Chapter 5-Avoiding love (When he sees me-Waitress)
As soon as he heard Logan's name instead of his, Virgil felt his heart drop and shatter into a million pieces. He mentally scolded himself for giving himself false hope. How could someone ever love him? He wasn't as good as Logan anyway. He wasn't as good as anyone. He wasn't worthy of anyone's love, let alone his favourite person in the world's.
If they were in Thomas's house, he would have run off into his room and cried all his sorrows away but now, he was stuck in the middle of the woods with now escape. He just had to fight back the tears and keep trudging on through the heart break. He had to hide his true emotions and pretend everything was to e when it wasn't, just like usual.
Patton noticed Virgil's sudden drop in mood and grew generally concerned for his best friend. "Virgil, is everything ok? What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing Patton. I'm perfectly peachy thank you" Virgil replied sarcastically.
Frowning, Patton took both of Virgil's hands in his own and gazed into his eyes. "Please Virgil, I can tell there's something wrong. Please just tell me and I might be able to help you"
"How on earth can you help me if you're the one who caused this huh?!?" Virgil snapped, heart ache turning into anger, anger for both himself and for Patton. Patton seemed extremely confused but before he could ask any questions, Virgil jerked his hands away. "Just go away! I don't want to look at your stupid face any more!" As Virgil hurled this insult at Patton, tears threatened to spill down his face but Patton just wiped them away when they did.
"Fine! I can tell when I'm not wanted. I'll just go and talk to Logan or something, confess my feelings or whatever. I'll leave you alone to calm down a bit"
"Patton wait! I'm sorry! I just-" But before Virgil could appologise, Patton had already run off. "Great. Now I'll never have a chance with Patton. Why do I have to screw everything up?"
Meanwhile
Patton had run up behind Roman and Logan and was just about to talk to Logan when he heard Roman start to talk. Not wanting to be rude and interupt them, Patton decided to just walk behind them and wait until their conversation was over before he said anything.
"So Lo, have you ever considered getting a boyfriend?" Roman asked.
"That is a rather random question Roman" Logan stated, avoiding the question.
"Yeah I know but I've just been thinking lately, since Thomas hasn't been in a relationship for a while, I thought it might be a good idea to try and set one of you guys up. So, have you ever considered getting a boyfriend?" Although what Roman said was partly true, the real reason Roman asked the question was because he had a crush on Logan, although it wasn't as big as Virgil's crush on Patton. However, Logan seemed very reserved and he wasn't even sure if Logan even wanted love. He had to find out first and then swoop in to take Logan off of his feet and win his love.
"Well yes I have considered it but I don't think that love is really my strong point"
"What do you mean?" Roman asked.
"I stick with real things, usually facts and figures.
When information's in its place I minimise the guessing game" Logan began to sing and he had a surprisingly beautiful voice. For one he was actually singing and it wasn't about Crofters.
"Guess what?"
"What?" Roman asked.
"I don't like guessing games
Or when I feel things before I know the feelings.
How am I supposed to operate if I'm just tossed around by fate?
Like on an unexpected date.
With a stranger who might talk too fast
Or ask me questions about myself before I've decided that he can ask me questions about myself.
He might sit too close
Or call the waiter by his first name
Or eat Oreos but eat the cookie before the cream.
But what scares me the most, what scares me the most
Is what if when he sees me,
What if he doesn't like it?
What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it?
What happens then?
If when he knows me, he's only dissapointed?
What if I give myself away to only get it given back?
I couldn't live with that.
So I'm just fine inside my shell-shaped mind,
This way I get the best view.
So that when he sees me,
I want him to"
"Lo, don't you think you're being a little, I mean maybe just a tad-" Roman started before Logan interrupted him.
"I'M NOT DEFENSIVE!!!!" Logan yelled in Roman's face before taking a deep breath in and calming himself down.
"Sorry about that Roman but
I'm simply being cautious.
I can't risk reckless dating due to my miscalculating.
Why, a certain suitor stands in line.
I've seen in movies, most made for television, you cannot be too careful when it comes to sharing your life.
I could end up with miserable strife" Realising that he was over reacting a bit and getting a bit too worked up, Logan decided to appologise.
"Sorry Ro but he could be criminal,
Some sort of physcopath who escaped from an institution somewhere where they don't have guys.
He could have masterminded some way to find me.
He could be colourblind.
How untrustworthy is that?
He could be less than kind.
Or even worse he could be very nice,
Have lovely eyes,
And make me laugh,
Come out of hiding.
What do I do with that?
Oh geez.
What if when he sees me, I like him and he knows it?
What if he opens up a door and I can't close it?
What happens then?
If when he holds me, my heart is set in motion?
I'm not prepared for that, I'm scared of breaking open.
But still I can't help from hoping to find someone to talk to.
Who likes the way I am.
Someone who when he sees me,
Wants to again"
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