She looked tired, no, he had to rephrase that sentence, she was tired. He had been standing on the stairs, his right hand on the railing as he stared at the ways he danced. He wondered how she was able to do that. She came back from the ballet school only some hours ago, he doubted if she had taken her dinner yet. This had been going on for almost a month now, the last time they had spoken and he let her see his face was the day they had that date. Yes, he could admit to that being a date, because if not, what would he call it? That was the happiest Yazeed had been in years that had surpassed. And after that, he went into hiding again.

He could admit there were times he wished he could go to her and have a decent conversation, just to speak with her, but he restrained himself. He knew he didn't have strong reasons for doing that, but surely, deep within his heart he knew that was the safest way for them. If he kept on seeing her, having meals with her and maybe on some weekends to go out with her, even he himself didn't know what would be of them. And right now as he stared at her like he always did, for the past one month he was sure she didn't have an idea that he came down at night just to stare at her as she danced. And she only did that when she thought he was asleep.

He smiled to himself and watched as she slumped on one of the sofas, catching her breath as she smiled widely at herself. Maybe she was proud of herself for what she did. It was only wonders how he had known so much about ballet through her, and he could say she had improved the way she danced since they arrived to Lagos. This school was doing wonders to her, and he guessed she was loving it. He discreetly walked to the kitchen and bought out all he knew she would like to eat, it was mostly yoghurt and a cake slice, preferably, bounty cake slice.

She didn't know he was there until he sat on the sofa, making sure there was enough distance between them and handed her the cup, "Here, take a sip."

She looked startled at first, but when she saw it as him, she eased off a bit. She reluctantly collected the cup from his hand and stood there watching at him with suspicion in her eyes. He softly smiled, "What? Aren't you hungry? It's your favorite yoghurt flavor, plain, right? And here, a bounty cake slice," he said and placed the cake between them, Jalilah was only staring at him with her mouth wide agape.

"Is this your clone or it's the real you?" She said and sipped the yoghurt, it was as if he knew what she needed but was so tired to walk to the kitchen to get it for herself. But, "How did you know my favorites?" She voiced out her thoughts and Yazeed smiled.

How was he going to tell her? That he knew what her favorite was because she ordered so much of it and on days he realized it was going to finish, he ordered more for her without her noticing? It had gone on like that for a while, him ordering for all her sweet nothings whenever he saw that they were about to finish and he knew they were mostly what she ate, it was always wonders to him how she didn't notice that their numbers were increasing while all she did was ate them. And right now, he didn't have the answer to her question, because he wanted that to be his little secret as well.

For the month that had passed, Jibril came twice and they went out, she would always be back before it was dark, and he had never showed her that he knew she was out with Jibril, she didn't even see him to start with. And right now as she stared at him waiting to answer her question even though she was already taking in the cake and yoghurt, he smiled again. It was befuddling how much he had missed her even though he made sure to steal glances at her whenever she thought he was in his room. But seeing her closely, he missed that terribly. Her voice too, in as much as she had a phone call with Farha or sometimes with Wafiyya, it wasn't enough now that he had heard it close to him.

"What are you doing here late at night? Why didn't you sleep?" He turned back the question and she looked up at him.

"Wait, are you sure there isn't poison in this? Because I'm still in doubt." She said and placed the spoon she was holding down.

"How could I poison you? Had it been the police wouldn't come at me after that, I would have gladly done that, but it's traceable, Jalilah."

She shook her head, not finding it funny. "The fact that I haven't seen you in a month now, and you showing up at night, being all nice to me. Are you sure you aren't using my soul for some ritual?" Initially, Yazeed knew she was the craziest lady he could ever meet, Wafiyya included. But whenever she spoke, he knew he had always underestimated her craziness, how could she think of this?

"If you don't trust me, bring the plate and cup, I'll take them back to the kitchen." He threatened to take the plate form her but she firmly held it.

"No, come on, I was just being curious. Why are you here? I thought you were asleep?" She asked and continued eating, he was just staring at her. There were times that he felt a strong magnet attaching him to Jalilah and he always found it so hard to take his eyes off her, and to his misfortune, today chose to be like that as well. She looked exhausted, but relaxed to the point that he was sure if she laid down now, nothing could stop her from sleeping in the next breath he would take.

