chapter twenty-eight

─── i definitely committed a felony

          𝔗here are times in life, where you wake up in the morning and realise that every decision you've ever made in your life is completely, and utterly wrong. I would tell you that I was having one of those type of months, if not years, but I actually couldn't remember that, so we'll assume that I've made poor life choices and go from there.

On top of my current existential life crisis, two crazy ladies were trying to get me sent to some federal lock-up on the case of serial murder, because I kept trying to kill them and they just weren't dying.

And let me tell you, I got creative with their murders, and nothing was doing it. 

I'd dropped bowling balls on them, ran them over with a police car (which stealing it was probably also a felony, but it's quite low on the list at the moment), decapitated them, drowned them, thrown them out of windows, shot them, thrown them in concrete and whilst they looked worse for wear, they weren't dead.

Suggestions on how to get rid of them are desperately needed and wholly appreciated because I am running out of imagination and patience.

I'd hardly slept since this entire ordeal started and I was beginning to run out of stamina too. I'd eaten stale gummy bears that were three years out of date, a bagel that I probably shouldn't have and something else that I hadn't been able to see because it was too dark and I could have only prayed there was no mould on there.

Every day I prayed to the gods for a strong digestive system.

My clothes looked like they'd been through the shredder to the point where I was actually starting to get worried that I could get arrested for public indecency, and my hair was a mess of tangles, tied up behind me so that I could ignore it.

The only reason I, myself, had not become a headstone wasn't because I had good karma, because trying to kill those ladies in various ways that violated the Geneva Convention had ruined my karma, but was actually because they couldn't kill me. Their claws didn't cut my skin, their teeth broke when they tried to bite me and my head was hard enough to break glass.

That had been a fun little experiment, let me tell you.

I stopped running, panting like a dog, as I looked around for someplace for me to crash in exhaustion. To the left of me were rolling golden hills, lakes scattered amongst them. It looked like something out of a movie. To the right, the flatlands of Berkeley and Oakland, a vast chequerboard of neighbourhoods full of people not so worried about being mown down by a stray crazy lady (they called themselves gorgons).

Further west, San Francisco Bay glittered under a silvery haze. Past that, a wall of fog had swallowed most of San Francisco, leaving just the tops of skyscrapers and the towers of the Golden Gate Bridge.

I paused, scratching my head. San Francisco reminded me of something. Of a girl with dark braids, a big smile, both of us lounging around on a sofa laughing as we watched a film. She was connected to me, but I didn't know how. 

The only person that I could remember truly, the only one who I had a name to put to my memories was my mom. Sally.

I knew her name was Sally.

I say remembered, but I mean that in the loosest way possible. I could remember her laugh, I could remember being small and sitting in her lap when she braided my hair, I could remember playing at the park, eating blue food, how I thought she was the most beautiful woman alive and how all I had really wanted to do for the past few months was hug her.

The wolf that had trained me, promised that I would see her again and regain my memory if I succeeded in my journey, which was providing me with some optimism. 

I stopped thinking on my mom, turning back to look at the horizon. The bay was tempting me, the power of the ocean calling out to me. I had found out, through trial and error, that water revived me, especially salt water. It had made me very hard to drown, which was a little traumatic if I was being quite honest.

The idea of making my last stand by the water and getting rid the gorgons there was sounding very good. However, it was two miles away and would mean running, so I was going to say no. I hesitated for another reason. The wolf, Lupa, had taught me to sharpen my senses and trust my instincts that had been guiding me south.

My spidey senses were tingling. 

The end of my journey was close, like right under my feet type close. But I wasn't sure how that was possible, considering I was on a hill. A very solid hill.

The wind changed and I caught a familiar scent. Reptiles. They stank.

A hundred yards down the slope, something rustled through the woods – snapping branches, crunching leaves, hissing and I tried to find a sharp object to throw myself on. The gorgons had incredibly good noses, somehow smelling me even when I threw myself into various disgusting and questionable things, and crossed water.

I cursed, scrambling to the west side of the summit, which was unfortunately too steep to descend. The slope plummeted eighty feet, hit an apartment roof, plummeted fifty feet and then hit a highway. If my maths skills were decent, that meant I'd be quadruple dead.

I didn't really want to do that.

I scratched my head, watching the stream of cars, before watching them disappear beneath my feet. My eyes widened. If there were cars in the hill, there was a tunnel. If there was a tunnel, then I was in the right place.

I needed to get down to that highway.

Yanking my backpack off, I looked through it to try and see if there was anything useful in there. I had a portable GPS, duct tape, lighter, superglue, water bottle, camping roll, a pillow pet to get me through my nightmares and a Swiss army knife. All useful things that had saved my life, but none were going to help me throw myself off a cliff.

I had one other option; stand and fight. I cried internally again, pulling my pen from my pocket. Now, it didn't look like much, but when you pulled the lid off of it, it grew into a glowing bronze sword. The blade was perfectly balanced, the leather grip fitted to my hands and Ancient Greek etched along the guard, spelling Riptide. I loved it.

It had been with me since I woke up at the Wolf House close to two months ago (but I didn't truly trust my ability to tell time so it might have been more). I had found myself in the middle of the woods, wearing jeans, an orange T-shirt, a jacket, a ring and a leather necklace with a bunch of strange clay beads. Riptide had been in my hands, but I didn't know how or why it was. 

Then the wolves had come.

Right next to me, a familiar voice jolted me back to the present: "There you are!"

I almost fell off the cliff in surprise.

