chapter twenty-five

─── finally, i graduate from memory loss school

          𝕾leet was bouncing off the window of the cabin, warmth filling me as I rolled over in my bed. I was comfortable, everything was peaceful and I felt content. If this was what the Underworld was then this wasn't so bad. There was a harsh knock on my door as I paused. What was going on?

My body moved before I could process, standing up and finding a hoodie to pull on over my pyjamas. I had thought when you died that you remained in the clothes you'd died in, but it was my first time dying so what did I know. Opening the door, I came face to face with the other girl from my dreams, Reyna. She wasn't dead, at least I hoped not.

"Sorry, I know we just went to bed." Reyna shook her head, yawning. She was leaning against my door, like she'd done every day since I'd been made prae-my memories. 

I could remember. I could remember her, I could remember this, I could remember my home. I knew where I was.

I wanted to turn, to shout, to scream, to hug Reyna, because I was home, but my body was moving, my mouth forming words as if my consciousness was a backseat passenger. I didn't care if I was dead, if I was having to see my memories before I died, I was just glad to see them, glad to know what had happened in my life.

"I was still awake. Don't sweat it." I waved her off, brushing my hair out of my face. "What's up?"

"Octavian's still in the temple. Just saw the lightning flash." I seemed to sigh, and I knew that this was a common occurrence for him to be up there and for me to be not there with him. "We should have swapped rooms. You should have had the one that looks at the temple and I should have had a full night's sleep."

"Ha ha." I was pulling beat up trainers on, nudging her as I went past. "Your own fault."

"I know." She laughed, braiding her dark hair. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Reyna." I waved back at her, before pulling my hood up and grabbing my coat from my desk. I knew it was mine now, knew that it had Cressida Grace on the front, Praetor. I'd only just gotten that nameplate. Opening the door, I tried to look around, but past me was on a mission and I kept my head down, closing the door behind me as I rushed past buildings that looked like cabins, before heading up a large hill. 

The path was well worn, and I seemed to know where I was going.

I passed more buildings, before arriving at a huge temple, that was far more imposing than anything I'd seen before. It was large, and marble, and it was the place that I'd appeared to speak to Octavian at when the others had fought the cyclops.

I entered it quickly, shrugging my windbreaker up, placing it beside another larger one, and trudging into the main hall. Above me was a large statue, of what I assumed was my father, glaring down at me, lightning bolt posed to strike. It was intimidating and I knew that I had always found it a bit off putting, just like the one at Cabin One.

"Dad." I seemed to mutter with a small salute before looking down towards the raised dais. Octavian was at the top, a pile of toys and stuffing on either side of it, as he seemed to sift through it all, trying to find something to read. He was a bit smaller than he'd been in my dream, his hair cut a little shorter. The teenager was only dressed in a short sleeved shirt and jogging bottoms, and past me seemed to know that meant he was about to go to bed but the voices (whatever that was) had woken him up again and called him to return to looking through the toys.

There was something going on tomorrow, something that was still blurry in my mind. It was at a mountain, legions were going with us and all I knew was that we needed to go to bed to be well rested. I knew that past me had been scared, terrified that I would lose some of my oldest friends and I knew that I was seventeen, that I was still young.

"Tav." The teenager froze, putting his dagger down and twisting to look at me. His face was a bit fuller and less pale than the dream, but there were still deep bags beneath his eyes. "What are you still doing up?"

"I had some stuff to finish." Octavian sighed, before stepping away as I approached. "Anything that I can see or hear, anything at all and it could help us tomorrow, make sure that we have the upper hand. Why are you up?"

"Reyna's orders are to drag you to bed." I was stepping over words that looked suspiciously like the prophecy of the nine, before jogging up the steps so that I could draw closer to the taller man. "Haven't seen you all day either."

I reached my arms up, giving him a hug as he relaxed into the gesture, his chin hitting the top of my head as he rocked me.

"How are the voices?"

"Shouting. Clamouring over each other." He huffed, before relaxing. I reached my hand up, pressing it to his head as he let his eyes flutter shut. "They keep trying to tell me things and then they don't and it's all-"

"I get it, Tav." I pulled away, before tracing the shape of his jaw. "But you're not going to be able to do much on no sleep. Come on. Let's go to bed."