"I was hungry and when I came down, I saw you slumped on this sofa. I knew you were hungry, so I got these for you." I got these for you, Jalilah knew how much impacting these words from him were, to her heart, and she smiled graciously.

"Thank you. Should I get something for you to eat then?" She asked, and Yazeed instantly shook his head.

"No, you don't have to worry. Let's talk since you're done." He said and watched as she placed away the plate and cup before she stared at him. Yes, she wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world. Yes, she didn't have the most beautiful smile either, but right now as she smiled confusingly at him, Yazeed tagged himself as the biggest liar of the world, because there was once a day he had told her that she wasn't beautiful, while in the actual truth, he had never seen something with a beauty as tantalizing as hers. At first glance, you'd just say yes she's beautiful. But after knowing her for some time, the hidden beauty would suffice, and she'd be the most beautiful person you'd ever see in your life.

"Talk? About what?" She asked, the smile unwavering on her face that he wished he could tell her to stop smiling at him, it was making things to him, going to places in his soul he didn't wish to remember.

"I don't know, just talk. I can't sleep, maybe you tell me about your ballet school? Have you made any friends there?" He asked, initiating the conversation in such a way that she would be the one to speak while he could have the chance to stare at her until he couldn't anymore.

"Oh," she sighed with a smile. "I think it's amazing, I'm loving it with everything I've got. And yes, at some point I know I'm friendly, but choosing friends sometimes is so hard for me, I'm always careful when it comes to my friends. Because I'm sensitive, I'm too emotional. Things get to me easily and the moment I allow someone into my life, I unknowingly give them the power to hurt me whenever they can. Which isn't good, I know. But I don't know how to change that either. After I realized this about me, I cut off all my friends, they only became either course mates or acquaintances. I only allow you to be my friend if I'm certain you won't hurt me. And since then, I'm more at peace, it does more good to me than bad. Although sometimes I wish I had more friends, to chat with, have crazy conversations with or just hangout. But no, I want this version of myself more."

She was smiling when she was speaking, as if she had remembered something she shouldn't have. Or it just made her happy seeing how much times had passed and what she achieved from getting to the best version of herself. As much as he was proud of her, he was proud of her too. She truly looked at peace, and somehow, at some level, they shared the same pain or view, whatever he would like to call it. "I've never had friends in my life, not even one." He found himself revealing to her. Even though he was certain she had sensed that about him, but he had never admitted it to anyone else before.

She looked surprised, but at the same time she looked amazed. "Really? But how? I mean, how can you not have friends when you've went to school and all?" She couldn't help asking.

He shrugged and sighed before he turned to look at her with a smile, "I've had Sulaiman with me then, and whenever I needed something that I could only get from a female friend, Wafiyya was there for that. It became tough when we first went to school with Sulaiman though, none of us could cook. And he gets invited to parties, he had female friends to sometimes invited him to their apartment with some of his male friends, but no matter how much they would urge me to go, I wouldn't. I wanted my own space, it was more safe. I resorted to eating only junks, ordering foods and what not. But after Wafiyya came to our school, she became my chef. I sometimes go to her apartment after I'm done with my lectures and even if she isn't there, she always cooks something for me before she leaves. So I guess, Sulaiman and Wafiyya were there that I didn't even notice I had no friends or simply because I didn't want to have one."

She chuckled softly, "That means Wafiyya has saved your life times without number, she didn't deserve that smacks and knocks from you."

He threw his head back and laughed, "The idiot knows so much about me, and she always use that against me, you know? That's only a factory reset for her. But yes, I'd forever be indebted to her, she's an amazing person."

Softly, Jalilah smiled and agreed with what he had said, "She's amazing, I believe. I think we have this in common then, friends sometimes makes your life a living hell, they sometimes contribute to your grief. I feel it's more safe not to have much of them. But having one or two is amazing as well. Try having a friend, Sulaiman and Wafiyya are your cousins, but have someone else."

She was giving him that encouraging smile and Yazeed wished he could tell her everything. "What kind of friend do you think should have? Because I feel like not all people will cope with me, and it's hard to create a bond as strong as yours and Farha, not just hard, it's also late." He shrugged off his shoulder, even though this was the excuse he had been given himself, he knew deep down this wasn't his only reason.

