I walk out of the cafeteria line, balancing my tray in one hand and my water bottle in the other. I'm about to sit down when James comes in front of me. I smile, and look him over. Damn. I see what Isabella and Lydia were talking about. 

I'm not into guys. When we're at the mall and Bella and Lydia are checking out boys, I look at girls instead.

But I smile and greet James anyways. "Did you need something?"

"So, did Bella tell you about me and her?" he asks, almost whispering. I laugh.

"Of course," I respond. "No need to whisper. It's not like its a secret." 

"Of course," he says cautiously, seeming like he doesn't exactly believe me. "Anyways, I got confronted by Jovina just now."

"Uh oh," I say, my smile dropping. "What did she say? Are you ok?"

My mom, my dad, my brother, Bella, Lydia, everybody has always told me I'm too sweet. I'm constantly worried about somebody else and always want to make sure everybody feels good. That's why, sometimes, when we're pranking Jovina or somebody, I instantly feel guilty and want to stop. Of course, I don't tell Bella or Lydia, but the guilt always piles up inside my stomach until I want to sprint to the nearest bathroom and let it all out.

So right now, the guilt is piling up. I feel bad for James, Bella and Jovina, and that worry is being throwing onto the guilt from yesterday when we prank called Jovina. I'm terrified Jovina said something about Bella that will ruin her life again, or James yelled at Jovina for being possesive or something.

"She said something about Isabella, and how I shouldn't be with her?" 

My heart drops to the floor. "Oh dear." Who do I stand up for? Bella, my best friend, or Jovina, my ex-friend?

"What did she mean?" he asks me, sounding genuinely worried. I bite my lip. Bella doesn't like talking about what Jovina did to her, and I know she would think James might look at her differently if he knew the truth, so I decided to stick away from telling their life story. 

"Well, you see, um..." I fumbled with the words. Along with being too sweet, I wasn't the best with words. Bella and Lydia were definitely more outgoing than I was. I could either defend Bella, or say something bad about Jovina. Bella and Lydia would probably go with both options, but the guilt would pile way too high if I went with the second option, and I would probably have to sprint away, into the bathroom.

"Listen, Isabella is amazing," I say, defending her. "She is my best friend, and I wouldn't listen to Jovina. Sometimes she gets jealous, and she says stuff that isn't true."

Oh no. The guilt is carefully flowing up my stomach and throat...

"Oh," says James, not seeming completely satisfied with my answer. "Well, I understand. "If there's anything else you could tell me, I'd appreciate it because I want to understand and help Jovina, and Bella too."

He keeps talking, but I'm listening. Instead my focus is on the overwhelming feeling that's building up inside of me. 

That's it. I can't take it. 

I turn and sprint into the bathroom, letting my insides and guilt out into the toilet. I feel much better after, but I know that tomorrow it will all come back and I'll repeat this process.