"Goldie, I can't." 

"You can." I nodded. "Praetor's orders."

"You're really pulling the rank card right now?" Octavian pulled a face as I grinned, grabbing his hand as I began to walk towards the door. "That's mature, Goldie."

"I am a very mature Praetor, just like you're going to be a very well rested Augur." He rolled his eyes at that, the start of a grin appearing on his face as I shrugged my coat on. He did the same, putting his glasses on and grabbing his notes. "At least you don't argue with me over this anymore. You and I used to always argue over your sleep."

"13 year old me was a prick." Octavian muttered, hand around my shoulder as I hummed in agreement, "and 12 year old you was a stalker."

"I wasn't."

"You followed me around for two years."

"Yeah, because I thought you were cool and you refused to speak to me." I pointed out, as he laughed. We stepped out into the rain, trudging down the hill once more. I still couldn't work out where we were. "Luckily, you saw the errors of your ways."

"You wore me down."

"Charming, you are." He grinned again, as I leant into his side. "We've got branding day soon. You excited?"

"No." Octavian shook his head. "Me, a branding iron and hundreds of teenagers to brand in one day, I'm ecstatic."

We fell into silence, walking slowly as I took in the smell of damp grass and what I thought was sea.

"Where are you tonight, barracks?" I turned to him as we drew closer to the long, winding buildings. 

"Yeah, have to be." We stopped at one of them, with him leaning in the door and me staring up at him. "I've got to be up with the first cohort for tomorrow morning, get them all ready to go. Think it looks sort of like nepotism if I come out of the Praetor's dorm in the morning."

"All night battle planning?"

"Reyna loves her sleep too much for that to be a thing." Octavian shook his head. "You gonna be alright on your own, Goldie?"

"Always am. You're gonna go to sleep, right?" He nodded as I grinned. "Good. Rest."

"Vaguely threatening." I rolled my eyes before leaning up to wrap my arms around his neck. "I'll go to sleep, you should too."

"I will. Kiss?" He hummed, leaning down to kiss me and I felt myself melt into the feeling. It was so familiar, so right, to have his lips on mine and his hands on my waist. Octavian pulled back first, as I seemed to chase him for another. "I love you."

"I love you too, Goldie. Good night." I seemed to back away, walking back to my own cabin. Every so often, I would look over my shoulder and Octavian would still be waiting at the door for me to get into my own cabin as a giddy feeling welled upside me. I loved him and he loved me, and he had been looking for me. 

Someone was out there looking for me and Hera had taken me from him. Hera had taken me from my family.

I missed my home. I missed my cohort and my legion, I missed my family, my unit, my brothers and sisters in everything but blood. I missed the river, I missed the city, the shops, the games, the walk up to the temples, the celebrations and birthdays that we'd laughed and cheered our ways through. I missed being on the bank in the middle of the summer, just before the sun dipped into the sky, cooking on a fire and listening to music. 

It was all coming back to me.

I missed Felix, who'd looked after me since I was four years old and had just shown up there, I missed being able to call him for advice, getting letters from him about what he was doing and where he'd travelled to in the years since he'd left. I missed Dakota and Gwen, my seconds in the cohort. We'd spent so much time together, planning and training, making sure our cohort was better than all the others, even if we were the fifth legion. Dakota and I had known each other since we were barely six years old, Felix having been both of our sponsors, and he was like my twin in everything apart from blood. 

I missed the competition and rivalry we had with Octavian and Michael's legion that they were the leaders of. Michael and I used to regularly team up to annoy Octavian, he'd been my sparring buddy for the longest time since he'd turned up. I missed Reyna, who'd not been quite sure what to make of me when she'd first arrived, but was my partner in crime, both of us having been put in to a position of responsibility when we were still young. We'd pierced our ears together in the bathroom, spent months throwing things at each other across the senate and running from trouble where we could.

Most of all, I missed Octavian. I missed spending my evenings in the temple, basking in the sun as he read through a toy's innards. I missed training with him, date nights in the city, early morning runs, him watching me train and studying together when we both had tests coming up. I missed him. 