She chuckled beautifully and turned to fully face him, sitting into yoga position on the sofa, giving him her full attention. "Well, for a person like you, I'd advice you have both male and female friend. Wait, not necessarily female because you might have a girlfriend or even a wife someday, and that will definitely arise jealousy. Have a male friend, he will set you right sometimes. Because somehow, I feel like most of the times Sulaiman tells you you're wrong about something, you feel it's because he knows your deep roots and wants you to change your path. But if it's someone that doesn't know you, he'll just give you advice base on what is right, not because he knows your roots or wants you to change. And also, it's refreshing having someone to talk to apart from your family. I don't know, but you need a friend."

He stared at her longer than a minute before he turned to face her just like she did, only that he didn't pull his legs into yoga position like her. "Okay, be my friend then." She looked at him and he had the most serious expression she had ever seen.

She chuckled softly and shook her head, "I just told you that you can't have a female friend. Even though you need the warmth of a female friend, which you boldly refuse to let Wafiyya give to you because you've known her for long and she's more of a sister to you. A female friend would do, but because of hurdles avoidance, get a wife or girlfriend, anything. But for me? I can't be your friend."

"Why can't you be my friend? I don't want a male friend, because Sulaiman plays the role of a father to me sometimes even though we're of the same age, I think he's okay. But I want you to be my friend." He was serious. Jalilah replayed the words in her mind, I want you to be my friend. How could she tell him that even though she wasn't sure of her feelings yet, she didn't want to just be his friend? She wanted something more than a friend with him, being his friend wouldn't suffice.

She shook her head again, "I can't be your friend. I don't even know, but I just can't."

"What do you want to be then? What can you be?" He asked, fixing his eyes into hers.

Jalilah was silent for a while, she was held between her emotions. She didn't know what she can be for a now, but she was sure she needed to be more than his friend. And less than a wife. She didn't know yet, and he couldn't make her give an answer now, not even though mahogany eyes could do the trick. She shrugged, "I don't know yet, but whenever I'm sure of what I can be in your life, I'll let you know." He nodded his head with a smile.

"I'd wait until then. But incase you want both, you can be what you want to be and still be my friend." She chuckled and nodded her head at him. She brought something up, making their conversation take a different diversion. Solely because this question was heavy on her heart, she didn't know why she felt that even though she wasn't sure of what she wanted to be, it would be something too huge for Yazeed to give to her. They conversed for some time, just having a deep conversation and giving out their views on some things, something they had never done before and she had never imagined would happen in their lives. She didn't even think they could have a conversation similar to this again in their lives.

It was not until Yazeed stared at the clock and he saw the time was hours past midnight did he urged them to retire for the night. Not because he wanted to bring an end to their conversation, because he had never imagined Jalilah could talk as she did today. She thought philosophically, she spoke with intelligent and was so smart that he wondered if she was the same crazy girl he had known for some time now. But he knew she had her art classes tomorrow, which reminded him, he had assigned David to be taking her because he didn't want their paths to be crossing, but he had a change of mind now. He had seen her danced ballet times he didn't care to count, now, he wanted to stare at her as she painted.

❤︎

Pulling herself out of bed was the hardest task Jalilah had to do this afternoon. She knew she had to get ready in time because David would be here anytime from now. She didn't ponder over what had happened between her and Yazeed yesterday, because she knew it would be another month or less before she would see him again. How he did it meticulously was what would forever leave her in great wonders. Because he avoided her at all cost, and unless he wanted her to see him, Jalilah would never, and going to his room was something she would never do unless she was dying and wanted to be taken to the hospital.

She took her bath and after she was done getting ready, she walked downstairs, to her surprise, she met Yazeed on the dining table. It was afternoon already, but he had some food on his table, evident to her that he was having his breakfast, or maybe he was done with his breakfast or a brunch would sound better. She smiled softly at him, "Good morning. I can see you're still on your words, no hiding maybe for a month?" She joked and moved to the dining table.

He nodded his head with a sly smile, "You're going to be late for your classes, you should eat something before you leave." She looked out through the window with the question, "Is David here already?" In her lips as she served herself.

"Wait, unless I sleepwalked and cooked this, who did?" It was after she had taken the first bite that she figured out she hadn't cooked this healthy breakfast herself.

"I did, you were sleepy because you didn't have much sleep yesterday, which was because of me. So after I woke up, I figured you'd be late if you wake up and cooked breakfast. Come on, stop giving me the scary look and eat."

