"And I'll never go home, again."

...

"Why didn't you tell me earlier that it was today?!" I impatiently questioned, packing my backpack in a hurry.

"Well, we wanted to surprise you!" Olivia shrugged, helping me pack my important stuff that I would need for the trip.

"You should've cautioned me!" I blurted with a frown, rushing to my closet as I opened it. "I hate surprises!"

"Since when you don't like surprises?" Olivia raised her eyebrow, making me irritated.

"Since forever!" I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, Evelyn." Olivia rolled her eyes back while Emma bit her nails in anxiousness. "Just get ready!"

I turned my gaze into Emma's direction, she looked nervous and tensed, which made me concerned.
"What's wrong Emma?"

"I forgot my swimming suit!" she squealed, shaking her legs in annoyance.

Me and Olivia rolled our eyes at her. It wasn't the first time for her to forget such important things. We were surely used to it. So I knew Olivia put that into consideration.

"Don't worry, I got you." Olivia grabbed a pair of mint green retro bikini that had white dots on it, then she passed it to Emma.

"Oh my god, you're a life saver!" Emma squeezed her eyes shut as she delightfully hugged the cloth to her chest.

"I'm ready." I said as I zipped my backpack and wore it.

Olivia took a deep breath as she reached to me and put both hands on my shoulder, "Now listen."

"Hmm?" I innocently raised my brow.

She took a glance at Emma, then back at me. "We're only gonna sneak you out to make sure you're safe."

"Awh," I pouted sarcastically, tilting my head.

Olivia's face was serious, she shook her head as she proceeded to continue. "Once we're sure that you're away from the house. We're gonna go to school and take the bus."

"Wait, what about me?"

"You will go on your own." Olivia clarified, "If our principal saw you in school she wouldn't hesitate to call your mother. We need to avoid that."

"Fine," I sighed. "I'll take my bicycle."

"We will meet you at the resort." Olivia said, carrying her backpack and climbing the window. "You got money?"

"Yep. Got it." I nodded as Emma followed Olivia and climbed the window.

They all reached to the ground, but I was still in my bedroom. I glanced at Mikhail's painting and his black cap, I took them and put them in my backpack. I needed something to keep reminding me of him, for my own reassurance.

My heart beat fast as I took a deep breath and waved to Olivia, "Careful!" I threw my backpack and hopefully she managed to safely catch it.

Then I leaped as my feet reached to the ground, causing a spanking noise.

I sighed and glanced them over my shoulder, "Lets do this."

...

Olivia and Emma were riding their bicycles beside me. We reached to the bakery I used to go to. They thought it would be more safer if they left me in a place I already knew, from there, they went to school on their own. I couldn't think of anything else but Mikhail and the good memories we both made at that bakery. Hoping we'd make new ones soon in the future.

If only I find him.

I will. Eventually I will.

I sighed as I got off the bicycle. I entered the bakery and ordered some cheese croissant.

Waiting for it, I stared at the table we used to sit at.

You're as ugly as a Californian condor. He said.

I laughed to myself by the thought of him not meaning to say that the day he asked me to be his fake date.

Even though it haunted me for some days.

Everything he said to me never seemed to escape my memory.

The memory of him haunts me.
The hope to see him again does as well.

I felt my breath tightening, as though someone was violently choking my throat.

I took the bag of cheese croissants and quickly got out. Leaning my head on the wall of the nearest building, I took a deep breath and exhaled it, shutting my eyes close. Feeling every bit of pain rushing through me.

...

.Flashback.

Digging my head through the pillow, I tried to sob as much as I could, to free out all the pain inside of me. But nothing wanted to be let out. I couldn't cry or react. I was going through my depression phase. I couldn't sleep or eat the other night, I was losing interest in everything. I hated that feeling, that feeling which we do call hopelessness. I hated being overwhelmed, bored and irritated. I had no convincing reason to be in that mood. However, it still managed to have control over me. Manipulate me into thinking that the world had nothing good to offer. And that I had no chance in fixing it.

That was the true part, I had nothing to do to fix anything.

I was being controlled by an infuriating feeling and a horrible mother.

Let me do say, a family.

I was controlled by a family who had no caution of what depression is. Thinking it was kind of a childish hormonal mood for me to keep being cheerless, lock myself every now and then and not do a damn anything about it.

"Stop acting depressed, what badly do you have in your life to make you wanna feel that way? You're still a child, you shouldn't feel these things." They said.

Which irritated me more to know that they didn't care much to know what was wrong with me. They didn't help me get out of that feeling. They just let me flow with life and saw what happened.

Sometimes I wished they could free me by themselves from that cage they called protection.

But I guess that's the only thing they thought would help me enjoy life.

What a fucking bullshit.

