She wished she could turn back the hands of time and spend two more days with Farha, it turned out after so much begging, Yazeed let her stay for those two days. It was the happiest she had been in a very long time, and right now that she was standing by the car, not being able to get into it was the toughest she had felt. She wanted to ask him for another day but she knew it wouldn't be possible, they all sacrificed something for the other, Farha hadn't gone for her work too. She hugged her once again and this time, Farha pushed her into the car and smiled.

"Whenever I get the chance to come to Lagos, I will, Jalilah. And even if you've gone back to Abuja or Adamawa by then, I'll still come, okay?" Jalilah nodded her head and they bade each other farewell before Yazeed drove off.

Jalilah turned to him and sighed, "I'm missing her already." She whispered, and looked so down that Yazeed wished if he could, he would take her back. But she had to go back, she had a lot of things she started and had to finish.

"Maybe before we leave back to Abuja you can visit her again if she doesn't get the chance to." He said with his eyes fixed on the road and Jalilah turned to look at him with a sheepish grin.

"Really? Promise?" He nodded his head at her and smiled, "Yes, it's a promise. But it won't be fulfilled unless you become a very good girl, okay?" She nodded her head like a little girl and promised that she would be the good girl he wanted her to be.

Their drive back to Lagos was filled with silence, as both of them had something on mind to think of. Jalilah had something there was something off with Farha, as if she was hiding something from her which was also about her. It was as if she knew that something was wrong with her, or something would be wrong with her but she didn't want her to worry about it and she kept it to herself. She knew if it got to the point that Farha wouldn't let it to herself anymore, Jalilah was sure she would tell her and also the best way to take care of herself.

And for Yazeed, he didn't know what was wrong with him, he wanted to talk to someone, the kind of deep conversation that he can pour half, if not all his fears. The questions Farha had asked him and also his way of answer had been engraved in his memory, he was afraid. What if he answered himself? What would he do? There was no way that could happen and whatever it was, he had to stop it. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he would have to do it for his sanity. There were things he couldn't risk for anything or anyone I this world.

She turned to him after they had arrived in Lagos and smiled, "We're so fast now, was it because you weren't disturbing me about how I'm sulking my face like when we were going to Abeokuta?" He wondered how little things pleased Jalilah. She was easily amazed and she could be happy by the little things about her.

"You aren't being angry today, even though you're sad but sometimes your silence is good." He loved her silence. Even though whenever she was silent he thought that something was wrong with her, but whenever he looked at her face while she was silent she seemed pleased and relaxed.

Silence prevailed between them again, and she held a smile on her lips so gracefully like a mother did to her child. She stared at the road and when she saw them taking a different route even though she wasn't sure about the roads of Lagos, she turned to him. "Where are we going? Or it will also lead us to the estate?" She asked, staring out at the window and loving the cool breeze caressing her skin.

He shook his head, "I'm taking you somewhere, you won't see the light of the day from today." He frowned and when she abruptly turned to look at him, she seemed truly frightened, which made him laugh. "Come on, I was only joking, Jalilah. You know I can't do that, right? And even if I dare do it, Farha will make sure I rot in jail."

She shook her head, as if she wasn't believing what he was saying. "I don't believe you, if not, where are you taking me to? I've never been here." She was looking around and as much as she raked her brain, Jalilah couldn't remember the time they ever followed this way with either him nor David.

"Oh my god, do you trust me?" He turned, their eyes met while she pondered over his question. Did she trust him? That was an unknown question, she had never thought about him. But now that he asked her, she felt that she trusted him. She knew she was always safe with him, there was an aura attached with him that Jalilah always found soothing and surely, it was a good thing.

She innocently nodded her head, "Yes, I trust you. But..." Yazeed cut her off before she continued with what she was saying and he turned back to look at the road. He liked the expression she had on her face when she told him she trusted him. It was a good feeling having someone that will trust you just the way she did.

"If you trust me, then you have no fear whatsoever."

Through his peripheral view, Yazeed watched as she turned her eyes on the road and shrugged off her shoulder, "I'm sure you won't hurt me, so, I'll just ease my mind." She smiled and closed her eyes, relishing the breeze and whatever thought she had in her mind. I'm sure you won't hurt me. It felt as if those words had a chain with them, because they wrapped his heart in a way he had never known he could feel, with guilt, fear, and urge to prove her words to her.

