I experienced a gamut of emotions upon seeing Chaucer, but in the end irritation won out.

"Chaucer! Shut up!"

There's only so many times I can hear the same phrase over and over again. Any phrase. It could be "Congratulations, you've won a million dollars," but if someone was repeating it to me ad nauseam, it would work on my last nerve quickly.

I didn't know who this Witch of the Misty Woods was, and quite frankly, I didn't care. All I really wanted was a good cup of coffee and for someone, anyone, to tell me what in the hell was going on.

Chaucer wasn't going to be forthcoming with any further information on that front, but he did at least listen to me. He let out a final squawk and then stopped talking. A moment later, he flew down and alighted on my shoulder. It felt good to have his reassuring weight there. I'd missed him, but I'd been far too distraught to get another parrot. The sight of his colorful feathers flying out of the alligator's mouth accompanied by a sickening crunching sound still haunted my dreams.

I really needed to think and process things, but my mind insisted on trying to figure out the perfect opening sentence for my novel.

"Beware the twitch of a tired wrist," I said aloud. Hmm. Maybe?

My thoughts were interrupted by a blur of motion and a sudden thumping sound as something fell out of the tree. I went to investigate and found a white rectangular box on the ground. I picked it up to take a closer look. There was an image of a black rectangle on the top. On the sides were a silhouette of an apple and the word "iPhone."

"What the devil is an i-Phone?" I said. I had never heard of such a thing.

"Eye-foam," Chaucer squawked.

"Is this thing supposed to be some sort of telephone? Admittedly I could use one right about now. Maybe I can get a hold of somebody somewhere."

I considered the possibility that the box itself was a phone, but then I figured out it must be whatever was inside of it. I opened the package to reveal a thin plastic slab with a dark screen on it. There were buttons on the side, but when I pushed them nothing happened. There were also a couple circles on the back side of it near one edge, but I couldn't figure out what those were supposed to be for either.

I couldn't make heads nor tails of this thing. What kind of phone didn't have numbered buttons to dial? Or for that matter a cord to attach to the wall? Apparently this was somebody's idea of a joke, and I didn't care for it one bit. Dismissing it as useless junk, I tossed it over my shoulder and went in search of a good reliable pay phone.

I saw some other strange things as I hopped back on my bicycle and began to ride down the sidewalk. I had to steer around an old rusty cannon that I could swear hadn't been there when I had ridden this way yesterday. I also saw a spinning wheel, a blacksmith's anvil, a harpsichord, and several sleek looking machines that I didn't recognize at all. These objects were just scattered about without any rhyme or reason. Despite all of this I didn't see another living creature anywhere. Except Chaucer, who dutifully rode on my shoulder.

There had to be a logical explanation for this, right? Or had I, at long last, gone totally and completely mad? Maybe I was still sound asleep in my bed and this was some sort of incredibly vivid dream?

"The sun beat down and the ice cream knew it was not long for this world," I said aloud.

Okay, I was still thinking about my novel. Hmm... Maybe the person holding the ice cream cone vanished suddenly into thin air along with everyone else and that's what caused the scoop to fall to the hot sidewalk, whereupon it began the slow and inevitable process of melting into nothingness?

No, that wouldn't do. I intended to keep the focus of the narrative entirely on the melting ice cream, and if I introduced it that way my readers would be spending the whole book wondering what caused all the people to vanish and that would only distract from the deep and meaningful insights on the human condition that I meant to impart.

I was wondering myself where everyone was and that was distracting me from thinking about my novel just as much as thinking about my novel was distracting me from wondering where everyone was. My mind was in a whirl and I couldn't seem to focus on anything and so I was getting nowhere.

I also was literally getting nowhere as I turned around the corner and saw the unmistakable familiar oak tree with the word "CROATOAN" carved into it. Was I stuck in some kind of spatial-temporal loop? Or more likely, I had just managed to ride around the block while my thoughts were elsewhere.

I still hadn't found a pay phone during the course of my wanderings and all of the businesses were completely boarded up, so it wasn't like I could go inside one and ask someone to use their phone.

There was a telephone back at the rental house, so in the absence of any better ideas, I decided to head back there. I was about halfway home when I heard the sound of a car engine getting louder.

Someone was coming.