"You up?" his sound softly buzzed from the bedroom, but this time I was too exhausted to spring up or answer.

"Next time you take a step in, knock on the damn window." I tiredly uttered, not bothering to turn around and look at him.

"Yeah, I always forget to do that." he murmured, as though I could feel him timidly scratching the back of his neck.

That's what he always did when he felt embarrassed, it was cute.

A half smile was unintentionally shown on my face, but I allowed myself not to show that to him.

"Why are you depressed?" he asked in a concerned, yet irritating tone. "I don't like seeing you like that."

I was still half smiling. I couldn't stop myself thinking of the fact that I was missing him so much.

"Where were you all this time?" I turned my back to meet his gaze. It sent shivers down my spine, how beautifully his cheeks blushed from the sunlight and his golden hair that got more soft and sparkly.

He sighed as he sat on bed, next to me. A passionate look of his stared at my pinkish lips, then back at my eyes. "I had work to do, darling. But now I'm here."

I got up and rushed to wrap my arms around him. A slight gasp escaped his lips, causing him to tense. He rested his hand on my head, gently stroking my hair. I closed my eyes as I inhaled the vanilla scent of him. It reassured me, telling me I was back home and safe.

"Now, why are you depressed?" he asked, still stroking my hair and rubbing my back.

"Maybe I did miss you." I mumbled, resting my head on his shoulder.

He chuckled and got up, offering me his hand.

"To where?"

"To free you from that ridiculous place." he smiled, and I took his hand.

...

Wrapping my arms on his waist, a fresh breeze of air brushed my cheeks as it ruffled my long raven hair. We were riding his motorcycle on a highway as fast as we could. I gazed at the beautiful pale tint of orange shade of the clouds that was reflected by the glorious sunset.

I giggled with delight as I spread out my arms and closed my eyes shut.

Freedom surely was devoured by him.

He knew how to be free. It was costless, without the need of someone, without the control of them.

With him, I could be unchained.

Free as a flying bird. Discharged from all the world's cruelty.

"One thing you wish right now?" he asked me, with a quite tone of joviality.

I opened my eyes and tightly gripped on to him, "I wish to never go back home."

...

Now,

Still leaning on that wall, I opened my eyes as I whipped off the tears that dropped down my cheek.

As much as I missed him, I needed to set myself free for a while. Him being around was the only chance for that to happen, but without him, I couldn't let go of myself.

But I have to.

I have to move on and live my life the way it should be, until I find him again.

For my own sake, not his, not theirs, not anyone else's.

I reached for my bike and started riding it.

I decided to not overthink anything today, and live every moment of the trip, the way I should be.

I wore my black sunglasses, headphones and turned on music as I focused on the road while riding my bicycle.

Reaching to the highway, I found my school bus driving in advance of me. I speeded up the pedals to precede them as I took off my headphones.

Riding right next to them, I heard my classmates calling out for me, not being sure if it was actually me or if they was being mistaken.

"Omg, Evelyn!" Emma gasped from the bus's window, "Is that you?!"

I took a glance on her and grinned, finding all the students on the bus staring at me.

"What's is she doing with a bike on a fast highway?" Liam frowned with irritation.

"Didn't she get expelled?!" I heard someone questioning, not sure who.

"Evelyn, you shouldn't ride here like that!" Olivia yelled, while I found professor Ethan silently glaring at me, eyes widened. "It's dangerous!"

I gave no heed to any of them as I preceded with my bike, listening to music.

Ariana Grande never failed to boost my confidence.

...

Lying on the soft blanket at the beach with my book covering my face, I heard Olivia's backpack smacking on the sheet beside me, causing my hair and the book to blow.

I rolled my eyes as I picked up the book and closed it. "Will you have some manners?"

"Why would you ride on the highway without telling me?!" Olivia asked, quite frustrated.

"Well, you said take your bicycle and go by yourself!" I shrugged.

"Not if it seemed that fun!"

"What?"

"I should've been riding with you." she uttered, "You looked so cool to everyone on the bus!"

I raised my eyebrows, surprised. "Thought you all despised me."

"Of course not! It was so badass of you." she smirked. "You should have seen Liam's irritated face when you showed up."

"I actually did." I said, as we both giggled.

Emma then reached to us, sweating as she breathed heavily. She was wearing the mint green Retro bikini that Olivia lent her, while I was wearing a Yale blue one piece.

"The weather is too hot today." Emma complained, grabbing my book and swinging it as a fan.

"Hey!" I snatched the book from her, frowning. "Give me that!"

"I'm going to change. See you in a bit." Olivia said and walked to the changing room.

I then found Liam passing across us, with a curled lip and a hostile glare. He was wearing a white T- shirt and Olive shorts.

