"Is there a way you can tell us so we remember?" Hunter asked. "Like a song!" Lulu added. "Oh, hell no!" Max groaned. "Please?!" The kids begged. "Shit." Max whispered. "Well, I might have something. Everyone thinks I have a knack for music. But I think they're all crazy."

"Jasper, help me out. Drawers. Floors. Doors."

This is our camp, we've got every camp imagined,
So full of weirdos, with talents that will blow your mind,
This is my family, our summers are a big win,
So many stars and everybody gets to shine.

Whoa, so, let's be clear, Mr Campbell runs this show,
Well, at least he did until Guantanamo,
Whoa, the blessing here is Jasper had to go,
There's just a lot you simply got to know, so,

Welcome to the Camp of Campbell,
The home of the Camp of Campbell,
(We're on our way!)
Where all the people are fantastical and magical,
I'm part of the Camp of Campbell.

(I can't remember the gifts! Tell us everything!)

(And that's why coffee's for grown ups, unless you're me, that is.)

Camp Counselor David can grow a forest,
And lots of flowers, my allergies are all fucked up.
The next one's Daniel,
(We don't talk about Daniel.)
They say he poisoned a kid with Kool-Aid in his cup.
Whoa, and over there is Gwen now here's her deal,
Whoa, she'll help us out by helping campers heal,
Whoa, that anxiety of hers is made of steel,
If you're impressed, imagine how I...
"Twerp."
"Bitch."

Welcome to the Camp of Campbell,
The home of the Camp of Campbell,
(Hey, fuck you!)
I know it sounds a bit fantastical and magical,
But, I'm part of the Camp of Campbell,
These kids fell in love with the Camp of Campbell,
And now they're part of the Camp of Campbell.

So yeah, there's Art and Sports and Acting,
Although I'm not overreacting,
When I say there's so much at the Camp of Campbell.

(David)
We swear to always spread joy around us,
And earn a miracle that somehow found us,
The camp keeps growing,
The world keeps turning,

(Campbell)
But work and dedication will keep the miracle burning,
Yes, all this child labor will keep this miracle burning.

(What about the campers? What are their gifts?)

So many campers in town, so let's turn the sound up,
You know why? I think it's time for a camper roundup!
(Camper roundup.)

Nikki can chat with any living species,
Preston can shapeshift,
And Space Kid gets his gift today,
Nerris controls elements,
Harrison's all illusions,
Ered is so cool,
Perfect in every way,
Dolph brings all his art to life,
Nurf uses strength to survive,
(Neil, Neil!)
And Neil can read your thoughts,
The pussies of Camp Campbell start to dawn.

That's life in the Camp of Campbell,
A summer at the Camp of Campbell,
Where all the people are fantastical and magical,
That's who we are at the Camp of Campbell!

"Welp, I'm done with this shit." Max sighed. "But, what's your gift?" Tilly asked while Max froze for a second.

Well, I gotta go to the Camp of Campbell,
But now, you all know the Camp of Campbell,
I never meant this to get autobiographical,
So just to review the Camp of Campbell.

(What about Max?)

It starts with Campbell and then there's David, who thinks everything's swell.

(What about Max?)

Counselor Gwen can make you feel better and you won't be in hell.

(What about Max?)

My best friend, Neil,
Well, he's kind of a nerd, but he means well.

(What about Max?)

Hey, you said you wanted to know what everyone does, here's all of my friends and...

(Max!)

My other friend, Nikki,
I swear she's not really a human, you guys.

(Max!)

If you like the winter, then Ered will summon the snow in the sky.

(Max!)

Look! It's Tabii with two eyes,
Thoughts of Neil run in her crazy mind,
But between you and me, he'll never find the time,
So sorry, but I really gotta go!

(Max!)

This camp is amazing!

(Max!)

And I attend camp here.

(Max!)

Well...

"Max!" David shouted from the camp. "Damn it." Max groaned.

Hope you enjoyed this sneak peek at my AU. Story coming soon. -Mal.