Maybe wind was the friend we've made along the way.

It's funny how I feel so assured by how the breeze is today. The afternoon sunlight that went through the woods and make a decent light.

It's the first time I'm gonna shoot in front of others people like in Seijou. Although Oikawa and others wanted to see me shoot, I never really want them to see me. Especially in my current conditions.

I take a deep breath. Trying to focus on my surrounding, shut down all kind of voice. And just focusing on Minato behind.

"Nii-san."

Well, Minato that was a bad timing to call me but whatever for my dear brother. I slightly turn my head behind, hummed.

"...Are you alright being watched?"

"Why do you ask?"

"It just... you never show your shoot except the club and when you're in the competition." 

True. It does make me nervous than usual. I might be gonna mess up this one in the first shoot. My heart thumping so fast, I look at Oikawa who eagerly anticipated my shoot. Iwaizumi sitting in a good manner. The karasunos trying to keep quiet. With the captain hushing the first years.

"...Mhm, I might mess this up." I chuckled. Whatever happens next is something that can't be avoided. Just one shoot. If I just can shoot one arrow properly, that's enough.

That's a big achievement.

"But don't worry. You will pull me along with you when I fall right?" I can hear him laugh. Before hummed in response. Taking that as the signal to start, I stand up.

Once again, I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Trying to shut down all kinds of noise and light. Just focusing on myself and Minato.

The trees rustling, the noises of the insect, the sound of the wind. A comfortable sound that always makes me feel safe.

..ing

'...Just a little more.'

...ing....ring

'Just a bit more that I can grasp it completely.'

"...Haruki-senpai."

....I can't. I can't remembering that moment now.

My stomach feel it twisted with my neck feels so cold by the wind. Was.... the wind was this cold? The warm sunlight and breeze that brought me, now become so uncomfortable.

My heart rates became so fast that it made me uncomfortable. Even if I tried to calm it down by taking a deep breath, it didn't work. I slightly grip on my thigh to give me power to stand.

I stand up. Trying to shoot even if my focus is wavering right now. I look at the target and just trying so hard to just look at that. I adjust my foot distance.

Even so, it didn't change.

I place the arrow in the bow, bring the bow up slowly and steady. I pull the strings up to my chest, hold the position a little longer. The sound of the creaking from the bow can be heard.

The sweat that in my hand feeling disgusting right now. The hot but cold sensation on my body made my feet feel like sinking in a antartica with the hot air in the beach collided.

..........

..........

.....I can't-

"Haru-chan..."

My eyes instantly glance at Oikawa who whispered my name. I didn't mistaken my hearing right? By looking at Oikawa reaction, it seems I was right.  I let out a breath, it feels lighter now that I let all the breath I was holding in.

The target is in front of me. I just have to focus on there. My imagination that I hit there. I have to image it to grasp the moments.

It was just a second, I feel everything gone except me, Minato and the target. I knew.

I knew it's gonna hit.

I was gonna let go of the strings, convinced it will hit. But, something inside my mind appeared suddenly-

"How does it feel your precious arrows broke huh?"

"I can't ever be in the regular because of you."

"Poor Nikaido having to put up with you."

'...Oh no.'

Clack.

....It missed. Completely missed. It's not even hitting the target, it hit the ground. I just... no, I'm sure, I was so sure it will hit. But...

I put down my bow, look at my hand. It was shaking terribly. I widened my eyes. I could feel my legs become weak, my stomach curn. My neck feel dampened by the amount of sweats.

'...At now?'

"Nii-san?"

I look at Minato who look at me so worried. I let out a big breath and went to him, pat him in the head. Put a normal smile I always do. "...Sorry, is it maybe because of the volleyball match earlier, my hands feels different." Minato shook his head. "I don't care about that it just..."

I sighed, flash him a convincing smile. My eyes went to Masa-san who looked at me seriously, I just give him an awkward smile.

"It didn't went well like you expected huh?"

Masa-san look at me silently, didn't utter a word for a few seconds before walk up to me. Grab my hand and examined it. I tilt my hand, I'm sure my hand not injured or anything.

Then he look at me in the eyes. Serious look is in him, I was planning to shrugged it off by a laugh but by his serious expression, I can't say anything.