I could remember him giving me the bird toy, him having sewn it up soon after he became Augur, an apology for being rude to me and brushing me off for years, a symbol that he'd never do it again, that he'd always be on my side. A symbol that had been shredded by a giant.

Hera had taken me away from all of them, stealing me from my friends and still, she wouldn't tell me the location of them even if I had died. Still, she hid them and hatred bubbled in me at that. I was a kid, I was a kid and I wanted to go home.

"-ssida..." Someone was calling me. No, Piper was calling me and I turned to look for her, seeing a hand reaching out for me. I paused, twisting back to my memories. My friends were sitting around a campfire, laughing at something, drinking soda and chewing on food. Octavian turned, finding me and he smiled. 

I didn't want to leave him, but he nodded.

"Wake up."

I gasped, air clawing into my lungs as my eyes flew open. I was looking at the stars. Coughing, I pushed myself up, turning over as my pain came back to me, a migraine pounding in my head as my memories came back to me in waves.

I knew who I was now.

"What-What happened?" I spluttered out, as Piper dove onto me, Leo falling onto me too.

"Impossible!" I groaned as the pair clung to me. My ribs and back were painful.

"Crushing me." I patted both of them, until they pulled back, both of them brushing tears away. Thalia was crouching beside me, clinging to my hand.

"How'd you feel?" She checked as I spat to the side, brushing at my mouth.

"Shit. Hot." I muttered. "Mouth is like a desert. I saw something really terrible, thought I was dead."

"That was Her Majesty, the loose cannon's fault." Thalia snapped as I rubbed my head.

"Thalia Grace, final warning." The goddess warned. "So help me-"

"Stop it, you two, please." Piper pleaded, as both of them paused. Leo helped haul me upright, water bottle in hand for me to chug as Piper found the last of the nectar from our supplies. "Your Majesty, we couldn't have rescued you without the Hunters and Thalia, you would have never known that Cress was alive, we would have never met her if it weren't for Queen Hera. We've got bigger problems."

"You've got spirit, Piper." Thalia stopped glaring to hand a silver card to Piper. "You ever want to be a Hunter, call me. We could use you. Same goes for you, Cressida."

"I can't." I shook my head as Hera turned to Piper. I squeezed Thalia's hand.

"You've got your memories back, haven't you?" Thalia recognised the look on my face, and maybe something in my eyes had changed, because part of me felt like I had. I wasn't the Cressida that woke up on the bus anymore. I knew who I was now.

"Most of them." I agreed, rubbing my head. "Thanks for the offer though, feel like it might be slight nepotism for me to get into the Hunters if my big sister leads it."

"And you've got other people to go back to?" Thalia guessed, a pained look appearing on her face. I nodded slowly. "At least I know where you are this time around. I've missed having a little sister."

"You had Annabeth." I pointed out as Thalia sighed. Her hand squeezed mine, watching me painfully. 

"You didn't have me though. An older sister." Thalia shook her head. "I'm sorry, for not searching harder, for not trying to find you. I hope now that we can mend whatever our relationship is or was, I want my younger sister back."

"I-" I stopped for a moment, thinking of how I phrased the next bit of my sentence. "I don't think we'll be sisters again, maybe by blood, but you have a different family now and I don't want to replace Annabeth. I've got my own family too, even if they don't know where I am, they're still my family. We need time to mend our relationship, because in reality, you're a stranger to me."

"I know." Thalia patted my shoulder, before reaching to my face. I allowed her this, our foreheads knocking together as she ran her fingers through my hair. "You need anything, Cressida, I will help, no matter where or what I'm doing. I love you."

I hummed in agreement. I knew now that I never gave out my love that freely, normally taking me a couple of months, if not a year to warm up to people enough to say it and I never said it in a joking manner. 

"I need to find Annabeth." Thalia pulled back, turning from me so that I couldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. I turned back to my friends, looking at their grim expression and knowing that this was only the start. Porphyrion wasn't dead, he was still out there somewhere, just not with us. "She has to know what's happened here. Luke too. I'll rendezvous with you back at Camp Half-Blood. You'll see them there safely? It's the least you can do."