After he parked, Jalilah turned to look at him then back to the place, "Lekki conversation centre?" It came out more of a question than affirmation. He nodded his head at her before he hopped out of the car and she did the same, leaving her bag behind because she felt that she wouldn't need anything there.

"Shall we?" He asked, and she nodded her head at him while they walked side by side into the place. The first thing that caught her attention was the greenery, everywhere was green that Jalilah didn't know when she gasped and smiled at the same time. She felt as if she was in the midst of those captivating forests in Maui or Thailand or whatever country it was. She loved green, she loved the ambience, she loved it that she was here today!

She turned to look at him with a wide grin, "This place is beautiful, I love it Yazeed!" She squealed and he smiled before he led the way for them.

But before they reached their destination, he turned to look at her, "Do you know why I brought us here?" His height hovered over hers, they were dangerously close that Yazeed needn't to take a step if he wanted to hug her, he could do that by just putting his hand on her back to bring her into his body. She looked up at him with innocence dripping from her eyes.

"No, why is it?" She asked when he got dwelled into her eyes and didn't voice a word about it.

He closed his eyes, wondering whether to do it or not, but damn the senses! Damn the thoughts yelling at him not to, he can face the consequences later. He pulled her two hands and held them in his, Jalilah stared at their entwined hands and then back at his face, wondering what it was that Yazeed wanted to speak about this much. He looked into her eyes and softly smile, "I need someone to talk to, Jalilah. Yes, I know I have a Sulaiman to do that, or maybe Wafiyya would do, but they know it even though we've never spoken about it. I need fresh ears, someone that wouldn't judge me or look at me with pity, will you do that?"

She could feel the weight of his heart with each word he had uttered, and she nodded her head softly at him while squeezing his hands. "I'll listen to you, and if you don't want me to speak a word, I won't, Yazeed. Just get it off your chest, okay?" She was calm, soothing and tender that Yazeed wished there was a way he could just hold her for some time. He didn't know why since she had that phone call with her mother he had been restless, he was having flashbacks, dreams and thoughts that were trying to rip him off his sanity.

"You can speak if you think it'll make me feel better. I've never voiced it out, it might be hard to force the words out, okay?" She nodded her head and Yazeed guided them to where they would walk. To the longest canopy walkway in Africa. He felt that if he needed to talk about it, he should have an ambience that would make him forget who he was, just what was his mind and the person he was speaking to would matter. After he paid for them, the instructor told then they shouldn't look down the bridge and he should hold her close, even though it was safe, she might be frightened of the height. Even though Jalilah was truly amazed by the green, how the bridge looked as if she had gone to a honeymoon and she was exploring all that Allah had blessed the country with, her heart went out for Yazeed. She wondered how he was feeling. What went wrong that he so bad wanted to speak about it.

With there hands entwined, they began walking side by side, enjoying the cool breeze, seeing as the leaves waved at them in such a soothing way that Jalilah felt so much at each. She could hear the distinct chirps of the birds as though it were morning in Bali. She looked up at him, the smile more prominent and ever so beautiful on her life, "It's beautiful."

He nodded his head and after so much time, Yazeed squeezed her hand, she looked at him and smiled, "You can talk whenever you want to, if you feel like you can, don't force yourself, you might wound your heart."

She could see how her words tried to ease him off, and after sometime, they were just walking while she held the railing that looked so much like a rope, she heard his voice. It was choked up with emotion that she needn't be told that whatever he was going to tell her, was taking a toll on him and had been doing that since he were a little boy.

"I missed her." She had always thought it was only hurtful words from him that had the power to crush her the moment he uttered them, she didn't know endearing words such as I miss her could do so much to her heart. So much damage and she began wondering who he was talking about. "My mother, I call her Ummi. She's the sweetest soul I've ever met in my life, soft spoken, peace maker, and she's so beautiful that there were times I childishly asked her how she could be so beautiful. She told me her parents were from Niger, precisely Agadez, but she had never been there. All her life, they lived in Kebbi until her parents died and she had no where to go, she was the only child, and she had no family. She got help from a woman that brought her to my father's house as a maid. He had always been a rich man, but he slowly began loving my mother. Hajia is my step mother, she has been declared infertile since they got married with Alhaji but he had never thought of marrying again even though he loved to have kids until Ummi began working for them.

