This chapter is dedicated to GingerHerself my sweetheart ❤️❤️❤️

Running to Paul and holding him because he needed me I didn't even realize what the kitchen looked like...

Our kitchen looked like there was a wrestling match between Paul ,the glasses and plates....he was drunk with blood dripping from his knuckles he was a mess,  that beautiful man I'm Inlove with looked broken and that broke my heart into a million pieces....

"Lea was in a bad state today we rushed her to the ER, and I was made to wait outside but I saw them trying to resuscitate her, then she came back"

That's the thing about life or being with someone who's sick even though you know in your heart they will leave you it's still hard to let go it doesn't make the pain bearable.

It takes time before your heart accept what you already know.

"What kind of father am I, I'd rather see her suffer everyday then let her go"

"You're an amazing father babe " I didn't know what to say there's nothing he could have done .

"Paul everything will be okay"

I held his hand and took him to our couch and came with the first aid kit to clean his wounds and kissed his hands when I was done .... I thought of our honeymoon how he took care of me and smiled.

"Paul we need to find a way...to"

"Don't say it Mel she's not your daughter so you won't  understand, I hate Fiona for doing this but atleast she would understand "

His words were like a knife in my heart it hurt not only because she's not my biological daughter but because Paul said it....i know he's hurting so ill let that slide and the guilt is eating me up knowing what I know....

This is how my parents hurt me I thought I was wrong so I allowed them to hurt me...guilt is the worst feeling it can destroy a person but now I have someone who needs me Arne and I'll start fighting back...

I got up and told him goodnight he tried to talk to me but I ignored him and went to my room and locked it...took off all my clothes and showered...

I needed a moment too I love Paul so much but I needed to give him a bit of space...

My phone vibrated and I checked it to see him sending messages on WhatsApp.

I'll talk to him...but now I need to sleep because  I'm drained emotionally....

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The following day I woke up before Paul and drove to the hospital I left him a note though...

I got to the reception and asked them for her room number then went to Leas room and there my baby was lying there pale as ever her dry chapped pink lips what he'll she must be going through...i took out my lipgloss and applied it on her lips.....

A small girl next to her said morning and I looked at her...she smiled at me and her small sad face spoke a story my heart couldn't handle...i smiled at her and she went out with one of the nurses..I wonder where they were taking her...

Lea woke up and we spoke a bit she was going back home the following day, apparently she got an infection but they managed to help her...her life right now is proof that God is near...i finished with her and drove to Tia to cry my eyes out and as usual she held me and made me feel better...

I got home and Paul was out he went to see Miss Rosie thank God...I was not ready to talk to him....

We spoke about everything and things got better...

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36 Weeks

I swear I'm ready to pop...

36 weeks pregnant and now I feel like a whale (not making fun of women I've been pregnant and looked worse)that my mom called me weeks back I've been avoiding her like a plague The last thing I need is to be told I look like a whale when I feel unpretty all the time....

I got up and did everything I needed to do even though the soap fell in the shower ,I kicked it how dare it trap me like that I just left it there.... i thought of taking my pics I did all this while Paul looked at me making me laugh...

I'd say he's better he smiles more now and makes jokes this is the Paul I missed.

He felt bad for that fight and drinking.... I'm grateful for him because he never made me feel fat or ugly he's so supportive.

After my mini photoshoot, I had to go to Melai Galleries to fix a few things an set things up I've been working almost every day I love it though.

"Please tell me you're gonna change that dress"

"Why"

"It's  too tight"

"Are you saying I'm fat"

"No you're sexy and that's the problem men will be drooling looking at that ass" then he smacked it really???

"First of all I don't care about them and two I'm taken .......Urgh you're fucking annoying Marks"

"I'm  only changing because I want to change "he laughed

This will do.

I kised him goodbye and left .

I got busy and had a good day people really love Melai Galleries ...I had a surprise delivery of cheese fries and burgers from Tia she's heaven sent....

"You are my everything I swear"

"You're  welcome "

"How's  work"

"Nice and busy " but

"Still stressing about that thing, we are closer and happier and it's only a matter of time because my mom knows "

"What the hell you told her "

"Do I look like I'm a fool?"

"uhn is that a trick question "

I slapped her arm and she laughed , we spoke a bit but she had to go and fetch her kids from school .

After a while she left and I got busy again finished around 5 pm and drove home I found Paul sleeping. I woke him up because I made a quick meal for us .

After we ate he got a call to go see Mr.Parkinsons and I told him I'm going to see Lea and Rosie and he agreed so he drove me to his mother's house and then went to meet Mr. Parkinsons.

"How are you beautiful "Rosie said as I blushed

"Heavy "

She laughed and hugged me she was kind of busy so I went to Lea.

"My favorite girl"

"Hey melly"i smiled at her

"Youre an angel Mel"

"Indeed I am "

She got up and went to her bag that was on top of her small pink table and removed 4 letters I was shocked as she handed them to me.

"3 are for daddy after I pass on and 1 is for you "

"Lea you must know if I cry now I won't stop"i said...

"When I meet my other mommy I want you guys to be happy again I know daddy won't take it well but he has you and granny and lil man okay"

What am I supposed to say....i nodded an Hugged her , I wonder what her letters are going to say .

"I want my ashes to be scattered in the ocean okay"

"Okay"

"Its okay you dont have to be sad"

"I'll try angel"

"Im gonna sleep a bit I love you Mel okay" she kissed my cheek and I Dont know why but that felt like she was saying goodbye...i ignored that feeling .

"I love you too angel" then I left her alone switched her lights off and sat with Rosie as we spoke about a lot of things .

"Miss Rosie it's Lea she....she is...." Nurse Jessi was screaming and crying...

"This can't be "........

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

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