Hera huffed, narrowing her eyes at Thalia, before shaking her head.

"Cressida is my champion, mine to protect as I always have done. Of course she and her friends will have safe passage." I appreciated the gesture, even if I was still annoyed that she had stolen my memories. The Hunters said their goodbyes, disappearing in an instance, leaving the courtyard strangely quiet.

There was nearly no sign of the battle that had just taken place her, the wind snaking through the giant trees and everything going still once more.

"Cress, what happened to you here?" Piper placed a hand on my shoulder as I looked around. "I know that this was where your mom abandoned you but you said it was sacred ground. Why? What happened after you were on your own?"

"They teach you to leave humanity behind, to be more animal." I looked around, remembering places where I'd fought or played. "Weakness is frowned upon. Duty, honour and loyalty is valued above all else. The wolves..."

"You were given a destiny." Hera agreed. "You were given into my service."

"Because Jupiter broke the image of the perfect godly family twice." I agreed. Hera's method of trying to have a family were unconventional and downright destructive to my own family, but in her eyes, this was her trying to bring her family back together. I was not Beryl Grace's daughter anymore, instead I was gifted to her before I could remember who my mother was. In all aspects, my mother was Juno, but the price had been steep. 

"You were destined for a far worse path if you stayed, I did you a favour." Hera watched me, as I turned. "You remember who you are now."

"Parts of it, you are still holding the other bits of it. I assume that includes where they are, where my home is. You don't want me going back." Hera's eyes softened, before I turned away from her. "Roman demigods are left here, Piper. Like me. We're left here by our parents as children, surrendered to the goddess, Lupa. If you are strong, you live. If you're weak, you die and the next demigod has to dig your grave and bury you. I'm not like you guys. Not like Camp Half-Blood, none of that."

Leo and Piper looked horrified.

"You were three..." Piper trailed off as I turned back around, before scratching at my hair. "Cress-"

"I'd have appreciated if you left the memories of my powers injuring me." I turned to Hera, scowling as she shook her head.

"If I'd have done that, you would have known where you had been. I didn't expect them to be so stubborn in finding you, that they managed to break past my spell." The blood ritual that Octavian had done. He'd almost killed himself to free me from a goddess. "He meddled with the plan. It's part of your destiny now. You will find your own way back and when you do, you will unite two great powers. You will give us hope against the giants and the greater evil that is helping them. They cannot work like that on their own."

"Gods..." I rolled my eyes. I was used to their cryptic messages, I could remember that too. I also remembered that I hated them.

"You have done well." Hera placed a hand on my shoulder, her finger touching my cheek as I watched her. "This is only the beginning Cressida. You must return to Camp Half-Blood, to plan the next phase."

"Which you're not going to tell us about." I rolled my eyes again. "And I supposed you vapourised my temperamental spirit horse so we're going to walk home."

"There is an easier way home." Hera waved her hands. "You have done me a great service, and I can't have you remaining here. Farewell, demigods, for now."

The world turned upside down and I almost blacked out. When I could see again, we were back at camp, in the dining pavilion, in the middle of dinner. We were standing on Aphrodite cabin's dinner table and Piper had her foot in someone's food.

"Oops?"

Sixty campers rose at once, jaws dropped, watching us in shock. Piper and Leo both looked pale, but I took a deep breath and pushed through. Weakness was never tolerated, and I wouldn't be weak.

"Cressida?" Chiron looked shocked. "What-How-?"

"Hi..." Piper trailed off, shrugging awkwardly. "We're back?"

∘☽༓☾∘

Hiya,

So I really wanted this out today, because it's memory time and we get to see more of Cress and Tav and their friends and all of the people in Camp Jupiter, and what they spend their time doing. We also are going to start to see Cress' actual personality, because she's a lot colder and harsher than she is without her memory, because she is the daughter of justice. I also do actually love Cress and Juno's relationship, and Cress and Thalia's. This isn't edited so might do it later, but need to cook and work, so have it now.

Let me know what you think,

Love Li xx