tw: small description of a train wreck, someone dying, begins at "I often had nightmares about what happened" and ends at "...Bridgette's facial expressions."

Felix's POV

Crap.

This place brought back bad memories. Memories that, given the chance, I would've happily forgotten about. Memories of pretending to be Adrien, memories of opposing Ladybug, memories of stealing the rings.

Worst of all, memories of my mother.

She'd burst into the mansion, all happy and bright. Yes, maybe her intentions weren't all that pure. Yes, maybe she'd acted slightly obnoxious. But did I love her? Yes.

Maybe if I'd have known that the last time I would see her was on that train, I would've acted differently. Maybe I would've tried to soak up all the tiny details. Of how her mouth twitched when she was trying to hold in a laugh, that crinkle that formed between her eyes when she was concentrating, or the way her beautiful green eyes would widen slightly every time she was happy.

If only I'd taken the time.

~

I often had nightmares about what happened. When I'm awake, it's all a blur. The rushing train. the screeching of wheels against tracks. My colourful surroundings fading out as I try to recall what had happened. In my dreams, though, it's terrifyingly vivid. The way my mother grips my hand as the train lurches forward. The cold trickle of blood down my forehead as I'm thrown backwards. The warm tears down my face as I stand beside my mother's unmoving body.

I shuddered involuntarily. Yeah, I don't like being here at all. It keeps reminding me of what happened on the train. The weird angle my mother's neck was bent at as she-

Nausea rose up in my throat but I forced it back down again, instead concentrating on Marinette and Bridgette's facial expressions.

On one hand, Bridgette hadn't visited the mansion before, so she didn't seem all that bothered by it. In fact, she seemed almost in awe as she gazed around. I guess it would look rather fancy to an outsider- the polished marble floor, the grand white pillars, the unnecessarily massive portrait all pretty much screamed RICH! On the other hand, Marinette was smiling sadly as she looked around as if it was a nostalgic experience. Which I suppose it was; she'd have made plenty of memories, whether they be good or bad, that she immediately connected with this place. Memories she didn't look like she wanted to forget. Which, in reality, was a harsh contrast to the atmosphere of the mansion- a home is supposed to have a kind, warm feel to it whereas the Agreste Mansion was a stone-cold place with such a dampened atmosphere it made me wonder how Adrien, Marinette and their friends could ever have had fun here.

But this was Marinette we were talking about. Marinette "Light-Up-a-Room-Whenever-I-Walk-In" Dupain-Cheng. Marinette "I-Have-To-Make-Sure-Everyone-Is-Included" Dupain-Cheng. Marinette was so bright and bubbly she could even make a place like this feel good.

"Should we-" Bridgette broke the silence, startling both Marinette and I from our thoughts. "Should we- I mean, can we- explore further?"

Marinette (now having returned from whatever fantasy land she was in) smiled softly at her sister, knowing that she hadn't been able to experience first-hand the kind of luxury this household could entail.

"Sure," she responded, "looking around wouldn't do us much harm, right Felix?"

The memories, they just- I hated them. I hesitated before responding quietly. "I suppose not..."

Bridgette, sensing my discomfort, manoeuvred around Marinette to grip my arm. "Felix, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable if-"

"N-no," I breathed out shakily, "if there's any a time to face my fears, it's now. I might not get a second chance. Just you'll...stay here, right? Both of you?"

Marinette grabbed my other arm, nodding at Bridgette. "We're not going anywhere, Felix. We promise."

I nodded, and we ascended the stairs.

~

The banisters lining the staircases were covered in a thin layer of dust. Marinette ran her finger along one of them and came off with a ton of it on her finger. Brushing her hand against her gown to dispel it, she asked the question that had been on all of our minds- "Hey guys, what do you think we'll find up there?"

Bridgette was quick was to answer. "I'm not sure," she answered truthfully, "I don't think anything will be amiss, though. Considering the condition of the house," she pointed at the stairwell, also coated in dust, "no one's been here in a while. Still, I'm not sure..." she trailed off, "something seems off..."

I nodded again. I could feel it, too. The home felt like it hadn't been disturbed in a while, and yet I had the ominous feeling that it wouldn't stay that way for much longer. A hunch, if you will, that something bad might happen.

But I shook it off. I was so used to preparing myself for the worst that I'd decided to ignore it for once, and just take it as it comes.

Later, I would learn that I really needed to start trusting my hunches.

~

We reached a room on the top floor. I had no idea where we'd been going, but I guess my consciousness (combined with Marinette's) ended us up in front of my cousin's room.

"Might as well?" She asked, rather than stated.

Marinette and I looked at each other, slight fear in our eyes, but nodded nonetheless. Checking each and every room thoroughly was a key step in identifying whether there was an immediate threat in the mansion. So Bridgette reached out, gripped the handle, twisted it, and opened the door, to reveal-

Adrien's room.

Well yeah, duh, but-

Adrien's untouched room. Nothing seemed out of place here, or out of the ordinary. One quick sweep around the room proved me right. His bed was neatly made, his mini-arcade still intact and left where it was originally, his computer still set up in perfect order (only Adrien man, only Adrien), the sofa, the climbing wall, the bathroom (which Marinette refused to check, something about memories?)- point being, everything was fine.

Well, apart from me.

