses that had no character. “This is a ghost town, Eunice. Why did you bring me here?”

“It is not a ghost town!” she argued. “This place is filled with life and happiness. And it’s not like you’re living here. You’ll be back in Catalonia in no time. You’re just here to meet Alfie. Then I’ll take you home.”

“Fine,” I grumbled.

She pulled into a driveway. The house was white. The houses next to it were white. Come to think of it, every single house in this town was white. If that screamed diversity, I didn’t hear it. It looked like a town where everyone knew each other. That, in my opinion, was boring. I bet the younger generation was just itching to move away and never look back.

“That’s Alfie’s house,” Eunice said, pointing to a house with a porch swing on it. It was to the left of Eunice’s cousin’s house.

“Oh, he’s your neighbor? How perfect.”

“Isn’t it?” she said happily, completely at peace with herself. “Now, behave.”

“Don’t I always?”

Eunice rolled her eyes. “I’m serious, Flossy.”

“I’ll try.”

Eunice shrugged nonchalantly. “Good enough.”

I waited for her to get out of the car before I started to. “Am I going to meet your cousin before I meet Alfie?”

“They’ll probably be together. They’re friends, you know.”

“I didn’t know, but okay.”

“Remember, best behaviour.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, following her up to Fran’s porch.

Eunice opened the door without ease, pulling the door handle with all of her might. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Oh, it sticks sometimes. It’s a difficult door.”

“I see.”

“Fran!” Eunice called. “Flossy’s here.”

A thin girl, completely opposite from Eunice, appeared. The only thing they had in common was their nose and the toasty hair color. It was curly and pulled back into a ponytail. She smiled politely, sticking her hand out. I shook it. They were somewhat  calloused, but I had no room to judge. I didn’t moisturize my hands either. I didn’t moisturize anything but my hair--but that was only because Mom bought the conditioner.

“Hi, I’m Fran. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Flossy. Me too.”

“Eunice has told me a lot about you.”

I glanced in the culprit’s direction. “Oh, has she?”

Fran nodded. “Anyways, Alfie will be back soon. He’s at Marty’s.”

“Oh, is Marty his friend?”

Fran shrugged. “I don’t know if they’re friends. Alfie sure looks up to him though. Marty’s the candy shop owner,” she explained. “Alfie goes there every day to purchase candy to satisfy his appetite.”

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “Everyday!?”

Fran nodded. “Except on Sundays because they’re closed.”

I sent a curt disapproving look to Eunice, who looked slightly guilty. “So how long do you think he’ll be?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Not long. Probably around fifteen minutes. He usually spends an hour there.”

“But he’s been going there for shorter periods of time,” Eunice piped in, offering her information to Flossy.

“That’s strange to me,” Fran said. “He’d spend days in there if he could.”

“It’s because of me,” Eunice said. “We’re dating now. He’d rather spend his valuable time with me than looking at rows of sweets.”

“I’m not so sure…” Fran said hesitantly, not wanting to offend her cousins.

“Of course it is,” Eunice said sharply. “You’re just jealous that he never wants to spend time with you.”

Fran looked hurt, but didn’t try to argue with Eunice. She was smart because of that, but I felt like she needed to grow a backbone and defend herself. Eunice could be a real bully and say hurtful things sometimes. She nodded reluctantly. “Well, I have star charts to memorize. I’ll see you two later, yeah?”

“Just leave, Fran,” Eunice said bitterly.

“Right. See you at dinner.” And with that, Fran disappeared to her observatory (her bedroom).

“That wasn’t very nice,” I scolded when Fran was out of sight.

Eunice shrugged. “I don’t think she likes me dating Alfie.”

That make two of us, I thought. “But you don’t know that for sure.”

“She’s been acting weird ever since I told her the great news.”

“Maybe she knows something that you don’t. Something really bad and dark about Alfie. You don’t really know him all that well, do you?”

Eunice glared at me. “Are you really doing this right before you get to meet him?”

“I get to meet him? Eunice, this isn’t exactly a privilege for me. I’m in this dumpy town and I get to meet your dumpy boyfriend.”

“Hey! Alfie is not dumpy. And besides, you can’t make that judgement call until after you meet him. Keep an open mind, Flossy.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, Eunice. I’ll try.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You know you coming here meant a lot to me.”

“Why?”

“I mean, I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like your life is too hectic to make room for silly, menial things like meeting my boyfriend.”

I smiled and engulfed her in a hug. “Let’s go meet, Alfie.”

“Actually, we have to wait on the porch until we see him.”

