This chapter is dedicated to my good friend Nasir_Jay ❤️❤️❤️

As soon as we heard her screams we knew deep down she had left us...we ran upstairs only to see her little body lying on her bed lifeless...Is it normal to feel so much pain?

Why does life have to be so bad at times?

We all cried and called Paul we couldn't tell him on the phone so when he got in the house I hid at the back hearing him scream and cry broke me in pieces and I just sat in the grass totally forgetting it's wet ...I cried for this angel and for Pual...

He came outside and found me on the grass as he joined me and we cried but told each other things she would say it was turned into a funny moment and for a second we escaped from reality.....I showed him her pictures and he smiled...

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

The diener came to fetch her and we instructed him what to do...she was to be cremated and her ashes scattered at the ocean...

We couldn't sleep at all, it was one of the hardest night of my life Paul was a zombie I went to his room and just slept next to him...he tossed and turned the whole night...

Even holding him didn't help....loss is one of the most painful things it makes you numb...

2 days later

We all got ready to bid the angel goodbye I felt so much pain but every time Arne kicked it was as if he knew I needed this...

This dress would have to do...had to wear flats I can't handle heels right now...Paul wore a suit and he looked lost seeing so much pain in his eyes killed a part of me...

God help him heal.....

When we were both done we drove in silence I tried to play music but Paul asked if we could switch it off...

We were driving to the boat apparently it's her boat Rosie got it for her and they would come here we all did our best to make her happy...

Tia, Freddie joined us too I'm so happy they were able to come...then my parents walked came in last...

We walked to the boat and got on it and sat there talking the boat ride was weird.....after we scattered her ashes and we all prayed with the priest...Paul stood at the corner I was scared he might jump so I just asked him to come to sit with us while we had something to drink.....he had water and sat in silence...while we were getting ready to go back I was snacking on the apple when the devil spoke...who called her again.

"She is with her mother now son," she said that smiling...I was tempted to push her so she could drown....urgh

Paul turned and looked at her like she's an alien..." what" he said

"Yeah Paul didn't your amazing wife tell you"

"Wait what did you just say"

"She knew about Fiona"

"Can you say what you.."

"Before we answer that did you tell your husband about the son you gave up for adoption Maria"? Miss Rosie said

Her eyes got big like how dare you to take out people's business when you have your own didn't Jesus teach you anything when he said let him without sin cast the first stone... This was a weird moment the look of disgust on my father's face and Paul oh my God Paul...

"Mom can we drop that for now so she tells me what she meant about Fiona" Paul said

There was a moment of silence then she-devil said " Fiona was sick too like lea she didn't want to hurt you so she lied and the rest is history she died 5 months after dropping her off"

"Shut up Maria it's none of your damn business, "my dad said

And she kept quiet luckily we were nearly on dry land the boat stopped and Paul couldn't wait o get off.... he gave me a horrible look and left he walked so fast I couldn't keep up the baby was too heavy...

This is a nightmare.....

"Babe please wait"

"Now you want me to wait"

"I can explain Paul"

"For how long have you known this"

"It's been a few weeks"

"You looked at me everyday laughed with me, I told you I hated Fiona and yet you didn't think I needed to know"

"I didn't know how to tell you," I said with sincerity...

"Please go and fetch your stuff and go back to that fucken Hell hole you call a house I Dont want to see you, I trusted you, Melody"

"What about your son," I said that with tears in my eyes

"I Dont have a son"

"Paul you can't do.....you can't say that about Arne"

"You can't do this to me again.....to us Paul...Paul, please forgive me I was going to tell you "I whispered that.

It didn't matter because he kept walking and not looking back.

I couldn't keep up I couldn't walk anymore...

I felt like I couldn't breathe...tears didn't stop flowing I know I hurt him but he can't do that he can't say that about our child he was conceived out of love and there's no way he meant that right?

I walked to our car he was gone Rosie was right behind me she held me while I cried and she held me as we walked to her car.

Tia came after and I told her I'd call her.

My mother had a smirk on her face...

I got in Rosie's car ....and she drove to our house to fetch my clothes while I couldn't move I remembered the letters and I couldn't give them to him not yet...so we packed everything he wasn't in our house where was he? God, please keep him safe. When we were done we got in the car and left....

Rosie drove us home my new home.

"I'm so sorry it's my fault"

"It's not really "

"It is I failed my son"

"You are an amazing mom and soon he will realize that"

"You are amazing too ,he's mourning and just needs someone to blame he doesn't mean anything he said"

"Thank you, I just need a few weeks I'll move out after......" I said while she cut short my sentence.

"Dont be ridiculous you'll stay with us till you are strong enough okay you are almost there"

"Thank you, Rosie"...

We drove in silence and when I turned the radio what a man played and I thought of our time.... last time we confirmed the sex of our baby...I switched it off it was too painful.

We got to her house and she showed me the guest room and I showered and got in bed I tried calling texting over and over and over no response, I think he blocked me...

I sent tia a text and she said she will come to see me the following day.

I was just saying that I honestly Dont want to anyone in just gonna look myself in my new room forever yeap....

My life just fell apart and I have no idea how to fix it...I slept with a heavy heart that night I couldn't eat I'm so sorry baby boy mommy can't keep anything down.....my mom looked happy she just destroyed my marriage...what kind of a mother is she?

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