It was the smiley one – Beano. At least I think that's what her name was, her writing was like a spider had dipped it's leg in ink and wandered across a page. I had no clue if I was being honest. She was still wearing her green Bargain Mart employee vest over a flower-print dress. 

You might have thought that she was someone's grandma, that was until you saw her rooster feet or the boar tusk sticking out the corner of her mouth or the fact that her eyes were red or the fact that her hair was...you get the idea.

The worst thing was, she was still holding her big platter of free samples. No matter how many times I whacked her with it over the head, Beano kept bringing it with her. 

"Have one, dearie." Beano offered.

"Where's the other one?" I asked, batting her away with my sword. 

"Put that sword away now." Beano chided and a snake hissed, causing me to shiver. I'd also discovered that I hated snakes. "You know by now that even Celestial Bronze can't kill us for long. Have a bite to eat, dearie. They're on sale this week and I'd hate to kill you on an empty stomach.

"Stheno!" The second gorgon appeared on my right as I had another heart attack. "I told you to sneak up on her and kill her!"

Beano's smile wavered. "But, Euryale...can't I give her a sample first? She should eat.."

It's true, I hadn't exactly had a regular eating schedule with the wolves and I needed to eat more than I had been surviving on.

"No, you imbecile!" Euryale turned towards me and bared her fangs. 

I, again, contemplated throwing myself off of the cliff. 

"You've led us on quite a chase, Andromeda Jackson," Euryale said. "But now you're trapped, and we'll have our revenge!"

"Just a little bite, dear."

Euryale snarled. 'Stheno, put down that ridiculous tray and help me kill this demigod. Or have you forgotten that she's the one who vaporized Medusa?"

"Look, ladies, please." I pulled a face. "We've been over this. I don't remember anything like that and despite popular opinion, I'm not that violent."

All three of us pulled a face of disbelief at that, myself included, which wasn't exactly confidence inspiring.

"Can't we just call a truce and leave it at that?" I offered.

Stheno gave her sister a pouty look, which was hard to do with giant bronze tusks. "Can we?"

"No!" Euryale's red eyes bored into mine. "I don't care what you remember, daughter of the sea. I can smell Medusa's blood on you. It's faint, yes, several years old, but you were the last one to defeat her. She still has not returned from Tartarus. It's your fault!"

I hated everything about my day.

"How about we call it a draw?" I offered weakly. "I can't kill you. You can't kill me. It's a lose-lose either way."

"Andromeda Jackson, it's true you bear the mark of Achilles. That makes you a little tougher to kill. But don't worry. We'll find a way."

"What?" They must be on meth or something, cause this was getting a little ridiculous now.

"Achilles," Stheno said cheerfully. "Oh, he was gorgeous! Dipped in the River Styx as a child, you know, so he was invulnerable except for a tiny spot on his ankle. That's what happened to you, dear. Someone must've dumped you in the Styx and made your skin like iron. But not to worry. Heroes like you always have a weak spot. We just have to find it, and then we can kill you. Won't that be lovely?"

Again, I would like to confirm that I know absolutely nothing but it did explain somethings. It also put some bad ideas in my head like what would happen if I, you know, threw myself off of the cliff?

I didn't truly want to risk it. Not without something to slide...I caught sight of Beano's silver platter of free samples. Now, here was a good plan. A very good plan.

"Reconsidering?" Beano asked. "Very wise, dear. I added some gorgon's blood to these, so your death will be quick and painless."

I choked at the thought of it. I was pretty sure that doing that broke about three hundred food and hygiene rules.

Beano smiled. "A tiny nick on my arm was all it took. Blood from our right side can cure anything, you know, but blood from our left side is deadly–"

"You fool!" Euryale screeched. "You're not supposed to tell her that! She won't eat that if you tell her they're poisoned!"

I wasn't going to either way, but good on her for having optimism.

Beano looked stunned, the snakes in her hair curling as I shuddered. "She won't? But I said it  would be quick and painless."

"Never mind!" Euryale's fingernails grew into claws. "We'll kill her the hard way–just keep slashing until we find the weak spot. Once we defeat Andromeda Jackson, we'll be more famous than Medusa! Our patron will reward us greatly!"

I gripped Riptide tightly. I needed to get this perfectly so I needed to keep them talking. Luckily for me, that seemed to be a speciality of mine.

"So, before you shred me," I said, "who's this patron you mentioned? Just out of curiosity?"

"Why would we tell you?" Euryale sneered. "You won't live long enough to meet her, but all your friends will face her wrath. Her armies are marching south as we speak. At the Feast of Fortune, she'll awaken, and the demigods will be cut down in droves."

Euryale turned for a split moment, a look of triumph on her face at the thought of us dying. I took the opening, grabbing Beano's platter, flinging the poisoned snacks and slashing Riptide across Euryale's waist. 

I raised the platter, showing it to Beano, who screamed, "Medusa!"

Her sister Euryale had crumbled to dust, but she was already starting to re-form, like a snowman un-melting. 

"Stheno, you fool!" she gurgled as her half-made face rose from the mound of dust. "That's just your own reflection! Get her!"

I was not going to have any of that, slamming the tray onto Beano's head, grinning as she passed out cold. I then put the platter behind my butt, said a silent prayer to whoever the god was for idiotic ideas and cliff-sledding and flung myself off the side of the hill.

All in all, a very well executed plan.

∘☽༓☾∘

Hiya,

guess who's backkkk? she's hereeee - that's right, andi's back and we're going into her pov. So, she doesn't remember Luke, but she does remember her mum because that is the person she cares about most and above all else (even Luke) but don't worry, all isn't lost.

Let me know what you think,

Love Li xx