Emma took a neutral glance as I curled my lip back at him, wrathfully.

"Lets go swim!" Emma commanded with excitement.

"You know I don't like to swim."

"But I'm not swimming alone!"

"Wait for Olivia then." I looked her through my eyelashes, while taking a bite of cherry.

She scorned and then left to the shore.

I got up and stretched my shoulders. I picked up my headphones and wore it.

The weather was beautiful, and the sunlight was somehow warming and sedative to be underneath. Waves fluttering through the ocean, while the birds winged in enthusiasm.

The day was perfect. It only craved one thing.

Him.

God, Evelyn. Stop.

There's no him, at least not today.

I'll just live the moment.

Dancing with the rhythm of the song, I felt heavy fingers tapping on my shoulders.

I quickly took off my headphones and looked right behind me.

It was professor Ethan, again glaring at me.

"What's up professor!"

"May I ask how you came here today?"

"Easy! By a bicycle." I foolishly grinned.

He shut his eyes and let out a deep breath. "Don't you know how dangerous it is for you to ride on a highway? Don't you know how dangerous for you it is to be here at all?" he took few steps forward.

"Damn why you so aggressive?" I held my hands up and stepped backwards.

"Because if the principal knew that you attended the trip, your mother won't let it pass that easy."

"My mother will know at some point." I shook my head as though it was a no brainer.

I received no answer from him, just a glare while both his hands were behind his back.

"The good thing is that I'm here." I whispered and gently kicked his shoulder in an absurd way. "And I'm having fun."

He sighed and looked away.

"Now smile, won't you?!" I squealed in disappointment.

Frowning at me with confusion, he questioned. "Are you drunk?!"

"No, that's just me being amused. For once." I gave him a half smile and walked away, unbothered.

Wandering the beach as I waited for Olivia, I found Liam advancing to me. I looked away and started to walk back to where I was, not wanting to be disturbed by him. Especially not after the fight I had with Mia about him, in public.

"Ignoring me much? Aren't you?" he blurted, glaring at me with a curled lips.

I stopped my place, rolled my eyes and looked back at him. "It's not that I'm ignoring you. I simply don't consider you existing at all."

"You should consider that on someone else." he took a step closer to me, with a foolish smirk. My blood was boiling in rage, and I felt my heart dropping to my stomach the moment he said that. I gritted my teeth and looked down. He was still smirking as he tilted his head a little and then questioned, "Right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I frowned turning my back on him, I suddenly felt his hands gripping on my wrist. Giving me thoughts of the past. A sickening one.

I pushed him off of me, glaring. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop gripping me like that?"

He took a step back and calmly held his hands up. "I'm just tryna talk."

Yeah. Like I give a shit.

Me and Liam have always been like that. Fighting and not being able to understand each other. Always judging one another. Until I got sick of it, and decided that it was over. But he never wanted it to be over, I wasn't sure why. Maybe it had something to do with him being a possessive piece of shit. Or a dumbass obsessive twit, who thought it would be cool to own someone and finally pretend to be a responsible coward.

Liam is so full of perfections, that's what everybody thinks he is.

That's what I thought he was.

But when I got to be with him. When I got to know him for what he really is,

I found every little thing messed up in him. He was not okay, and he never admitted it.

Although the only thing that proved otherwise to people was the way he looks, the way his family owns a big fortune, the way they think he's a well mannered person who is rich, kind and capable of responsibilities. All of that wasn't one hundred percent true.

And I was the only one who knew the truth of him. Well, me and Camila. Sort of.

"Why would talking to me satisfy you in any way?" I folded my arms and knitted my brows.

He sighed, "Listen, I just want us to be on good terms, you know?"

"Yeah, well. That's not gonna happen." I uttered. then proceeded to walk away.

"Why?" he rushed after me.

I stopped again, turning to him with a glare. "Why? Are you acting innocent or are you just naturally stupid?"

"Look, if this is about Mia, then I'm sorry." he softly said, making me not being able to differentiate between the devil I used to know and the one who's pretending to be a falling angel now. "She shouldn't have said that about you, she had no right to."

I don't know whether to laugh or snort at this.

Is he serious?

Staring at him for some seconds, my small grin turned to huge laughter. I couldn't bear the pain of my stomach as I gripped on to it, still laughing out loud that tears began to drop down my cheek.

Liam frowned in confusion, "What do you think is funny?"

"The whole idea of you sounds funny to me." I said between laughter. Then I stopped to warmly look at him, grinning. "That was the funniest thing I've heard in a while, really. Thank you." I sarcastically patted his shoulder and then finally got to walk away, leaving him confusedly speechless.

...