“Right. I forgot.”

I sat down in the leftmost chair. Crossing my legs, I leaned back, making myself comfortable. I daydreamed about Owen. He sort of captured my other thoughts, making himself only present in my head. It was like an authoritarian system--censored media. Slowly, he was taking control of my life. His presence was always there, and I decided that was a problem. I would have to rally against him, overthrowing the regime he established in my heart.

I felt sudden machine gun taps on my arm, courtesy of Eunice. “He’s coming! He’s coming!” she squealed excitedly, jumping up and down. She pointed to him. “That’s him. That is him. That’s my Alfie.” She looked extremely proud as she waved to him maniacally. “Hi. pumpkin muffin!”

I chortled at her choice of nickname for him. Then I was reminded of Owen and his mother’s pumpkin muffins. They weren’t as good as Owen raved they were, but they were still pretty good. I found that they made her thirsty. I took many trips to the drinking fountain that day. I reminded myself to bring a water bottle, because I was sure the distance back and forth had something to do with my always needing to quench my thirst.

I swore I saw him cringe and grimace when Eunice called him by his nickname. Or maybe it was the pure and utter fact that it was Eunice trying to get his attention. Either way, he didn’t look too pleased to see his supposed girlfriend. I found it strange but then remembered it was Eunice. She could be a little clingy when she wanted to. Actually, she was clingy even if she didn’t mean to. I think it came subconsciously to her.

Reluctantly, he made his way over to us. His face showed no sign of happiness unless he glanced down at his hoard of maggots. I might as well call candy maggots. They were detrimental to your health. Whenever he looked at the maggots, something in his eyes glazed over. It was quite sickening to watch, really. It didn’t occur to me that I could’ve looked away, preventing the bile from building up.

The smile he gave Eunice was curt, almost like they were more of acquaintances rather than friends, let alone people in a relationship. Eunice didn’t seem to mind, or notice, because she skipped right up to him, picked him up, and gave him the biggest hug I’ve ever seen in my life. During the hug, he didn’t seem to enjoy that much either. He was sort of a robot, running through life like an item on a conveyor belt. From what I could see, he wasn’t making as much of an effort as Eunice. But then again, if Eunice were to meet someone who made as much as an effort as her, the amount of love in that relationship would be illegal. I’m sure she’d love that though.

Fifteen seconds passed by and Eunice still hadn’t put him down. Alfie tapped her on the shoulder. “Hrm, Eunice.”

“Oh!” she said, giggling. “I’m so sorry.” She put him down. He looked like he was avoiding eye contact with me. “Alfie, this is my very best friend Flossy. Flossy, this is my Alfie.”

Both of us looked uncomfortable. From what Eunice had told me, Alfie and I were polar opposites. The most important things in our lives contrasted, clashed, and everything inbetween. I made the first move. “Hi, I’m Flossy. But I guess you knew that.”

He gave a small wave, still not making eye contact with me. His eyes were shifty, which made me even more suspicious. It suggested that he was doing some sort of illicit substance. “Alfie.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I lied.

“Me too.” Probably another lie.

Eunice was the mediator in our brief, usually two-line conversations. She would ask us questions to try and make a spark, but they were short-lived and in my point of opinion, useless. Sometimes she would run out of steam and creativity in her questions and just ask us how we were doing. It caused for a monotonous, awkward conversation. And then she asked me how my dental studies were going. Alfie’s reply sent a burning jolt of rage in me. “Oh. You’re one of those dental enthusiasts.”

The tone was not kind, nor was it rude. It was dull, but it angered me to no end. I wanted to slap him but because of my promise to Eunice, I couldn’t. He made me feel as if there was something wrong with me because I cared about my teeth. It was obvious that he didn’t. They were chipped and probably had tons of cavities. They would probably fall off the next time he ate candy. She was sure he would be toothless by the time he was in his late twenties, maybe earlier. Either way, she did not want to stick around to witness it. Seeing the photographs were horrifying enough. If Eunice already kissed him, she was a braver soul than I ever would be. Think of all the germs and diseases that could be infiltrating her very body. I didn’t think she had yet because I would’ve known about it. It’s not like I wouldn’t see something like it in my lifetime. I just wouldn’t have a personal connection to it. Their parents (usually kids, maybe college students) would bring them in occasionally for some serious damage control. Alfie’s parents seemed like they would fall under that category, if they even took him at all. I doubted it.

