C H R I S T I N A

"I can't believe I got in!" I squealed, hugging my friend as best as I could while holding my books. She didn't return the favor, but instead pushed me off of her as subtly as possible. Although it wasn't that subtle.

With a sigh I let go of her, straightening my outfit out. "Is everything okay Gina?" I asked her, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear. The air was suddenly filled with awkward silence, as she was obviously upset about something, which I don't really understand why she would be as I hadn't done anything to her besides walk up to her, giving her the good news.

Maybe it was just the fact I'm really happy while something unknown is bothering her? I'll never know but what I do know is her attitude is really beginning to take a toll on me. I'm supposed to be jumping for joy right now, not feeling bad about being excited that I got into a pricey camp while she's clearly upset about something.

And I don't think that to be rude, but I hardly ever have any good news, she's always the one that disregards my feelings usually, bragging about the car she's getting when she's sixteen, or that she got to meet One Direction five times before they broke up or something I would never get the chance to do or get.

She sighed and stopped walking, rubbing her forehead in frustration as she turned to me. Her eyes squeezed shut as she thought about whether she wanted to tell me or not, and I began to feel nervous as something must have really been bothering her.

"You know what? Fuck it. Yes, Christina Harris. Something is bothering me. Thank you for being a saint and noticing." She snapped rudely, her eyes finally opening. Her bright blue eyes were piercing, and I suddenly felt very intimidated by her. She's the only friend I have, best friend? No, not really. But she's the closest thing I have to one, and I guess that's saying a lot as she hasn't always been the best one.

"Well, what is it?" I asked anyway, ignoring her rude snap toward me. Hopefully, I can help with whatever is going on with her, so we can move past this and finally get to the library to do our little book meeting as usual.

"You! Okay, you! You are my problem." She exclaimed, shaking her head frantically as she blew up on me.

"I don't think I'm following you," I mumbled, holding my books tighter to my chest. Looking around, I noticed that nobody was nearby, preventing anyone from hearing her outburst on me and embarrassing me any further.

Today was supposed to be the perfect day. I had gotten my acceptance letter to Camp Rock, and I was supposed to meet Gina at the public library as we were both currently reading the Divergent series and wanted to talk about it each week. This was our meeting day, and I had been so excited to not only tell her about my amazing news but to also talk about how far we'd gotten in the book. We just finished the first book last week and was currently on the second one, and it's definitely one of my favorite book series ever.

"Of course you're not! You never are." She crossed her arms, and it was just now I'd noticed she had nothing in her hands, and she had come empty-handed. I knew she was off the moment I walked up and said hi, then the moment I had told her and tried to hug her was when she really started to push me away.

I didn't say anything, as I was taken back by her outburst. I had always tried to be a good friend to her, even if she wasn't the best one to me. I've always learned to give people love, even if they don't deserve it and even if they don't return the favor, it's just part of who I am. So I don't understand how I've been such a bad friend to her for her to react like this.

"You complain all the time! 'I wish I could've been on cheer team like you, or been on the dancing squad like Claire', 'I wish I could have a boyfriend, I think I'm a decent enough person to deserve one', 'Caleb is a horrible character in the Divergent series, Tobias is better'. Nag, nag, nag. Complain, complain, complain. Your life isn't even bad, Christina!" She yelled out, not caring if anyone heard her, thankfully the area was still vacant.

I looked around as tears brimmed my eyes, holding my books tighter if it were possible. I had never compared myself to Gina in that way, and I never realized how much I complained to her. She ignored the tears and continued to ramble about how bad of a person I am.

"...And of course the moment you get into this stupid camp you come brag to me about it!" She finished, throwing her hands around in the air as exaggeration. Her face was red, with no sign of regret or remorse in her tone.

"I didn't brag, I thought you liked the idea of going to Camp Rock?" I asked, my voice much quieter than hers.

"Of course I did. But then you got in, and I didn't. You would think that if you at least got in, I would be able to but apparently I'm not talented enough. What talent do you even have, Christina? Makeup? You wear thirty pounds of it on your face it seems, and this camp isn't even a camp for makeup. You'll be lucky if it wouldn't sweat off in the first thirty minutes of being there." She continued to insult me, and I quickly tried to hide my tears by wiping them.

"You didn't get in?" I asked, my voice breaking.

"No, did you not just hear me?!" She screamed, stomping her foot on the ground as if she were a three-year-old throwing a tantrum.

"I did, I just-" I stopped. "I don't wear thirty pounds of makeup on my face. Makeup is a hobby of mine, I barely wear it unless I'm just practicing or I have somewhere important to go. And I can play instruments. I play the piano really well, actually." I continued, ignoring how bad she was hurting me. Sticking up for myself in the nicest way possible was the best thing to do right now, at least I think.

"Oh, whatever Christina. I met up with you today to tell you I'm done." She ignored me.

"Meeting for our book club?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.

"Yes. And I'm done seeing you outside of school, and walking with you to classes. I'm done being your friend because you're too difficult," She replied, before shaking her head one last time and turning, walking away to leave me standing in front of the library alone.

I just sighed, wiping my cheeks as I pulled my phone out, dialing my mom's phone number. It didn't take her long to answer, and she immediately questioned what was wrong as she just dropped me off at the library not even ten minutes ago.

"Hey, mom? Can you come pick me up, Gina and I aren't meeting anymore." I told her, my breathing shaky.

"Of course honey. Everything okay?" She asked, worry evident in her voice as she immediately noticed my tone, and how I was struggling to speak with a strong tone.

"Not really. I'll tell you in the car." I replied, not feeling like breaking down just yet.

I seriously don't realize what I did wrong, is it not okay to be excited about things like this? I mean she and I both spent at least an hour last week every day talking about how exciting it was that Camp Rock was around the corner. We were both excited about this, I just didn't think she wouldn't get in. I figured she'd get in before I did.

It didn't take long for my mom to arrive and I got in the car, immediately telling her what happened. She just tried her best to comfort me, and made me chuckle by telling me she never liked Gina anyway, that she thought that Gina was little miss perfect, which in a way can be true. Clearly, I wasn't good enough to be her friend.

"Just think honey, in just a few days you'll be able to make new friends and have fun doing something you love!" She tried to look on the good side, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I know, I know. I'm not very good at making friends and you know that." I replied, picking at my jeans.

"But you will, I promise you." She smiled over at me as we pulled into the driveway.

"Yeah? Well, don't make promises you can't keep."

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edited: september 10th, 2019