Dedicated to shizbliss and kumisawriter my loves😭😭😭😭and Bridgette3005 ❤️❤️

Paul's POV

Getting home and seeing my daughter's lifeless body,  I lost it but hearing that my mom and Melody knew about Fiona I was angry I didn't mean to hurt Melody of course I love my son and her...I just didn't know how to feel.

My mom saw how it broke me when Fiona left without a word and why didn't she tell me but she told Melody I get melody she couldn't hurt me but I can't help but feel like the two most important women in my life let me down.

I got her messages but I couldn't bring myself to answer her I know it's not her fault I just feel so angry.

I drank like a fish just to numb the pain, every time I felt the pain I would numb it sadly that was a temporary solution...I didn't go to work so my dad took over...

Melody came when I was still drinking and gave me Leas letters why the hell did I throw a glass at her that could have hurt them...shit I hope I Dont lose her again I'm such a fool...

When I was sure she was safely home I had her followed by my security guys...I went to the study and opened the first letter.

She reminded me of how I find it hard to forgive people but expect them to forgive me...Melody didn't deserve the treatment.

I read the letter.... as my 5-year-old daughter taught me how to treat people and she did a great job I started feeling like shit...The last part of her letter broke me....she said...

I'm always near even it feels I'm not and I won't stop loving and watching over you, melody arne, and your other kids oh and granny...

Daddy, I know losing me is going to break you but please Dont let it make you sad I know you love me I love you too always will but you need to move on knowing I'm with you forever I've known you for 5 years and those were the best years of my life because you never failed to show me love...the love you Dont give yourself...

Please try to move on knowing moving on doesn't mean you have forgotten about me but life does go on and you are alive for a reason.

Arne, Melody, and Grandma need you as you can see life is short and not promised so live for me please and love for me and mommy we will always be there for you.

Oh, the other 2 letters are just instructions on how to turn that room into the perfect nursery for Arne and Mel's baby shower....'

Mel said she saw Dr. Miller...

Just as I was about to put the letters away the scan fell...

When I was done with the letter and scan I cried so much I stopped drinking I just need to find a way to make it up to Melody she forgave me when I didn't deserve it and now she deserves it they both do.

I've been so hard on her I bet because I find it hard to forgive myself too but I'm gonna learn how to forgive not only for  my family,  but for myself I know it won't be easy but a man can try right?

I woke up the following day and went to the office and made up for the times I missed.... I sent  emails apologizing to clients and investors.

Mr. Parkinson was there and speaking to him made me feel so much better he understands me more than my own father.

Then I called my interior designers and gave them Leas ideas and they worked really hard on what she wanted when I was done I was proud of myself now I needed a better plan I planned her baby shower and asked my mom not to tell her I organized it I wanted to make up to her but didn't know where to begin but the shower is start right?

I told her I Dont have a son...fuck I'm sick so I called my mom and we spoke I guess I understand why she did what she did I asked her never to come between me and my wife again because she nearly broke us up...secrets are bad.

We agreed to never keep anything from each other because it's just too messy.

A week later it was her baby shower I asked my mom to do it at her house because I knew she wouldn't want to go anywhere.....She saw me but ignored me at first, she looked so beautiful ....we had a great day I just wanted to give her space her other present was a maternity photoshoot from Justine and she was more than happy to do it...

Her mother wasn't invited thank God she would have ruined this moment for us...the shower was full of people we cared about and I made sure she had a great day she deserves that and more.....

I saw her walk in the kitchen and I followed her...she wasn't wearing her ring FUCK....

"I'm sorry Mel"

"Paul"

"Don't say anything I'm sorry okay"

"You have to stop treating me like I'm your emotional punching bag Paul I cannot handle and will not tolerate it"

"I agree that's exactly what my therapist said" yes I forgot to say I'm going to a therapist once a week my mother got me...it helps to not bottle things up men cry too..they hurt too.

"Your what"

"I finally took everyone's advice and I'm seeing a therapist to work on my issues"

She didn't say anything she hugged me more like Arne hugged me.

"Someone is grown "

"Very he's doing backflips in my tummy"

"I'm happy that you are both okay"

"Thanks, Rosie has been amazing"

"Mel"

"Yeah"

"I love you so much and I don't want to lose you again you don't have to say it back I just wanted to say it"

"I love you too Paul...I just don't want to go to your house yet"

"I understand at least you're with my mom and it's our house, not mine alone"

"It doesn't feel like ours anymore you kicked me out pregnant Paul"

"I know Mel I'm sorry ok I'll make it up to you remember I said we can start over as many times as we can "

A tear fell down her cheek...I made her cry and made her feel alone for weeks...I need to learn how to love so I can love her like she deserves to be loved....

I  wiped her tear and she spoke...

"I'm gonna go back to Tia see you, Paul"

I just nodded and kissed her cheek because they were calling her to come to play games Tia is crazy guys.....the games we played, of course, I have to end up wearing a diaper and a pacifier ...anything to win them back...

🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆🙈

shizbliss ill make it up to her☺️🥺🤞🏾

I apologize for grammar errors and stuff 🥺...

See you next week.🥺☺️