"It got to the point that he couldn't hide his love for her and they got married shortly after. Ummi has a good heart, she easily smiles and always forgives. I could still remember the way she looks whenever she's happy, like you, little things excites her. Some times I feel it's because she grew up without all the luxuries in this world, but later when I met you I realized you could have all luxury and those little things that didn't matter will still entice you. Her name was Hajar Amadou Sule. That time I found it funny that I even ask her her name constantly because I loved the way she pronounced her name with the French accent I didn't know how she got it.

"After she conceived me, that's when her hardships began to increased. Hajia did all she could to make her miscarried the baby but it was bound to happen, I was bound to live..." He let his words trialed off and chuckled, but Jalilah needn't be told that it was the saddest chuckle she had heard in a very long time. She squeezed his hands but without a word, because she felt like if she spoke, she might stop him from speaking further. And from the way he was speaking, it was palpable that just thinking about it was hard, not to speak about voicing it out.

"I was given birth to, Alhaji had never been as ecstatic he was his whole life, there were days he didn't go to office if I was either sick or just being stubborn. He was the loveliest father I could ever imagine of. Even though Hajia bullied me, she made sure he wasn't around and I won't tell her. Which whenever I wanted to do that, Ummi asked me not to. But do you know what's the most amazing thing?" This time, he stopped walking and turned to look at her, she looked up at his face and sadly smiled before she shook her head.

"I had a sister. Her name was Amina, she's the cutest baby girl I've ever seen. He loved me so much that whenever it's time for school, I have to hide before I could leave in peace. She was lively, talked so much even though she couldn't pronounce anything correct. She used to call me Yayid, that was Yazeed to her." He had to stop, he felt something so hard trying to choke him to death. Pain so much that he wished they could sit down but they had to keep moving.

Jalilah didn't miss the way he always referred to them in past tense, she didn't like where this story was moving. She looked up at him and reluctantly, she placed her hand on his heart and sadly shook her head, "It hurts, right?" She asked, and he nodded his head. "Then stop talking, you can always voice it out if it doesn't hurt like it does. Give yourself some time." Yazeed placed his hand on top of hers and shook his head. If someone saw them now, one would think they were the loveliest couple alive, maybe they were thinking of what name to name their child or the next country they would go for their honeymoon, no one could detect the grief in their hearts, especially Yazeed.

"But I want to pour it all out, it's taking a toll on me. Somethings it's so hard for me to breath, I dream about them, Jalilah." Maybe she was wrong about Yazeed, maybe he wasn't as strong as she thought he looked. Maybe he wished could cry so hard until he forgot about his grief. There were a lot of maybes that she wished she had known since then. Even though she didn't know the whole story, she was sure she grew up with so much grief that he failed to realize happiness even if he saw one.

"Then pour it all out, should we go back over under those shades and sit down?" The moment she suggested it, Yazeed knew that was what he needed. He nodded his head at her and they turned back. They walked in silence, their hands entwined and he could feel the way she was squeezing his hand time to time, maybe to him him that she would be there for him, or she was there, she would make him feel better.

He didn't speak until they sat down and he was still holding her hand, he tried to smile but failed. "Am I making you sad with my story?" He questioned, but Jalilah quickly shook her head.

"I'm just sad for you, Yazeed. You've been holding this into your heart for a very long time and it has been eating you up not finding the one to talk to, it must have been too painful for you." He innocently nodded his head at her and she sighed. "I want to share your grief with you, Yazeed. Talk if you can, but if you can't, don't force yourself to." She assured him, he looked at her with appreciation dripping from his eyes. Suddenly, nothing excited her anymore, not even the green or how beautiful these shades were.

"Here is the saddest part, maybe I was too young then to comprehend anything, maybe there were signs I should have seen but I was only 7, and I didn't know if I was smart enough to see them. I woke up one day and saw that I was already left for school, I thought maybe Ummi overslept that's why she didn't wake me up, or maybe she was sick and I walked to her room to check up on her. But her room was open, Ummi wasn't there. Amina was only two years, but she had her room even though she always slept with Ummi. I checked to see whether it was Amina that was sick and Ummi slept with her, but she wasn't there too. I checked everywhere I could, the whole house, it was only Hajia's part that I didn't dare enter, but Ummi wasn't there.

