I step onto the bus behind Mal.

Carli, Rose, Mal, and I landed yesterday. It is now my fourth camp with the team, and I'm starting to settle in. I really, really like the girls, but the more I do, the more it scares me.

One day Jill can decide she doesn't want me. I can put in everything I have, and she can think it's not enough. I know in the past she's cut players for reasons I never understood.

I feel sick to my stomach. Mal drops into a seat and scoots to the window. I sit beside her.

Out of nowhere, she sighs and punches me.

"Ow!" I put a hand protectively on my arm. "What was that for?"

She pouts. "You weren't listening."

"So you punch me?"

She just ignores me and restarts her rant about who knows what. I can't focus on her because all I can think about is training. But at the same time, I can't focus on training because her rant keeps derailing my train of thought.

The bus parks in front of a stadium. The girls stand up and file off. Tobin lets me in front of her. I force a smile and step into the aisle. As we're shuffling off she leans down and asks quietly, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I brush off.

She hums disbelievingly but doesn't press it. Everyone congregates around the benches and starts to put their gear on. I sit down and take off my Crocs. The rock in my stomach is still there, and as I look around, it gets even bigger.

What was I thinking? What was Jill thinking? Bringing me here to play with the best of the best? We're taking Carli Lloyd and Alex Morgan for goodness sake.

Speaking of Alex Morgan, "Hey, squirt. You feeling okay?" She put a hand to my forehead. "You don't look so good."

I move away from her hand. "I'm fine. Geez, do I need to make a public announcement," I grumble.

She frowns and takes her hand away dejectedly. I immediately feel bad, but before I can say anything, she says, "I know you don't know me very well, but I'm here for you if you ever need to talk."

I nod timidly. "Thanks."

She stands there for an awkward beat before turning and joining some girls in passing. I finish tying my cleats and slip in my shin guards. I stand up and a ball slides between my legs. Mal retrieves it with a laugh. "Let's go, slowpoke!"

After doing a couple different drills, we're split into teams for a scrimmage. Every time I get the ball my heart races and I panic. Half of my passes are turnovers, I've passed up multiple shots, and I can tell some of the girls were getting frustrated with me.

Julie splits two players with a diagonal pass to my feet. I turn with the ball. "Time! Hold the ball!" She vocalizes but the ball is already leaving my feet. It goes right to the other team and after three quick passes, we're down a goal.

"Let's take a quick water break," Carli calls out.

"You need to relax," the blonde snaps at me.

I take a step back, trying to stammer out an apology. Nothing comes out and I bump into someone. They rest a hand on my back. I look up to see Becky Sauerbrunn.

"Julie," she says calmly but firmly. "Get a drink."

Julie huffs and storms toward the water jugs.

I let out a shaky breath.

Becky sighs and shakes her head, watching Julie until she reaches the other girls. She squeezes my shoulder. "Why don't you head back to the hotel? I can think of a couple people who would be more than willing to take you."

I flinch. "Am I being sent home?"

"No, sweetheart. You're not going anywhere. I think you just need some time to reset."

I bite my lip. A break sounds nice.

"She's fifteen!"

Becky's head shoots up. She grumbles under her breath and takes off.

I trail behind her.

"Last time I checked, she was here for the women's national team. If she wanted to be treated like she was fifteen we have a U-16 girl's team that would be glad to have her."

Alex gets in Julie's face. "That's your teammate you're talking about."

"Do you even hear yourself?" The blonde snaps. "She can't handle the pressure. We have youth teams for a reason."

Alex's face is beet red. Her entire body is clenched, her muscles flexed from head to toe. Tobin jumps to grab Alex's wrist and anchor her to the ground. Carli beats Becky to the fight and gets in between.

"Hey!" Carli shouts. With a hard look, she growls at Julie and Alex, "Locker room, now."

They stalk off heatedly.

"The rest of you, on the field." When everyone hesitates to move she snaps, "We're moving. Let's go!"

The team scrambles to finish their break and rushes out to the field. I go to follow, but Becky pulls me back. "Come on," she says gently. She tugs me to the locker room and the second she opens the door, Julie's voice floods out. I wince, but follow Becky into the room.

Julie is ranting at a not very amused Carli Lloyd. Alex is steaming on a nearby bench. Becky whispers something to Alex, and she blinks. "O-okay," she murmurs. She takes a pair of keys from Becky and walks to me. "Let's go."

I follow her wordlessly. We grab our stuff in silence and find one of the trainer's rental car. Alex is angry. She opens the trunk aggressively but when she turns to me, her features soften. "I'm sorry you had to see that, kiddo."

Something occurs to me.

All that anger was for me.

I smile to myself. As she takes my bag and sets it in the trunk, I get the sudden urge to hug her.

But before I can, I retreat to the passenger seat.

I will update in 5-7 days. If this chapter gets 45 votes before then though, I will release the chapter early/as close to that time as possible. Thanks for reading!❤️