i've gotten smaller, shrunk into myself, 's a good thing, i promise, 's a good thing; with a mouth like that, how could i eat? consumption makes me nauseous. my diet consists of coffee and fruit, and that should be enough. my diet consists off sleeping too much or too little, of staying inside, inside, inside; my diet consists of procrastination and moving. my diet is hunger.

(                          skin deep, skin deep. i wanna be skin deep, wanna feel the outline of every vertebrae in my back, wanna count ribs like i count teeth; like they're fully exposed, like they're one back moment from collapse; i wanna feel cold, even in the summer. wanna fight wind. wanna shrink, shrink, shrink into nothing. into a rabbit. into my dog. wanna be weighed on a bread scale, in apples. want my price per pound to be 15 a piece and i want all the produce to cost less that 100 bucks flat. i wanna crumble in on myself when it gets windy. wanna be thin thin thin. til' i look at myself in the mirror and i can see the ligaments in my neck/ til i can count eat and every vein; thin thin thin; wanna be dumb. wanna be dumb and pretty / get everything i want and more / i wanna get the interview cuz my eyelashes batt nice / wanna meet god / have him on his knees / wanna be pretty / pretty and thin, / or pretty thin at least. i wanna skin my knees and worry about blood loss. i want to look into my reflection and see only bone. i want this to become an issue. want to become so disgusted with myself that i sew my mouth shut entirely.                          )

dear god, help me go down a pant size or four, wanna be 000, i want to need a belt for every piece of clothing i own. i wanna be pretty. god, please, god. i wanna be skinny, skinny, skinny. i wanna crumble into ash; i want to swim in every piece of clothing my baby sister owns. i want to shrink to the weight of an egg—i want to be air. air alone. when i die, can i die skinny, please? one wish, i wanna die skinny. i want to be remembered as pretty when i'm gone, dear god. dear god, can i be thin when i go? can i be skinny in heaven, skinny in hell? can i be bone and bone alone?