Mia held her resolve for as long as she could. With her arms crossed, she kept her gaze on the wall, listening as Leila slammed the front door. For one, two, three seconds, Mia kept a straight face in case Leila opened the door again. However, when Mia heard Leila's footsteps retreating, it was then that she broke down. Slowly, Mia slid down from the couch and onto the floor holding her knees to her body. Sobs began to wrack through her body, except this time, Leila wasn't around to comfort her.

She loves me? Since when? Why would she love me? Mia thought. All the work she had done to push Leila away had meant nothing in the end. Somehow or other, she had stupidly managed to make Leila fall in love with her instead.

I have to go after her, Mia thought, slowly rising to her feet. She made it only a few steps before she sunk down once more.

I'm so foolish, Mia thought. All this time, I've been trying to distance myself from Leila...from Maine...when in actuality, I've been attached nearly as soon as I stepped foot back here.

Now, she had nearly severed her relationship with Leila. Even if they managed to make up, Mia knew it would never be the same, not after Leila's confession. 

Mia stared at her palms, thinking briefly of Leila's confession. She was too lost in a swirl of emotions to consider anything about it in the moment. What Mia had said in response was true. She didn't cheat. She certainly wasn't going to return Leila's feelings as long as she was together with Julian.

A knock at the door made Mia rise to her feet. She paused for a moment, frightened. Was it Leila? No. She would've had the key. Julian? He had to be driving home by now.

Trembling, Mia approached the door and opened it, finding an employee from the leasing office standing at her doorstep.

"Good evening, ma'am. How are you?"

Mia wiped some spare tears from her eyes and sniffed some. "Fine," she said. "Is there an issue?"

"We've gotten some noise complaints. A neighbor claimed he heard two women yelling. Is everything all right?"

"Fine," Mia lied.

"Do you need me to call the police?" the man asked.

"I'm fine," Mia insisted. "My roommate and I were having an argument. No one was hurt. She's left for a bit."

"If you change your mind, we can call someone—"

"I'm fine," Mia repeated again, shutting the door. Once she heard his footsteps slowly dissipate, she began crying once more.

That night, Mia barely slept, her argument with Leila keeping her awake for hours on end. She didn't move to grab her phone when Julian tried calling and texting her, and as the days slowly passed, she began to ignore everything around her. 

Mia didn't go to work, deciding to call out of her shifts. She kept the blinds drawn and the lights off. When she did manage to eat, it was nothing more than some leftovers or delivery. Sometimes, Mia would turn on the television for a distraction, but it never worked long. She'd quickly scan her phone when she got a new notification, but it was always just Julian, and each time, Mia ignored him.

I'm stupid for thinking Leila would want to talk to me, Mia thought as the disappointment flooded through her body every time a new text message failed to be Leila.

During those few days, Mia never felt more alone. The pain and sadness that had invaded her life strongly resembled the first few days after her mother died. With a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders, Mia would gaze into Leila's bedroom, thinking she might be there, or look longingly into the kitchen, expecting that Leila would be making a dinner for the two of them, but the apartment was empty and silent. Although she hated to admit it, Mia even missed the annoying meows of Leila's cat.

One morning, Mia sat on her bed, clutching her covers close to her body. She'd spent the past few days in and out of tears, managing to sleep at various intervals throughout the day. She stared at the bits of light peeking through her curtains and finally decided to consider Leila's confession more deeply.

You're an idiot. I love you. 

The words rang clear in Mia's ears.

How could she love me? Mia thought. I put a distance between us. I tried to tear us apart. Even when we were getting along, I took advantage of her. Yet she never asked for anything in return. Why did she care about me like that?

Mia stood from her bed and pulled the curtain back slightly. The light stung her eyes, and she squinted as she stared out the window. The leaves were becoming even more beautiful as autumn blew in. She was sure Leila would comment on how beautiful the foliage looked if she were still around.

It's like I told Leila. I never had an issue with dating women. I've just never thought of Leila that way, Mia thought. But I can't consider it too deeply. At the end of the day, I'm with Julian. That's the way it'll stay, I'm sure, so there's not a point in thinking much about it.

Yet, during the night when she tossed and turned, she remembered when Leila had come and comforted her during the thunderstorm. How had she remembered that Mia didn't like thunderstorms? Why did she choose to go to Mia in that moment? Those thoughts haunted Mia late into night.

I should've just been honest, Mia thought tearfully. Leila asked what was wrong. I was too scared to tell her that Julian and I almost broke up. I pushed her away. Now we probably won't even be friends when she returns.

On day four without Leila, Mia sat on the couch, eating a bag of chips she had found in the cupboard. The chips were lackluster in flavor and tasted like nothing on her tongue, but her stomach had been growling so loudly that she was no longer able to take it and needed something to eat. In the background, a reality show ran on TV. Mia had been too lost in her thoughts to pay much attention to what she had been watching.

A knock at the door made Mia stiffen. She slowly put the bag of chips down and shuffled to the door. She was frightened in thinking it might be the same employee again, this time with the police, but instead, when she opened the door, she found Julian standing in front of her.