"...Nothing wrong isn't it?" I ask him. Because I'm sure nothing wrong is in my hand.

"Mhm..."

I was going to let out a relieved breath but stopped in the halfway to do that after Masa-san said something.

"Except you're shaking badly."

I could hear Minato let out a surprised noise as he quickly look at my hand. "Nii-san, you're shaking-"

I immediately take my hand back and hide it behind. "O-Oh, that's... I didn't realize that." I can't let Minato see this side of me. Not when there's Eisuke here.

"...Haruki-"

"I-I'm gonna take a drink. Sorry, but I will be back soon! Don't worry about me!" I put my bow and arrows to the side and quickly walk out of the Dojo. I can't bear to see the expression of them.

I walk, walk faster towards the vending machine.

Even now, just walking I feel like I will fell any second. My heart rates going up so much that it's so loud. My breath isn't getting any sign that it will calm. 

"Don't blame us for this. Blame yourself for being so naive."

...Nobody should know of that accident. Nobody should. It's just me that should know. I don't want anyone to be troubled.

"You don't want your precious partner to get involved don't you?"

It's something that happened because of me... Because of myself... It's something that I, myself have to solve. I don't need people around me to waster their times on it.

"Ahahaha... It's a shame that your fair skin become scarred."

I don't need...

....

....

....

Mom, was it a mistake to do Kyuudo like how you were?

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

"I wonder if Nii-san is okay..."

"He seemed so shaken."

"...We need to run up to him right?"

Around ten minutes after Haruki walked out of the Dojo. The Kyuudo club trying to practice how they are like always but, after something like that happened. It cannot ease their worries and just make many mistakes on their shoot.

The volleyball club leave shortly after Haruki, they said they need to train a bit more in their school. Except the other duo that still sitting and watching the Kyuudo club practice.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi still in there too. They planned to go home with Haruki after all.

Seiya glance at Nikaido. He then walk to him, standing in front of him. "Nikaido-senpai, you won't go to Haruki-san?" Nikaido raise an eyebrow, look at Seiya weirdly why he's asking that.

"Why don't you go then?" Nikaido ask to him. Him and Seiya having a stare contest. A imaginary spark of lightning can be seen among them. As Fuwa decided to interrupt them.

"Well well, I think we should go home now." Fuwa immediately broke their stare contest and drag Nikaido by pulling his collar. "I have something to ask." Nikaido said, Fuwa then sighed and let go of his collar.

Seiya stare at him. Waiting for his question.

"...Does Haruki-senpai always like that?" Seiya pondered. Trying to remember the whole half year if there's some moments that similar to what happened to Haruki like earlier. But even so, he can't remember. No, he just haven't seen that side of Haruki.

"Once... I've seen Nii-san shaking terribly." Minato spoke as everyone attention went to him. He was hesitant to tell everyone about this, because he think it's something that can't be told because Haruki would hate that.

"When is that Minato?"

"...When be came home from a school one day, even though he tried to hide it I looked at it for a second." Minato said slowly, remembering the moment when his brother was off. But he decided to not pry it.

At that, Nikaido immediately walk up to him when he hear that. Something didn't added up. "From the school...? Not after he came home from a tournament?" Minato tilted his head and shook his head. "No, I remember it was after school. It was..." He trying to remember the day, the time.

"It was... four days before the tournament."

Nikaido widened his eyes, four days before the tournament. That was...

Nikaido slowly walk away. Walking towards the exit as Fuwa panicked and follow him. Nikaido stopped in front of Oikawa and Iwaizumi. He glanced at Oikawa and gave him a cold glare for a second before left the Dojo. Fuwa make a sorry sign to both of them as he left too.

Oikawa irked at that and complained. "What with him?!? I knew it, he's really my rival for Haru-chan..." He grumbled and crossing his arms. Iwaizumi sighed and scratch his cheek before stand up. "Then, we will search for Haru." Iwaizumi said to Minato. Minato nodded worriedly.

"Could you please bring his things too? I think he needs rest." Minato said. Iwaizumi nodded and see Haruki bow and look at Minato, signaling if he take the bow too. Minato nodded in response.

"We will leave now then." Iwaizumi said bowed. Oikawa walk up to Minato and whispered to him.