My mind raced as I instinctively drew myself inward. No, not again, I hate how I treated Adrien, oh god, I was so scared he'd hate me forever, I hated acting like a monster, I hated everything, oh god-

I couldn't keep it in any longer. I broke down crying. 

~

Later, if you'd have asked me, I'd pretend it didn't happen.

But in that one moment, everything was raw and fresh again, the way I acted, the train wreck, everything just came flooding back in that moment, and oh god, I wanted to cry, my heart hurt so much, aching for both peace and quiet, and- oh, I just wanted my mother back, I wanted her back so much it hurt, because even though maybe she wasn't the best of mothers at times, oh I just wanted her back, to say goodbye properly, and oh no, Adrien. Adrien, my cousin, whose friends I hurt, who I left in that corridor alone without saying goodbye to- god, there were so many people I didn't get to say goodbye to, and I couldn't even bother to? I was a horrible person, I didn't deserve to live like this, god why couldn't I save them? Oh, forget saving them, if I couldn't even say goodbye to someone properly how could I even dream of-

But then their hands were on my shoulders. Bridgette and Marinette's hands on my shoulders. Two of the people I cared for the most. They were here. They grounded me.

"Felix, hey," Marinette squeezed my shoulder. "Hey, I can't pretend to know what you're going through, never, but I can promise you that it will get easier, okay? It won't happen immediately, I'll be honest, but I know you can do it." 

"Yeah." Bridgette chimed in, voice unnaturally soft. "You can do it. You're strong, okay? Besides, your mother wouldn't have wanted that for you. She'd want you to be happy."

My breath hitched in my throat. She knew I couldn't stop thinking about my mother.

"I- just- don't give up, okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I-" my voice was quiet, "I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"I am." I stood up shakily, a small smile on my face. 

"She'd want me to let go."

~

Marinette placed a hand on her hips. "Well, I guess we'd better check the other rooms then...wow, we were getting scared for nothing, huh?" She grinned at me, though I detected the slight waver in her smile. Something definitely felt off then, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what.

So, again, I decided to ignore it.

Which, for the second time, was a terrible decision.

~

We split up to search the other rooms. Now, I know what you must be thinking. Felix, you dimwit-

(because all the cool people say "dimwit" these days- yeah, yeah, I know)

Felix, you dimwit- whenever people split up in the movies, they die!

Yeah, the three of us were aware. Hey, keep in mind, it was a mansion we were searching! There were tons of rooms in that thing! We needed to make it as fast as possible too, in case some sort of danger did happen to occur in the nearby future.

I checked everywhere I could. Nothing crazy or mad that stood out. The only thing I noticed was that with the amounts of twists and turns and rooms and dead ends, this may have been a maze instead of a mansion, at this point.

Not long after, we regrouped on the stairwell.

"Bridgette?"

"Nothing, everything looks in place, slightly dusty, exactly the same as the others. I think everything's fine here- the tunnel we came out of might just be a tunnel no one knows about. I don't know how someone could miss something like that, though...I'm at a loss. You, Felix?"

"Same as you, Bridge," I sighed, "looks fine, slightly dusty, nothing out of the ordinary. Marinette?"

No answer.

I tried again. "Marinette? Earth to Marinette?" She was lost in thought, head held in her hands as she sat down heavily.

"Uh... Marinette? You alive in there? Blink once for yes, twice for no?"

Bridgette and I held our breath, studying her eyes for any signs of movement. They were screwed tightly shut as her fists tightened in her hair- I could almost hear the gears in her brain moving.

Suddenly her eyes snapped open. "Wait, hang on-" Marinette stood up, almost flying upstairs with a determined expression on her face.

Bridgette and I looked at each other in confusion, stumbling over our feet in an attempt to keep up with her.

Ahead of us, she burst into Adrien's room, eyes darting around in a frenzy.

Hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath, I murmured, "Marinette? What is it?"

Bridgette went over to Marinette, about to place a comforting hand on her shoulder, when she narrowed her eyes.

Bridgette too scanned the room, her eyes widening. "I- what? No, no, that doesn't-"

"Oh Bridgette, not you too..." I shook my head. "Guys, I'm at a loss, can you- I mean- what's wrong? You look like you've-"

"Felix..." Marinette turned around, looking white as a sheet. "Come here."

I hesitantly made my way toward her. She was standing beside the piano, the glossy oak lid reflecting the anguish on her face. "I'm here, now what?"

"What's...what's the one thing each room each had in common?"

I ran through every detail I could in my head. "Uh... the white walls, the black curtains, that same freaking lamp with the same freaking stupid moth design on it-"

"They were all dusty." Marinette cut in.

"Right," I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly, "makes more sense."

Bridgette came over. She ran her finger down the side of the piano. "Felix...the piano isn't dusty."

I stared at her in confusion.

"Which means..." she started slowly.

"Which means...which means...it means-"

"Felix, it means someone cleaned it recently."

Shivers ran down my back as I realised what that could mean for us.

"It also means," Bridgette clenched her fists, preparing for a fight, "that someone- or something...could be in the mansion right now."

Slowly, we turned around.

Three sentimonsters stood there, in the doorway. It was like looking in a mirror.

Yeah, I really needed to start trusting my hunches.

~

i- yeah, you know the drill. apology, sincere promises to update soon that i'll never keep, yada yada- 

this fic is really coming to a close soon, huh?

see you next time!

-MyCrazyFandoms