So this is it. The start of the rest of our lives. Well, my life I guess. I'm sure I'll be in this alone for the most part. I have friends but you know how it goes, after graduation we started losing touch with each other. Everyone is moving all around, including myself. I run a hand through my purple hair and pull it into a loose ponytail on the top of my head. It's not very long, but it's long enough that it gets in my eyes. I grab the last of the boxes from the moving truck and smack the side of the truck, and someone jumps in the driver's seat.
"That's the last of it, Andy," I say, walking him up from probably a very peaceful nap. It's the perfect day for an outdoor nap really, not too hot outside, not too chilly. Andy was also listening to some reggae music, so the vibes were there. "Thanks again for all your help, don't be a stranger."

"Yeah, it's really no problem. Anything for an old friend," He says, smiling sheepishly. I smile back and go into the large building in front of me. While my family is rich, I'd prefer not to be indebted to them, so I've saved to pay for this seaside penthouse since I was old enough to work. I've scored a nice graphic design job in the area too, lucky to my dad's influence. Such a cold man makes such warm bright children's films, adored by families all over the world. That's beside the point though, my backstory is basically like any other Wattpad or AO3 fanfiction.

Since I'm so close to the ocean, I have to turn all the lights in the penthouse off at 9 pm so I didn't get much packing done that night. Just enough to dig out a wine glass, and a bottle of red and push my sofa to the large window overlooking the oceanside. Looking at the big bright full moon and drinking wine, I decide it's the perfect time to put on some slow old jazz songs.

I love jazz music, especially oldies stuff but the problem is that almost every song that comes on is about love in some way or another; Lovesickness, puppy love, unrequited love, falling in love, falling out of love, heartbreak; it's all about love in some way shape or form. It makes me think hard. I'm still not sure whether that's a good thing or not. I have a sort of heartache myself. I long for it. I long to feel as though I'm walking on water when I'm with someone. I'd love to smile to myself every time I think of them. I smile to myself just thinking of it.

My problem is that I can never find love. I've had crushes sure, but only for fleeting moments in time. I've been in lust lots of times, which can be confused with love, especially if you're a horny teenager who's just ready to be tangled in sheets time after time again. Lust and sex are nice and all, but I always wondered what it would be like to have slow sex. Sex with someone I'm truly in love with. No sex at all, if that's what they preferred. I need it not to even matter what I'm doing with someone. I just want to enjoy each other's company. I want to learn so much about this person.
I don't have a certain person in mind while I daydream like this, but I imagine several possibilities of who they could be. A strong bisexual man with ice-cold blue eyes and jet black hair, maybe some freckles. I could definitely be into the bad boy type. Maybe a businesswoman, with long swoopy red hair who knows exactly what she's about and what she works for. Whether it's a dream vacation, dream home, or working simply to stop working soon and settle into early retirement. I want to know these people's favorite colors, their favorite place to eat dinner, their favorite animals, and what they look like when they sleep, when they eat and when they laugh. I want to see their super embarrassing baby pictures. Perhaps the businesswoman was a skinny baby because she was born early despite her larger physique. My mental images drone on and on until I fall asleep, long after my glass is empty and I have no need to refill it. Long after a few stars start to show in the night sky as the city lights along the coast dim and fade out completely. Long after the city's eyelids grew heavy with sleep and eventually gave in to falling softly asleep.

HIIII Tysm for reading. Pls, drop a comment saying preferences on how often I should update//what you think//what you'd want me to improve on for the next chapter. I'm excited you read my story and I hope you love it so far! I might be able to update more but they might slow down around August/September because of school =((

-<3 ashtonpassion