She took the second bite and with a smile on Jalilah's lips, she looked up at him. "But are you sure you're okay? Because it scars me sometimes when you're suddenly being nice, you know? I don't want to get used to this version of yourself while deep down we both knew you can change back to your usual self this instant."

Yazeed didn't reply her, only smiled and motioned for her plate for her. After she was done, they stood up at the same time and Jalilah thought he was going somewhere as well. Not until he got into his car after they had closed the house and she stood there trying to call David to see if everything was fine and he honked softly. "What? Have you forgotten something in the house? I can get it for you." She raised her voice a little and he shook his head and motioned for her to get into the car. She did, but with a confused expression on her face.

"What? Are you taking me there?" She asked while buckling her seatbelt.

He fixed his eyes on the road before he replied her, "Yes, I asked David to take some rest. It's always too much for him to be taking you there on Sunday, he has church to attend, we can't deprive him of it."

She nodded reasonably at him and smiled, "That's thoughtful of you, but I'm afraid someday you'd make me lose my class because I won't see you in a week or two and he didn't know you won't be there to take me."

He only smiled, and she didn't miss the way whenever she brought up something about the way he hid himself in the house, he didn't reply her but could only smile. They drove to the art centre in silence and when he parked, she turned to look at him while getting out of the seatbelt. "Thank you, I don't know how you survive those days, but please eat something healthy before I'm back, okay? You've lost some weight even though it's not prominent enough."

She walked out of the car but before she made her next move, Yazeed walked out as well. She stared at him with a stupefied expression, "What? Do you want something?"

He shook his head, a soft pout which she had never seen on him painted subtly on his lips, "No, can I follow you in? I have nothing to do and I'm bored. I promise, I won't disturb you from working, I'd just stare."

She looked at then entrance door then back at his face, the pout was still there and she doubted if he even knew what he was doing. "What will they think, Yazeed? You see why I'm urging you to have a male friend, right? You would have gone to him." There was a hint of smile on her lips, they were staring at each other by their doors, neither in nor out.

"We're done with that since yesterday, I just want to know if I can go in with you. Please?" So much innocent, so much handsomeness that Jalilah knew she would regret for the rest of her life if she said no to him.

"Promise me you'll be nice to them, deal?" She asked, trying to act like a strict mother to her child.

He nodded his head at her before he smiled widely, "Yes, and I won't make any trouble, Ballerina."

She was about to close the door when she looked at him, "You can't call me that either, because I won't concentrate on my painting if you do."

He chuckled and they closed their doors before they walked into the building walking side by side. The woman in the reception which always exchanged a few pleasantries with Jalilah whenever she came waved at her, "Good afternoon, Khadija!" She was about to speak again when she noticed Yazeed that was walking beside her, "Oh, your husband came today too? Luckily we're having a couple painting today, you two can join."

Jalilah looked at the woman with an awkward smile and turned to Yazeed, there were times she found the way his height hovered over hers amusing, and the way she sometimes had to look up before she could get a glimpse of his face. But right now, it was awkward for her, considering what Kate had just said. "Can you paint?" She asked, and he stared at her before he shook his head. "Will you learn from me?" Her head had been tilted upward that she was sure if she was wearing an Ankara headgear, nothing could stop it from falling down.

"Yes, I'd love to learn." He said with a grin and Jalilah turned to Kate.

"We're interested then, but can we have somewhere a little bit far from the other people?" She requested, because she was sure Yazeed might do something that would make them all feel awkward, which she would be so embarrassed of.

"Yes, I'd take you there." Kate said with a smile and she guided them to the painting room. They nodded courtly at the other couple that were having fun as they painted before she found them a place to sit at the far end of the hall, which was so far away from the other people, Jalilah was thankful of that. They sat down and she provided everything they would need before she told them they had to draw the same thing.

"But sadly, your wife is such a great painter, competing with her wouldn't be fair to you." Kate said to Yazeed with an apologetic smile and he smiled at her before she walked away.

He turned to Jalilah and sighed, "What should I do? Yours is already beautiful, I can tell."

She chuckled and shook her head at him, "Come on, you can't give up, you know, right? Even if it doesn't turn out great, it's only your first attempt and you can do that some other time. What do you think we should paint?" She asked and brought out a notepad from her bag with a pencil.

"I don't know, we're doing whatever you say here." He shrugged his shoulder and Jalilah sat there and thought.