"She left, Jalilah. I understand maybe she was tired of Hajia's mistreatments, and how Alhaji was changing from the person he used to be, he didn't speak to her, he wasn't my lovely father anymore. I was fortunate of his love, but Amina wasn't. I doubt if he had ever held Amina in his hands, maybe that was what Ummi got angry over. When I went to him that they were nowhere to be found, he acted as if he didn't know who I was talking about. As if Ummi had never got meddled in his life. As if she had never happened. I don't know how he knew I was his son but didn't care who my mother was, he didn't even look for her, Jalilah.

"For years, I've resented Ummi. I still do, maybe maturely then before. Why did she left with only Amina? Why didn't she leave with me? Didn't she love me? Or was she ignorant of the fact that I would suffer even if that house was my father's house and the people in it were meant to be my family? When I got to the age I should look for her myself, I was full of bitterness, every time I remembered about her I wish I didn't know her and she had left when I was just a baby so I don't have those beautiful memories of her. I wanted a mother, but I've never gotten one. And even though I had a father, he was always absent, the rare moments he was present, he always made me feel unwanted, unloved and despised. I blamed it all on Ummi, whenever Alhaji does something bad to me, I hated her more, because if she hadn't left me behind, he wouldn't have done that to me."

She knew for the past five years she thought that no one could ever know pain like she did, but right now after hearing Yazeed's story, she knew she was wrong. She only knew her shade of pain, and maybe as much as her's hurt, his one wound was carved since when his heart was young and he grew with it, a scar he didn't even know how to cleanse it even if he wanted.

She stared at him with tears in her eyes while she shook her head, but she knew there were no words she could say to him that would make him feel better. She pulled his head to her side until he rested on her shoulder and she softly patted his hair, "It's okay, you'll be fine, okay? You don't deserve it but we don't know her reasons, Yazeed." Jalilah didn't know he was crying until she felt the way his body was silently moving, and when he opened his mouth to speak, it was the saddest she had ever heard someone sounded.

"Why did she take Amina and left me? Whatever her reason was, didn't she realize that I need her too? That I love her, Jalilah?" Jalilah began rocking him and brushing her hand into his hair in a way she knew might soothe his mind, "I don't even know whether she's alive or not, I don't know the kind of life they live, Jalilah. Are they suffering? Do they have food, shelter and clothing? How are they living knowing they have me somewhere else in a different world? Amina..." He broke into more tears and couldn't continue with what he was saying. "I don't know if she's alive, Jalilah, if they're alive." That was the fear he had lived with for eternity. It was among the reasons he didn't try to look for her after he had grown up and was capable of doing that, he was afraid. He was afraid of what he would hear, he was afraid to heard that they were no more or either of them had died long ago.

Jalilah had no words, she would never understand even if she tried to. It was a whole different pain he was walking around with, and she had now proved herself right. The first time she saw him she knew he had so much grief in his heart, but he did so well at hiding anything that you could hardly tell unless you looked closely, which was why he pushed everyone away. He didn't want anyone to notice.

She let him cry on her shoulders to his satisfaction, which was a first timer for Yazeed. He had never had a shoulder to lean on, and it was the sweetest feeling on earth. She didn't judge him about hating his mother, she didn't ask questions, she didn't tell him it would be fine or she would emerge someday out of no where and ask for his forgiveness. She didn't do all that, she was just silent, brushing her hand through his hair and consoling him in the best way she could, which was through her silence. He looked up from her shoulder and she ruefully smiled at him, "How are you feeling now?" She asked, and he wondered.

How was he feeling? He didn't know. "I don't know."

She clasped her hands around his hand and smiled, "I know there's nothing I could say to make you feel better, you can cry it out for all you want. You've been holding it back for so long, you've been hurting for years, two decades and years on top, it's only fair if you cry about it now. I don't know why Ummi did that, but I want to think positive of her, maybe she had her reason, maybe not, we both don't know. I don't know what advice I should give you, or what I should ask you to do. It has been pretty long, before you will be able to find them, you need to find yourself, Yazeed."

"I don't know how to, will you help me?" He asked, and for the first time Jalilah noticed how innocent he looked. She saw a boy deprived of a beautiful childhood in his wet eyes, she saw a teenage lad snatched off his youthful age, she saw a man, hungry of love and care even though all he did was acted all fine and strong.

She nodded her head and smiled, "I will, as long as you want me to." He smiled too, still holding onto her hand. She looked around and noticed it will soon be dark, they needed to be home.