Hours passed and we were having pretty much fun. We swam a little bit, until Emma decided to be an upsetting figure and annoy us with water, so we stopped. We hiked short trails, then built our tents near the shore. We played board games with our classmates, professor Ethan would defeat us every damn time. We tried knitting, painted some rocks, climbed trees and went kayaking for fishing. I couldn't catch any fishes. Instead, I caught a very muddy pair of old boots that the whole class started to laugh at me. I don't blame them, though. It was kind of stupid.

It was almost midnight, the boys went to the forest and chopped some woods for a bonfire. We all sat together in a circle shape. The day was already tiring that It was hard for me to keep my eyes opened, but I had a lot fun, like a lot. I couldn't believe that my mother would be so cruel not to let me have the enjoyment of experiencing such events.

I know I've missed a lot.

But I'm planning on to never miss any chance of entertainment that I could possibly get, again.

Whether with anyone's help or not.

Wrapping a dark blue blanket around me, I took a wood stick and roasted a s'more.

"So, what are we doing?" a boy from our class asked, grabbing everyone's attention.

"We could narrate some horror stories!" Emma suggested, eagerly wandering anyone's acceptance.

"No, No. Horror stories sound lame." Olivia threw up her hand in arrogance, receiving a disappointed look from Emma. "Lets play truth or dare!"

Yeah, I know where that is going.

It's never good.

"I agree!" Liam anxiously nodded, while everyone else nodded right after him.

I sighed and hoped for the game to end already. Olivia's dares are always disgustingly aggravating, especially on me. I concernedly searched for the professor's figure, finding him inside his tent, reading a book that is called "The Great Beyond".

"Evelyn." Olivia disturbed me. "Your turn."

"Hmm?"

"The bottle landed on you," she said with a wild, sharp stare. "..and Liam."

Out of all the people sitting opposite me and the bottle decided to land on both of us, of course.

"Oh, truth or dare?" I carelessly ask, not looking at him.

"I pick truth." Liam said.

As expected, he's a coward. Why would he let me dare him to do anything?

But then it hit me.

I took a deep breath and looked through the corner of my eye. "Tell us the truth about why I dumbed you."

Suddenly everyone's face was full of confusion and embarrassment. I couldn't tell if it was because of him or me.

"That's absurd. Everybody knows why!" a guy from the opposite side blurted out, irritated.

"Oh yeah?" I raised my eyebrows, "Well why don't you tell me what everybody knows?!"

The guy pursed his lips and sat back in silence, looking down regretfully.

I then glared at Liam, "What about you?" I asked, while everyone was still silent.

"Evelyn..." Olivia whispered, with discomfort.

I ignored her and continued on, "What kind of truth did you tell them, that was the reason for everyone pitying and believing you, but not me?"

He didn't say anything for some seconds, but then I found him opening his mouth, and closing it once again.

"I only told them the truth-" he stuttered, going white as a ghost.

"Which is?"

"That you cheated on me."

A sudden shiver of disgust ran down my spine, making me unable to catch my breath.

I blankly glared at him, while everyone looked down in nervousness.

"That's what you told them?" I tilted my head, shocked of what a wimpy liar could do to trick a bunch of people that easily. "And you all simply believed him?"

"Evelyn...look-" Olivia uttered, playing with her fingers.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I asked with quite disappointment.

She never gave me an answer, she just looked away as well as Emma did.

"You believed him too, didn't you?" I bit the bottom of my lip, as it hardly trembled. I then looked up at the sky and laughed a bit while rubbing my forehead. "I mean how couldn't you? Right? He's the popular cute guy who would never lie or do harm to anyone. And I'm always the bitch who hurts people's feelings."

Getting up from my place, Olivia grabbed my hand and slowly shook her head with little tears welling up her eyes, "I only believed what made sense-"

"You only believed what was suitable for you to gossip about. You're just like everyone else." I forced her to let go of my hand and then I headed to my tent.

After many hours of sobbing and feeling sorrowful in the darkness, everyone was already fallen asleep in their tents. Whipping off the tears on my cheeks, I heard a familiar voice that caused my heart to almost bump out of it's ribcage. My eyes widened from how frightened that tone got me. I payed no heed and just covered myself up and tried to relax my brain.

"Eve." the voice again echoed.

I quickly unzipped the tent and got out of it, terrified to my bones.

My vision was blurry, I rubbed my eyes severally to let my vision adapt to the light of fire.

And then I saw his figure. The figure that I realized was never separated from my mind.

"Mikhail?"

_______

[Epiphany] (n.): a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or suddenly become conscious of something very important to you.

...

Yay, he's finally here everyone! :) Or is he not?

I think this chapter was full of unexplainable emotions, but everything is going to be explained soon. Don't worry.

Don't forget to vote and comment! Love y'all <3

, Jude.