"Let's paint sunset on a beach, the sun reflecting on the surface of the water and there will be two people on the beach, a man and a woman. It will be beautiful." She made a rough sketch and he stared at her after she was done with the sketch and he smiled.

"Let's paint then, I'm sure it will be beautiful." She set the canvases and mixed the colors for them, she could feel his eyes all over her while she was working and after she was done, she looked up at them. "This is your canvas, and these are the brushes you'd need, Yazeed."

He stared at her and then back to the sketch she had placed between them, "Where do I start from?" He questioned and she chuckled softly.

"You can start with the ocean, the sun, or the background which is now the sky. I don't know, just look at the way I do it. Come on, Yazeed, don't be nervous, I'm sure you can do it." She smiled encouragingly at him and he set to work.

They were neck deep into the painting when she looked up, she had this tired smile on her lips and her veil had loosened a bit. He looked at her, her hands had splatters of paints and colors and there was no way she could touch her head without staining her veil. She looked at his hand and was surprised at how meticulously he painted, there was not a single color on it.

"My veil, it's going to fall off in any minute." She lamented, not knowing what to do. It was either she sacrificed this light blue abaya which she loved, because once the veil permanently got spoiled she didn't know how she would be able to wear it out, or sacrifice her hair to be seen. Which was a hard choice for the both of them.

He dropped the brush he was holding and took a step toward her, his height hovering over hers, "Can I re-do it for you?" He asked, looking at how she was at the verge of tears. She had never mentioned it to him before, but he new she held her hair with great importance.

"Yes please. I don't know how you can do it, just tie it in such a way it wouldn't fall off again." He nodded his head and took another step, which was the only distance left between them. He was so careful so as not to reveal her hair even to himself, not to the other husbands in the hall even though none of them had noticed. He pulled the edges and wrapped it over her head the way he always helped Wafiyya whenever they took her to a henna salon with Sulaiman. There was a time she was being referred to as a tomboy in their family because of how she was always together with them.

After he was done, he moved back a little and Jalilah moved her head softly to make sure it was pinned perfectly before she looked up at him "Thank you so much. I can see your painting greatly." Her eyes wandered back at his canvas and she smiled. "You can do it, I've told you."

But he sighed and looked at the magnificent art she was painting, "Please, look at the way your canvas looks, so amazing that I wouldn't mind having it in my room for eternity, you aren't even done yet."

She laughed and went back to her canvas while saying, "But truly, Yazeed, you canvas looks great for a first timer."

They went back to painting, Yazeed didn't dip his paint in the color palette except she did and he didn't move it across the canvas unless she did, which was the reason she was painting so slow so he could be able to meet up with her pace. After they were done, she moved back a little with her eyes fixed on his canvas and she pulled it out. "You have no idea how great this is. I love it, Yazeed." She looked at him with a proud smile and he smiled back but shook his head.

"I get it, I've tried, but you're has perfection dripping from all its edges."

They picked their canvases and went back to the reception, Kate called out her name, "Khadija, are you two done already? Can I see the one your husband painted? I'm sure he'd have a bit of your painting vibe." It now occurred to her that it was no more awkward whenever someone referred to Yazeed as her husband, maybe she had gotten used to it, or it was the fact that even Mama now would refer to him as her husband.

They walked toward Kate as Jalilah said, "His name is Yazeed, Kate." She smiled and placed his canvas in front of her.

Kate looked up at him and gave him a thumbs up, "I knew you can't have a wife as great as she is and not paint this good. With just a few more attempts, you'd be great too." He smiled and thanked her, and somehow, the way she always referred to Jalilah as his wife gave him a feeling unknown to him.

They conversed shortly with Jalilah before they went to their car and drove back home. He had already parked when Jalilah turned to look at him, handing him her painting. "You can keep it with you." He collected it while still admiring the way it looked.

"What of mine?" He asked, not even glancing at the canvas. Jalilah chuckled before she pulled it to her chest.

"I told you I love it, I'd keep it with me. And you have your name signed on it, Yazeed A. Bunza, it's amazing." They smiled at each other and hopped out of the car, holding the canvases to their chest. He opened the door for them and with one more glance at his  painting, Jalilah looked at him and smiled, "You'd make a great artist someday, Yazeed." And somehow, she felt he might be the great artist of her heart.