"...Was there someone that was kinnddd of interested on Haruki?" Minato raised his eyebrow. Then think of the possibility. "...There was few of people in the same year that kind of always... picking on nii-san if I remember."

Oikawa eyes narrowed. As he try to ask few more question. "Were they close?"

"Not at all. Nii-san treat them like an acquaintance."

Oikawa just hummed. Thinking hard and sighed. "Thanks for the information." Minato just nodded as Oikawa walked out of the Dojo.

Minato now thinking why would Oikawa ask those question. Though the serious face on Oikawa after his usual carefree demeanor gone.

______________________________

"I should go back now..." Haruki sighed looking at the sky after drinking a can of juice from the vending machine.

He calmed down right now. The shaking stopped, his heart stopped racing so fast. All left is the feeling of guilt and anxiety how he should explain to the others.

Even though he didn't want them to see this side of him. Especially when he's there... Just when he's sure not gonna appear in front of him until it get better...

And when Oikawa was in there.

"...Damnit."

He once again let out a big sigh. Decide to go back now, he stand up and throw the empty can to the garbage box. While he was walking, he got a sting on his right arm. Specifically, between his right arm and shoulder.  He grunted in pain. It's not like it's that hurts, it just, sting a little.

Yea, just sting a little.

He have to put that thinking on his mind. So he would forget. Forget the pain. Forget the memories一

"How is that...? Huh?"

He stopped on his track completely. Gritted his teeth at the familiar voice, the voice he doesn't even wants to remember that playing on his brain. Sometime even if we don't want remember, our body will make us reminded of it. Even if our memory doesn't, our body does.

It's a natural response. And so does the shaking. And so does, the aching pain in his arm right now. It doesn't hurt. It is not actually. But he loathe the pain that it just made him more aware on the pain.

He doesn't even realize he actually gripping on his shoulder too hard that even his nails dugging on the skin.

It's not hurts. It's not hurts. It's not hurts. It's not, it's not一

"Haru-chan/Haruki!"

Haruki eyes snapped open at the very assuring voice he heard from behind. He turned around, and see how Oikawa and Iwaizumi calling for him while they walking towards him.

"Haru-chan! You're here!"

"Hurry and get changed on our class. We're gonna go home straight after that."

"....You two..." Haruki released a big tension on his body as he let go of his hand from his shoulder. "Oh don't worry! We took your belongings and your change! Here." Oikawa said as he showing Haruki how he have his bag and Iwaizumi holding his bow.

Haruki breath softly. A smile creeped out on his face. "...You didn't have to do that."

"We want do that."

"You promised us to go home together Haru-chan."

"I guess I did." Haruki chuckled and look at his bow. A saliva lumped in his throat as he tried to swallow it. "...The atmosphere was terrible wasn't it?"

The two didn't reply. They staring at Haruki with a worried face but couldn't really tell just with a glance. Haruki exhaled a big breath. "A~h, I really messed up! Even though I planning to show you guys how I'm capable of being a captain and worth of the title, I really messed it up! What a shame isn't it?" He said tried joking about it. He know he made them worried. He at least want them to know he's not always like that.

"...Haru-chan." Oikawa called out softly. Haruki just hummed without looking at him straightly. "...You're okay." Haruki look at him with a widened eyes. He tried mutters a word but cannot come up with it. Then he just show him a weak smile and went to them closer.

"...Let's go home. Also, thank you for bring me my things."

Iwaizumi pat Haruki shoulder a few times before saying, "No problem." Haruki smiled.

Oikawa stare from behind. He noticed Haruki wasn't alright, wasn't okay. But he needed to, he need to say to Haruki he's okay for now. To make him at least a bit relaxed on the confirmation.

"Oikawa. Let's go." Haruki called as Oikawa turn his face to his usual cheerful face. "Haru-chan~ Let me hug you一"

"Hell no."

"Mean."

"Deserved."

"Iwa-chan!"

He's okay. Yes, he's okay. He at least want that information. That he's okay, even if it's just for now. He felt relaxed a bit.

______________________________

Finally a bit glimpse of Haruki past! I wonder what did he experienced? Certainly not a good thing.

The next chapter prob gonna enter the haikyuu charas a lots.