She turned to look at him, "Should we go home now, or you want to stay for a little while?" She asked, which he shook his head at.

"Let's leave, I'm feeling much better." They stood up and walked hand in hand until they reached his car and she stood beside him.

"Do you want me to give you a hug? Will it make you feel better?" She asked, because she could see that he was still holding up, as if he didn't let everything out. There was more, more grief he didn't voice out, something that she feared might outweigh the pain of not knowing the whereabouts of his mother. Maybe her hug would help, maybe he might feel relieved, maybe she could make him feel better.

Instead of an answer, Yazeed pulled her to his body and hugged her as tightly as he could. She softly smiled and wrapped her hands around his torso. She felt the way he rested his head on her shoulder and was reluctant before he wrapped his hand around her back as well. He sighed and closed his eyes, "Thank you for being here, Jalilah. Thank you for lending me your shoulder, for just listening."

❤︎

It had been a week, and Jalilah could say he was better than his old self. He sometimes told her his thoughts and seemed for advice, she was more of the friend she denied to be. And as she was in the car heading back home from her ballet school, she was so excited that she could hardly hold it in. David turned back at her and smiled, he wa a good man too.

"Madam, you're in a good mood today, any news for us?" She forgot to mention, he loved to gossip, and as he was now, he thought Yazeed was her husband, everyone did. Even the people in their estate thought they were married, it was a good feeling being able to fool everyone.

"What's the good news, David? I have no good news, I'm just happy." She smiled at him.

"You know, when my wife was pregnant, she had this expression when she was about to tell me, so I thought maybe today Oga will hear a good news today." Jalilah didn't know when she threw her head back and laugh.

"Oh my god, David that's not the good news. I don't have anything inside me." From then, she didn't voice a word out, and when they arrived, she was so excited to get out of the car that she found it a torture to wait until he parked and he handed her the key.

She entered the house, happy that she had seen Yazeed's car parked outside. She dropped her bag and the key while calling out his name, "Yazeed!" She moved through the living room and searched the kitchen but he wasn't there. She kept calling his name while moving around, the adrenaline in her bursting like she had never felt before, she didn't tell this to anyone, she wanted him to be the first person to hear.

She ascended the stairs while calling his name but he wasn't there, she was just about to pass the upstairs living room when she saw a glimmer of light and walked inside. "Yazeed!" She said excitedly, and he looked up at her, standing up when he saw her expression.

She clapped her hands excitedly and spoke, "Guess what?!" The wide grin on her face was enough to tell him it was a good story, and he chuckled before he answered.

"You have the good story, Jalilah, just say it out." She whined and giggled after that.

"Do you remember the competition I told you about? The that unless you pass it you wouldn't be able to get to the grand competition," she rambled in one breath and he nodded his head.

"Yes, you did it, what about the result?" He could already tell the good news, but he wanted her to say it herself.

"I won! Yazeed I won!" She screamed and jumped up excitedly.

He laughed at how she was acting like a small girl and he waved for her to come over, "Come here, you're so excited."

She grinned and walked beside him, Yazeed pulled her over to his body and side hugged her. "Congratulations, Ballerina. I told you, you're amazing when it comes to things you love." He placed her head on his chest and patted her head lovingly, she was still chuckling and moving excitedly.

"You can't imagine how excited I am. I've been nervous about it."

He broke their hug and guided them to the sofa, she sat down and was smiling. "And now what?" He asked, she looked up at him and smiled again. Did she ever get tired of smiling?

"Then in a month now, it will be the grand competition, but I'm so nervous." She slumped sadly and softly smiled.

"Come on, I know you can do it. You don't have an idea how great you dance." He assured, and she looked at him with a surprised expression.

"Have you ever seen me dance?" That was when he knew that he had slipped off, he quickly shook his head.

"No, I've never seen you dance. But from the way you paint and how much you love ballet, I'm sure you're great."

She stubbornly shook her head, wrapping her hands around her chest, "I don't think I'll win, but it won't matter if I don't because at least I give my soul what it wants. This is enough for me."

"You just have to practice harder, I'm sure you'd do well."

"I will, maybe after I'm sure about myself, I'd let you see my dance." She giggled and palmed her face when he lifted a brow and winked. "You're breaking a rule, Yazeed!"

Someone should help take a hold of my heart! What's all this cuteness?🥺❤️

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