It took everything I had to prevent myself from strangling the kid and give him a number for my dad’s office. I honestly I had no idea what to say to that. I wanted to insult him and point out all his flaws out. Eunice would throw a fit. It could potentially obliterate our friendship into dust that would eventually be swept away by the elements. I opted for the classic “Excuse me?” to give him a chance to take back his words and replace them with something less offensive.

Alfie, stupidly, did not take that chance. He obviously wasn’t experienced with the female gender. “Oh. You’re one of those dental enthusiasts,” he repeated in the same tone and the same volume with the same expression.

I sent a disgruntled look to Eunice, who did nothing about it. She frustrated me on a daily basis. I told myself I didn’t have to put up with this crap from her, but I really did. Her friendship was a part of me and I would regret losing it over a comment her silly little boyfriend made. I’m sure he wasn’t trying to get on my nerves, but he was doing a swell job of it. It’s almost like he had this internal manual on how to get on Flossy’s bad side, because he was definitely following it word for word. She suddenly wondered if such a thing existed. Not for her specifically, but for someone famous like Brad Pitt or Oprah or even someone like Barack Obama. She was sure that the First Lady would be able to spit out a copy lickety split, or within the snap of a finger. Whichever was quicker.

I pursed my lips, willing myself to not say anything that might cause Eunice to lose him. Alfie was gluttonous, inconsiderate towards other people’s feelings, and had absolutely no conversational skills, but as much as I wanted this relationship to end, I had to admit that he was perfect for Eunice. Aside from the fact that I completely and wholly disliked him with every fiber of my being. Apart from their charismatic abilities, I found them extremely similar. Eunice was just more likeable and appealing to me, but maybe I was biased. Alfie was a lot calmer than her, so I guess crabby people who bathed in silence would prefer him over the outspoken Eunice.

Alfie blinked, expecting me to make the next move.

“Well, we all have our opinions.”

“I was just stating a true fact, wasn’t I?”

Well, I guess he was in a way. His inflection didn’t seem to suggest that it was pleasant in any way possible. And I guess for candy lovers like him it wasn’t. The question now was whether or not I should answer to speak my mind or just say “yes” and move on with my life. This wouldn’t impact me too greatly. The comment would just me haunting the back of my mind, making me feel almost guilty for following my dream. I would have to remind myself that it would be better than sitting at home stuffing myself with maggots, or in other words, be Alfie.

“That’s fair.”

“Huh?”

My answer probably didn’t make much sense to him because he’d have to hear my internal debate and rant, but at this point, I didn’t really care. He could remain confused, although I doubted he would dwell on it for very long, if at all. He didn’t exactly leave the impression that he was very smart. He didn’t exude intelligence either.

“Nothing,” I mumbled, hoping this meeting was over soon. I was willing to bet Alfie shared that desire as well. Something that we had in common.

“Okay.”

Thankfully, Eunice sensed that both of us were rolling around in our own misery, courtesy of the other. “Well, I bet you have somewhere to be, Alfie.”

He nodded eagerly. “I should probably go inside. My aunt will be wanting me home for lunch.”

I wanted to ask why he lived with his aunt, but thought about the possibility of it being a sensitive topic. I would ask Eunice about it later. “It was nice meeting you, Alfie,” I lied once more.

“Me too.”

If their relationship were to continue after this weekend and I was to be a part of Eunice’s love life, then this déjà vu feeling would get old real fast.

---

After his first meeting with Flossy, and hopefully his last, Alfie’s mood plummeted like the stock market before the Great Depression. Not only was it incredibly awkward, it was boring a complete waste of time. He could’ve been doing more productive things with his time like eating his daily purchase from Marty’s. Granted it wasn’t much of a step up, but it would’ve been better than hanging out with the wannabe dentist.

Eunice was thankfully keeping Flossy company, so the other Gables would keep him company tonight. When Alfie told Fran she didn’t have to talk to him, she insisted, telling him that they needed to “catch up.” He did not object. The pastries and desserts always tasted sweeter and more succulent when she brought them. Eunice delivered them cold, well, as cold as they could get in a summer afternoon. Fran made sure to pop them into the oven for a few minutes before she came to visit, that way they’d taste fresher. Fran was more considerate of the little things like that. He wished Eunice would do the same sort of stuff s her, but he was too reserved to ask her to. They weren’t bad or distasteful by any means, but they certainly weren’t to their full potential. That seemed  to be a recurring theme in Eunice.

“Long time no see,” Fran said, taking a seat next to Alfie. She was grinning.

Alfie couldn’t help but smile back at his friend. To him, it seemed as if he hadn’t properly seen Fran in ages. “I saw you yesterday.”