"Jesus, Mia, you've been in here the whole time?!" Julian exclaimed. He immediately wrapped her up in a hug. Although Mia would've preferred to see Leila, she melted into his arms anyway, desperate for the touch of another person.

"What the hell have you been doing all this time?" Julian asked as he walked inside. "I've tried to get ahold of you for days! I even stopped by the café, but they said you called out work."

"Sorry," Mia murmured. "My phone was off."

"I'm just glad you're okay," Julian said. "I was worried sick about you," he said. 

He leaned down and kissed her. Mia returned his kiss halfheartedly.

Julian glanced around the darkened apartment. "Jeez, would it kill you have to a little light in here?" he asked, pulling the curtains back. The light stung Mia's eyes. She hadn't let this amount of sunlight pour into the apartment for days. 

"It's freezing in here, too," Julian remarked. His eyes gazed at the thermostat. "You don't even have the heat on. Jesus, what am I going to do with you?" he grumbled.

Mia sat back down on the couch and wrapped her blanket around her again. She wished Julian would just go home. She was perfectly content staying holed up in the apartment for a few days longer.

After turning the heat on and opening a few more curtains, Julian took a seat on the couch beside her. Mia remained quiet, staring ahead at the television screen. She felt his fingers reach and tuck a strand of hair back behind her ears.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," Mia grumbled.

"Mia," Julian said, more harshly this time.

"Leila and I fought after you left, okay?! It's fine. She went home to be with her family for a while. I've had the apartment to myself," Mia said.

"Why didn't you answer my calls or texts?" Julian asked. "I was about ready to report you missing, you know that?"

"Would it kill you to stop being so needy all the time?!" Mia exclaimed. She immediately saw the hurt reflect in Julian's eyes. "Sorry. I haven't slept much," she admitted.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just don't like being alone, that's all," Mia said.

"Then why didn't you answer my phone calls?" Julian asked. When Mia didn't answer, he let out a large sigh. "I've never seen you like this before," he admitted. "Do you often lock yourself in your room for days at a time?"

"No," Mia said. Not for several years had she been sent into a depressive enough episode to do so. These were things she had always kept from Julian though. It was only Leila who had known to a certain extent, except this time, Leila had been the cause of it.

"I'll go back to work tomorrow," Mia admitted. Now that she'd been discovered, it was useless for her to lay around feeling sorry for herself. Life was going to continue on, with or without Leila.

"Want me to stay here with you?" Julian asked.

"No," Mia quickly interjected.

"You sure? You said you don't like being alone," he said.

"I'll be okay. Like I said, I'll start going to work, and I'll make sure my phone is on so I see your calls and texts," Mia said.

"Okay," Julian said hesitantly. He leaned back on the couch and wrapped an arm around her. "What show is this?"

"I don't know. Some reality show. Whatever was on," Mia said. "I don't know how to work the remote like Leila does."

Julian finagled with it until he found a football game on television. Mia sunk back into the cushions of the couch. She glanced at Julian, once more wishing he would leave. She'd keep her promise. She'd return to normal life tomorrow. For now though,  she wanted the apartment to herself the rest of the evening, no matter how lonely she felt.

"So Leila just left?" Julian asked.

"Uh-huh."

"When's she coming back?"

"I don't know," Mia murmured.

Julian paused for a moment. "Your roommate's kind of a bitch."

Mia immediately sat up and reached for the remote, turning the television off. She'd cried over Leila for days, and yet, that comment made her feel more enraged than anything Leila had ever said to her.

"Turn it back on, the game was just getting good," Julian complained.

"Don't talk about Leila like that," Mia growled.

Julian narrowed his eyes. "What, you think she should've kicked me out?"

"Not necessarily. It was my fault she kicked you out anyway. I broke our agreement," Mia said.

"She sounds bossy," Julian grumbled.

"I don't appreciate you talking about Leila like that," Mia said.

"What? You think I'm wrong?" Julian asked. "You just told me she walked out on you. I was worried sick about you. I hadn't heard from you in days. Did she ever try to check in on you? Did she know you were moping around the apartment like this?"

"No, but—"

"Then I think I'm justified in what I said," Julian argued.

Mia sunk back into the couch and returned the remote to him, still bothered by his comment, though she knew there was some truth in it. Leila had to have known what being alone was doing to her, but Mia also respected the fact that they both needed space.

Despite her wishes to be alone, Julian remained with Mia until late evening. After ordering pizza for both of them, he took off, leaving her alone once more.

As Mia shut the door behind Julian, she turned and stared at her empty apartment. Reaching for her phone, she shot a quick text to her boss to share she'd be in the next day. Then, she took a seat on the couch once more. Looking ahead at the wall, Mia felt more conflicted than ever. The solitude was driving her insane, Julian was driving her insane, but she couldn't figure out her place in all of it. Who should she apologize to? What would her next steps forward be?

Sighing, Mia buried her head in her arms and groaned, realizing she'd most likely have to get used to being alone for the time being. 

Her phone buzzed. 

She quickly turned, hoping it was a text from Leila, but it was just Julian letting her know he'd text her when he got home. She was tempted to ignore it, but she texted him back telling him to drive safe and that she'd go to bed soon.

Mia slowly stood up, retreated to her bedroom, and once again had a night of on-and-off sleep.