“Well, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I brought you some lemon bars.” She picked up the styrofoam plate that sat next to her. She offered it to Alfie. “Have some.”

Alfie couldn’t  resist Fran’s baking. He grabbed it enthusiastically, ready to crumble the moist citrus square in his mouth. Before he stuffed the entire thing in, he took a tiny nibble to make sure the flavor blast wouldn’t take him by surprise. It tasted like sweet lemon, and he was sure Fran put more powdered sugar on his pieces than the others. She knew how much he liked powdered sugar. They were gone faster than what should’ve been humanly possible.

“What color house do you want when you grow up, Alfie?” Fran asked.

Alfie shrugged his narrow shoulders. He didn’t think about stuff like that. He thought only girls did. “I’ve never really thought about it,” he replied.

“Oh. Well I want a white house.”

Alfie scrunched his nose. “Why white?”

“Everybody has a white house!” Fran said, laughing.

Alfie shook his head in disagreement. “Not everybody. Miss Walden’s house isn’t.” Miss Walden’s house was a light buttery color. Alfie thought the yellow was rather quaint and cheery. Everyone else around here tried to pretend that they were a part of a higher class society, a gated community if you will. Miss Walden knew where she belonged, and she accepted it. She thrived on it.

Miss Walden was in her mid-thirties. Carl Dorfman said that her baby was stolen in the middle of the night by the baby’s father, and that’s why she was so crazy. Alfie didn’t believe that that’s why she was a little odd. Carl Dorfman was a notorious liar and often exaggerated the stories he told. No one could fully believe and put their trust in his tall tales. Alfie had to admit that they were entertaining though. He didn’t think she was crazy either. A little eccentric, maybe, but she was certainly not crazy. He accepted the possibility that he could be a smidge biased. She would always have a full jar of gumdrops when Alfie arrived to visit her home.

Fran has a funny look on her face. I knew it was because she didn’t take to Miss Walden very well. Not many people did.

“You don’t like her, do you?” Alfie asked accusingly.

“Never said I didn’t.”

“Never said you did,” Alfie countered.

A brief moment of silence passed before Alfie spoke again. “She’s real sweet,” he murmured quietly.

“Whatever you say, Alfie,” she said, unconvinced.

Alfie persisted, coming to Miss Walden’s defense. “I’m not joking, Fran. Why don’t you want to meet her?”

“I have met her,” Fran informed him. She was my kindergarten teacher.”

“Then you know she’s not crazy!”

“She wasn’t crazy then, Alfie. But she’s crazy now.”

“She is not!”

“She is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Then come with me.”

“What?”

“Come with me to see her again,” Alfie said.

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea…”

“Let me prove to you that she’s not as batty as everyone thinks!”

Fran creased her brow, making it appear as if she had a unibrow. “What if she is as nuts as everybody thinks, Alfie?” Fran reasoned quietly. “What if we’re hurt?”

“I’ve been to her house plenty of times and I’m still alive.”

“I just don’t want to take the risk, Alfie.”

Alfie had a bitter expression on his face. He tapped foot angrily, impatiently, and thunderously on the floor of the porch. “You have to give everyone a chance.”

“I don’t have to.”

“Fine,” he said. “Then I won’t give you a chance.”

With that, he threw the plate onto Fran’s lap, and stormed hotly into the house. The fact that everyone made assumptions about Miss Walden was maddening. The fact that they wouldn’t confirm those assumptions was infuriating. He could not even begin to explain the disappointment that was haphazardly sinking into his mind. It was like being in a mental quicksand. The more he thought about it, the faster he fell into a violent and raging mood. He was incredibly upset with Fran. He thought that of all people she would be the one to understand, or at least try to anyways. He thought she would be kind and considerate enough to let Miss Walden explain herself like she had explained herself to Alfie, even though he insisted that he didn’t need to know. Alfie considered telling Fran what tragic event had occurred to Miss Walden but decided that it was too personal and she needed hear it from Miss Walden herself to get the full effect. Alfie couldn’t explain it very well either. He would stutter and stumble on the words, only remembering fragments of the horror story.

One way or another, he would clear Miss Walden’s name. He would emancipate her from the pity and disgusted looks, the hushes and whispers whenever she walked by, and the ridicule she dealt with from everybody in Pinto. He made it his duty, and he would start with Fran. It would not be an easy task, as she was timid from her experience, but by the time he accomplished his goal, everyone in Pinto would adore her the way he did. He was sure of it.